


The Favour

by maybege



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Choking, Come Eating, Come Marking, Creampie, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Dry Humping, Exhibitionism, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Face-Fucking, Finger Sucking, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Paz is a big softie sometimes, Pillow Talk, Praise Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Size Kink, Sleepy Cuddles, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Very Slight Degradation, Voyeurism, Yearning, it is a roadtrip through space!, jealous!Paz, literally all the filth you can imagine that comes with a blowjob, slight Breeding Kink, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:33:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 109,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25406962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybege/pseuds/maybege
Summary: When the group finds out that the troopers have been tracking you to get to the child, they decide to split up. Paz takes you on a roadtrip through space which leads you to discover your feelings and desires. And Paz is all to eager to help with those …
Relationships: Paz Vizla/Reader
Comments: 261
Kudos: 536





	1. To Help A Friend

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I spend too much time on the beach thinking about one giant bounty hunter and everything that’s laying beneath that armour of his. I know that we all have different head canons concerning Paz’s casting (I myself switch between Winston Duke and Jon Bernthal twice an hour) so I tried to hold his appearance a little vague so that we can all imagine whoever we want to. As always, feedback, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated, so don’t be shy! This might also become a series so I have marked it finished for now, but it’ll probably be extended at some point if you guys like it :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a potential one night stand gives you feedback that’s more than discouraging, you ask Paz to help you.
> 
> Warnings: someone is mean to the reader “off-screen”, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, choking, praise kink, very slight degradation, slight dirty talk, size kink, Paz’ massive c*ck, literally all the filth you can imagine that comes with a blowjob, cum play/eating, slight dom/sub undertones, also thoughts of unrequited feelings, yearning, Paz is a big softie sometimes

Like always, the end of a successful mission was celebrated in the closest cantina.

Din had asked his brother in arms a week weeks ago for his help and Paz was never one to refuse his friend. He might not agree with his dealings with the Empire but he was still his _vod_ , his brother, and all foundlings needed protection no matter the mistakes of their parents. So, he had agreed and joined Din’s ragtag group of friends.

And what a ragtag group it was.

There was, of course, the foundling. The one little creature that had started it all. Paz was still unsure exactly what kind of magic the little toddler possessed. He only knew that things were moving and floating when they should not be and that if anyone came too close to hurting one of the group in the child’s presence the enemy would somehow be prevented from going any further or even choked.

He was tiny though and, as loathe as Paz was to admit it, absolutely adorable. There had even been a moment when Paz was jealous of Din. Both of them had had a similar life so far, Paz was a few years older, yes, but their upbringing had been the same. Their life had been the same. Mandalorians valued family and children above all else and with his way of life and the insecure situation of the tribe, Paz had found himself resigned that he would probably not have a foundling or a child of his own. That was alright, many foundlings in the tribe were raised collectively and he took great care in providing only the best for them. But when Din – _Din_ of all people – suddenly came in possession of a child, Paz had questioned the stars above.

But Din was his brother and the feeling of envy had quickly dissipated. It was not his time and it was out of his control whether he was to be blessed with a foundling or not. All he could do was make sure that each foundling had the best life they could possibly achieve.

Then there was Cara Dune, a soldier much like Din and himself. He had immediately taken a liking to the woman. They seemed to understand each other without much need for talking. She respected his experience with weapons and he respected her experience on the battlefield. They were both able to learn from each other and that was more valuable to Paz than she would ever know. In times of unrest, it was always wise to gain more perspective, and he had never experienced more unrest than in the last few weeks.

And then there was you.

Din had told him that he had picked you up somewhere on a lonely planet when you had protected the child without even being actively involved in the mission. Since then you had been travelling with him and Cara, taking care of the child whenever necessary. And that was exactly what you were: a protector.

The first time Paz had ever met you, you had not yet known that he would join your group. When he had appeared in the ship behind you, you had yelped in surprise and grabbed the first weapon in sight. It was obvious that you had no physical training in combat whatsoever – you had held the blade completely wrong – but even with the fear in your eyes, he had recognized that you were ready to fight him if he wanted to harm the child. And he admired you for it. Not many people would willingly face the giant that he was and considering how small you were in comparison to him his respect for you had been imminent.

You were selfless, too.

The _Razor Crest_ was always cold and Paz mocked his brother for it endlessly. Truth was, he was used to the cold by now. He wore many layers under his armour and having lived most of his life in underground coverts. After a while, it had simply stopped bothering him. You, on the other hand, were constantly shivering or freezing, something that did not go unnoticed by him.

He wondered if your home planet had been one of the warmer ones, you tended to dress in breezy clothes as if they were the first thing you thought about putting on. And yet you always had a scarf or two around your shoulders and he knew for a fact that you had two blankets on your bunk because you would be freezing at night.

Yet when the child seemed even so much as shivering or just a little too cold, you would give up your second blanket, only remaining with the threadbare one to make sure that the foundling would not get cold. But your attention did not limit itself to only the child. You noticed immediately if something was wrong within the group, if Din was limping or if Cara’s throat sounded a bit sore. You were so kriffing attentive and stars if it that was not something that he loved about you.

But you were not really interested in speaking with him, that much was clear. You were always silent around him, barely getting any words out and it was the one thing that really bothered him. He knew he could be intimidating. He took great pride in being able to scare his enemies away before the first punch was thrown. But he did not want to intimidate _you_ , he did not want to give you the feeling that he would – he swallowed harshly – that he would hurt you in any way.

And now here he was, stoically trying to avoid looking at you as you were chatted up by some random ... _boy_ at the bar.

It made him uncomfortable.

He knew it was none of his business who you were gallivanting with in your own free time but that stranger could be dangerous. What if that man was a murderer? If he wanted to hurt you somehow? What if he was a spy, trying to get some information out of you?

The boy laid a hand on your waist and Paz growled.

Cara next to him laughed, “Oh tone it down a bit, big guy. Let her have her fun, she has been locked up in that ship with a toddler for weeks, the least she deserves is a good –“ Paz sputtered and interrupted her before she could say anything more. The thought of you in another man’s arms, naked at that, was _not_ something he wanted to think about.

(The only times he ever thought of you naked were in his bunk, alone, and always imagining you with him – _him_ and not some stranger at a bar.)

“Exactly,” Din, that traitor, agreed with his friend, “Besides, it is not like you’re jealous.”

His tone was carefully neutral but Paz could have throttled him at that moment. He was _not_ jealous, not at all. He was just worried about your safety like any good group member would be. The fact that the thought of this man’s hands on you irked him meant nothing. Nothing at all.

You touched the man’s shoulder and Paz’ hands clenched.

*

The night ended with them playing a game of cards back on the _Razor Crest_.

When Cara had talked to you about returning to the ship you had giggled and decided to stay behind, the man’s hands already all over you. It had taken every ounce of stress Paz possessed to not rip you away from him and into his arms. But he had decided not to. It was not his place.

“Seems like I won again. Pay up.”

Paz was convinced that Din was somehow cheating his way into winning as his friend collected more coins from the table.

He tried his hardest not to think about you. Not to think about the way the man was touching you right now or how your breath would catch in your throat when he kissed that spot behind your ears and certainly not to think about the way you would clamp around him when you came.

Paz growled and shifted in his seat.

The ramp was lowered, letting in some of the cooler night air and they all tensed. Ground security protocols were engaged – who would even be able to come in here?

Din had jumped up, grabbing his rifle from beside him and cocking it while Paz grabbed his blaster from beneath the table and raised it to the unexpected newcomer. All three of them were ready to fire at anyone who tried to disturb their peace.

But it was you.

 _You_ were the one hurrying up the ramp, tears streaming down your face and not even stopping to say hello. You went straight for the little room you shared with Cara, obviously in distress, too quick for anyone to say anything.

When the doors swished closed, the baby cooed worriedly, its ears wilting. You were usually always available for cuddles and seeing how the child loved your cuddles, you must have been pretty good at it, too. Never before had you just ignored them like that and Paz grew worried.

What had the monster done to you? Had he hurt you? You had not shown any outside signs of injuries but what if they had been covered your clothes? What if – What if he had tried something that you had not been ready to give?

Paz immediately jumped up and stormed after you. He would deal with Cara’s and Din’s teasing later, he just needed to know you were safe (and perhaps plan out a murder while he was at it).

The little room you shared with Cara was dark even as the doors swished open. He took it as a good sign that you had not locked the doors. That meant you might want to talk. He had never actively stepped foot in your room, he never had any reason to. But he did not hesitate for even one second when he heard your sobs through the door. You were sitting on the lower bunk, face in your hands as you cried. His heart clenched.

He kneeled down in front of you in an attempt to see your face, to spot any possible bruises. “What’s wrong? Do I need to hurt him? I’ll hurt him, I swear,” he vowed and gently took your hands off your face, “I’ll break every bone in his body twice if you wish it. “

You giggled through your tears, a heart-wrenching sound, and sadly shook your head, “He did not hurt me, Paz, I am just a bit emotional.”

He noticed with a jump of his heart that you let your hands rest willingly in his and his thumbs brushed over your wrists. “What did he do?”

“Well uh, it is embarrassing …” you shook your head as if to lose the thought but he remained at your feet, patiently waiting for you to reveal what that bastard had done to you.

“He – He wanted me to give him a blowjob,” you explained quietly and Paz had to force his hands to remain gentle around yours and not clench his fists – how could a man just demand that kind of pleasure from you?

You exhaled shakily, obviously still emotional from the encounter, “And uh, I did but –“ your lips tremble, tears collecting in the corners of your eyes, “Well, I wasn’t very good and he sent me away because –“ you hiccupped, “because someone who is so bad at pleasing a man does not deserve any kind of satisfaction.”

Echoing the words the man had said to you broke the dam and you were full-on crying again. Paz saw red. How could anyone _dare_ to make you cry? How could anyone even think of hurting you?

He pulled you down into his arms, rubbing your back and trying to soothe you. He was not the gentlest of people in his tribe but stars if he would not try for you. Here in his arms, you were a tiny little thing and he made sure not to accidentally bruise your ribs by pressing you into his chest. He wanted to make you feel safe, wanted to show you that you _could_ feel safe with him.

“He is a _chakaar_ ,” he tried to reassure you, “the lowest man of men and he did not deserve a single second of your attention, you hear me? He was lying.”

“But what if he’s right?” you mumbled into his chest plate, “What if – What if I’m really bad at it? How can I ever be sure that I am good at it?”

He had no answer for that but apparently, you did. Teary eyes looked up at him from his chest as you pouted.

“Would – would you teach me, Paz?”

His heart stopped.

*

You were not sure where the idea had come from, exactly.

One minute you were sobbing into Paz’ chest, convinced that you were absolutely inadequate in any sexual context, the next you were asking him if he could teach you how to do a proper blowjob.

That was certainly _not_ how you had imagined your day to end when you had gotten out of bed this morning.

You had harboured a tiny (big) crush on Paz for a long time now. Almost as long as he had been with the group. And that was already for a few weeks, months even, now. You had enjoyed his company from the start and always laughed at how he and Din kept bickering like childish siblings. Then again, they probably _were_ childish siblings.

He was a big man too, intimidating in his size and demeanour but it quickly became apparent that he had a soft spot for children. Whenever the baby asked for some cuddles he was there, gently cradling the tiny being to his chest in case Din was not present. Your strong feelings for the man had surprised you. Yes, you had had crushes in the past, but none of them had been as strong or as … passionate as the one for Paz.

Cara had tried to encourage you to talk more to him. But he was tall and silent and somehow you never managed to bring out a straight sentence when he was there. He must have thought you deaf or stupid because he never really talked to you as well. He had tried at first but with how shy you were he had quickly given up and your heart had deflated.

Now though, you must have utterly stunned him.

“You mean you’ve never uh-“, he made a vague hand gesture.

“Well I’ve had sex before,” you answered bluntly, “but it was nothing, um, very _extensive_.”

“I don’t want to take advantage of you,” he tried to refuse (and not think about how often he had imagined your mouth around him), “I need to know that you are doing this because you want to, really, and not because of this asshole.”

“I am doing it for me, Paz,” you promised, “I am asking you because I need your help. Not to please this – this man but because, because I want to know for myself that he is wrong.”

A deep sigh caught on his vocoder, letting out some static sounds. If he had not been wearing his helmet you would have bet that he would have run his hands through his hair. “Alright,” he finally agreed, his shoulders dropping.

“Really?” your voice was more of a squeak as you heard his agreement. As much as you had wished for it, you had not actually thought that he would agree.

Paz helped you to your feet and crowded you against the wall. His hands were in your waist and you looked up at him through half-lidded eyes. Already your heart was pumping in your chest, your throat dry.

“If that’s what you want, mesh’la,” he said, “then yes, I can teach you.”

You nodded quietly, looking up at his visor. His forehead was resting against yours and you could barely contain your excitement. “I can’t take it off. No loopholes,” he explained and you nodded your understanding. Din never took his helmet off either so you assumed it was some sort of Mandalorian rule.

With his hand still on your waist, he led you into his room. The hallways were completely dark but Paz seemed to know exactly when to steer you right or left so you would not bump into anything. You did not hear or see any of the others and you wondered if Din and Cara might be up in the cockpit with the kid.

Once you made it to his room, the doors closing behind you, you did not know what to do. The middle of the room seemed a good place to stand on while Paz paced around you. His room was even smaller than yours and Cara’s but his bunk was bigger. Although with how large he was you could not really imagine that it was comfortable for him.

There was a blue bedspread on it, something that undoubtedly was his as Din never really bought luxuries like this. It made you smile, to think that he had brought something onto the _Crest_ that was his. His own strange way of decorating.

You felt his gaze on you as he came to stand before you. “So,” he cleared his throat, “What was it that was, uh, _critiqued_? Anything specific?”

Memories of what the man said to you – spit at you – came rushing back and you shook your head to get rid of the pain his words had caused, the humiliation. “Nothing. Only … only that I wasn’t very good at it.”

Paz took a deep breath, “Alright. Did you – Did you like giving a blowjob?”

The question made your face warm but you knew that Paz was not here to make fun of you. He asked you that because he genuinely wanted to help you. Besides, he seemed as nervous as you were and that was a good sign, right?

“I …”, you hesitated a moment before divulging the truth, “I didn’t like it. He didn’t give me any time to prepare just – just shoved it into my mouth.”

He growled – an angry sound that made you feel ashamed. Even Paz recognized that you had been bad at it and for some reason that hurt worse than the words that been thrown at your head tonight. Your voice was small as you averted your eyes to the floor, “How can I do it better?”

Warm hands settled on your shoulders as he gazed down at you, “I need you to know, a hundred per cent, that this was not your fault, mesh’la. Do you understand?”

You had no time to react to his words, dripping of honesty and something that you wanted to call affection before he continued talking.

“The most important part is that you are comfortable,” he added, “At least when you have the time to talk about it. Would you like me to sit or to stand?”

You thought for a moment. Paz was incredibly tall and he was towering over you as it was, if you were to kneel on the floor he would seem even bigger. While the thought brought a flush to your cheeks, you were not quite ready to divulge in that particular fantasy yet. When you looked over his bunk, you thought about kneeling between his thick armoured thighs and the decision was quickly made. “Sit, please.”

Paz nodded once and went over to sit on the edge of the blankets. Just like in your imagination a few moments ago, he immediately spread his knees wide, making space for you in between them. Quietly you followed him and carefully kneeled down between his legs. You were nervous but also strangely excited about what was to come. This was the closest you would ever be to him, the closest he had ever let you and you wanted to make the most of it. You wanted to sleep in the knowledge that you were able to please him, that the man’s words did not matter because the one man who did matter? He wanted you there.

It was weird, sitting in such an obvious position with him towering over you but the feeling between your legs pulsed and you inhaled sharply. Paz shifted above you, spreading his legs a little wider and you could spot a few scratches on the plate on his thigh. You watched as he took off his gloves, revealing tanned skin and rough fingers just like you had imagined. _Even his hands are gigantic_ , you thought and swallowed harshly. A warm hand came to rest on your cheek and you closed your eyes. He was so warm.

“Tell me what you are thinking about,” he asked of you as his thumb brushed over your lower lip until it rested just on the middle of it.

You opened your eyes slowly, already clenching your thighs together, and looked up at his visor. You knew that the helmets had some sort of colour filter on them, that he could not see you as you were, but stars you hoped he liked what he saw of you.

“I – I want this to be good,” you confessed quietly, “I want to learn to do it better but I also – I want to please you.”

With the movements of your lip, his thumb slipped into your mouth gently and you let it happen. Paz hummed in approval, pressing his finger down on your tongue and you opened your mouth slightly.

“Can you suck on that for me?” his voice sounded almost hoarse and you nodded, relieved that he was guiding you through it.

Slowly you closed your lips around his fingers and did as he told you. When your tongue touched the pad of his thumb you could feel how rough his skin was and how it still tasted faintly of the leather of his glove. You hollowed your cheeks and started sucking. It was an unknown sensation at first and you were unsure if you did it right but when you saw him tense you took it as a good sign.

The longer it went on, the surer you grew of yourself. It was strangely arousing and when you thought about doing that to … to _him_ , your thighs clenched in anticipation and your eyes fluttered closed. Abruptly, Paz pulled the thumb from your mouth with a plop and started fiddling the buckles and fastenings of his belts and trousers. Excited you shuffled a little closer to him, wanting to help him, wanting to have him in your mouth.

“Oh no, not yet,” Paz chuckled, “Wanna get you used to it first. I’m not like that _chakaar_ , I want to make sure, you really want it, mesh’la.”

He held up two of his finger to your mouth as the other hand released his cock from his pants. Your eyes widened. It was thick and long and – and massive. The tip was weeping some fluid and he was certainly larger than the other man from tonight.

“You – you are so big,” you mumbled, not able to contain your astonishment. You were not sure why it surprised you. Paz was a huge man, a giant, really, and it would only be fitting that his … other parts would match him in every way. Still, you had never even seen anyone that big and you would be lying if you said it did not intimidate you a little.

Paz only chuckled in response and pressed his two fingers more insistently against your lips, reminding you of your current position. As you opened your mouth to him, your eyes did not leave his cock. It was directly in front you and when his bare hand loosely wrapped around himself your eyes doubled in size. You had never seen a man pleasuring himself and he just did it so casually in front of you as if it was the most natural thing in the galaxy. A low groan escaped him and spurred you on. With your eyes still on his moving hand, you started to swirl your tongue around his fingers, bobbing up and down on them, trying somehow to imitate the feeling you wanted to have.

His hand kept stroking himself with a strong grip and occasionally his cock would twitch, another drop of that fluid leaking from the tip. The sight made you wet, wetter than you were before, and you tried to remind yourself that this was not about pleasing yourself but about him. You wanted to bring him pleasure, be the one who threw him over that cliff.

“The key to a good blowjob is that you need to _want_ it,” Paz explained all the while stroking himself in front of your eyes, “It is my job to make you want to suck my dick, mesh’la, understood? Any man who does not do that does not deserve it. That man? He did not deserve it and he certainly did not deserve you.”

He leant forward then, bringing his head closer to yours and you ripped your eyes off the tantalizing view of his cock and up to his visor. His fingers were still in your mouth and you wondered if you should be embarrassed by how your mouth had watered at the sight of him. Surely, he had noticed, right?

“Do you want to suck my cock, mesh’la?” he asked

Eagerly you nodded your head, his fingers moving with you. “Please, I want it, Paz,” you said around his digits, a drop of spit escaping you and running down your chin, “Please let me have it.”

He groaned, it was easily the sexiest sound you had ever heard and you wanted to make him do it again. Paz pulled his fingers from your mouth, the digits glistening from your spit, and used that hand to spread your wetness onto him. You could see how he glistened in the light and when he was satisfied with it, he held his cock at the base and slowly aimed it towards you. “Hold it in your pretty hands, mesh’la,” he commanded, “Have you ever looked at a cock before this?”

You shook your head and crawled even closer to him you were completely caged in by his armoured thighs. That one time you had sex, it had been in the dark, mostly unsure fumbling underneath the blankets. You had never had the chance to really _look_.

Carefully you took him in your hands and found out that one hand was not enough to completely wrap around him. Paz remained bowed over you but he let you explore to your heart’s content. He was smooth and soft but also so hard and heavy at the same time. He also felt hot, you noticed with some wonder. His tip was a deeper colour than the rest of him, and there were drops of precum collecting at the top. You wanted to taste them but was that something you could do? What if he did not like it?

He was so big you became a little overwhelmed. Where should you even start? Would you even be able to cover all of him?

You decided to imitate the movements you had seen him use earlier and started slowly stroking him. Paz moaned above you and threw his head back. From your vantage point on the floor, you could spot a sliver of skin, bare skin, and you grew hot.

“You are doing great, love,” he encouraged you, “Whenever you feel like it, you can spit on it or – or lick it to make it a bit slicker.”

You nodded, determined to make this good for him and let some of your spit drop down on the tip. He twitched in your hands as you spread the slick around. He was right, it was a bit easier stroking him now and you continued your movements along the shaft, mesmerized by how he moved in your hands.

Once again, your eyes fell to the beads of precum on him and this time you could not help yourself. Quickly you darted your tongue out and licked just the tip, just to get a taste, to know what it was like. The sound that came from him was inhumane and you halted your movements, unsure if you had accidentally hurt him or done something incredibly wrong.

“Was – was that alright?”

“Stars, mesh’la, that was perfect,” he panted, the vocoder making some strange static noises whenever he breathed too harshly, “You can take it in your mouth now if you want to. Just the tip, though, get used to it first, don’t want you to take on more than you can handle.”

You smiled at his praise, genuinely happy that you had done something right, that you had made him feel good. One of his hands buried itself in your hair, steadily leading you to him. You opened your mouth as far as it would go and engulfed the tip in your lips. He made another one of those sounds and a feeling of power coursed through you. _You_ made him feel like that.

He felt even bigger in your mouth and you struggled to suckle on him. But what you did manage seemed to be enough as the hand on your head tightened and pulled your face closer to him, pushing more of his shaft into your mouth. Your eyes shot open in surprise as his cock did not quite yet hit your throat but it was close enough, your throat closing in panic at the unexpected intrusion.

Paz immediately let go of you. “Shit – kriff, I’m sorry, sweet girl,” he apologized breathlessly, “that should not have happened. Take your time, this is for you.”

The hand in your hair gently brushed over your cheek and it was an oddly affectionate gesture considering your lips were still wrapped around his length. But you kept him there and started hollowing your cheeks. He hissed above you and you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, trying to keep him wet and get him further inside you. Your brows furrowed. You had only taken part of him but what if you wanted to take him deeper? You knew it was possible, you had heard enough from the prostitutes in your village talking to each other. But how would he even fit?

Gently you popped him out of your mouth, “I – what if I can’t breathe?” you asked him, a little unsure of how to proceed. You were looking up at him, feeling completely shielded by him from everything else around you. You settled your hands on your knees, no longer holding him. Your fingers twitched against your skin, wanting to seek out that bundle of nerves between your legs and pretend that it was his fingers that brought you to completion.

His voice sounded raspy when he responded to you and you were proud of how affected he was by your ministrations. “Try and breathe through your nose,” he elaborated, “There is a point where that doesn’t help either when I’m – when the man is down your throat but then you need to communicate with m – your partner how you want to proceed. We don’t have to do that.”

“I want to do that,” you stated, licking your lips, “I want to try that – can I, Paz?”

“Holy kriffing stars, _yes_ ,” he replied, his hand wandering from your cheek back up to your hair, “Tell me what you need, mesh’la.”

“I want you to guide me,” you murmured, heat in your cheeks, and his hand tightened in your hair, “Can you tell me what to do, please? Paz, I want to please you.”

“Please _me_? Girl, you’ve been making my cock throb just by being in the same room as me, no need to take me down your throat,” he reassured you but pulled you towards him nonetheless, “but you ask so prettily – open that pretty little mouth for me, nice and wide.”

His words were like a drug to you. He liked you. He liked being with you – that had to count for something, right?

You did as he asked, sticking your tongue out to offer more space and he moaned. One hand was holding your head while the other was guiding his cock to you. For a moment he rubbed the tip on your outstretched tongue and the arousal in you only grew hotter, wetter and harder to resist. But when he slowly pulled your head more onto his cock, any thoughts about pleasing yourself were completely forgotten. For the first few inches, you suckled on him, licked the veins on the underside and put your hands on the parts that you did not yet reach.

“Kriff, look so pretty like this, sucking on my cock,” he groaned and pushed his hips closer. You started breathing through your nose like he had told you to, and it worked. Your concentration was so focused on breathing through your nose that your hands ceased their movements on his shaft but Paz did not seem to mind as he slowly began to thrust into your mouth.

You chanced a glance up at him, just to see his reaction if you were doing a good job but he groaned, “Keep looking at me, mesh’la,” he ordered, “Keep looking at me with those pretty eyes while I fuck your throat.”

The last few inches were still not in your mouth and you grew frustrated. Your jaw was already aching from how wide you had opened for him but you wanted this. You needed this, needed to show him and yourself that what this man had said wasn’t true. Needed to show yourself that you could please Paz. So, you forced yourself down his cock, a choking sound escaping you and tears collecting in the corner of your eyes.

“Would you look at that,” his hand came down to stroke down your cheek as a tear escaped your eye, “you are choking for self on my cock just like that. Such a good girl …”

The praise made your head spin and you pulled off for a few second, gaining back your breath. “I like it,” you gasped out, “Please more, Paz, I can take it I promise.”

Rough fingers tilted your chin up and you saw your reflection in the visor of his helmet. Your eyes were rimmed red, tear tracks leading downy your cheeks to your mouth and chin that were covered in your saliva. You looked absolutely debauched and you _loved_ it.

“Are you saying I should fuck that little mouth of yours, mesh’la?” Paz’ voice was gentle, dangerously calm, and you nodded, “If you want to stop, if anything’s wrong, tap my thigh three times.” You nodded again. Paz pushed his cock back into your mouth, it felt full and heavy on your tongue but you liked being this close to him, to have him.

“Tap three times,” he instructed you and you did. He hummed in approval before slowly pulling your head back and then surging forward, hitting the back of your throat.

He fucked you in earnest then, holding your head in place while pistoning his hips into your face. There were gagging and choking noises coming from you, the airflow being interrupted at times but not once did you even _think_ about tapping his thigh. You loved the absolute power he had over you and the one you had over him. Tears were streaming down your face as you kept eye contact with him. You knew he was looking at you, you just knew it, and the wetness between your legs became almost uncomfortable.

“Wanted you for so long,” he ground out, “first time I saw you and your smile and I knew you were perfect. Kriff – kriffing dream of you. Your smile, your laughter, how your eyes kriffing light up when you’re happy … _kriff_.”

His words let your heart grow hopeful but with a particularly hard thrust, he opened up your throat and you choked, surprised by how deep he was. You would be sore tomorrow morning but you did not mind, not when he was grunting above you, rambling on about how _beautiful you looke_ d, how _good you were doing_.

Everything happened in a blur, then. Paz was cursing above you, pulling his cock from your throat moving to put a hand on him but then he exploded all over your face.

Rope after rope of cum landed on your forehead, your cheeks, your mouth and your chin.

“Kriff, mesh’la, I am so sorry, I did not want to – I did not mean to –“ his voice was weak and he stumbled over the words.

You wiped some of the fluid off your eyes, unsure what to do with it, and then decided to suck it off your finger. It tasted better than you had imagined, salty somehow, and you took another swipe across your cheeks and licked that up too. Paz chuckled through his helmet, obviously out of breath, as he slowly shook his head, “Kriff, mesh’la, you cannot get any more perfect, can you?”

He might just have face fucked you into the next sleep cycle but you still ducked at the compliment. Paz did not seem like the kind of man to just throw those around so maybe it really did mean something?

Leaning his elbows on his knees, his bare hand came up to your face. “Here let me,” slowly he dragged his fingers through the mess on your face and held it out for you. Obediently, you licked and sucked it off his fingers and once you were done he repeated the motion until nothing was leftover.

The room was silent except for the humming of the ship and slowly brought you back into reality. Your jaw was aching and your knees were kind of sore from kneeling for stars knew how long. Paz tucked himself away neatly, not saying anything.

The reason for why you had done what you just did came back and his silence made you nervous. What if he had not liked it? Truth be told, you had the impression that he did, in fact, like it and more than everything you were hoping that it was true. Carefully you stood up, wincing at the pain in your knees and Paz’ visor shot to you immediately.

“Do – was that good, for you, I mean?” you asked shyly, your hand fidgeting, afraid of what he might answer. Paz stood up as well to his full height, once again towering over you. His gloved hand fell to your hip and he murmured, “It was perfect.”

You grew warm at the praise and his chest rumbled with laughter. Your eyes fell to his moving chest plate and you wondered what he looked like underneath all his layers. Would you ever get to see it? Would he ever let you this close again?

“Whatever that _utreekov_ had to criticize, he was a kriffing idiot, that did not deserve your attention believe me.”

“Thank you, Paz.”

And you truly meant it. Not many people would have done this, let you practice on them and made you feel this safe. There was still slick between your thighs and you wondered if there ever was a chance that he might … that he might ever take a genuine interest in you so that you would get to know what his hands would feel like between your thighs.

But as it stood, Paz had agreed to do this as your friend, you tried to remind yourself. You were certainly not his type and who could blame him, honestly? He was living in a culture of war and battle and _you_ could not possibly be any further from that.

A yawn escaped you, the happenings of the day and the drinks in the bar finally catching up with you. The thought of returning to your own bunk did not seem as appealing as it had been an hour ago. It would be lonely and could and you knew you would spend the whole night thinking about what had just transpired.

Who were you kidding? You would be thinking about it for the weeks to come.

Paz let himself fall back onto the bunk, his hand still on your hip, “You – you’re sleepy, mesh’la,” he recognized, his tone soft as you yawned.

You felt weird now that the lesson was over. You had exposed yourself to him like that, your desires and your wishes and he had accepted them and fulfilled them. Without any hesitation had he guided you through all of it, almost natural at dominating you like this, but also making sure you could stop at any time if you had wanted to. He had let you see him like this, the most exposed a warrior like him could be and it was the greatest sign of trust he had ever shown you, you thought.

“C’mon,” he mumbled and you let him pull you to the bed, “Rest awhile, you deserve it, love.”

You tried to blink against the oncoming sleep, not quite hearing what he was saying. He made you straddle him, wrapping his arms around your back and slowly laying down. You were awake enough to think, _He lets me sleep in his bed_. But when he gently pushed your head into the crook of his neck, the one place where you could feel his actual body heat, you were a goner.

You felt safe and taken care of and you never wanted to change that again.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vod = brother
> 
> chakaar = corpse robber, thief, petty criminal - general term of abuse
> 
> utreekov = fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead)
> 
> mesh’la = beautiful


	2. Patching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after Paz ‘helped’ you comes with many surprises – and none of them are good.
> 
> Warnings: thoughts on sexual topics/themes, canon typical violence, yearning, tiny bit of fluff(?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh well, here we are! I have no words for how excited I am to start this story. This will be very lightweight plot-wise and I do not plan on any angst. It is literally just yearning, fluff and a healthy dose of smut (some kinky, some softer). Please note that while the reader did have some sexual experiences before (one, to be exact) she is still quite inexperienced which thus creates a power imbalance between her and Paz. This story is about the reader exploring and discovering her sexual desires with Paz guiding her. I am aware that this is not everyone’s cup of tea, so I just wanted to put that out there. Also, while in this story, all their encounters are consensual and from a base of trust, I just want to reiterate to any readers out there that might be inexperienced as well (like this bish right here): do not ever feel the pressure to do something because you consider yourself ‘late’ or because your partner might feel the need to go further than you want.

At first, you were convinced that it had all been a dream.

It had been foggy in your mind, the feeling of Paz in your mouth, his hand in your hair, his fingers on your tongue. He had called you pretty, had talked about your smile like it was the sun. Your eyes were still closed when you smiled at the pretty dream that had extended into a daydream. Those were the best kind, the ones that just filtered into your consciousness and made waking up that much sweeter.

But when you swallowed, your throat hurt – no, it _ached_ – and you opened your eyes in confusion.

You blinked blearily against the dim light in your room, wondering where Cara was when you noticed that this was _not_ your bunk. This was not even your _room_.

Then it hit you like a wall.

Last night had not been a dream. It had been real.

You did not know what shocked you more. How blunt you had been, gathering your courage and actually asking him to teach you a blowjob. Out loud. Or how he had agreed.

You could still taste him on your tongue, thick and salty, and you squirmed when you remembered how turned on you had been. More turned on than ever before and he had not even touched you. What would he be able to do to you when he had the intent to pleasure you?

The thoughts in your minds jumped from memory to memory, finally settling on how he had praised you. _He had praised you._

And then you had fallen asleep on his chest. You distinctly remembered his warm hand on the back of your neck, thumb stroking along the bone there, and how his chest plate had slowly warmed up the longer you had been cuddled up to him. But where was he now?

When you sat up, a bunch of blankets fell to your hips, pooling around your lap, that had not been there before. With a smile, you rubbed the blue bedspread between your thumb and forefinger. It was incredibly soft and was made of thick fabric, the kind that would keep you warm even on planets like Hoth. It was surprising somehow, you had not taken Paz for a person who got cold during the nights. Then again, he was softer than he seemed, at least to you.

You smiled at the thought, stupidly gazing at the fabric in your hand. Yes, he really was soft. The way he had cradled you to his body made your heart feel like mush. But where was he now?

Looking around the dimly lit room, it became apparent that he had left. He had left and not said anything. Why?

You took a deep breath in an attempt to settle your anxiety.

It did not have to mean something bad, right? Maybe he had just needed to take care of something? Or maybe he had wanted you to be able to wake up on your own?

No, it would be alright. Now was not the time to read too much into all of this.

But you could not help but feel giddy at seeing him again. Maybe now that you had gotten out of your comfort zone, you would be able to actually speak to him. Face him like the adult that you were. Maybe all of this had been the push in the right direction that you had needed? After how he had praised you last night there was no way he could not _not_ like you, right?

With the newfound (forced) optimism you stood up, straightened your clothing and tried in vain to get your hair in check. As you left his room, the hallways were silent and empty, enabling you to hurry to your own and Cara’s room without having to face anyone. Cara was nowhere to be found as well, which was … odd but not exactly alarming.

You used the opportunity to change into a fresh set of clothes. In the little en-suite refresher, a luxury which you had been surprised to find on a ship like the Crest, you washed your face. As the soap foamed on your face you remembered how he had spilled on you. You had never thought that that would be something you would experience, least of all enjoy. But you had enjoyed it. Which only left you to wonder: what else had you not yet experienced that you would be able to enjoy?

 _Let’s take it one step at a time_ , a voice in your brain tried to remind you, and you swallowed as the water splashed on your face.

The shirt you had chosen to wear was your favourite one, one of the more delicate ones you owned with a little bit embroidery on the sleeves and neckline When you faced him again you wanted to look your best.

( _Even though he has seen you choking on his cock with tears streaming down your face and spit on your chin_ , your brain chimed in and your ears grew hot, trying to ignore the illicit memory.)

When you arrived at the hull with a skip in your step, the ramp was closed and you were greeted by Cara who was sitting on a crate cleaning a blaster. She seemed very relaxed. You looked around as and furrowed your brows. Neither Din nor, more importantly, Paz was anywhere to be seen.

“Well look who has graced us with her presence?” Cara greeted you with a teasing smile, “What’s up?”

You only smiled at her in acknowledgement, happy that both of you were apparently going to ignore the fact that you had not spent the night in your bunk but somewhere else.

“Where are the others?” you asked hesitantly, afraid of the answer.

“Left on a mission a few hours ago,” she shrugged, “Paz was eager to get out there and Din didn’t mind. I think they should be back by sundown – why?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, was just wondering,” you replied. Internally, you deflated at the thought that he really _had_ just left you. He had not woken you. He had not talked to you at all. He had just left – left you had feared all along.

You did not quite know what to make of that.

Perhaps this was just the confirmation that it had been indeed a favour between friends. He had wanted to help you after you had asked him to and he did. He had helped you. And now it was over.

You cursed yourself for how sad it made you. You should know better than to make yourself hopeful.

Cara mustered you, her eyes full of concern, “Are you alright?”

Quickly you shook your head, trying to get rid of the heavy thoughts in your mind, “I didn’t know they would be gone on a mission this early, that’s all.”

Your dark-haired friend nodded slowly as if she was reluctant to believe you, but she did not press the matter and for that you were glad. You forced yourself to make your smile more believable and straightened your shoulders. You could act like the grown-up that you were. You could deal with this.

From somewhere the child cooed up at you, whining for attention which you were more than relieved to give. Your shoulders relaxed as you picked him up. This was something you knew. This was a situation that was familiar to you, where you could not accidentally mess things up.

As if sensing your unease, he cuddled up to you and this time your smile was genuine. “Hey there, buddy, you up for some playtime?”

Large ears perked up and you laughed.

You spent hours with him. First, you did some colouring, followed by some ‘chasing’ around the hull with Cara joining in on the fun. Both of you were playing the ‘monsters’ the child was trying to escape from with excited giggles. Then it was time for something to eat. You fed him some soup before he fell asleep in your arms, tuckered out from the action-packed day.

And the more time passed, the more you were able to gain back your countenance and slowly managed to work through your emotions.

You were gently rocking the child in your arms, once again finding that is presence calmed you. He seemed to do that a lot and you wondered if he did it intentionally, if it was one of his abilities, or just the general presence of a toddler in your arms that made you so happy.

Cara was next to you, although you were not exactly sure what she was doing – building a rifle? She was humming to herself, adding to the peaceful atmosphere in the hull and you liked it.

But when you heard blaster fire, you froze.

The child flinched awake in your arms, already whimpering. You tried shushing him with limited success. He looked at you with big eyes, ears wilting down in obvious concern as you both waited for the sounds to pass.

But they didn’t.

They only grew closer.

Helplessly you looked towards Cara. What should you do now? What were you supposed to do? Should you do anything?

The woman was tense, her work abandoned on the crate as she gripped a blaster in her hand, head tilted toward where the sounds grew closer outside. More and more shots rang out and your heart started to beat faster.

Any hope that it might have been Paz or Din disappeared into thin air when the ramp started to forcefully creak open, so loudly it hurt your ears. Blaster fire shot into the room before someone even appeared in your line of vision. You screamed in fear and felt the child whimper against your chest.

“Run! Hide! They can’t find him!” Cara screamed at you, starting to fire her blaster in the direction of the intruders, “I will cover for you, just get out of here!”

You nodded hastily, gripping the child closer, and turned on your heel to run into the belly of the ship. You knew that Din had stashed the child’s pram somewhere. You knew that it would keep the child safe for a while and then you just needed to hide him long enough for Cara to deal with them. But first, you needed to find the pram.

What if Cara did not succeed though?

Immediately, you tried to shake off the thought. Now was not the time for doubt. You needed to act and you needed to do it fast. You needed to keep the child safe.

You did not hear any footsteps behind you and thanked the stars that no one had followed you. In a closet you found the pram and pulled it out into the light, opening it. As you tried to set the child down, it stretched out its tiny hands towards you, whimpering.

“It’s going to be alright, I promise,” you shushed him, “We just need to be really quiet, yes? But we can do that. It’s gonna be alright, I promise.”

You continued to whisper soothingly towards him as you closed the lid, willing him to not make any loud noises. As you went to lock it inside, you heard the unmistakable sound of a blaster firing up and you whipped around.

It was a stormtrooper.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said in a mechanical voice, that made your blood freeze.

How had they known you were here? How had they found your group?

The stormtrooper had his weapon pointed at you, ready to fire. But you remained standing in front of the pram, in front of the child, effectively shielding it in the mean-time. You tried to look around but there was nothing you could even use as a weapon.

Kriff, how were you supposed to get the child out of here?

The weapon was still pointed at you and you swallowed harshly. Your heart beat so harshly in your chest, it hurt. There was no weapon for you to use. From the sounds of it, Cara was still involved in fighting some of them in the hull and even if you were able to somehow signal her that you were in a tight spot, she would not make it in time.

There was nothing you could do and you certainly would not give the toddler to these monsters.

So, you faced him stoically, refusing to show that you were afraid.

“Really ready to be shot down for that wrinkly thing, huh?” the trooper mocked you, taking a step closer which made you take a step back. Your back bumped against the cool metal behind you and you took your chance. In one smooth movement, your hand reached behind your back, activating the lock.

Were you really ready to be shot down for the child?

Yes. Yes, you were.

You raised your chin defiantly. The trooper seemed to realize your decision and froze in surprise. He shifted his stance, shoulders tensing as he adjusted his grip on the weapon.

Tears collected in your eyes as you squeezed them shut.

This was it.

When the shots were fired, three sharp sounds in the air, a shadow fell over you. When nothing hurt you cracked one eye open. Was this what death felt like? The absence of pain?

Instead, you were faced with blue armour – very _familiar_ blue armour – and you gasped.

Paz was standing right in front of you, a large rifle in his hand and the trooper just a smoking pile of duraplast on the floor.

When he turned around to face you, you spotted the scorch marks on his chest plate. Ha had taken the shots for you. His chest rose and fell heavily as if he had been running a marathon and you grew dizzy as the realization really hit you. He had taken the shots for you.

“Tell me you are alright,” he grunted, his voice dark, “tell me right now you are alright or I will hunt them down and make them pay. Every single one of them.”

“I am alright,” Paz,” you tried to reassure him, still confused over what had happened. The ship was eerily silent now and your brain decided that now was the time to catch up with every single thing that had happened in the last few minutes.

You had almost died.

There had been a blaster pointed at you and the person had shot.

You could be dead.

Paz had taken the shots for you.

Your hands started to tremble as you repeated yourself, “I am alright. It is just the shock.”

Paz noticed your jittering body, of course. It was hard not to notice it. His visor looked down at your hands, gently taking them in his. You tried your hardest to focus on the feeling of rough leather instead of the memories jutting through your mind.

“Stars, mesh’la,” he breathed, his voice catching on the vocoder, “Let’s get back to the others, alright?”

You nodded your head meekly, leaning your forehead against his chest plate. You could smell where the blaster fire had burnt through the durasteel, an unpleasant smell that ground you into reality.

The child cooed from behind you and you noticed Paz leaning forward, careful not to move you too much, to pick him up. It was his broad hand on your back guiding you back into the hull, while his other arm carried the child.

Din and Cara were busy deposing of the bodies.

“Are you alright?” Din asked you and you nodded at the same time as Paz hissed, “Do you _think_ she looks alright!?”

His hand on your back flexed and you shifted a tiny bit closer to him, wanting him to know that you were alright, or at least you thought you were, and also to fully wanting to indulge in his closeness.

Din just stared at Paz for a long, hard minute and Cara frowned at you.

No one said anything.

Then, Din started moving, pushing a stormtrooper down the ramp and into the dirt, “That should be all of them, right?”

“There is still one in the back but I will handle it,” Paz growled and handed you the child who looked up at you with big eyes.

As soon as Paz had left, Cara stepped closer to you, “What happened?”

“He – he wanted to shoot me,” you murmured, pressing the child closer to you. Somehow, actually having to say the words made it all the more real, all the more traumatizing. “But Paz came and he just – he just stood there, Cara.”

“Of course, he did,” the woman smiled, softly pulling in for a hug, “Of course he did. You are alright, okay? You are alright.”

 _I am alright_ , you tried to repeat in your head, _I am alright_.

When all was settled, Din and Paz and Cara disappeared into the cockpit, setting course for a new bounty or a new hideout. You did not know which and you did not care.

Your hands had not stopped trembling and you rocked the child in your arms. A few minutes ago, you had done the same thing in a peaceful environment with not a care in the world and now here you were, a trembling, crying mess.

When the child had fallen asleep again, you settled him into his little bed, making sure he was tucked in neatly. You freshened up (again) in your room before you decided that the best way to deal with all of this was probably to distract yourself. If you could keep yourself busy, your mind would have less time focussing on the scary events of today.

So, you climbed up into the cockpit where the rest of the group was sitting.

“You alright?” Cara checked in again, her arms crossed over her chest.

You nodded, “Yes, I was just wondering if any of you needed any help patching up? Or – or cleaning or anything?”

There was no immediate answer.

But it seemed like Din said something to Paz in Mando’a who retorted something quietly. The discussion continued, though, and it got heated quickly when Din suddenly shouted out, “Paz got hurt. Might be better for you to take a look at it or else it’ll get infected.”

Your eyes were big as your gaze shot the blue-armoured man who was slouching in the co-captain’s chair. He was muttering something under his breath that suspiciously sounded like _traitor_.

But his shoulders _were_ quite stiff. And you remembered the smell of burned durasteel from where he had taken the shots for you.

“Paz, is that true?” you asked, surprised and shocked and hoping to the stars that maybe it was not true. That it was not as bad as it could be. Was he hurt because of you? Because you had not been able to protect yourself?

Your hands started trembling again.

“It is nothing, mesh’la,” Paz hurried to say, standing up and walking towards you, “I only need a few patches, nothing I can’t do myself.”

Oh stars, he _was_ hurt. He was hurt because of you. And was he limping too? And why was he so close? Your breath got quicker with the building panic.

“Let me help you,” you swallowed, “please.”

You did not dare to meet his visor but when he nodded once and descended the ladder into the hull you followed him quietly. He did not say anything as you followed him into his little room.

As the lights switched on, your face grew hot. The last time you had been here everything had been different. It had been exciting and rare and new and so satisfying. Now, the circumstances were so much worse.

“Where are you hurt?”

“Shoulder,” he answered gruffly, “took a hard shot there, might have breached the armour.”

Paz sat down on his bunk with a groan, now openly showing the pain that he was enduring and you heart clenched painfully in your chest at the sound. It was a sign of trust that he let you see him like this, you knew that, but on the other hand, you wished that it had not been because of you. That he did not have to be injured in the first place.

You approached him cautiously. With him sitting and you standing, you were n the perfect height to access his shoulders. “Can I remove the armour?”

He nodded once and you got to work. The buckles and strings were difficult to understand and so it took longer than you would have liked. The big man beneath you winced when you had to pull on the pauldron too harshly and you could only breathe out a sorry, hoping that he would be fine.

His hand reached out to settled on your hip, gripping it tightly whenever the pain became too much and you could have cried at the thought of you being the one hurting him so.

But soon the armour was off his body and his chest was laid bare. Suddenly, the air seemed too thick to breathe. You knew that the Mandalorian armour was traditionally thick and thus that there would be less to him without it on but now it seemed like he was even bigger, stronger. As if his body was only now able to expand freely. The hard planes of muscles on his arms and neck flexed and you swallowed. His skin looked so soft …

The bruises scattering his torso were an angry mix of red, purple and dark. The harm came mostly from the armour catching the shots, though, and thankfully nothing bled too much. Still, it occurred to you that he had gotten the bruises because of you. Because he had protected you.

No one had ever taken a shot for you. No one had ever had to. But the more you thought about it, the more you doubted that there would be many people out there who would do what he had done for you.

“You should have said something,” you mumbled, cheeks warm, “It’s my fault you got hurt.”

“No, it’s not,” he denied calmly, “I never would have let anything happen to you. This was more than worth it.”

His words pierced your heart and you turned away under the pretence of searching for the bacta patches, trying to hide the tears stinging in your eyes. You spotted the patches on his nightstand. You looked back at him and from the look of his shoulder, you took the whole pack and some scissors with you.

Without saying anything in return you got to work on the smaller wounds first, sometimes cutting a patch in half to cover two smaller sized injuries. Whenever Paz hissed or flinched, you winced too. Each sound of his pain like a stab in your heart.

When you got to the biggest bruise, the one that worried you the most, you made sure to barely touch him. You attempted to spot where the wound was the deepest and where it would need the most care.

But Paz just would not stand still.

“Please, just –“, you put your hand to his chest to keep him from moving. He inhaled sharply, but not in pain, and you were shocked at how forward you had been. But you would not move your hand from his skin, not when he was this warm and soft under your fingertips. Not when it apparently pleased him.

“I’m sorry, mesh’la,” he apologized slowly as he tried to sit still.

Silently you continued to assess the wound, fingertips brushing over the skin while your hand on his chest rubbed patterns over his heart soothingly. Working like this took a lot longer but at least Paz only ever hummed in discomfort, nothing worse.

But the longer it went on, the more tired your feet and your eyes got and soon you shifted from one side to the other, trying to keep your focus. Squinting your eyes in the low light made them hurt and more than once did you blink to get your focus back, meticulously planning on where to put the patches to get the most coverage.

Paz was silent until he wasn’t.

“C’mon,” he murmured, his hand on you hip pushing you down.

You were confused for a second until you realized that he wanted you to sit in his lap, having noticed your dwindling concentration. Warmth spread across your cheeks to your ears but you followed his movements, settling sideways on his broad thigh. You had to move your arms to get a better look at the injury but it was better on your eyes and easier on your feet.

The bruise spread all the way from the top of his holder down towards his chest where the colours seemed to fade from dark blue to a yellowish-green. With the utmost care, you spread a patch on it, lightly pressing on the edges to make sure that it would stick.

Now having finished with the patches, none of you made a move to pull away from each other. You could feel the warmth of his skin through your shirt and it was the most you had ever seen of his body. His torso and his – his …

“Thank you,” his voice sounded sincere as he interrupted your thoughts, “you helped a lot.”

You nodded, your fingertips mindlessly grazing around the edges of the patch until they drifted across the planes of his chest.

“Where did you get this one?” you asked quietly, your fingertip following a jagged scar across his collarbone and down the right side of his chest. It looked like it had hurt a lot and healed even worse. Your heart ached knowing how much pain he must have endured because of it.

With a bite to your lip, you forced yourself to resist the urge to kiss the puckered skin. That would cross a line. That would be too much. He would not want that.

A warm hand came up to hold yours to his chest. You could feel his heart beat under your palm as his thumb brushed over your knuckles. Cool metal bumped against your forehead as he leant forward.

“One day I will tell you, I promise.”

*

The next morning, Cara was already out of her bunk when you were woken up by tiny pitter-patter on the floor.

You groaned while opening your eyes, forcing yourself to face the new day. You had slept horrible, of course, tossing and turning and feeling too cold and too warm at the same time until your eyes had closed for some restless sleep. You were not sure if it had been because you missed Paz’ body heat – which was pathetic considering that you had only ever once gotten the luxury of sleeping in his arms – or because of the events of the previous day.

Probably a horrible mixture of both.

But when a familiar small face appeared over the edge of the bunk, ears twitching happily, you greeted the child with a smile, your exhaustion forgotten. “Hey, buddy!”

Its ears perked up, happy that you were awake and available for cuddles which he demanded with a lilting coo. You happily obliged with a laugh and buried your face into the space between his ears. No matter how horrible your night had been, the little one would always be there to cheer everyone up.

Through the open door, you could hear some voices. You did not quite catch the words but it sounded heated. A full-blown discussion.

And if all three of them were involved, it was never a good sign.

Still clad in your sleeping clothes, you stepped out of the room. The need to know what was going on was too urgent for you to go through your usual morning routine. With a scarf wrapped around your shoulders against the cold and the child in your arms, you made your way to your friends.

The child was in a good mood apparently, happily babbling up at you or to himself as you grinned down at him until you arrived at the hull. Like you had suspected, Cara, Din and Paz were all there.

A holo map had been placed on a crate, projecting a map of the galaxy between them. Blue light reflected of the Mandalorians’ helmets and armour. Cara stood by the side, looking exhausted. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers and you furrowed your brows. If Din’s body language was anything to go by – and it usually way – this had not been a discussion of the light-hearted kind.

The child in your arms picked up on the mood as well, big ears wilting down.

“What is going on?” you asked, afraid to know the answer.

“We are being tracked,” Din grumbled. Silence followed. Then, he turned his back towards the map, cursing loudly, as if just the look of the star systems made him even more aggressive.

His words echoed in your head as you pulled the child closer to you. “Tracked?” you mumbled, “But – but _how_? They don’t have any of our chain codes or we would all be long gone by now.”

“Well,” Cara started hesitantly, “We think it might be you.”

You stared wide-eyed at her as fear gripped your heart.

Did they think that you were the one leading the troopers to the child? That you would betray them for a few credits from the former Empire? Did they think that of you? Could they even think that of you?

“Me? I would never -!” you rambled in a panic, “I would _never_ hurt him, I don’t –“

“We don’t mean that you betrayed us,” Din soothed you immediately with a heavy hand on your shoulder, “But we think they are using you to see where the child is next. You look after him, after all.”

Your heart fell and landed painfully somewhere on the bottom of your stomach. You felt physically sick. The little one was in danger … because of you? Would you have to leave them? Your heart clenched. You wanted the baby safe under all circumstances but the thought of leaving your friends terrified you.

You were not ready to start somewhere new all alone. You could not just say _Goodbye_ and never see them again. _You_ , your eyes darted to Paz who was standing stiffly in the corner, _you did not want to leave Paz_.

“What does that mean? Do I – Do I have to leave?” your voice sounded small even to your own ears and as you saw Cara’s guilty face there were tears collecting in your eyes. You did have to leave.

“Um, okay,” you took a deep breath, trying to seem as unaffected as possible, “That’s – that’s alright, I will just –“

“You will come with me,” it sounded from the corner and you looked up. Paz had straightened up now and taken a few steps towards you. He was practically towering over you, with his hands on his belt and you would have felt threatened if it had not been for the fact that this was Paz. And if there was one thing you knew it was that he would never hurt you.

“You did not think we would just leave you somewhere, right?” Din sounded worried and you shrugged your shoulder, a little embarrassed that you had assumed the worst.

“We will hyperjump to Nevarro. That’s where Paz has stored his ship,” Cara explained, “We will separate, do a few missions on our own, making sure to lose track of the people following us and, in a few weeks, we will rendezvous on Nevarro again.”

You were so happy you could have hugged her. You could have hugged all of them. Instead, you hugged the child closer to your chest who squeaked in surprise and excitement, three-fingered hands playing with the end of your hair.

You did not have to leave your friends – your family. At least not permanently.

“Will you be comfortable with the arrangement?” Paz asked you, pulling you out of your thoughts, “If you’re not, we will find a different solution.”

“It is fine Paz,” you softly interject, “Unless – well, unless you don’t ...?”

With three quicks steps, he was in front of you. His hands fell to your shoulders as he fixed you with a gaze so strong you felt it through his visor.

“I will keep you safe,” he rushed out, promised you. His thumbs spread almost all the way to the bottom of your throat and you swallowed at how massive he was. “I promise I will keep you safe.”

You nodded slowly, looking up at him as if searching for the truth in the eyes that you would never get to see. You remembered how tenderly he had held your hands to his chest, how he had let you sleep in his bed, how he had called you beautiful.

No, a road trip through space with just you and Paz did not sound so bad at all.

Cara clapped her hands together, effectively breaking the moment between you and Paz. “Well now that that’s decided, let's get going”, she decided, “The sooner we establish this plan, the sooner we can all be together.”

The child answered with some chirps. You could tell that the general atmosphere excited him and smile down at him in your arms. Paz had not moved and was still standing in front of you, his visor now tilted down to look at the child.

With one hand falling down to your waist, his other patted the child’s head and at that moment, you knew everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	3. First Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road trip starts off and already on the first stop, there is an incident or two … 
> 
> Warnings: yearning, both Paz and reader are insecure af, inappropriate comments about the reader from another person, nipple play, heavy petting (?), dirty talk, fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How excited I am from a scale from 1 -10? 12! This is one of those things I had a daydream about and it would not leave my head. It is absolutely self-indulgent, it does not need to make sense anywhere else other than in my yearning heart and hopelessly romantic brain. This is where things first start to heat up, the next few parts will get more and more spicy (and fluffy) so brace yourselves. As always: Let me know what you think!

Once it had been decided, everything had happened so quickly.

Din had typed in the coordinates to Nevarro and Cara had started helping you pack your things. It felt weird, ridding the room that you had called your own, at least partially, of any traces of your belongings. As if you had never been here in the first place.

“I hope you know this does not mean that we think that this is your fault,” she said, handing you a bunch of your clothes. You nodded silently, too nervous to speak.

“What is it?” she asked you, knowing you too well and being too worried to let it go.

“It’s just … I will be alone with Paz,” you admitted.

Cara sighed. “I honestly don’t know what to tell you other than to talk to him. Paz likes you, if he didn’t you would have noticed it by now.”

“Yes, but – but what if he feels like he has to do it?” you voiced your fear, “For Din or the child? What if by accepting the offer I forced him into something he didn’t want at all?”

Cara chuckled, “You really _do_ worry too much. Would it help you if I told you that it was Paz’ idea to take you away?”

“It was?”

Cara scoffed. “Of course, he would do everything to keep you safe. Look, I don’t know what you guys talked about that night,” you mumbled, thinking that there actually hadn’t been any really productive talking happening with his cock in your mouth, “But you are important to him, more than you know. And I sincerely doubt that he would offer to take you with him if he did not want to do it.”

The thought that it had been his idea made you feel another kind of warm entirely. He had suggested to take you on his travels, not Din or Cara. _Him_. And after what had happened between the two of you, you decided to take it as a good sign.

You could not help the little smile that formed on your lips and you ducked your head to pack up your things – and prevent Cara from seeing the lovestruck look on your face. Could you be any more obvious than a schoolgirl with her first crush?

When everything was finished, your little bag was packed full and you and Cara’s room devoid of any signs of personality.

“You really need to do some decorating ’round here,” you teased her and the dark-haired woman laughed.

*

In the hull, Din was waiting for you with the child in his arms. Paz was standing next to him with a pack at his feet and an assortment of weapons on his form. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, making him seem even bulkier than usual.

“You ready?” Din asked and you nodded quickly, willing your emotions down. This was just temporary after all. You would see them again.

Saying goodbye to the baby was harder than you thought it would be. The child was in your arms, cooing up at you and wanting cuddles. He probably knew that you would not see each other for quite a while, his sixth sense warning him of the change. He slung his little arms around your neck even tighter, a small whimper escaping him and you could feel silent tears rolling down your cheeks.

“It’ll be alright, little one,” you tried to calm him, “Your daddy will take great care of you and Paz will take great care of me. We will see each other sooner than you think.”

Big eyes looked up at you sceptically as his ears wilted down. You felt your lips starting to tremble. To think that you were the one who had put him in danger …

Paz approached you slowly. “Let me, mesh’la?”

You nodded and handed him the baby. You watched as he held the child up in front of his face, gently bumping his beskar forehead against the small green one, words of Mando’a flowing through the filter.

Din stepped in front of you, his shoulders were tense as his hand on fell on your arm. “We will see each other again soon. Stay safe and make sure Paz doesn’t do any dumb shit without me around.”

You smiled at his jab against his friend and nodded, quickly wiping your tears away as you pulled the bounty hunter into a hug. “I will miss you too, Din.”

When it was Cara’s turn to hug you, you felt your throat closing up again. The dark-haired woman gifted you with a sad smile as she wrapped her arms around you. “Don’t overthink too much,” she said quietly, so only you could hear, “Paz likes you and he will do whatever is necessary to get you back to us safely, don’t ever doubt that.”

You nodded and before you could think of anything else to say, you and Paz were walking down the ramp of the Razor Crest, turning your back to the people you had called family for the last few months.

When your feet were safely on the planet’s ground, you heard the ramp creak behind you. You forced yourself to not turn around, not to see how the Crest closed off behind you but when you heard the engines start up again you could not hold back a sob.

That was the home you had known for the last few months flying away from you because you were the one that had gotten the child in trouble. And now you were faced with your own feelings for Paz which, you were sure, were absolutely unrequited. Why couldn’t you catch a break?

Paz next to you was incredibly stiff and you barely talked – actually you did not talk, _at all_ – on the way to his ship. As the huge hunk of metal ( _massive, just like him_ , you thought) came into view, you swallowed back your fear and opened your mouth.

“Does it have a name?”

“Yes.”

He did not offer any more and your shoulders sagged in defeat.

So much for this being a good sign.

*

Paz hated himself.

How foolish had he been, thinking that you were coming with him out of your own free will? What kind of lovesick imagination had ridden him to believe that you _wanted_ any of this?

The tears in your eyes when you had to leave was what grounded him again. He had been wrong.

And now you were stuck with him on a journey you did not even want to be on. The way your shoulders had deflated when you saw the Crest leave for the atmosphere had sent a pang through his heart. It made him all the more aware that you did this because you wanted to protect the child and not because you wanted to spend more time with him.

And it was not like he did not want to protect the child – he _did_. A foundling was precious to the tribe and this particular foundling was already precious to him personally. But he – he wanted to have you close now.

After that night, all he could think about was your lips around him, looking eagerly up at him through your lashes, your eyes glinting in the low light and being so kriffing _eager_ to please him.

He had thought that he was your friend. That he would be able to get over it, over his now undeniable feelings of affection for you. But he had failed when he had gathered you up in his arms to sleep and he had failed when he had thrown himself carelessly between you and the blaster fire rushing your way.

And he failed again when just the mere thought of your mouth made him twitch in his pants.

It was frustrating, having to deal with near-constant waves of arousal like a teenage boy. Sex and sexual activities were nothing new to him anymore and they should not be able to throw him in a loop like that. But those were not the things affecting him.

You were.

 _You_ were the one throwing him in a loop with the smiles you sent his way, with your hands on his chest with the worry in your eyes when you looked at his scars and the sheer trust that you had put in him when you fell to your knees between his legs. And now all he could think about in the dark were the things he wanted to do to you if you would just let him.

He wanted to show you what it was like with a lover who was invested in taking their time and making you feel good. Not demanding a blowjob. He wanted you to feel loved and cared for and confident. He wanted to know what you looked like when he was the one bringing you to the edge over and over again.

Then again, what had happened that night had just been a favour. A favour between friends, if anything.

Clearly, you did not see it as anything more than that.

And so, when he had settled in his cockpit, checking if everything was still working as it should, the silence had ensued. Even after everything he had told you, confessed to you, you were too intimated to talk to him and it hurt him more than he was ready to admit.

“We are going to visit a friend to pick up some supplies,” he explained as he typed in the coordinates of their first destination. It would be a short flight, nothing too strenuous for the first day of your journey. You nodded silently, your face turning this and that way as you took in the room and his ship in with curious eyes.

It made him nervous even though it should not.

His ship was smaller than the Crest, although a bit more modern. But he wanted you to feel comfortable here. He wanted you to like it – _to feel at home._ You had found your way to the co-captain’s chair almost naturally and seeing you sitting on it, your scarf around your shoulders, knees up to your chest, while you snuggled into the fabric, made him feel … happy.

Without another word, he set the course for Tatooine.

*

Tomax lived with his wife and brother in the very rural parts of Tatooine. So far off Mos Eisley that it enabled him to simply land the ship on a free patch of desert and be done with it. As the soft _thud_ went through the ship upon contact with the ground, Paz sighed.

His gaze swept over to you.

You had fallen asleep almost as soon as you had left the atmosphere and slept through the flight without any disturbances and he was thankful for it. The quiet allowed him to straighten out his thoughts and emotions and to sneak the occasional glance at you. All curled up on the seat with your scarf as an improvised blanket and your chest rising calmly, you had been the embodiment of peaceful. And even though he had spent hours trying to rationalize his thoughts, as soon as your eyes blinked open and an imperceptible smile came on your mouth when you saw him, any rationality was thrown overboard.

He liked you.

Maker help him, _he liked you_.

Of course, he did not say it. Not when you were still so intimidated by him. He needed to woo you first, show you that he was a good match, a good choice.

Wordlessly, he led you down the ramp and watched as your face lit up at the dry desert heat. He grinned. His suspicion that you came from one of the warmer planets seemingly confirmed.

“Where are we?” you asked him with a quiet voice and he could have fist-pumped the air at how open your voice sounded.

“Tatooine,” he replied, “There are Mandalorians all over the galaxy. The one that lives here used to be a brother in arms of mine. He will have some supplies ready and point us to more.”

“Couldn’t we just buy some?”

“Yes, if we would be only buying supplies for us. But we are also getting some for the tribe.”

He could sense that you wanted to ask more, know more, but at that moment you arrived at the door to Tomax’ home and the time for conversation was over. The complex Tomax lived in was typical for Tatooine, whitewashed walls and domed roofs for underground rooms.

Paz knocked the pattern that he and Tomax had agreed to and as he waited he swore he felt you shift closer to him. Were you nervous?

A pink Twi’lek opened the door with a baby on her hip. As soon as she spotted him, she smiled. “Paz, it is good to see you,” she greeted him, “Come on in, Tomax has been expecting you.”

“Kea,” he nodded and tried to cover his surprise at the baby before him. It was evidently her and Tomax’ child and considering how they had never been able to keep their hands off each other it had only been a matter of time before their union would come to fruition. But still. He had not been prepared to be faced with another foundling.

He followed Kea down the stairs to the spacious living space. You were shortly behind him. He could practically feel the tension radiating off you and when you arrived at the bottom of the steps, he reached out a hand on your lower back to calm you. Or trying to, anyway.

Tomax and his brother, Dreks, were sitting at a round table, clad in their Mandalorian armour. Their helmets rested on the table between them. Paz did not have to look at you to see how you froze in your movements, eyes zeroing in on their faces and the helmets, then shooting up to him. The confusion was clear.

“Paz,” Tomax stood and pulled him into a one-armed hug, “never thought I would see you again this quickly, and with such beautiful company at that.”

His friend looked at you with kind eyes which seemed to be enough for you to politely greet him in return. Paz stood proudly by your side, seeing you warm up to his friend and taking everything in. You felt comfortable, at last, and that was what mattered.

“It is good to see you too,” Paz replied, finally, and nodded to Dreks before motioning to Kea and the little one, “I did not know you would have a foundling so soon.”

As if he had flicked a switch, Tomax’ face lit up at the mention of the kid, pure happiness written on his features. “I did not know either,” he joked, “But you won’t hear me complainin’, she’s a true ray of true sunshine.”

As if knowing that they were talking about her, the baby cooed and giggled, getting the attention of all the adults in the room. You smiled next to him and the tiny baby grinned at you, exposing tiny fangs. Kea laughed, “She seems to like you, want to hold her?”

Your eyes were full of happiness and you nodded quickly. Tomax motioned for Paz to join him and Dreks at the table and he only reluctantly left you side, his eyes still trained on you. Kea handed you the child gently who seemed to take a liking to you immediately.

“She has a way with kids,” he commented to Tomax who was sitting at the round table gazing proudly at his family, “You should see her with Din’s foundling, she is a natural.”

His friend nodded knowingly, “Practicing, are we?”

_She would make a wonderful mother without any practice._

Paz paused. Where had _that_ come from?

But when he saw you gently rocking the tiny baby in your arms, his body stiffened. Would you look like that too when you held your children, _his_ children?

“No,” he forced himself to reply, all too aware of the mirth in Tomax eyes as his friend regarded him.

“Well, if you’re not claiming her, _I_ gladly will,” Dreks stated, his eyebrows raised, “With that body –“

Kea set down two cups of caf forcefully, the liquid threatening to splash on the table. She shot a warning look to her brother-in-law, apparently knowing whatever he was going to say would be in poor taste.

“Now is not the time, brother,” Tomax said, glancing apologetically to Paz whose fist was clenched on his thigh.

He wanted nothing more than to punch that sickly-sweet grin off Dreks’ face. What gave that utreekov the idea that he would even deserve being with you? That you were interested in him?

But he reigned himself in, no wanting to start a fight in his friend’s home. Tomax continued the conversation carefully and Paz was grateful for it. They discussed the number of supplies they would need, where the tribe had founded the new covert and how they would get the amount that was still missing.

Dreks just lounged next to them, his eyes never leaving you. Paz did not like the way Dreks eyed you. He did not like him in general but this certainly did not make it better.

Then again, Paz could hardly keep his eyes off you either. You were just holding the baby in your arms, rocking her to sleep. You were so sure of yourself when it came to children and it made his heart beat faster just a smidge. Either you had a magical sixth sense or his starting had been too intense because you looked up from the child and directly at him, a small smile forming on your lips.

And beneath his helmet, Paz could not help his lips tugging up in response.

Kriff, he really was done for.

He continued talking to Tomax, making sure that his staring did not become too obvious when you suddenly cried out in pain.

Before he knew what he was doing, Paz was by your side, hand on his blaster as he looked at the upper windows. Could they have tracked you down this quickly? Had they shot you? Kriff, how would he be able to care for you –

Kea walked past him, her focus on the child in your arms as she picked her daughter up. “Oh, my stars I am so sorry,” Kea went to apologize. “She cannot differentiate between me and others very well yet. She probably thought you might be food, I am so sorry. Would you like some bacta cream?”

Paz stood there, dumbfounded.

What did she mean, you were _food_? Twi’leks were not cannibals, not as far as he knew and certainly not children.

But when he spotted the tears in your eyes and the way you immediately crossed your arms protectively over your chest, it dawned on him. The baby had bitten you. And from the looks of it quite harshly too; on a place that generally seemed to be very sensitive as well. He was glad for the helmet hiding his embarrassment as he fully realized that the baby thought you would be able to give milk.

“What wouldn’t I give to sink my teeth into that kinda flesh, huh?” Dreks joked from his place at the table. Paz could see you wince at the words, or maybe at the pain, but he was fuming in anger all the same. Enough was enough. He shifted to stand between you and Drek’s gaze, throwing a warning glance over his shoulder as his hand drifted to his blaster at his hip.

At least Tomax seemed to understand and reeled his brother back in.

“Come on, I will show you to the refresher,” Kea motioned for you to follow her which you did. You looked up at Paz’ visor first and he wanted nothing more than to wrap you up and take you back to the ship. This was only the first stop on your journey and already something was going wrong like this?

You would think him the most incapable Mandalorian there ever was. He had promised to protect you, for star’s sake.

But he returned to the table alone, at least satisfied with the knowledge that Kea would give you the medication you needed.

“She is pretty,” Tomax stated carefully, “Since when is she travelling with you?”

“Few weeks.”

“And since when is she your riduur?”

“She is not.”

“Well then, when _will_ she be?”

Paz refused to answer, instead choosing to look at Tomax stoically, not giving his friends any more openings for questions he was not ready to answer.

“I have known you for decades, Paz,” his friend argued, “And never have I seen you as protective as with her. That has to mean something.”

And it did. But he did not want to talk about that now. Not when he saw Kea return with the baby in her arms but without you.

“I’m going to check on her.”

He knew Tomax’ house well enough to find the refresher on his own. It was down a long and dark hallway, cool and dark as opposed to the bright desert heat above, and it did not take him long to arrive at the closed doors of the guest refresher. He knocked.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,” he answered gruffly, “just wanted to check in, are you alright? Can I come in?”

“Come in,” you replied and he pressed the panel for the door to swish open. As soon as he entered he carefully closed the door behind him before looking up, wanting to give you time to cover up.

He almost choked on the very air he was breathing when he saw your shirt all the way unbuttoned and your right breast completely exposed. You looked at him with such an expectant gaze, it made his chest hurt. Kriff, you were beautiful.

“I just uh, wanted to see if you were alright? Can I do something to help?”

His voice sounded hoarse, even through the vocoder, and he cleared his throat. The last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable. But here you were, not making a single move to cover up as if it did not even occur to you that that was an option.

There was that kind of look in your eyes, though, so you seemed to be aware of how his gaze lingered on your newly exposed skin a little too long. Your eyes were still moist and shiny from the unspilled tears and he had the sudden urge to hug you. He could not stand seeing you in pain.

“Actually, you can,” you mumbled, “I can’t reach the spot with the cream, it stretches the skin and it _hurts_. Could - could you maybe …?”

His eyes fell to the open jar in your hands and he swallowed. This was a way to help you, he tried to remind himself. You did not actually want him touching you like this. You just needed his help.

He nodded mutely and took off his gloves, placing them on the counter.

You were standing in front of him, your back pressed against the counter in the tiny space. He had to crane his neck down at you and already with the weight of the helmet he knew it would get uncomfortable for you.

And so, his hands hovered above your waist as he asked, “Do you mind if I-?”

When you nodded for him to go ahead he grasped your waist and lifted you onto the countertop. It gave him easier access and a better view in the dim light. And you did not have to hurt your neck when looking up at him.

Paz made sure to stand between you and the door, in an attempt to shield you, should anything happen. But then it occurred to him that it might seem as if he was caging you in, preventing you from leaving and he cursed himself. Why could he not do things right with you? It was as if any ability to think rationally just left him as soon as your eyes met his.

You did not seem to share that thought.

Instead, you opened your legs for him to step in between, enabling him to get even closer and he tried to ignore the way his cock twitched at the thought of taking you like this in the refresher at home. Just slipping right inside you with your legs hiked upon his hips and your breath panting on his neck.

You leant back on your hands drawing his gaze to your chest and he willed himself to calm down. He blindly reached for the bacta cream and dipped two fingers inside, making sure to get a good amount.

The bite mark was right in the flesh of your breast, little red dots where the fangs had broken your skin. There was a drop of blood collecting at the surface and he shuddered at the thought of how painful it must have been for you. The skin around the tiny wounds was already swollen and he made soothing noise in the back of his throat.

Gently, he started lathering the cream onto your skin which was followed by an immediate sigh of relief from you. Encouraged by the fact that he did not hurt you, he spread the cream around the wound, making sure to cover everything and the skin around it. He did not want to hurt you more than necessary but he also wanted to make sure that there was no chance of infection.

He tried to remember if he had any bacta patches back on the ship. If not, he needed to get some.

Absentmindedly, Paz continued the movements of his fingers and you hummed. You rested your forehead against his shoulder pauldron, your own shoulders sagging with relief. His heart beat quicker at the way you leant into his touch. Was it because he was helping you or maybe because – because you liked him touching you?

“Better?” he asked in a murmur as his fingers continued to massage the cream into the soft swell of your breast. He was doing this to help you, he reminded himself, he was doing this because you had asked him to and because you had needed help and – maker, were you _soft_.

You nodded your head against him and Paz could have sworn that you shuffled closer to him, pressing your face just a little closer to the cowl around his throat. But it was just wishful imagination on his part. There was nothing intimate about this.

He took that thought back as you resumed to sit in silence with his fingers still massaging the cream into your skin. His head was filled with thoughts of how he would be able to start a conversation without sounding like an absolute creep.

He did not quite know how it happened but his ministrations had grown wider and before he knew any better, the pad of his thumb had brushed over your nipple. It was like falling headfirst into a shocker. Or being frozen in carbonite like Din’s bounties.

Immediately his hand froze, kriff, his whole _body_ froze in shock at what he had done. He had touched you without your permission, something so intimate, something so sacred and he had done it without your permission. You had put your trust in him and he had betrayed it.

Paz’ brain tried hard to catch up with his thoughts. Somewhere in his mind, a voice screamed at him to just apologize. Things like this could happen. _Apologize and move on._ And there was nothing he wanted to more than apologize. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg for your forgiveness at your feet, hoping that you would still be able to look into his eyes afterwards.

But instead of screaming at him, of slapping him and cursing him to the stars, your back arched.

And the flesh under his thumb pebbled.

Fascinated he looked down at where his hand touched you, wanting to make sure that this was real. That he was not imagining things like he did when he lay awake at night in his bunk. But it was very real and by the maker, you looked perfect. Your head was still settled on his chest but now your chin rested on his chest plate as you looked up at him through your lashes.

“Again … please.”

Your voice was breathy, barely there in the room, but between the two of you, it was like you had screamed.

Hesitantly, he repeated the motion, feeling how your flesh moved under his hands. This time he watched intently as your eyes fluttered closed and your mouth opened in a gasp. You buried your face in the crook of his neck and he did it again. When he drew a circle around your nipple flicking the nub with his thumbnail you kriffing mewled as if no one had ever done this to your before.

And maybe no one ever had.

Kriff, did bacta have some conscious changing qualities? He could not for the life of him remember ever having heard something like that which meant that there was a high chance that you were sober and conscious and aware of what was happening. And that you _wanted_ this.

When you lifted your head to look at him, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip and your irises blown wide, Paz felt himself grow harder in his pants. He swallowed harshly, hanging onto every gasp, every move you made towards him in response to how he was touching you.

“I think –“ you swallowed, clearly trying to gather your thoughts, “I want –“

“What?” he growled, tugging at your flesh and your eyes fluttered closed, “What do you want, mesh’la? What do you need?”

“I think you should check the other one, too. In case –“

You could not finish the sentence before he had set the jar down with a clank and raised his second hand to envelop your other breast. Without any hesitation, he brushed his thumb over the other nipple and your gasp was like an echo around the small room, lips tugging up into a barely-there smile.

Kriff, why were you so soft?

Paz was absolutely mesmerized by the view you offered him. How you arched into his hands, into _him_ , your head was thrown back, baring your throat to him. The trust you put into him at that moment made him feel hot, how you just let him touch you like that, how you _wanted_ him to.

Paz could not help himself. He really couldn’t.

He tweaked the left nipple between his fingers and the breathless “Paz” that escaped you was like music to his ears.

“You like that?” he asked, his voice barely recognizable, even to him. You looked at him again, cheeks flushed, eyes wide, biting your lip as if you yourself could not quite believe that this happening. He had never wanted to kiss anyone so badly in his life. The pure bliss on your face was intoxicating and _he_ was the one who put it there. Not some random guy at a bar.

“Uh-huh,” you nodded.

He stepped closer to you, crowding you in, towering over you without feeling bad about it. He felt your legs tentatively touching his hip, spreading even more to accommodate his figure and he rewarded you with a roll of his fingers around your flesh, lightly tugging at it. You kept looking at him although sometimes your eyelids fluttered but then you opened them again, looking absolutely dazed. You made the effort to look at him and he was never more grateful for it. He wanted you to look at him. He _needed_ to see what he did to you and what you liked.

And according to your gasps, you did like whatever he was doing to you. Sitting on the very edge of the counter, with your breasts being lavished with the attention they deserved, you looked like an absolute vision to him and he wished he could tell you that. Wished he could make you see just how beautiful you were to him.

Your legs twitched at his side when he pinched a nipple particularly hard, ankles locking at his back and pulling him closer. That was when he ground into you, his codpiece rubbing between your legs and this time you could not seem to fight the way your eyes drifted closed in pleasure.

At that moment he cursed whatever entity there was for having to wear a helmet. He wanted nothing more than to mouth at your skin, kiss you, suck your tits into his mouth and _bite_. Pleasure you so much you forgot about the pain.

Your head fell to his chest plate, whining as you ground against him this time, searching for that friction and he was so close, he’d do anything for you. “Don’t stop,” you whispered, breath fogging his armour and the way you just slumped into him made his chest ache.

“Never,” he promised, tugging on your nipples, grinning at the way your whole body shuddered, “I will never stop, mesh’la, not until you beg me to.”

“Paz, I –“

“Why are you taking this long?” Dreks burst into the room all loud and rude and not even knocking. You flinched in Paz’ arms, this time not from pleasure but from fright, desperately trying to cover yourself. Paz who had been standing in front of you anyway, pressed you to his chest, effectively engulfing in his arms making sure that you could not be seen from the other side.

“Are you blind?” he hissed towards, “Get the kriff out of here!”

“Oh man sorry just, man … sorry,“ Dreks offered lamely, his hands up in surrender and eyes wide in fright, as he backed out of the room.

Paz’ chest still heaved when he turned his face back to you. “You alright?” he murmured, hands sweeping over your back. Carefully, he brushed some hair out of your face. You were still clutching at him, only slowly loosening the grip of your hands. He wanted you back immediately, his hands flexing on your back but he willed himself to remain still and let you detangle your bodies.

You nodded reluctantly, avoiding to look at his visor. It was clear that you were embarrassed although Paz wanted to reassure you that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing about the way you had expressed your pleasure was embarrassing, not the way you had leant into his touch, not the way you had gasped his name and certainly not the way you had ground into him.

But he did not say any of those things when he watched you fumble with the buttons on your shirt. “Let me,” he asked quietly and went to button up your shirt, fingertips caressing your skin, “I –

“I liked it,” you interrupted him, still avoiding his visor but sounding determined, “Maybe next time it won’t be somewhere where Dreks can interrupt us?”

His heart stopped.

You seemed to do that a lot lately.

The words took half an eternity to be processed in his brain. He simply could not believe that you – you who seemed so far out of reach – would say something like that. But as you looked up at him and he saw the truth of your and he just wanted to scoop you up and take you back to the ship.

“Next time,” he agreed, offering you his hand to help you down the counter. You accepted it with a small smile. He put his gloves back on, still feeling your skin underneath his fingertips, longing to touch you again.

By the time you had arrived back in the living room, his hand had found its way to the small of your back and remained there, unmoving. Kea looked at you knowingly, taking in his hands on your body and the way you avoided looking at them.

Paz grew with pride when, in response, you shuffled closer to him, still.

“Does it still hurt?” the Twi’lek asked you.

“No,” you replied, “Thank you for the bacta it worked like magic.”

Tomax grinned and winked Paz. “Well, then let’s get down to business, why don’t we?”

*

You watched as Tomax and Paz talked in Mando’a.

Sometimes Dreks even joined in, although it was clear from his body language and tone of voice that Paz was not at all friendly towards Tomax’ brother.

You remembered how he had cursed at Dreks in the refresher. How he had shielded your body from his prying eyes and made Dreks leave with nothing but the fury in his voice.

The arousal had been frozen in your blood at that moment but now that you saw him in his element it slowly simmered back to life. He was just so strong, so incredibly sure of himself. The chair he was sitting on seemed tiny with the way he was sprawled on it and there was nothing you wanted to do more than straddle him and see how he would react.

But you would not do that. There were other people around and you also did not have the desire to open yourself up for his rejection.

When a few crates full of supplies were laden onto the ship and the coordinates for the next supply run were determined, it was time to say your goodbyes. You did not like the fact that you had to say farewell twice in one day but at least these people were not as emotionally important to you as your family on the Crest.

Kea hugged you, a friendly smile on her face. You returned the gesture when Paz appeared next to you, his arm coming around your waist almost naturally and Kea winked at you as if she knew exactly what was going on.

Which was impossible because you did not even know it.

*

Back on the ship, Paz punched in the coordinates. You stood by the door as he explained to you that the flight would be a longer one now, taking up half a sleep cycle at least. The thought was not too bad. You would be able to go to sleep and when you woke up, most of the flight would hopefully be behind you.

When you turned, ready to leave for your own room, Paz’ voice halted you.

“You ever had your nipples played with before?”

You turned around sharply, ears hot as you slowly shook your head.

“Do you _want_ your nipples played with?”

As if it was even possible your embarrassment only grew. And you did not even know why.

It was not like you and Paz had never done anything. You had sucked him off for stars’ sake. And the things he had just done in the refresher certainly were not so innocent either. He had played with your breasts, had teased them like you had only ever read and dreamt about.

So why did it make you so nervous to talk about this with him? With anyone?

(It was because he left you after that night. Because nothing else had happened and you needed to face the fact that he did not like you like you liked him. Fine. That was _fine_.)

But the thought of having done that to you again makes you tingle all over. Especially when he was the one doing it.

You nodded, reluctantly at first and then you grew surer of yourself. Without saying anything, your throat too dry to speak, you walked towards him and ended up standing between his knees.

He was sitting on the pilot’s chair, lounging, really, with his legs spread wide. Seeing him sitting there like this – like he had done at Tomax’, so in control and casual and confident – gave you the sudden urge to get onto your knees for him again. To suck him off and make him lose his voice and control like last time. To have his hand buried in your hair while he praised you with a rough voice.

Your eyes lingered on the codpiece as you bit your lip but you did not say anything.

You did not want to scare him away.

“C’mon,” he said and patted his legs.

You shifted on your feet before taking a step even closer to him. Immediately, his hands found their way to your hips and he guided you _down down down_ until you sat on his lips, legs on either side of his body, straddling him. You had always known that he was big (and now you knew for sure that that size applied to _all_ of him) but with straddling him, you noticed just of broad he was. His whole body was just massive.

Being spread so wide made your legs tense, not being used to sitting like this. But nothing in the galaxy could have convinced you to part from him at that moment.

With your back to the windows and the dashboard of the cockpit, all you could see were his chest, his visor and the darkness of the room behind him. The lights were out and you wondered if it was something he always did, having the advantage of built-in night vision. The only light in the room you could see were the stars reflecting on the black of his visor as you looked up at him.

He was beautiful.

Being enveloped in the darkness and in him made you feel vulnerable somehow. But not in a threatening way. In a cosy way. Like a blanket fort, the kind you built as kids. He was your blanket fort.

He tilted his head questioningly down at you as if he was sensing your rapid thought process. His hands on your hips wandered under your shirt up to your waist and you shuddered at how cold the air and leather was.

Seeing your reaction, he immediately stopped. “Kriff, I forgot,” he cursed and ripped his gloves off, throwing them somewhere into the dark. You heard them land somewhere behind you with a soft _thud_ but soon you were distracted by his warm hands on your skin.

Another shudder ran through your body at the touch, this time a shudder of the good kind. Slowly, he rubbed his fingers along your skin, letting you get used to his touch. You smiled at how caring he was, making sure that you were comfortable. But you also could not help but feel that maybe – just maybe – he was savouring it, touching you. And it made you giddy because you were savouring it too. You were relishing in this skin-to-skin contact that was so unexpected and yet so welcomed.

His hands wandered up your body to your shoulders, your shirt bunching up around his wrists. He did not have to say anything for you to raise your arms, enabling him to take the piece of clothing off. The fabric landed somewhere to the side, next to the gloves, but you did not really care. You were sitting in Paz’ lap, your chest completely bare for him to see and explore. These were the more important things to focus on.

You were sure that the bruise from this morning was still there, although it did not hurt anymore, the cream having done its job. The only thing you felt was the cold air on your sensitive skin, making your nipples harden and you flushed in embarrassment. He had not even touched you yet and here you were, all excited as could be.

You forced yourself not to cover your breasts and looked at his visor instead. Surely, faking all this self-confidence would trick your brain into assuming that you actually _were_ confident. Right?

His visor did not move, his gaze fixated on your chest, and your heart skipped a beat as you saw his throat move with a hard swallow. One hand ghosted over your flesh as if he was testing that it was not a holo projection but real and right there.

“Mesmerizing,” he praised you and you felt your skin heating up at his words.

His hand closed around your flesh, squeezing your breast experimentally. You were too nervous to really register the movement. It was almost underwhelming as the thoughts in your mind kept racing around. What if it was not as good as before? What if he did not like it? What if you did not like it? How would your friendship be able to recover from this if something went wrong?

“Hey, are you alright, mesh’la?” his hand disappeared from your skin and his visor shot up at you. You could feel his critical stare as he distanced himself from you. “We don’t have to do this, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. You can say no.”

“No, I mean _yes_ – I just, I’m nervous, I guess,” you admitted quietly, too afraid to meet his eyes. Paz shifted in his seat, straightening up so his head was almost on the same height as yours and your torso completely pressing against his chest plate.

“No need to be nervous, I just want to make you feel good, okay? You want to do it together?”

You nodded quickly, relieved that he seemed to take the lead and gave you options.

His warm hand closed around yours, guiding it to your right breast. “Can you show me what you want me to do? And if you want to stop, you tell me immediately, alright, mesh’la?”

Hesitantly you tested the weight of your breast in your own hand. It was not like you had never touched yourself before, quite the opposite actually. But now that you felt Paz’ eyes on you, you started to feel insecure. What if he did not like it? If he found you unattractive?

He seemed to note your hesitation and, as always, how to reassure you. His hand was on the other side of your chest and as he started lightly brushing over your nipple, it was like your whole body went into overdrive. As if you had experienced a small electric shock. Tingly, somehow. You gasped and he did it again with a chuckle.

“This is all about you,” he reminded you gently.

The honesty in his voice made you take a deep breath and gather the courage. You started moving your fingertips over your own breast, squeezing and pulling and Paz repeated the motion without a hitch on the other one. It was an unspoken game of call and response and it was even better than in the cramped space of the refresher.

You allowed yourself to close your eyes and lean your head back just a little, just to arch into his touch and your own.

Your own thumbnail caught on the pebbled nub and you gasped, surprised at how the little bit of pain seemed to enhance the pleasure. Slowly, you raked your nail over it again, a quiet moan escaping you. Paz repeated the motion almost eagerly and you felt him harden underneath you. Yet he did not make even one move to grind up into you.

Instead, he gently pushed your hand away from your breast cupping both of them in his hands. “These are perfect, mesh’la,” he murmured reverently and your body thrummed at his praise, “a perfect handful.”

Enraptured, you watched as his thumbs flicked over your nipples at the same time. Your breath as coming in heavy now and you just wanted more, more of his touches, more of his voice, more of all of this.

“They are just _begging_ to be sucked,” he grunted, pulling on them, and the feeling that coursed through your body was unreal, “too bad it’s so light outside or else I’d have my mouth on you at all times.”

“People do that?”

“Sure, suck, bite, lick,” he tweaked them and you threw your head back, “There are so many things I would do to make you gasp like that.”

“You are so warm,” he continued quietly, his forehead pressing against yours as he caressed your skin, “So soft and warm. Never thought I’d be able to touch you like this.”

“ _You_ are warm,” you replied in a murmur, eyes closing and only hearing half the things he was saying – too busy enjoying his touches. It was arousing, yes, but it did not drive you crazy. It was like you were floating on a cloud of pleasure, just basking in it like a loth cat in the sun. “So warm and comfortable,” you babbled on, slightly pushing your head against the cool metal of his helmet before moving into the crook of his neck.

When his hands left you suddenly, you whined. “Don’t stop yet,” you pouted, “I liked it.”

The way Paz chuckled underneath you made his chest vibrate against yours, moving both of your bodies. Still, he kept pushing you away, until you were sitting on his knees and no longer his lap. “Just let me get out of this,” he assured you, the mirth in his voice clear.

The pout did not disappear but you nodded and with hooded eyes watched as he unbuckled and unstrapped the countless parts of his armour until he was shirtless. Never would you have thought that you would be able to see him undressed again so quickly but you were certainly not complaining. Especially with the pure body heat that was radiating off him.

Stars, you would never be able to forget how warm he was.

“Come back here,” his hands grasped your hips again, much gentler this time, and pulled you as close to him as possible. You hummed as his hands wandered up to the sides of your breasts again, slightly squeezing the flesh. Having lost any inhibitions, you leant forward and nuzzled your nose into his neck, letting the scruff tickle your skin until you pressed the lightest of kisses just underneath his helmet.

The silence between the two of you was nice and comfortable and as his touches continued, you grew more and more tired. He seemed to notice it too because his hands wandered from your chest to your back, gently rubbing the skin, making goosebumps appear from the tender touch. “You warm enough, mesh’la?”

You hummed against his skin, your lips touching his neck, and snuggled closer to him, “Never been better.”

With your eyes closed and the helmet in the way, you could not see how Paz smiled fondly down at you, memorizing the way the stars threw shadows over your form as you fell asleep against his chest.

*

When you woke up, his chest was rising and falling rhythmically beneath you.

Your body felt comfortably warm and you hummed. The vibrations in your body made you aware that there was something soft on your back that was not his hand. With furrowed brows from sleep, you straightened up slowly, immediately missing his warmth as the cool air of the cockpit rushed between you.

With your movement, that something slid off your back and you looked behind you. It was a blanket.

No, not a blanket. A cape.

His cape.

He had wrapped his cape around you.

With a smile you looked down at the dark fabric, your heart skipping a beat. This was the repetition of that morning you had woken up with his bedspread around you, only now it seemed that much more personal. How had he been able to fish it off the floor without waking you? How had he known that you would probably need it at some point in the future?

“You always get cold.”

His voice sounded weary from sleep as his hands reappeared at your hips. His helmet turned to look at you and you marvelled at how prettily the stars were mirrored in his visor.

With him holding you steady on his lap you were able to grab the cape from behind you and pull it around your shoulders again. It was still warm from your body and a comfortable shudder ran through you. Having something that was distinctly _his_ wrapped around you made you feel like you were surrounded by him. And you were.

The real man, in the flesh, held you to his body beneath you while his scent drifted from his cape around you. It was like you were intoxicated on nothing other than him and you did not want to have it any other way.

The fabric fell open at your chest but in the dim light and still half asleep you felt no shame, not with him, anyway. From your position you studied his bare chest, now being brave enough to indulge in that secret wish to see more of him. Some of the scars shone in the light, the skin smooth from where it had healed over. Just the sight of him, sprawled onto his chair, his arms flexing whenever his hands grasped your hips a bit tighter, made you feel giddy. Maybe, one day, you would be brave enough to ask him to see his body completely, to explore him not piece by pieces but as a whole.

But today was not that day.

Even with the low light, you swore you saw the shadow of a scruff on his neck which intrigued you more than it should. Paz had a beard? Paz shaved? Somehow you had never thought about the logistics of actually wearing a helmet that covered your face the entire day but the way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed ended that train of thought abruptly.

What wouldn’t you give to put your mouth on that spot …

You hugged him, then, wrapping the cape around the both of you. When he did not protest, you went a step further and settled your ear on his heart. The thumping calmed you, made you feel like you were floating through space and time and you could feel your eyes growing heavier again. “Do we need to get up?”

“No, we don’t, not for a while yet.”

“Can I stay here?”

“Hm,” he rumbled, already half asleep and you giggled as his large hands found their way under his cape and to your waist. He shifted you closer to him still and the knowledge that he wanted you this close excited you almost to the point of being awake again. But with the way his fingers spanned from your back to the underside of your breasts, you felt warm and when he started slowly tracing patterns on your skin, brushing his fingertips up and down, you felt yourself being lulled back to sleep again.

You would never, not ever, want to miss this again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	4. Dressing The Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paz takes you to Cantonica where you not only meet an old “friend” of his but also attend a party of a different kind.
> 
> Warnings: (tiny bit) jealous!reader, protective!Paz, heavy petting?, exhibitionism, dirty talk, orgies, discussion of sexual topics, yearning, two dumbasses in love, the yearning continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Dropping a surprise chapter on a Friday evening because I’m just too excited to contain myself? Perhaps.
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely feedback on the last few parts! While the yearning continues, I promise there will be some more spiciness and fluff to come soon. (also they talk it out a little in this part, yay!) As always, please let me know what you think!

When he woke up, Paz was more than happy. You were curled up on his chest, face buried in the crook of his neck and he could feel your lips on his skin, warm breath huffing against him.

Against his _bare_ skin.

He could feel your naked chest pressed against his. This non-sexual intimacy was something that he had never really experienced. Sure, there had been the occasional after-sex cuddle, the general closeness when both partners came down from their high. But he had not slept with you this time. You hadn’t had sex. He had only wanted to make you feel good, to see what you liked and judging from how you had gasped and writhed on top of him, he had managed to do just that.

And then everything had shifted.

Not that it had been hurried or extraordinarily passionate before, it had been slow and enjoyable and relaxed, but then it had slowed down even more. It had shifted into the kind of intimacy where his hands had wandered along your skin just to feel you. Just to have you close to him.

His memories were interrupted when he felt you move, slowly waking up. Paz watched as your eyes fluttered open against the dim light of the cockpit. You were on the last stretch of the flight and he wanted you to get as much rest as possible. And although he had not been sure if the position you were in was even comfortable for you, he just could not bring himself to move you away from him.

He had done that once already, that morning after you had been on your knees for him. The way his heart had ached had haunted him out of the Razor Crest during the mission all the way to the moment he had spotted you about to be shot by that trooper.

His punishment for leaving you like that had been that the mission was extra tedious, he had thought, but maybe it had been the threat that you could have been taken from him forever.

That morning he had looked at you, wrapped up in his bedspread on his bunk, and he had wished, more than anything, that he could have kissed you. Just a peck would have made him happy. But he had tried to be reasonable, to do the right thing by leaving you a choice and not forcing you to wake up in his arms no matter how much he had wanted that.

But now, after almost having paid the ultimate price, the stars had granted him another chance and he would not make the same mistake twice.

Beneath the helmet, he smiled as you snuggled closer to him, the tip of your nose dragging along his neck and he shuddered at the touch.

“Good morning,” your voice was groggy from sleep and you made no move to get away from him, speaking right into his neck and your voice floating unfiltered to his ears with your mouth right at the edge of his helmet. He enjoyed it more than he had thought he would, hearing your voice without the earpiece. He wondered if you sounded like that every morning and if he would ever get the chance to find out.

“Morning, mesh’la”, he greeted you, spreading his fingers on your skin. Even with the cape around your back, your skin had gotten cold and he frowned, “Are you too cold?”

You shook your head against him, mumbling, “It’s alright. Just hold me closer.”

He wondered if it was because of your sleepiness that you were to open with him. That you had no qualms about sharing this with him. It made his heart skip a beat, knowing that you did not mind waking up in his arms. That, maybe, you would not have minded waking up like this a few mornings before.

Careful not to jostle you too much, he sat up straighter in the pilot’s chair, the material warm from his body heat, and pulled you closer to his chest. He adjusted his arms around you, settling both hands beneath the cape on your back. You looked up at him, the embodiment of comfort and your voice calm.

“So, will you tell me more about the tribe?”

“It is a secret.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” you reeled back, “I didn’t mean to pry, I just …” your voice trailed off in embarrassment and he smiled.

He shook his head fondly, “That is not what I meant, mesh’la. What I meant is that you need to keep the things I am telling you now a secret,” he clarified, heart pumping in his chest. He really was about to talk to you about his tribe, a thing whose secrets he kept close to his chest. But he was ready to share them with you. Ready to tell you more about his culture, his covert, his family that maybe one day would become yours, too.

You nodded, eyes glowing with a curiosity that made him smile.

“Where should I start?”

“Well, you and Din keep your helmets on all the time but when we visited Tomax and Dreks they didn’t wear theirs. Why?”

“It’s a different interpretation of the Creed that we’re living,” he explained, “Tomax and Dreks are Mandalorians but they live by a different set of rules and beliefs that allows them to take their helmets off whenever they want to. I don’t.”

Your face fell and he wondered what you were thinking.

“So … you will never be able to take off the helmets in front of others?”

“No, it’s … you can do that,” he assured you, his hand flexing on your back, “You can show your face to your children and to your riduur.”

“What’s a riduur?”

“It’s the Mando’a word for spouse,” he translated for you, hoping you did not notice the way his breath caught in his throat, “Um, once you marry you are allowed to take each other’s helmets off.”

“Each other’s?” you echoed and if possible, you looked even more distraught. Immediately he sat up, alarmed at how this conversation seemed to spiral quickly into a garbage fire. “So – so with your Creed you are only allowed to marry other Mandalorians?”

“What?” it took him a second to catch onto your meaning, “ _No_ , no, mesh’la, I – we can marry outside the Creed as well. I could – I mean, anyone could marry a non-Mando.”

“Oh, that – that’s good to know,” you mumbled quietly, clearly embarrassed about something as your eyes averted his visor, “So where are we going next?”

Your fingers found that one scar again that you kept caressing every time he had been shirtless in front of you. Paz closed his eyes behind his visor to focus on how it felt to have your hands on him like that.

Sure, he had experienced it when you had patched him up a few days ago but that was not the same. That had been because you had felt the need to help him through some misplaced sense of guilt. But now you were touching him without anything or anyone forcing you to do so.

He had not thought that it would mean this much to him but it did.

One of his hands gently came up from your waist to grasp your hand, holding it still over his heart and just basking in how it felt to be touched by you.

“Tomax arranged for some supplies on Cantonica that we can pick up for the tribe,” he explained calmly, “A payment for a job he did a few months ago.”

“Cantonica?” he felt your body tensing up and opened his eyes, “Are you sure that Cantonica is the best place to be when we’re trying to avoid the rest of the Empire?”

There was a small frown on your face.

Paz knew that Cantonica did not have the best reputation. Kriff, everyone knew that the planet was full of gambling and deceit and underground crime. It was the pit for the worst of the worst right after Corellia. Your worry was more than justified.

He cupped your face in his hands, willing you to look at him even through the visor. He brushed his thumb over your cheekbone, marvelling at how soft you were.

“It is certainly not the best”, he agreed, “but Tomax insisted that this is where we’ll find the supplies. I found a solid hiding spot, been there a couple of times already and I promise you, we won’t stay longer than necessary. A couple of hours tops.”

You did not look quite convinced and he felt bad for making you feel unsafe. That was the last thing he ever wanted. He wanted to tell you that no one would be able to even touch you without your permission on that planet (or anywhere) without him shooting off their hand first.

The truth was: He did not want to be on Cantonica either. Not necessarily because of the troopers (although they were a more than justified concern) but because of the other things that he knew awaited him and you there.

“You can stay on the ship if you’d feel more comfortable?” he suggested, though everything in him protested against you being away from him, “I could engage the ground security protocols and leave you a few blasters?”

He was not prepared for your reaction of pure horror.

Your eyes looked absolutely terrified and he realized too late that the last time he had left you alone on a ship he literally had taken shots for you to survive.

“It was a stupid idea, mesh’la,” he pulled you to his chest, arms wrapping tightly around your waist, “I am sorry, I forgot –“

You wrapped your arms tighter around his shoulders and buried your face into his neck. He could feel you breathing him in, slowly quieting down in the wake of the unexpected flashback.

“No, I am sorry,” you whispered, “I will come with you. I always will. Just say the word and I will get dressed and ready to go.”

Paz did not like the thought of you leaving him so quickly. “We still have time, no worries,” he muttered, fingers gently brushing over the nape of your neck, “We still have time.”

*

When the ramp of the ship lowered to the ground, your mouth gaped wide open. You had never actually been on Cantonica before. The stories you had heard of it had been enough to keep you from the planet and the whole system too. This was not the place you desired to be. And you were right for the most part but no one had ever told you how incredibly _lavish_ it was.

Everything was glittering and glowing and there were people everywhere, wearing the craziest clothes you had ever seen. Music was playing from somewhere and you could hear people cheer in various bets that they had placed.

Next to you, Paz stood unmoving. A literal mountain of dark-blue beskar.

These past few weeks you had gotten to know him as Din’s friend, as an uncle to the child – and as something not quite placeable but still special to you. But all of that had been in the safety of the Razor Crest, your home. Now you got to see Paz the way he was with others.

And the answer was: terrifying.

The way he strutted through the streets, the blasters on his hip, the canon-rifle on his back, looming threateningly over everyone – it just screamed _do not fuck with me_. You could see the way everyone stared at him in fear and wonder, the sea of people parting before you as he hurried through the crowds. It really was intimidating.

Not to you, of course not. You were safely by his side, his hand sneakily on the small of your back, leading you through back alley after back alley. He made sure to keep you by his side and you did not miss the way he adjusted his speed to you, ensuring that you did not have to hurry all too much.

When you turned yet another corner, you chuckled. “Where exactly is that hiding spot of yours?” you teased him, looking up at the unmoving visor.

“It’s an old … friend of mine. She will help us while why are here.”

You furrowed your brows. Something about how he hesitated before calling her his _friend_ confused you. He had never talked about any friends before. Not that he had to. But the way he shifted told you he was nervous or that something was wrong. And that worried you.

Before you could question him again, you came to stand in front of … well, in front of a whorehouse.

A naked man was lounging on of the windows, winking at you as he spotted you staring.

Paz was already over the threshold and you hurried to catch up with him.

“Paz, really?” you hissed, trying your best to avert looking at the many naked men and women roaming around. The lighting was dim, hueing the rooms in an everlasting twilight, and there was a penetrant sweet smell everywhere, making you scrunch your nose.

The people eyed you and Paz up and down, clearly suspicious of his size. Paz did not seem to be bothered in the last, simply walking up to what you gathered to be the reception and waiting. But you were not Paz. No, you were downright intimidated by their blatant staring and stepped closer to him, just short of tucking yourself under his arms to completely to make yourself disappear.

A woman appeared, pink braids reaching down to her navel. Surprisingly, she did not seem to be shocked at the Mandalorian before her.

“You here for Akiva again, Mandalorian?”

Your heart stopped. What did she mean, _again_?

Paz nodded once and the servant led you through throngs of people up a staircase and came to halt in front of a large suite. “She should await you.”

Before you could ask Paz how he had gotten to know her (and why he seemed to be visiting her regularly), the door opened and the most gorgeous woman you had ever seen appeared in the doorframe. Your mouth felt strangely dry, faced with her blinding grin.

“Paz!” she greeted him, clearly very happy to see him, and gestured for him to come inside. Then, her gaze dropped to you and the tiniest frown appeared between her brows. She did not say anything to you directly but it did not make you feel welcome either.

You followed Paz inside, your ears burning at seeing the various toys that were displayed on the walls. Gauzy curtains were hanging from the ceilings giving the large room a weirdly intimate feel that you did not quite know how to handle.

Akiva, because that’s who you assumed she was, was wearing a dress that barely covered anything with a kind of confidence you envied her for. Her attention was solely focussed on Paz and it made you feel … not exactly angry, but maybe a little?

“Tomax told me to expect you but he certainly did not say anything about your little friend,” she eyed with curiosity and you frowned at being described like that. You were not his ‘little friend’. You were not exactly sure what you were but certainly not that. Right?

Paz did not say anything and your heart cracked just a tiny bit.

“Sit down, sit down,” she gestured to some low chaise in one corner of the room while she swayed to a little bar next to a window, “Can I offer you a drink?”

The Mandalorian sat down. “I am not in the mood for jokes,” he replied drily, casually leaning back in his seat, spreading his legs. You sat down next to him, biting your lip at just how huge he looked. Stars, would you ever get enough of looking at him?

Akiva was busy doing – something, you did not quite care what, when you felt Paz’ hand land on your knee. “You alright, mesh’la?” he asked quietly, fingers splaying over your thigh, “You seem tense.”

You tried your best to smile at him although the truth was that you _were_ tense. Very much so. But it was no one’s fault other than your own insecurity getting the best of you.

As Akiva returned, a drink in her hand, you wondered if they ever slept together. She smiled at him like she had known him for an eternity. The people here knew him, they had known he wanted to see her. And he was familiar with her, knowing her jokes, knowing her rooms. Was she really just a friend?

Paz’ hand did not move from its spot on your leg and it grounded you back into reality.

You took a deep breath, hoping not to be too obvious. Yes, she might be intimidating with her confidence and her smiles and her beauty. Yes, you might be thrown off by such an incredibly sexual environment suddenly faced with the fact that you did not know anything like that. Yes, you might be afraid that they had slept together and that he would have deep unmoveable feelings for her. But that did not mean that she was a bad person or that you needed to be mean to her.

You had no claim on Paz, as much as that hurt you. And besides, he had called her a friend. And he had never given you any reason to believe that he would lie.

“So, if Tomax told you I would be coming, you know why we are here,” Paz stated coolly, not in the least flustered by your surroundings. It was as if he did not even register them anymore.

Akiva scoffed, almost insulted, “Of course, I do, buckethead, I already arranged everything, you’re on Umino’s guest list and you have the appropriate +1.”

Paz nodded, “Good.”

You wanted to ask who his plus was. Or what purpose all of this had. Or which guest list they were talking about.

Why were they talking as if you were not there? You were _right here._

Akiva crossed her legs, leaning forward and smiling conspiratorially at Paz, “I assume it’s us two then. Just like old times.”

Now you were really tense.

You did not like the way she was excluding you. And why did she have to smile at him like that? Was she seriously inviting him to a party and just … leave you somewhere else? You were practically fuming beside him, but too shy to really say anything. You had no reason to deny him this, no reason to say “No, I want to stay with Paz and I don’t like you leaving with him like old times.”

It was not your place.

As if he had read your thoughts, Paz' hand squeezed your thigh reassuringly, his thumb rubbing the inside of your thigh.

“No, she will come with us.”

Akiva’s eyebrows shot up as her gaze drifted to you and then to his hand on your leg. She was surprised, you could tell that much, but then she shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her drink. “It’s alright, I will be able to arrange a proper escort for her.”

Your eyes widened at the realization that she meant to pair you with a stranger to go to a place you did not even know – without Paz by your side. Your heart jumped in your chest, racing at the panic that seemed to take you over You wanted to protest you really did, but no words left your mouth.

Thankfully, Paz seemed to share your thoughts.

“No, she will be with me. I won’t leave her alone.”

“Paz. It’s alright, I will select the escort personally and –“

“She will come with me and that is my last word,” Paz hissed, “I won’t let her out of my sight even for a second.”

He sounded panicked, almost, and you put your hand on his, tracing circles over his glove to remind him that it was alright. You were still here.

Akiva remained stoic for a moment, mustering the Mandalorian up and down as if to interpret his reaction. Then, she sighed, “Very well then but I hope you are aware that she will have to dress the part. I can get him to believe one person has no reason to adhere to the dress code but two?”

“Dress code?” you echoed, looking down at your clothes to see what could possibly be wrong with them.

Akiva gestured to herself. Or rather to the dress that she was wearing. “Oh honey, you really don’t have any idea what you’re about to face, do you?”

You were too busy working through the meaning of her words to be angry at being called honey in such a demeaning way. You were not a child. Then again, you felt confused like one. This conversation just did not make any sense to you. Maybe it was the nervousness that was still coursing through your veins, or how this whole setting made you feel on edge, or how your brain seemed to be too occupied to piece Paz’ and Akiva’s relationship together.

No matter what it was, you could not seem to really get what she was trying to say. So, you turned to the person you trusted the most in this room, hoping he would be able to explain, “Paz?”

You saw him swallow harshly, his throat moving. “Umino is …” he hesitated, “he is a drug lord with very _exotic_ tastes.”

“Orgies,” Akiva interrupted him casually, “that man has the libido of a loth cat in heat and he loves surrounding himself with people who share that passion. If you want to get close to him? You better don’t have any qualms about showing affection in front of other people.”

“I – I don’t – I, what?” finally your voice gave out and you were thankful because else you would have stammered on, ears burning in embarrassment and panic.

What was Paz expecting of you? Partaking in an orgy? Stars, you had only ever slept with one man before and even now with Paz you were just warming up to him.

You did not want to partake in an orgy and how – why – why would he do that in the first place? Why would he go there with Akiva? You thought that whatever the two of you had was something exclusive at least, even if it might only be based on your one-sided feelings for him.

The room felt too small suddenly, everything just too much.

“We are _not_ participating in an orgy,” Paz clarified immediately, fingers warm on your leg, “Akiva might but _we_ certainly aren’t.”

In the back of your mind, your heart rejoiced at how he said we. As if you belonged with each other.

“It is just the way to get to Umino. He likes to make it a game to see if one day our Paz here will finally participate,” Akiva joked, then clapped her hands together, “Now let’s get you something you feel comfortable in.”

Paz’ hand only reluctantly left you as you stood up to follow her, thankful for the physical movement to distract you from whatever was going on in your head.

Akiva led you to another room, presumably her closet. Rows and rows of dresses and skirts and shirts hung on the walls and you doubted that she would fit even one more item of clothing in there. Through the far wall, you heard a loud moan and it made you feel weird, knowing what was going on just on the other side of it. But Akiva did not seem to mind, or hear, it at all.

As she closed the door behind you, she turned towards you.

“I think we might have gotten off on the wrong foot,” she said, a kind smile on her lips, “My name is Akiva. I have known Paz for roughly 10 years now. I am sorry if I offend you, I just – I have never seen him with another woman before. It surprised me.”

She offered you her hand and for the shortest moment, you hesitated. But then you shook her hand with a smile and introduced yourself. She was Paz’ friend, they had known each other for 10 years, of course there would be a certain familiarity between them.

“Now, you do have a lot of options for what your dress should look like, any wishes?”

“I don’t want anything see-through,” you replied immediately, “I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it.”

Akiva did not protest at all and walked to one end of the wall. As she started rummaging through the dressed, lots of fabric fell to the floor until she had gathered a couple of them over her arm. “Well then, we should definitely find something for you!”

She laid them out on a low bench in the middle of the room, spreading the fabric so you could see the different cuts and necklines and colours. They were all so beautiful and you were sure that you had never seen so much value all at once.

“Would you like to try them on?”

You nodded, eyes growing wider as she got out a box full of glittering jewellery. It was fun, to be honest, trying on all these fancy dresses and accessories with Akiva cheering you on. And you could tell that it was genuine, too.

When you had chosen your dress, Akiva left you to admire yourself in the mirror, to really see if you felt comfortable in it. The dress consisted of a flowing skirt, swirling around your legs, and a tight top with a very deep neckline that left nothing to the imagination. It was certainly not something that you would usually wear but it was pretty.

You were busy playing with your hair, seeing if you wanted to style it differently when you heard voices floating from the other room. Akiva had accidentally left the door ajar You stopped your movements, unsure of what to do when you heard them talking.

“I have to be honest with you, Paz, when Tomax said you’d come back I didn’t imagine you to be accompanied by a woman that looked at you as if you hung the stars in the sky. And you to be so protective of her.”

Paz said nothing but your thoughts screamed in your head. Knowing that you were more obvious than you thought you were made your cheeks heat up.

“Do you want to tell me who she is? The sweet thing seems to be overwhelmed just being here where did you pick one up like that?”

“I didn’t _pick her up_. She is travelling with me.”

“If you say so. But if her looks towards you are anything to go by she clearly wants you, Paz.”

“She doesn’t know what she wants, Akiva. Because if she did she –“

You took a deep breath, unable to hear anything more, and stepped out of the room. Akiva was standing right in front of him, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her eyebrows cocked. She was clearly amused by how Paz stoically did not meet her gaze.

But when they spotted you peeking out of the room, they both turn to you immediately.

Akiva smiled, “Come on out, do you feel comfortable?

You were a bit shy now that the attention was so obviously on you and your body but stepped into the room fully nonetheless. It would not be any different when you were at the party tonight, except that people might look at you less, so it could only get better, right?

“It looks marvellous and absolutely hot if I may so say so myself,” Akiva nodded satisfied, “What do you think, Paz? … Paz?”

Paz did not move nor did he say anything.

You were not sure if it was a good thing or not. He did not have to like your dress, you tried to remind yourself. The most important part was that you felt comfortable in it and you did. The fabric was soft and the cut comfortable and you had to agree with Akiva. You looked hot.

Still, you would feel better knowing that Paz found you attractive too. In this dress or any dress, really.

Suddenly, the big man sputtered – coughed, really – and your eyes widened in concern.

“Are you alright?” your hand landed on his forearm, willing him to look at you, to breathe, to – kriff how could he cough this much?

“Yeah, no,” he coughed again, “kriff, yes, yes, I am alright, cyar’ika. Sorry, I was just,” he trailed off, his body growing still and you felt breathless, “You just look … very pretty,” he offered, almost lamely.

Still, you smiled at the honesty in his words, your fingers burying in the fabric of your skirt. “Thank you.”

Akiva, who you almost forgot was still right next to you, smirked, “Now then, we still have a few hours before we need to leave. Make yourselves comfortable, I still have some entertaining to do.”

*  
You had not known what to expect of the party.

Then again, there was no way you could have imagined any of this.

The rooms were dimly lit, separated by curtains and doors. The whole floorplan was a mystery to you but you suspected that there were lots of secret corners where on could get … acquainted.

The first thing you had noticed was just how … relaxed everyone was. They stood there in their fancy clothes, some already partly or fully undressed, and did not even bat an eye when

The food and drink were good, incredibly so, and you munched on your third appetizes while you sat on a sofa, waiting for Paz.

He had gone just a few steps further, talking to some guards and you smiled at how he stood so that he could keep an eye on you. His hand on your back had not left you for the entire walk to the party and he had only parted from you, almost reluctantly, when you had offered to sit down and wait for him.

Thankfully, the sofa you were sitting on remained unoccupied.

All around you, people were starting to make out, their hands disappearing beneath clothes while you sipped on your wine. No matter where you looked you would be sure to feel a weird mixture of embarrassment, shame and curiosity rising in you. Mostly curiosity though. All of them were so confident in what they were doing with their partners. They had no inhibitions and you wondered what that must feel like. To be so sure in oneself and in one’s partner to just … _do_ things.

“You look like you never saw half of the things here,” Akiva said, sitting down next to you. She was not wearing a shirt anymore and you tried to avert your eyes, tried to be respectful although you thought it might be more for your sake than hers.

“Well, that’s because I haven’t.”

She looked at you with confusion in her eyes, “And here I was thinking that Paz would keep every woman in his bed satisfied.”

You could feel your ears heat up as you gathered the courage to ask what you had wondered all along. “How? I mean what – I –“

You clamped your mouth shut in frustration and shame, deciding to instead look at the half-empty glass in your hands. Akiva laughed, “Don’t worry I only slept with him once and that was years ago now. Besides, if I tried anything now I’m pretty sure that I would remain unsuccessful.”

“Why? I mean, you look – you are very pretty and confident and –“

“And the way he looks at you makes it very clear that there is only one woman he is interested in.”

You hummed absently, too distracted to really hear her. On an ottoman not too far away from you there was a woman, her legs spread and a man had his face buried between them. You watched as she buried her hands in his hair, throwing her head back with a moan.

Quickly, you averted your eyes but you could not deny the curiosity you felt. “Is – Is that something that men often? The thing with their mouths?”

Akiva scoffed and crossed her legs, “You really haven’t had a lot of experience, now had you?”

The way in which she said it. As if it was a surprise, something _peculiar_ , caused shame to fill you. You knew it was not necessarily typical for someone with your walk of life to be _that_ inexperienced but that did not mean that you had gotten used to the sometimes quite judging looks of others.

Akiva seemed to immediately sense her mistake. “Look, I am sorry, I did not want to make you feel uncomfortable,” she apologized, “And well, there are lots of men who refuse to eat a woman out but, in my opinion, those are not worth talking to anyway.”

You nodded quietly, thankful for her input as your eyes wandered over some of the other guests.

“Do … Do you have any experience that you might want to share?” she continues cautiously, “Any … bad ones?”

“Not bad like you meant it probably. Just … unfulfilling,” you shrugged your shoulders, “It was a one-night stand with a boy from my village years ago, we both did not know what we were doing and I think … I think he just wanted to get it over with?”

“That sounds awful. Does Paz know about it?”

“Yeah, he – he is helping me a little, I think, about finding out what I like and what it can feel like,” you admitted shyly, heart racing at the memory of what you had already done and the idea of what you still _could_ do.

The woman next to you smiled and winked at you “He certainly looks as if he wants to help you.”

You laughed nervously, somehow excited that a third party determined that he as attracted to you. It was not only your imagination anymore, she saw it too.

Suddenly she started rummaging in her bag, her eye slighting up like a child when she handed you a tiny piece of metal, “Here, take this.”

You eyed the metal in your hand with interest, not quite able to see what it was, and looked up at her expectantly.

“It is a coupon,” she explained, “Look, I know that Paz will take you to Corellia next. That’s where Umino stores most of his supplies. That means you will most likely do a stop on Serenno. A few blocks away from the spaceport is this shop,” as if to emphasize her pint, she tapped her fingernail on the metal.

In the dim light, it was hard for you to read everything but you only needed to decipher two words to feel your ears heat up.

_Sex Toys._

“Everyone has their own sexual awakening at some point,” Akiva continued, “But you should never have to depend on a man to make you feel good. Even if that man is Paz Vizsla himself. Take that coupon and tell Anibi that I sent you. She will get you a good deal and she will be able to advise you on what you might like the most.”

“I – I don’t know what to say,” you mumbled, turning the coupon in your hands this and that way, “Thank you, Akiva. It is very kind.”

“Just promise me you will use it. I have a feeling there is lots that you have yet to discover and who knows? Maybe Paz can use it on you?”, there was a twinkle in her eyes at the suggestion and you felt a fire start in your belly. The thought of Paz in between your thighs bringing to completion over and over again until –

As if he had heard your thoughts, Paz appeared right in front of you, tilting his head. It was obvious that he was curious what you were talking about but you were not ready to share it yet. Quickly you slipped the coupon into one of the pockets of the silk dress, determined to keep it hidden from him. There was no need to discuss this now, after all.

Sensing the tension between the two of you, Akiva stood up.

“If you would excuse me, I spotted a delightful senator over there who always shows me a good time,” she grinned, “It was very nice to see you again, Paz, and to meet you, of course, Y/N. Contact me if you’re ever here again, we could have a lot of fun.” With that, she swayed over to a man who already was surrounded by several women. As soon as he spotted her, however, he opened his arms and greeted her with an open-mouthed kiss. You averted your eyes.

Paz had watched the exchange too, a low chuckle escaping him at his friends’ antics. Then he turned to you, “Are you ready?”

You swallowed at the question. You were nervous at the prospect of going to one of the smaller and more private rooms. Who knew what would await you there?

Then again, no one here had touched you or made any unwanted advances. You were by Paz’ side after all and you were pretty sure that even if someone would make unsolicited advances to you, he would let no one near you, much less hurt you. And so, you nodded, still unsure but determined not to be the weak link in this improvised operation.

When his arm slipped around your waist, you instantly felt better.

People kept eyeing you but they were too busy eying each other, tongues and hands wandering everywhere. Paz kept leading you through room after room, passing the most erotic and scandalous scenes without so much as a stutter in his step.

You, on the other hand, could hardly take their eyes off them although you tried enough times out of respect for their privacy. You just could not help yourself. You saw two women sitting next to each other, their hands buried between each other’s thighs while their mouths were interlocked.

There was also a group of people too intertwined with each other for you to recognize how many of them they were. It was a mix of all sexes, all species and there was naked skin everywhere. They seemed much too busy with themselves to notice you passing by but a blue Twi’lek stopped, pulling away from a woman’s breast and mustering the two of you up and down with a glint in his eyes.

“Eh, Mando, you wanna join us? Your lady looks she would scream nicely,” he eyed your exposed skin extensively and you instinctively moved closer to Paz, his hand on your waist tightening.

“Touch her and you are dead.”

The man laughed good-naturedly – as if he had expected that answer to come from Paz – and turned around, immediately finding the lips of another to occupy his mouth.

Paz led you to another, smaller room and stopped. This was your destination. Different smaller sitting groups had been arranged, some occupied, some not. Thankfully, the people here too were more invested in each other than noticing your entrance.

You made stop in front of a sofa and Paz made sure you were sitting comfortably before settling down next to you as well. Both of you were quiet.

“This is where he’ll get suspicious,” Paz explained softly, “Just close your eyes and pretend it’s just us.”

His hands wandered to the neckline of your dress and you did as he had said. Even after this short time, his touches already felt familiar to you, but no less thrilling.

“I know that you heard me when I was talking to Akiva today,” he murmured, “I am sorry I made you feel as if I did not trust your judgement. I want to make sure you feel safe with me and I was afraid that if – if we do this that I could hurt you.”

“I trust you, Paz,” you replied quietly, “And I need you to trust me and my judgement. I know what I want and I want – I want –“ _you_ “ – I want you to show me these things – would you show me someday, Paz?” you asked, “They are doing all these things that I want to do too and I – I don’t know how to ask you for it.”

“I will do everything you ask me to, mesh’la,” he chuckled, “I cannot deny you a thing. What is it that has piqued your interest in this room, hm? Do you want me to put my fingers between your legs, make you scream? Or suck on my cock again? You seemed to like that the last time.”

You almost moaned at the memory of it.

“I want to experience all of it,” you confessed breathlessly, right underneath his helmet, your words arriving unfiltered at his ears. There was low groan coming from him, his body vibrating against you as a rough thumb brushed over your nipple. “I want to know what it is like being eaten out or how it feels to cum from fingers that are not my own or how – how to pleasure you with my hands, how to ride someone.”

“Kriffing stars, mesh’la –“

“I want to have my nipples sucked too,” you continued, arching your breast into his hand. You nuzzled against the cowl around his neck, seeking his body heat in the room that seemed too cold for the little you were wearing.

“Pull it down,” he ordered gruffly and you froze.

“Paz, are you sure?”

“Pull it down, just enough for you to get your mouth on me,” he instructed more insistently, tugging on your breast impatiently and you nodded. With him still teasing you, you eagerly pulled the fabric down, baring a patch of skin for your eyes only. The dark corner you were sitting in was almost completely abandoned by now, no one around to see how trusting the Mandalorian acted towards you. And, to be quite frank, with him touching you like this, you almost took no notice of the remaining groups of people in the room anyway.

The only thing that mattered was him.

“I want to give you all that and more,” he confessed, “Kriff, mesh’la, I want to get my mouth on your body and never leave, worship you until you scream for the stars,” a big hand squeezed your breast.

You faintly registered that he had pushed the neckline of your dress to the side, baring your entire chest for him to explore. But with how you were sitting on him you were more intrigued with kissing his pulse point, sucking a mark into his strong neck in a way that made him grunt.

“I want to be the one you dream of when you get yourself off. Hell, I don’t even want you to get yourself off anymore, I want to be the one giving you all the orgasms you could ever wish for. I want to be the one showing you all these things if you’d let me.”

“Paz,” you whined at his words, the desperation in them so clear, “Paz, I want that too. I promise, I – I would be so good for you.”

“Of course, you would,” he chuckled, his hand moving to now squeeze and tug on your other breast. You sank your teeth in his neck in return, just lightly biting him and laving the sting with your tongues. The sound that escaped him only spurred you on further, pressing another kiss to his skin.

“If you could wish for anything,” he suddenly asked, his hand stilling and just gently cupping your breast, “what would you wish for?”

Both of your seemed surprised at his question as his fingers started their movements again, distracting you from any of your thoughts as his thumb touched your nipple again. But no matter how much you liked the feeling of his hands on you, you wanted to answer him, needed to answer him, as the

“Anything?” you asked and felt him nod against you, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger before slightly tugging on it again.

It took you a moment to gather the courage but ultimately, this closeness to him, this intimacy you felt with him in a room full of strangers, made you feel safe enough to be truthful.

“I would want to kiss you,” you confessed quietly and felt him stiffen beneath you. But he had asked you and you wanted to be honest. “I just – I would want to kiss. I _do_ want to kiss you. All the time. And I know that you have the Creed and I would never want you to disrespect it,” you pressed another open-mouthed kiss to his neck, hoping to somehow soothe the hurt that he apparently felt at your words, “But the truth is I would love to kiss you, Paz.”

He did not say anything.

Instead, his warm hand wandered up to your back, his fingers splaying out to cover most of you skin. And with it, the atmosphere shifted from heated dirty talk to nothing other than tender. It was tender the way he cradled you to his chest, the way your lips could not seem to leave his skin, and how his thumb rubbed the side of your breast almost soothingly.

“I will find a way,” he promised suddenly, “I will find a way to kiss you, mesh’la, and then I will kiss you until you beg me to stop.”

It felt like your heart was flying out of your chest.

You wanted to reply that you were pretty sure that you would never want him to stop. That kissing him would be the only thing you wished to do forever and ever, no matter how pathetically in love you would sound actually saying it.

But before you could do any of that – only just having pulled away from him, your mouth not yet open – a shadow fell over both of you.

The hand on your back froze and immediately moved to cup your breast in a quick attempt to cover you.

“Well well well,” a male voice stated, “I thought my eyes deceived me but the most famous Mandalorian _did_ bring a plus one to my humble party. Though he is reluctant to share her, what a pity.”

A blue man sat down on the sofa opposite yours, obviously not bother in the least by the fact that he might have interrupted something between you. After all, your arms were still wrapped around Paz’ neck as you sat on his lap your dress pooling in your lap. There was no way he could not have noticed that.

And he didn’t. Not if the way his eyes raked over your body was anything to go by. Paz grumbled – growled, more like – and moved his other hand carefully to slide the straps of your dress back in to place on your shoulders. But once your dress was in place he tightened his grip around your hip, effectively holding you close to him.

“I am not someone who likes to share.”

The man, whom you now presumed to be Umino, laughed, “I wouldn’t share her either if she was mine. But I assume that is not why you are here, is it?”

It was only now that you noticed that he had a whole entourage with him. There were two women at his side, one completely undressed while the other still wore a see-through skirt. Both kept touching him constantly, darting out their tongues to lick at his neck or bare chest and you wondered if they did not notice you or just did not care. Maybe a bit of both.

A guard sat down right next to Paz and you, claiming the spot that you had previously occupied, thus forcing you to remain on Paz’ lap although you did not exactly mind. In this position, you would be able to grab his blaster should anything drastically go wrong and you were able to shield his still bared skin from onlookers.

Although …

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were aware that Paz was talking to Umino, that there was a general conversation going on. But as soon as the thought entered your head, the temptation as just too bug. And besides, it was not like your actions would be incredibly unusual for the environment you were in.

As your lips tentatively returned to the patch of skin on his neck, you could feel him tense, a slight pause in his words. But he did no hinder you and so you placed an open-mouthed kiss on his neck, your teeth grazing over the skin. This time, his hand tightened on your hip as the other came to tilt your chin, guiding you to look at him. “What do you think you’re doing, mesh’la?”

Umino kept talking somewhere, presumably to his two companions as they giggled.

“Do,” you wet your lips, your eyes big as you looked at him, “I’m sorry. Do you not like it?”

You could feel your ears burning. You did not want to anger him but you also felt kind of excited because this was the first time where you had just done what you wanted. You had left your comfort zone and it was exhilarating. But with leaving your comfort zone there was also the risk of him rejecting you, of him not liking what you had done.

The longer he considered your words, the more your chest heaved in anticipation and nervousness.

But then he nodded. “Go ahead, love,” he rasped, “But every mark you put on me, I will put on you in some way or another. And I decide where they will go.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Kriff, it skipped several beats as you _beamed_ at him. Just the thought of you alone had your thighs clenching. Paz marking you up? “I can live with that.”

Without another word, Paz turned back to Umino, continuing the conversation and simultaneously baring his throat for you again. And you dove right in. Every mark you put on him he would put on you? That was a challenge you were more than ready to accept. When you sucked on his pulse point, you felt him shift again. His hand traced a path up your waist to your chest, quietly slipping into your neckline and slightly squeezing your breast without drawing too much attention to his actions. The dress remained in place as he started tracing circles around the skin, never doing anything to expose you. He did it just for you and you smiled against his skin.

You did not know why but it drove you absolutely wild to do this to him. To show others that you were the only one who made him feel this way, that you were the only one he let see his skin. A privilege reserved for your eyes only.

When the conversation seemed to come to an end, you reluctantly moved away from him. His throat was thoroughly marked and sucked and bitten and seeing your own marks on his skin made you feel arousal on an entirely different level.

Paz gently pulled his hand away from your chest, almost making you whine at the loss of contact. You could feel his chest vibrate with a suppressed laugh and his hand squeezed your hip as if to make it up to you. 

“I must say, Mando, I never thought you would grace my presence and with your own addition as well, but I suppose life does tend to surprise us from time to time,” Umino threw a data crystal onto the cushion next to Paz, “Here are your coordinates. My people will be ready when you’re there. And now I can only say, until we meet again, my friend.”

He bowed his shaven head before he disappeared, closely followed by his entourage. You could have laughed at how dramatic he was acting were you not too busy looking at Paz and trying to gauge his reaction. You were breathless with excitement and anticipation of what you had done. He had let you kiss him. Not only that but he had let you kiss him in front of all these people. And you had wanted to, too.

There was no embarrassment, no shame, just overeager excitement at how close he had been and how close he had let you.

Maker, you were really done for when it came to him.

“You had your fun, mesh’la?” he rumbled, pulling you back on his lap. He shifted his legs, spreading them a bit and pushing you into him _just so_ and – _oh_. You could feel his hardness right under your ass and you gasped. Suddenly, you felt even hotter. The thought that this was your doing, that it was you who had aroused him like that, your lips that had made him harden, should – technically – not be new but being confronted with it was another matter entirely.

“Paz …”

“That’s what you do to me, mesh’la, don’t think for even one second that you don’t have any effect on me,” he stated, his hands roaming over your body, “Stars, I could have taken you right here if it weren’t for those forsaken people.”

“Why don’t you?” you blurted out, encouraged by his hands on your body, “Take me, I mean? Later, on the ship.”

“Oh no,” he shook his head, “There is so much more I want to do to you first. When I take you, it is not gonna be on some uncomfortable bunk in the half-dark, mesh’la. It is going to be somewhere comfortable and where I can take my time with you.”

And for some reason, you did not doubt for one second that he was telling the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	5. Explorations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the journey to Corellia, Paz finds you in a rather … comporisming situation in which you ask him to help you out.
> 
> Warnings: explicit sexual content, use of a sex toy, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, voyeurism(?), size kink, praise kink, finger sucking, fluffy fluff, pillow talk, sleepy cuddles, the “baby” talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we can all use some good old smut and fluff today. In case you have missed it until now, my follower celebration will be delayed until I have some more time. For now, I will focus on The Favour and the occasional oneshot that is coming your way 😊 Thank you all for the comments and feedback on the last few parts, as always, please let me know what you think of this one as well!

The way to Corellia was a tedious one. Not only was it long but because you were trying to escape from troopers, there was only so much that he could set course on the Hydian Way. Paz sat pouring over the maps for quite some time before deciding on a fuel stop on Serenno, the one he always used and the one that got the least traffic.

There would have to another stop along the way, maybe even two, but he would decide on that when it came to it. For now, he just needed to get the ship off Cantonica.

He had been surprised when you had decided to leave his ship on Serenno too. “Just want to stretch my legs a little, catch some air,” you had said with a smile and he had only nodded. After all, there was no reason to believe that you would get yourself in trouble.

And he had been correct.

When he had returned to the ship, you were already there, patiently waiting for him in the cockpit.

“How was your trip?” he had asked you casually and you had looked at him as if he had confessed to the murder of the Emperor.

That had been a little more than two days ago now and it was particularly quiet between the two of you.

Paz did not quite know why or how that had come to be but it was also clear that you were not uncomfortable in his presence. You still sat curled up in the co-pilot’s seat next to him when he was there too. You made it a point to remind him to eat at regular times. You cared.

Which made it even more unusual when you were nowhere to be found.

He had spent most of the day training in the hull. Cleaning his weapons, throwing some punches in the air, trying – at least somewhat – to keep his body in shape. He had been raised as part of the Warrior Corps after all and great importance was put on the physical health of their soldiers.

You had joined him only after your lunch and remained until dinner, when you had suddenly disappeared. He noticed the occasional glance his way, how your eyes had lingered on his undershirt, how you had always quickly looked away when he had caught you staring. It had pleased him, to know that you had found him attractive.

And yes, he might have put in a little more effort then, doing some of the more difficult exercises in an effort to impress you.

Then again, maybe he had been acting ridiculous? Maybe that was why you had left, because you could not bear to look at him any longer?

But now it was deep into the sleep cycle and he grew worried. Normally, you would pop up again, sooner or later, wishing him a good night along that line. And every time he would struggle with himself not to ask you to sleep in his bed.

After Umino’s party he knew that you wanted him.

You had said so yourself.

But how could he make sure that you were comfortable? How could he walk the line of bringing you the pleasure you deserved and not bare his feelings for you to the world?

These concerns were nothing to him the longer he searched for you. Now, there was only one place left. Your room.

He debated with himself for a little while. If you were in your room and the door was closed that clearly meant you did not want to be disturbed. Maybe you had gone to sleep already? Maybe you just did not want to talk to him? But what if you were hurt?

What if you were unconscious and you needed his help?

Nightmarish images popped up in his head of you laying on the floor, barely breathing, unable to call out for him. Just then, a whimper sounded from the other side of the door.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

There you were. Lying on your bunk, the lights dimmed low, whimpering.

But not from pain.

His eyes did not know where to look. You were naked. Completely bare, with your thighs spread wide.

As you heard the door swished open, your head turned, eyes immediately finding his through the dark of his visor. He did not need to be close to you to recognize that your pupils were blown wide.

“Paz …” you breathed, a frown on your face as you stretched out one arm to him. As if in trance he walked towards you, allowing his eyes to now fully roam over your body. From your face, down your neck to your breasts, your belly, your legs and your feet.

“I am sorry, mesh’la,” he swallowed, “I did not mean to …”

“I need your help, please,” you whined, legs twitching and hands moving and that’s when he saw it. You were not pleasuring yourself with your own hand but with – with a toy. His cock twitched almost painfully in his pants and suddenly the armour felt too tight.

“What – What do you need?”

“I – I can’t open up,” you whined, tears collecting in the corner of your eyes, “I’ve tried and I, it just doesn’t fit but it should and I –“ you trailed off.

Paz shushed you, already ripping his gloves off and throwing them carelessly to the floor. “And you need my help, huh?” he asked, busy fiddling with his belt.

“Yes, please,” you murmured, wetting your lips as you watched him and kriff he had never been this hard in his life. He climbed onto the bunk and between your legs. The toy was not even halfway inside you and stars you must be tight and –

“Let me,” he mumbled, “Does it hurt? Are you in pain?”

“No,” you shook your head, “It just – It’s too big, I think or – or I just am not big enough, I – I have to …”

“We have to open you up,” he nodded as if he still had any control over his mind and body. Stars, you were lying there in front of him, completely naked and legs spread and looking at him with such trust in your eyes it made his chest hurt. Carefully, he wrapped his naked hand around yours that was holding the toy, slowly pulling it out of you, “Will you let me open you up, mesh’la?”

You nodded, biting your lip, and he put his hands under your ass, almost pulling you into his lap. Your legs were spread around his hips, your lower half hanging between his spread thighs as he knelt on the bed. Your back was still on the bunk, your head on the pillow. Seeing you up close like this he wanted nothing other than to put his mouth on you and make you scream. Instead, he settled on slightly brushing his thumb over your folds and you quivered.

“Show me what you did,” he instructed hoarsely, “Show me how you pleasured yourself, love.”

You looked at him with wide eyes but the way your pussy fluttered around nothing told him that he was on the right path and so he only nodded encouragingly, his thumb repeating the motion.

“First, I –“ your voice gave out, clearly too shy to speak but he watched as you put your hands on your breasts. Watched as your thumb and forefinger started to roll your nipples between them, working them into pebbled peaks.

He groaned low in his throat, “There’s a good girl, did you like that? Did it feel good?”

“I liked it more when you did it.”

“That can be arranged,” he teased, his hands wandering up to your chest, gently coaxing your fingers out of the way before starting to play with your nipples. Your eyes closed with a hum from your throat and you arched into his hands.

Stars, he could spend hours like this.

“And what did you do then?”

This time you did not even attempt to talk. Your fingers wordlessly wandered down your stomach to your folds, immediately seeking out that bundle of nerves. A gasp escaped you and he rewarded you with a sharp tug on your breasts.

His eyes were glued to your hand as it wrapped around the fake shaft and slowly pushed it inside you. Both of you moaned. You because it felt so good and he because he had never seen anything hotter than you opening up yourself to his eyes. But as you continued to push it inside it just … stopped.

You whined, your fingers flexing and his eyes fell to the small bottle beside your pillow. “Did you use lube, mesh’la?”

You shook your head almost desperately, “No, it – the boys always said it was bad, that I … I should be wet just like this.”

“That’s not true,” he growled in protest, “Lube makes everything easier, it does not mean that you failed. I want you to be comfortable, hm? Gotta need that when I take you.”

Your breath audibly hitched at the mention and his cock twitched in his pants as well. He could feel himself leaking precum and kriff he was sure his underwear would already show a wet patch on the fabric.

But that did not matter now.

Not when he was reaching for the small, previously disregarded, bottle and squirted some on his fingertips. Then his other hand wrapped around yours, slowly moving the toy out of you so he could spread the lube around the tip and the entire shaft.

You watched him curiously all the while, your chests rising and falling rapidly.

“Let me,” he whispered, pushing the tip against your folds.

“No, wait –“, immediately he stopped, looking at you. You were biting your lip, your eyes drifting down to his lap, “I – I want – please … take it off.”

“You want to see my cock, huh?”

You nodded shily and he chuckled. With one hand he started to open his fly, pulling his trousers down as far as they would go. It needed a bit of shuffling and it was awkward but worth it when his cock sprang free and you _mewled_. Kriff, could you be any lovelier?

With new found determination, he tightened his grasp around the toy, slowly starting to push it inside you. Like before, it went well for the first few inches and you arched your back in pleasure. With the lube it passed the point that you had struggled with before and he watched with fascination as your lips started to form a silent O.

But then your walls resisted again, refusing to give way for him.

A tearless sob escaped you, looking at him pleadingly. “Please,” you whimpered when he pulled it out and pushed back in again, his other hand finding its way to the top of your slit, rubbing his thumb over your clit. You were so soft, so beautiful but kriff you were tight. No, not tight, it occurred to him as he looked at you, you were _nervous_.

“I don’t want to hurt you, mesh’la,” he shook his head, “Can – can you relax a little more?”

“I don’t know,” you murmured, brows furrowing, “I need a distraction, I think? I know I think too much, I can’t help it, I –“

An idea formed in his mind and without saying anything his hand moved up your body until his fingertips grazed your lips.

“It’s alright,” he said calmly, “How about you suck on these for me, hm? If it gets too much or you want to stop, you tap my thigh just like we practiced, yeah?”

You looked at with wonder on your face as you nodded, “Yes.”

And you opened your mouth wide while your eyes were still interlocked with his and he pushed his fingers into your mouth. Wet heat surrounded his skin, your tongue swirling around the tips and he moaned low behind his helmet. There was just something about seeing you suck on his fingers that made that fire in his belly burn even hotter.

Experimentally he pushed them further, pressing down on your tongue and you closed your eyes, humming around the digits as you concentrated on the taste of his skin.

“Good girl,” he praised you which earned him a suck and your teeth grazing his skin.

His hand between your legs started moving again, slowly pulling the toy out and thrusting back in.

“There we go,” he praised you as he felt the toy slide inside you even further. He could see your wetness glistening on the material with each thrust as the toy slipped in deeper and deeper. He took care to keep his fingers in your mouth, your tongue on his skin making his cock twitch even harder, but it was not enough. At least not for you. One of your hands came up and closed around his wrist, keeping his finger secured to your mouth.

“You like that, huh?” he smiled and you opened your eyes, probably wanting to nod. But when he started to speed up the thrusts you only managed to gasp around his fingers, your eyes rolling back in your head.

He groaned at the sight of your wet lips closing around the toy. You were so soft and wet and what wouldn’t he give to be inside you right now? Would you look like that when you finally took him?

With both of his hands occupied, he cursed the fact that he could not touch himself. He was painfully hard. Drops of precum were already collection at the tip and kriff you looked so good like this – mouth and pussy full because of him. There was no bigger turn on than seeing you blissed out and desperate for more.

When he felt your fingers graze his knee, his eyes shot open beneath his helmet, thinking you might want to stop. This was your sign after all.

But before he could react your hand moved, up his knee, crossing your thigh that was draped over his leg and –

He groaned when your hand touched his cock. You were able to wrap it almost completely around him, his precum enough to ease your stroking. And you kept looking at him. Stars, you kept _looking_.

This had to be what dreams were made of. Kriff, even his dreams could not have prepared him for how good this felt. This was

You twisted your hand he groaned, the sound echoing around your bunk.

“You are so kriffing pretty,” he cursed, eyes flickering between his fingers in your mouth, the toy in your cunt and your hand on his cock. “Prettiest thing I have ever seen, mesh’la.”

A smile formed around his fingers and your hips started to move to meet the thrusts of the toy. As you continued to stroke him, his thoughts turned hazy and he could feel his end coming embarrassingly quickly.

But this was not about him.

He wanted to see you lose control first.

And so, he slowly pulled his fingers out of your mouth, chuckling when you lifted your head to follow them. But when he lifted your hand off his cock as well you whimpered, “Paz, please, I –“

He shook his head, “No, mesh’la, I want to see you pleasure yourself. Can you do that for me? Fuck your pretty little cunt with the toy?”

He emphasized his question by carefully twisting it inside of you, making you mewl in surprise and pleasure.

Eager to please, you nodded your head.

He shuffled away from you then, carefully leading your thighs back on the bedding as he moved until his back hit the wall in your bunk. He let his legs splay open as much as possible with the pants still twisted around his knees, cock weeping against his stomach.

He wrapped a hand around himself, watching you. Your hand on him had been much softer, much more delicate and he cursed himself now that he could never ever pretend that it’d be you when he was jerking himself off. Not when he knew how you felt now.

You did as he had said, propping yourself up on one elbow to see him. Your eyes fixated on his hand, on his cock, and your tongue came out to wet your lips. He tightened his grip around his base. Kriff, he wanted to feel your mouth on him again. Wanted to come down your throat or mark your face for everyone to see.

He watched as your hand wrapped around the toy, hesitantly pulling it out of you and thrusting back inside slowly, testing the sensations. He watched as your eyes fluttered closed, as your mouth slightly opened, but then opened again, finding his own behind his visor. He watched as your eyes trailed down his body to his moving hand, eyes growing darker as _you_ watched _him_.

As your movements grew faster so did his and by the stars he had never seen anything more beautiful than you.

The bunk was filled with the wet sounds of you fucking yourself, with your breathy moans and his grunts whenever he tried not to cum too soon.

“Does it feel good?” he asked breathlessly, “You like that? Just imagine it was my cock, mesh’la, imagine how _good_ it would feel. I’d stretch you first, make sure you’re wet enough to take me, I’m no small man, mesh’la, but I know you’d be able to take me, wouldn’t you? You would spread your legs nice and wide for me to have my way with you.”

The images conjured up in his head were almost too much. You would feel divine, he already knew that.

“Chose it because it felt like you,” you suddenly confessed into the thick air of the bunk and he stopped.

“What?”

“Felt like it had a similar size to you,” you continued, arching your back, nipples just _begging_ to be sucked and he swallowed harshly, “Tested it with my hand. Wanted to know what it was like to have you … have you – “

“To have me what?” his hand sped up on his, rough thumb swirling over his tip, spreading the precum and wishing that it was your own wetness coating him. His thoughts were racing a million miles an hour. You had said you had chosen it because it was him.

You wanted _him_.

“To have you fuck me,” you finally breathed out, falling completely on your back, unable to keep yourself up. His gaze dipped between your legs, watching as your hands tightened around the artificial shaft and pushing the toy in further, deeper. The way your lips structed around it almost had him coming on the spot.

You were close. Kriff, you had to be close. But still he needed to see you. Needed to see you fall apart for him.

Hastily, he spread your legs apart while moving closer. Fuck wanting to watch from afar. No, he wanted to see your eyes when you came. He settled on his knees between your legs, leaning over you while continuing to stroke himself.

“You want to know what it is like to be fucked by me?” he asked hoarsely, one hand coming up to hold your jaw, making sure that you would look at him. And look at him you did. Your eyes were wild and unfocused and your breath came in shallow pants.

“I can tell you what it’ll be like. I will kriffing feast on you, make you come on my fingers and on my tongue until you’re stretched enough to take me. And then?” he chuckled, his hand speeding up, “Then I’ll make you come on my cock again and again until you forget what it was like to have never been taken by me at all.”

He had not really known what to expect from you then. After all, it was just unfiltered thoughts that were spewed from his mouth. But as you listened to him, your body jostling with your own movements, you opened your mouth wide and tilted your head _just so_ until three of his fingers slipped inside.

He groaned out loud, losing all control of himself as he pushed his fingers deeper into your mouth past your gag reflex and your moan was muffled around the digits but when he looked down not only did he see his own hand wrapped around himself but also your hands pushing the dildo in as far as it would go. Your legs trembled around his and with a racing heart he watched ad your eyes rolled back in your head as you kriffing _keened_ into the silent air.

That gave him the rest.

With a deep groan he spilt himself all over your naked body. The pure feeling of euphoria that coursed through him made his vision blur, made his ears ring, made his heart feel like it was bursting. Thick drops landed on your belly, on your chest, a few drops even landed on your throat, rolling down and pooling round your collarbones.

He kept stroking himself, milking the last drops that fell from the tip of his cock right onto your heaving stomach. His fingers were still in your mouth and you were still sucking on them as you calmed down, both of your chests heaving.

Slowly, he pulled his fingers away, brushing them tenderly over your bottom lip, “Good girl.”

You seemed to be completely blissed out and exhausted and he could relate. It felt like the whole world around you had quieted down, retreating into the background and only leaving you two and this bunk in the lonely concept that was reality. He wanted to remain here, with you. In this space where only the two of you existed, where he could spend hours upon hours just making you feel good and see the stars.

Gingerly, he straightened his posture and wiped his soiled hand on his trousers. You continued to just lie there, seemingly trying to catch your breath. One hand was at your side, buried in the sheets while the other was still holding the toy inside of you.

“C’mon,” he whispered gently, wrapping his hand around yours and ever so slowly pulling it out of you. You flinched in protest.

“Sorry,” he immediately apologized and squeezed your thigh slightly. You only nodded, your eyes drooping closed.

Taking a deep breath, he tucked himself away and made it his mission to at least clean up a little. Grabbing the toy from its spot on the bedding he went over into the refresher, cleaning it and spotting the package it must have come in on the counter next to the sink. His head was still reelin from your confession. You had chosen it because it had a similar size to him. Because it had felt like him.

Quickly, he washed himself and put on a new pair of sweat pants. He forwent put9ng on a new shirt because – well, his body felt like a furnace sometimes and he also did not think that you would mind.

When he came back into your room, you were still lying motionless on the bed. It was like you had not moved at all but your face revealed it all. You looked sated and happy and he could not help the smile on your lips. He had never seen you this … relaxed, at least when you were awake, and you looked proud, too.

And to some extent he had something to do with it.

“Hey, mesh’la,” he greeted you softly, his old shirt in his hands, “I’m gonna clean you up, alright?”

You hummed, your head turning towards him with a smile. Carefully, he dabbed the shirt between your thighs, cleaning you up as much as possible. Your folds were swollen and tender and wet and although he had just come he still could not get enough of the thought of one day having you completely to himself. When he made sure that your thighs were dry he went on to wipe his own seed of your body.

He wanted to cover you in your blankets, to leave you alone and in peace to sleep. But when he spotted the wet patches on your sheets, a mix of sweat and bodily fluid, he knew that he could not leave you here. You were exhausted, yes, but that was no reason to just leave you here in this uncomfortable mess of sheets.

“Want to come over to my bed?” he asked instead, afraid to offend you somehow. But you only nodded with a smile, your eyes blinking open to look at him. With a hum you stretched out your arms, clearly asking him to pick you up and he chuckled. As if he had done thousands time before he wrapped his arms under your back and under your knees, scooping you up against his chest.

Your naked skin against his made his heart stutter and swell. And when you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck he knew he would never be able to forget this moment.

It was only a short walk to his room, a few steps really, but it felt like he was taking you to an entirely different world. He was laying you down onto _his_ bunk, covering you with _his_ blankets and when you scooted to the side, it was obvious that you were making space for _him_ next to you.

While he had often (day)dreamed of you sleeping in his bed, he had not considered the thought of you sleeping in his bed … with him. But it did not take even a standard second of it to become his new favourite image.

He laid down next to you beneath the soft blanket, making sure not to touch you so that you could decide what you wanted. Although he allowed himself to brush is hand against yours, just a little.

Your eyes fluttered open again and when you spotted him next to you, you shuffled closer until your naked body was pressed against his side, your head finding the perfect resting place on his chest and your hand wrapped around his middle.

Paz was sure that by now you could hear his rapid heartbeat, it was so loud it was probably echoing not only in his ears but also in the entire room. He wrapped his arms around you in return, regretting that the helmet prevented him from burying his nose in your hair.

“Was – Was it good for you?” you asked hesitantly, your voice already mumbled from sleep and his heart ached. Had this man really impacted you so much that you were afraid of disappointing him? Had you not yet realized that whatever you did, however you looked at him or touched him or talked to him his heart threatened to fly out of his chest? That, in the end, it did not even matter because this had been about you? About you finding your pleasure?

“It was perfect,” he assured you, fingers tracing a pattern on your shoulder, “But what is more important, was it good for you?”

You nodded with a dreamy smile on your lips and he smirked.

“Like when you called me a good girl,” you confessed into his skin, “made me feel all fuzzy … Can you do that again some time?”

“Of course,” he replied almost embarrassingly quickly, “whenever you want, mesh’la.”

“Thought about you, you know,” you continued your rambling. He was not even sure if you had actually heard him talk or if you were talking to yourself now, but he kept with his movements on your skin, enjoying the bubble you were both in. “Before you even came, I – I always think about you, Paz. Do you think about me too sometimes?”

“Always,” he whispered into the quiet, focusing his gaze on the ceiling and hoping that his erratic heartbeat would not wake you up, “I always think about you, mesh’la. Every waking and sleeping minute.”

“Your good girl,” you sighed, half asleep and unhearing, but his heart stopped.

Were you really his?

*

You had come to notice that waking up with Paz was like transitioning from one dream to another.

No, correct that.

 _Being_ with Paz was like transitioning from one dream to another.

When the first rays of consciousness broke through your sleep you had been convinced that the previous night had been a dream. But your brain was tired of making the same mistakes and soon after you felt the soreness between your legs and the rising body under yours.

It had been real, just as it was real that you were cuddled up to him in his own bed now and

“Hello,” his own voice ripped you from your thoughts and you smiled up at him.

“Hi.”

His hand was settled on the middle of your back, warm against your skin and you hummed as he pressed you closer still, “Did you sleep well, mesh’la?”

“I did,” you replied and brazenly threw one leg around his hips, shuffling so that you were laying completely on him, grinning from ear to ear, “I had a very comfortable pillow.”

Paz laughed out loud, a genuine belly laugh, and you could feel his body’s movement underneath you.

His hands found their way to your hips, only making you remember now that you were, in fact, naked. And he did not seem to mind one bit. For a short moment you felt embarrassment washing over you until your brain jumped in with the memory of him kneeling between your naked legs. He had already seen you. All of you. Intimately.

Still, why did this feel different then?

“What are you thinking about?” he asked you, thumbs rubbing your hipbones.

Your mind began to race. What would you tell him?

_Oh, I know that you walked in on me masturbating and proceeded to watch me fuck myself while I could not stop thinking about feeling your cum run down my throat but now I feel weird that I am naked, do you think I look weird?_

No. None of this made sense, and so you decided to change the topic altogether.

“I really miss him,” you blurted out instead.

“The little one?”

You nodded, placing your hands on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, strong and calm, underneath your palm and it made you feel safe and warm. You still could not get over the fact that he let you see him like this. That he had taken you to his bed, just to sleep.

“I know he’s cared for and that it’s better for him that I’m away but I’ve gotten so used to spending every day with him,” you explained and swallowed back the lump in your throat.

You really did miss him. Missed watching him colour the sheets of paper you would buy, missed playing with him in the hull, how he would hide behind the crates just to waddle up to you as if it was a big surprise.

Paz shifted underneath you. “You are very good with him,” he murmured, his hands wandering up to your waist, one of his thumbs absentmindedly grazing your belly button, “I am sure that he misses you too but we will be with them again soon and then you can give him all the cuddles in the galaxy if you wish.”

You hummed at his words, momentarily closing your eyes to enjoy his touches on you. His hands drifted down your waist over your belly, barely grazing the sensitive skin above your mind before sliding down to grasp your upper thighs, holding you in place above him.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you thinking about him too, Paz,” you teased him, “That one has got you wrapped around his tiny fingers.”

His large chest rumbled underneath you in another bout of laughter. He looked so casual like this, leaning back against the pillows his bunk, looking up at you and you could feel his eyes even through his helmet. Why could not every morning be like this?

“He does,” Paz agreed, “All foundlings are precious to me, mesh’la, but this one is the closest I’ll ever have to a nephew or to my own –“ He stopped, the words dying on his tongue as you both seemed to realize what he had said.

You looked at him with the shock, you were sure, evident on your face. This was such an important topic and a personal one too. Was this really the time to talk about it? Did he even want to talk about it with you? But now that it had been thrown into the room, you could not just ignore it, or could you?

“Have you – have you ever thought about having some of your own?” you asked carefully, blood pumping rapidly through your body, “Children, I mean?”

You thought about how important it was for you. You had always seen yourself become a mother in one way or another and Paz did not seem like he did not like children – quite the opposite really. But just because he liked children, it did not mean that he would want some of his own. Or that he wanted them with you.

So, what would you do if your opinions on that matter differed? Although you had not talked about the exact nature of your relationship you no longer felt like you were alone in your feelings for him. It felt like this might become more, like it might last longer.

You saw yourself with him in the future.

Paz sighed heavily, air leaving him in one big breath.

“If I’m honest, mesh’la, I never really thought I’d have the opportunity to have foundlings of my own no matter how much I wished for them,” he started, his hand slowly wandering up to the back of your neck, fingers brushing the spot under your ear, “but if – if I should ever be with someone who – who wanted that too, then yes. Yes, I’d wish for foundlings more than anything else.”

You could not help the relief that coursed through you with a smile. Perhaps it was too early to talk about kids but knowing that this was a future goal that you had in commen relieved you more than you had ever expected.

“And, um,” he cleared his throat, “do you want foundlings, mesh’la? With – with your partner? In the future?”

 _I want foundlings with you in the future,_ you wanted to shout but bit your lip.

“I do,” you nodded instead, leaning into his touch, “I really want children.”

You could have sworn that his body seemed to relax as well. That he was relieved too.

You shifted slightly, tilting your head so that his hand could cover the entire side of your neck. With the movement the blanket that had covered the two of you fell down your back and you squeaked at the cold air that rushed around your body.

Almost immediately, Paz sat up, wrapping his arms around you and pulling the blanket back up. Your legs went around his hips, locking your ankles behind his back and pressing yourself closer to the warmth of his chest. You breathed into his neck, pressing a kiss at the skin there. “I don’t like the cold.”

“I never would have guessed,” he replied drily, his hands wandering between your bodies to your breasts, gently cradling them before tracing patterns over your shoulders.

“You really are beautiful, mesh’la,” he whispered and you ducked your head, hair covering the embarrassment on your face, “I’m not saying that so that you’ll let me touch you, but I really mean it.”

His hand on your collarbone gently pushed under your chin to make you look at him, “You’re beautiful, mesh’la. Truly. And I could wake up like this every day.”

“I could too,” you smiled, your eyes shining at him and his hands wandered to your hips, playfully pinching the flesh there, making you laugh.

“So, will you tell me what we do before we arrive at Corellia?” you asked, coyly smiling at him, “Because I have a few ideas of what we could do …”

Paz pulled you closer with a laugh, grinding you into him and you gasped when you felt him twitching underneath you. He was not completely hard yet, that had always felt different but this – this wasn’t soft either.

“As tempting as that sounds, I have different plans with you, mesh’la,” he explained, once again rubbing your hipbones as his forehead came to fall against yours, “And I am sure that you will love all of them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	6. A Happy Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paz makes a small stop on the way to Corellia and teache you a few things – although different from what you were expecting.
> 
> Warnings: none really, overwhelming fluff, like tooth rotting fluff, nothing bad or exciting happens in this apart from the fact that they just really, really love each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff today, what a surprise! Thank you all for your continued support on this series, I really appreciate it and I hope you like this part too 😊 Let me know what you think!

The morning was peaceful and quiet and you even managed to doze off on Paz’ chest again which you counted as your biggest achievement.

The large man underneath you had made no moves to leave you in the bunk alone and you took full advantage of it. It was nice to feel him breathing underneath you and you were pretty sure that he had fallen asleep again too judging by how still he had been.

Your face had been burrowed into the crook of his neck, your lips pressed against his skin while his warm hand had found its place on the middle of your back, holding you to him.

Waking up a second time in his arms was almost sweeter than the first.

It was slow and nice and comfortable and when he had gotten up to check on the autopilot system, his hand has brushed up your back to your cheek as he had told you to stay in bed for however long you wanted to.

While squealing into the pillow, you kicked your legs into the air. The pure happiness in your body was too much for your seemingly too small heart. This feeling of having your crush – although that word started to feel too small for whatever this was – reciprocating your feelings was not something you had expected on this journey.

But here it was.

When you got dressed in your room, your eyes fell to your bunk where, just yesterday, so much had happened. You felt your ears heat up at the memory and your thighs involuntarily clenched.

Struggling with the toy was not something that you had anticipated to happen yesterday. You had also not anticipated Paz – the literal subject of your dreams – to come into the room and helping you. But it had been more than worth it.

You decided to throw on one of your more comfortable dresses whose hem hit your shin and wrapped your scarf around your shoulder to fight off the cold. It felt like it would be a slow day on the ship today. Paz had not mentioned whether you would fly to Corellia directly now that you had the fuel stop but from his behaviour, it was clear that you would not arrive today at least.

Which meant that maybe you would be able to see him train again?

That had been a sight for sore eyes yesterday and seeing his muscles strain in his back and his arms and his belly had made you feel warm all over. His training session had certainly offered more images for what you had imagined when you had tested your newest possession.

Sounds were coming from the kitchenette just as you entered the hull. And so, you decided, to stay away from it.

If Paz was eating, you wanted to make sure that he could do so in peace and without the possibility of you accidentally seeing him without his helmet. But before you could stray too far, his filtered voice rang through the room.

“You can come in, mesh’la.”

Hesitantly, you entered the room only to find him looking the most domestic you had ever seen him. Still only wearing his sweatpants and helmet, there were marks on his skin from the wrinkles of the blankets, his feet were clad in thick socks and somehow, you wanted t

“You ... you haven’t eaten yet,” he explained, gesturing to the plate on the table.

And there it was.

A single plate filled with a ration bar and a little shrunken fruit and a cup of caf. He had made breakfast for you.

“You … made breakfast for me?”

Your smile was too big for your face as you beamed at him, immediately stepping closer. You wanted to kiss him but you couldn’t and although this was no news for you, there still was a disappointed _pang_ in your heart. Instead, you settled for gently squeezing his hand in thanks.

“Eat something while I get dressed, we have a lot planned today.”

That not something he needed to tell you twice. Excitedly you bit into the fruit as he disappeared from the room, closing your eyes and enjoying the fresh taste on your tongue. When that was finished, you started to munch on your ration bar. It was not the most extensive or overly complicated breakfasts but the fact that he had prepared it for you nonetheless made you feel warm.

Your cup of caf was almost gone by the time he returned, now completely dressed in his armour from head to toe. He seemed so much more relaxed than the last few days and you wondered if it might have been because of last night and this morning. If yes, you wished it would never end.

“So, will you tell me your mysterious plans or are they going to be a surprise?” you teased him, holding your mug in both hands and sucking up the warmth that seeped into your palms.

“A surprise,” he replied, chuckling, “It is not going to take long until we land, I will need to check up on some mechanics in the meantime.”

*

The remaining time until Paz’ estimated landing time, you busied yourself with doing your laundry in the refresher and hanging it up in your room. Space travel did not leave space for a lot of clothes and so re-washing and patching everything until it fell apart was the way to go.

But in your distraction, you stumbled across something quite different.

The bright pink package almost blinded you and you felt your ears heat up as you saw the object inside. Paz – Paz! – was the one who had cleaned the toys and put it back where it had belonged without so much as a word of complaint.

You tried to tell yourself that you really should not focus too much on it, that surely, he would find it yucky too to have a used sex toy laying around somewhere on his ship. But still, you sat down on your bunk, the package in hand, and thought about how gentle he had been with you. How he had not shamed you for it, how he had told – encouraged – you to use lube and how he afterwards had taken care of everything.

That had to mean something right? Because somehow you had the feeling that Din – you cringed at the thought of doing anything like that with him – would have done that for you.

Not too long after you had sat down in your sudden contemplation of Paz’ behaviour towards you, you felt the ship touch on ground.

Curiously you went out into the hull just in time to see Paz emerging from the cockpit.

“Ready, mesh’la?” he asked you, chipper toned and you furrowed your brows.

This – this was another kind of excitement you had not seen from him and it made you suspicious, this cheerfulness. It was almost as if he was a child on the ever of their birthday, theorizing about all the presents they would get.

The only difference was that Paz was not talking, only the spring in his step giving away his excitement. Amused by the show, you tilted your head and watched as he lowered the ramp and walked over to an assortment of crates that you knew all too well.

“What are you doing?” you questioned him alarmed.

“I am going to teach you how to shoot, mesh’la,” he explained as if it was obvious, strapping blasters and rifles onto his back as if it was nothing.

Your heart began to race from excitement and nervosity. You had never shot anything – or anyone for that matter – before and you had not planned to start anytime soon.

“What – what if I accidentally shoot you?”

Paz only laughed at that. “Mesh’la this armour can take a few shots, and at least I will have you to care of me, hm?”.

You could hear the teasing undertone in his voice, the flirtatiousness, but it did not help you to calm down. He had gotten hurt because of you once already and you did not want to risk a second time. Why was he taking this so easy?

When no more weapons would fit on his armour, Paz grabbed a crate with both hands and carried it down the ramp.

You followed him, not knowing what eels you should do and feeling like a headless chicken. The idea of shooting had always overwhelmed you. Maker, you had not grown up in an environment where weapons were used at all and the transition to the life with Din and Cara had been a hard one as well. And now Paz wanted you to shoot?

Momentarily, you were distracted by the planet you had landed on. Walking out of the ship rewarded you with a breath-taking sight of the local nature. Paz had landed at the edge of a small lake and the water was glittering in the warm sunlight. The wind was rustling through the leaves in the tall trees and no matter which way you turned, the forest seemed to be encased by enormous mountains.

And it was quiet. Really, really quiet.

You watched as Paz carefully laid the weapons down into and onto the crate, neatly checking each and every one of them – although you were not sure what for.

Then, he turned around and waved you to him.

To say that you were reluctant would be an understatement but you trusted him and so when you came to stand before him, you decided to hear him out.

“I know you never shot anything before and I want to teach you the basics because – I don’t want a repetition of what happened with the trooper. I want you to carry a blaster with you, at least when you’re alone with the child so that you can properly protect yourself and him if it comes to that. If you are too uncomfortable with it then you don’t have to but I’m a good teacher, mesh’la,” he trailed off, derailing from what seemed to have been a practised speech, “I would like to teach you. Please.”

Your eyes had gone wide in surprise at his monologue. He was right with everything he had said and you were able to see the advantages it could bring for yourself and for others if you were able to defend yourself.

He was not asking you to become a bounty hunter, you reminded yourself, He was offering to teach you.

“Okay,” you gulped, “Okay, I trust you, Paz.”

The way his shoulders dropped at your answer made you think that he was relieved and only encouraged you even more. Living with the bounty hunters would be a long-term arrangement, you did not plan on leaving them anytime soon, and so, maybe the fears that you had had in your life before had no place in this one?

“Let’s start with short-range weapons, alright?” he started, presenting a small blaster to you, worn at the edges but obviously well cared for, “Those will be the ones that should interest you the most.”

As he explained the mechanics and technology behind the weapon, you noticed how very _in his element_ he was. You had never heard him talk this much and this animatedly and it made you smile.

“Alright, see this little orange switch here?” he pointed it out on the metal and you nodded, trying to get a better look, “That’s the safety. The orange means the safety’s on, it won’t fire.”

As if to demonstrate, he held the weapon out in front of him, aiming at a tree. But when he pulled the trigger, it would not budge.

“Now, if you switch this one,” the mark turned to black, “The safety’s off.”

Much like before, he held the weapon out in front of him and pulled the trigger. This time though, it shot. He repeated the shot quickly, three times, making the leaves fall where he had shot into the trees. The sounds made you flinch against him, eyes wide as you nodded your understanding.

“Every blaster will have some kickback, depending on their size and the munition,” he continued, “it will take some getting used to, but considering that you would only fire in a very dire situation, your targets would be quite large.”

Paz switched the safety back on again and offered the weapon to you. You swallowed harshly and tried to stop the trembling in your hands as you grabbed the weapon, careful to avoid the safety switch.

“How are you feeling?” he asked you calmly, moving to stand behind you.

“Nervous,” you admitted quietly, “It’s quite intimidating to fire a weapon for the first time, you know.”

He chuckled behind you, “Believe me, I do,” his hands settled on your waist as he crowed into you and you were glad for his closeness. It felt like when he was touching you, you were less likely to mess things up.

“Make sure to always point the weapon away from you and others, unless you want to shoot them,” he instructed you. You had already instinctually pointed it away and nodded, slowly starting to feel like you would be able to manage this.

“Good, now aim towards that trunk over there,” he gestured towards a broken tree by the shore, its dark colour setting it off from its environment.

You held the blaster up with both hands and very quickly came to the realization that lining up your aim and your target was more difficult than you had at first expected.

“Keep both your eyes open,” he said gently, his hands closing around your hips, minimally guiding you. Feeling his chest plate against your back rise and fall slowly helped you to calm your breathing down as well.

“Brace for the kickback,” he squeezed your hips, “When you feel like you are ready, pull the trigger.”

As your fingers pulled the trigger, the kickback shoved you back against him, the sound making you flinch. It echoed over the lake and into the mountains and far off on the other side of the lake, birds escaped the canopy of the trees.

Still not prepared for how loud it was, you almost let the weapon fall in fright. Thankfully, Paz was behind you, immediately catching your hands and the weapon in his, helping you to hold it up.

“That was a good first try,” he praised you, “Although may I suggest that you keep your eyes open for the next shot?”

This time you took a deep breath. You felt better now that you had crossed the line of shooting in the first place and Paz’ calm demeanour behind you made you feel safe. This was a controlled environment. Even if you accidentally let anything fall, he was there to catch it. It would be alright.

“If you adjust your hands like this,” he moved your fingers differently around the handle, “You might be able to get a better line-up, try it, see how it feels.”

Following his advice, you shot again. The sound and kickback did not surprise you now, although you were still pushed back into Paz’ chest and his hands on your hips flexed. But it was less scarring.

“We’ll move closer to the target now,” he decided, “to get a more realistic setting of what you might actually face.”

The closer you got, the easier it was to handle the weapon and to meet the target. You shot row after row of munition and Paz was a good teacher, constantly giving you tips and correcting your posture until you almost did it naturally.

But he only showed you the one blaster.

You eyed the many weapons that were still lying on the crate. Some were shining in the sunlight while others were matted from years of use. All of them were impeccably clean.

“What are we going to do with those?”

“ _We_ aren’t going to do anything with them. I need to train too, though.”

“Can I watch?”

“If you want,” he positioned you to sit down next to him, very clearly out of the way of potential danger and you smiled at how much _Teacher Paz_ emerged in that moment.

He neatly laid out the weapons in a row on the ground in front of him. In a flash, he had grabbed the first one, cocked it and shot a row into the improvised target. Then he repeated it in record speed with the next weapon and the next until he had worked through the whole row in what felt like seconds.

The last one he shot was a rifle, one that he held close to his face to aim. He looked so sure of himself and kind of … sexy. You bit your lip, watching as he put the rifle down again looking at you and your starstruck face.

“You wanna try, mesh’la?”

Eagerly you nodded, now having found a taste in the different weapon styles.

But instead of handing you the rifle, he plastered himself to your back, effectively holding the weapon up for you.

“It might be too heavy, love,“ he murmured in your ear as if you were ever to complain about him being close to you. With how he was holding the weapon, you were still able to wrap your hands around it as if you were the one shooting and even without actually having to carry it, you could feel how heavy it was

How was he able to just swing it around like it was nothing?

“Keep both of your eyes open,” he reminded you quietly, his helmet right next to yours.

The kickback was much stronger this time and it was essentially Paz’ chest that kept you from tumbling to the floor. But stars, if you wouldn’t want to try that again.

“Fun, huh?” he asked, clearly amused by your exhilaration.

“More than I thought it would be,” you admitted.

He started packing the weapons away but the blaster you had trained with remained in his hands until he held it out to you.

“This is yours now, I – I would like you to have it,” he stated, “It is a good one and has served me well, I’d like to think that it’d do a good job of protecting you when … when I am not there to do it.”

The suns started to settle over the mountains, casting everything in a warm light as his voice faltered and you smiled at him, genuinely. As you took the offered blaster, your hands brushed across his and tingles erupted in your body, from your wrist to the roots of your hair to your tiptoes.

Maker, you were really helplessly in love, weren’t you?

But the moment passed and you helped him

As the last of the weapons were safely stored in their designated crate you finally recognized what it was that had felt so different today.

This was the first day you had spent with Paz just doing stuff. There had been no missions, no event to go to, no people to hide from, no time you needed to kill on a flight. No, today you had woken up in his arms, not having any plans for the day, and he had … entertained you. He had spent time with you, making sure that you would be safe.

And you had loved every bit of it.

“Will we stay here tonight?” you asked him, hoping that he would say yes. The sunset over the mountains looked gorgeous and it was not even in full swing yet. You could see yourself, dipping your toes into the water and spending the evening talking to Paz about his life in the covert.

“We will,” he confirmed, fiddling with his armour, “This is a point where the routes split up, even if they would still be following us, they wouldn’t expect us to be here. Besides, we could do some fun stuff while we’re here.”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your gin at his words. But when he did not walk towards your quarters but outside to the shore, you frowned, “So, what do you suggest we do then?”

“How about a swim?”

Oh kriff no.

“B-but I don’t have any swim clothes,” you protested weakly, wringing your hands in front of you.

“Me neither,” he shrugged his shoulder, not bothered by the lack of appropriate clothing. Instead, as soon as he reached the shore, he started undressing.

You followed him for a few steps until you too were standing at the shore, your ears burning hot from seeing him standing there in nothing but his briefs and the helmet on his head.

“But I – I don’t know how to swim,” you finally admitted, a little embarrassed and avoiding his gaze. He was already ankle-deep in the water and made his way back to you.

Paz tilted his head, “Well then I’ll just have to teach you, won’t I?”

You sighed. It seemed that today would be the day to get out of your comfort zone in more ways than one. But considering that weapons had been far more intimidating than the water, this might not be too bad.

And besides, Paz was standing right in front of you half-naked and waiting for you.

Life could be worse.

Slowly you started to unbutton your dress, revealing your thin underdress which would have to function as your swim clothes now.

“Once you get the gist of it, it is going to be fun,” he promised you.

And then, he hoisted you up in his arms. You squeaked in surprise, clinging to his neck, as his arms were under your back and knees. You had never heard him laugh so loud, so genuinely, and it made you smile as well. You wanted to see more of this light-hearted Paz, the kind that filled a whole day with spontaneous activities and had fun coaxing you out of your comfort zone and showing you the things that he enjoyed.

With you in his arms, he waded back into the water.

You tightened your arms around his neck nervously, only being able to speak through clenched teeth, “Can you even swim with the helmet on?”

“It took some practice and Din almost drowned but since then, I’m able to swim with it without a problem.”

You wanted to question that _Din Nearly Drowned_ incident further but when the water touched your butt, you flinched away from how cold it was. Paz only chuckled, steadfastly making progress until he stood in the middle of the lake.

But even with how far out from shore you were, the water only reached up to his upper chest, grazing his collarbones and allowing you to admire his bare skin. He did not even sway with the current while you were still clinging to him.

With how he held you, you knew that you were far more secure in his arms than you felt but the fact that you were mostly submerged in water did not exactly help your rational thinking process.

After a while though, you had to admit that it felt … nice. The evening air was still warm around you and the longer you stayed in the water the warmer it felt on your skin.

Still, being on the ground with two feet would have been nicer.

“I could get used to this,” he joked.

“To me clinging onto you for dear life?”

“To you in my arms,” he replied and he tilted his head in a way that betrayed his flirtatiousness. Ears burned and avoided his gaze.

“So how do I go from here?” you asked hesitantly.

“The foundlings always like it when they float, we could start with that,” he suggested and you nodded.

It was not like you knew how you were supposed to learn to swim. And from the sounds of it, he had experience in teaching swimming.

Which brought you to another thought entirely – was Paz’ job a teacher? Din had only mentioned that had had occasionally helped him on a mission and sure Paz was a warrior through and through but … what was he doing when there was nothing or no one to fight?

With steady hands, he put you on your back to float. His strong hands were under your shoulder blades and your legs, trying to hold you up. You hated it Hated feeling like there was nothing under you and didn’t like the fact that water was touching your face. made you feel like you were just seconds from drowning – even with Paz holding you securely.

“You need to tense your muscles, sweetheart,” he murmured, “If you have enough body tension then you can float.”

“Believe me,” you replied drily, “I have never been this tense in my life.”

“I’m right here, mesh’la,” he tried to calm you. you squeezed your eyes shut in response, trying to get used to it but it just wouldn’t work, no matter what you did.

“I don’t think this is going to work,” you decided, a little frustrated with yourself and the situation.

Paz sighed, his hands moving to your waist to hold you up. You felt the ground of the lake just underneath your tiptoes and made it a point to stand, supporting yourself on his shoulders as well. He took an exceptionally long time to think about it, forcing you to remain in the water longer.

Your gaze swept over the shores, the tall grass and plants that adorned it and the round pebbles that formed a small beach. From your place in the middle of the lake, the mountains seemed even bigger, as if they were reaching into the sky and grazing the stars that slowly became visible with the setting suns.

It was breathtakingly beautiful.

Paz tensed and you could hear the grin in his voice, “You know how a frog moves?”

“A frog?”

“Yeah, with its legs,” he tried (and failed) to imitate the movements with his arms and you snorted with laughter. To be honest, it looked absolutely ridiculous but you grasped the concept nonetheless and nodded.

“So, we will try that,” he nodded, more to himself than to you, really, “C’mon, give me your hands.”

Reluctantly, you put your hands in his only to have them laid out on his naked shoulders again. Then he ducked until the water was reaching his collarbones and you frowned, “What are you doing?”

“I need you to move your legs like a frog,” he stated, deadly serious, “Nothing can happen to you, I am right here and you’re hanging onto me like the little one to Din’s metal ball, trust me.”

You looked at him, a little afraid of embarrassing yourself, but his hands tightened on yours encouragingly and you nodded. You tried lifting your legs, imitating the movement that he had described.

It was jumpy and uncoordinated and it failed spectacularly.

But Paz was patient and he told you to try to again. And again. And again.

Slowly he moved around the lake, your legs moving in the water and your hands on his shoulders. Soon you were able to at least hold the tension in your body a little, although your legs were still flailing behind you, even with Paz constantly giving you pointers.

You felt silly and embarrassed that you were not perfect at it already. This was stuff that some people had learned at a rather young age – Paz clearly being one of them – and here you were, trying and failing at it. No one would want to spend so much time seeing you fail. Not even Paz, no matter how much you wished that he would not mind. But your brain convinced you otherwise.

“We can stop if you want,” you murmured quietly, “I know that I am not very good at it.”

But Paz just shook his head, the water lapping up at the lip of his helmet. “You are doing great, mesh’la.”

Shortly after that, you moved onto your arms. It was a tad more complicated as Paz decided to just put his arms straight under your middle, helping your float while you tried to coordinate your arms and leg movements at the same time.

You struggled with it quite a bit but you also felt safe with him beside you. Not once did he let you go or make your feel unsafe. On the contrary, he kept praising you.

“You’re doing good, love,” he encouraged you, the pride in his voice making your ears burn, “Looking like a natural there.”

You threw him an exasperated look, knowing that there was no way you would be able to look like a natural in such a short amount of time. But at the same time, you had to admit that it was fun. The night air was still warm and the water was pleasantly cool against your skin. If you closed your eyes you could pretend to be a mermaid.

Paz seemed to have noted your growing confidence and comfort as he stopped moving, his hands still securely under your body.

“I think you can try on your own now,” he stated carefully and your eyes widened in fear.

“Are you sure? I mean I don’t -“

Paz laughed and nodded his head. He led you to a shallower part of the lake, you still dutifully practising your movements, where you were finally able to stand as well. It was endearing, the way he made sure that you were standing securely on the ground, not in any immediate danger of drowning.

Then, he stepped away from you, crouching low into the water until only his helmet was above the surface. He stretched his arms out for you, “C’mon swim to me, mesh’la.”

You looked at him hesitantly but then you thought: Why not? The water was clear and shallow and he was not too far away. All you had to do was to pretend that his hands were still underneath your waist.

And so, you tried. The first lap was a struggle and you felt a bit like drowning puppy. But then again, you were not drowning. You were not drowning.

When the realization hit you that you did, in fact, not need Paz’ hands underneath you, relief and pride filled your heart. You were swimming.

Paz was not standing too far away, with a few laps your hands found his shoulders again and you beamed at him. Water was dripping from your chin as you cheered, “I did it!”

In the water, his warm hands grasped your waist softly, pulling you into him.

“You did,” he sounded proud and fond and it made your heart skip a beat with happiness. His bare hand came up to brush a strand of wet hair behind your ear and you were sure he could feel the skin burn. The excitement made your breath quicken and Paz’ physical proximity added to it did not necessarily help your breathing pattern.

But then he stepped away again, quite a bit further than last time. “Again.”

And on it went, you were not sure how many times he made you practice but by the end, you felt like you had gotten the gist of it.

“One last time, mesh’la,” he promised as he stood almost in the middle of the lake. You rolled your eyes in annoyance but you also wanted to prove to yourself that you could do it, so you started your journey. The night air was still as you swam to him but as you almost reached him – only a few more laps missing – he stepped away again, continuously wandering until he was almost at the far end of the lake.

You breathed out an annoyed huff, “That’s not fair, Paz,”

“Just swim to me,” he replied easily, as if this was just a breeze.

This time when you managed to reach him you wrapped your arms around your shoulders, your body tired and exhausted. What a marvellous thing, you though, that you were just able to touch him now, to wrap yourself around him and be sure that he would not reject you.

As if he was reading your thoughts, large hands came up to your back to steady you and push you closer to him. You could feel his warm skin and calm heartbeat through the think fabric of your underdressed and your ears heated up in embarrassment as you noticed just how naked the two of you actually were.

But with the lack of gravity that the water offered you, it was so nice to be close to him, to just wrap your legs around his hips almost as if they belonged there all along. One hand on your back wandered to your knee, his fingers moving it until it was pinned high on his hip and your heart started to race with the all too familiar excitement.

No one said anything for a while. There was only the gentle lapping of the waves on the shore, the chirping from some of the insects hidden in the tall grass and the rustling of the leaves. But you. You were transfixed by his gaze on you. How fascinating, that even through the black strips of his visor you knew that he was looking at you just as intensely as you were looking at him.

“Thank you,” you whispered finally into the quiet, “for teaching me, Paz. It means a lot to me.”

“Anytime mesh’la,” he answered and you could hear the honesty in his voice. He really would do this anytime for you. Make a delay in a route to teach you how to shoot. To teach you how to swim. To spend time with you and make you feel safe.

It occurred to you suddenly, like a wave crashing in over your head, that you had never felt as loved as you felt at this moment.

Here, in Paz’ arms, you were sure that there was nothing that would ever be able to top this feeling of complete and utter love.

The hand that he still had on your back began stroking up and down your spine, fingertips brushing the hairs at the back of your head. In a movement of trust, you laid your forehead against his.

You had seen Din and him do it sometimes to the child and although you were not _exactly_ sure what it meant you knew that it had to mean _something_. And when you felt how his hands flexed around you, shifting your closer still, you knew that it was something special to him.

“C’mon,” he rumbled and carefully pushed you away from him. You pouted, not sure what he was meaning to do until he came to stand in front of you with his back turned to ace you. Carefully he grasped your hands and wrapped them around him until they joined at his front.

Then, he started swimming with you hanging onto him like a monkey and you giggled. You rested your chin on his shoulder, enjoying the ride back to the shore where he had landed the ship.

“You are a good swimmer,” you commented curiously, pressing your wet lips to his shoulders. You could not help yourself, you just had to touch him somehow.

“It was one of my hobbies when I grew up,” he explained, “The covert we were in at the time was surrounded by a lot of water.”

With your chest pressed closely against his back, you slowly wrapped your legs around his middle once again, to get a better grip. He swam around silently, his mood being more playful than you had ever seen him and you enjoyed it immensely.

You were almost at the shore when he suddenly threw himself around, turning to swim on his back as if he was showing off. And he was. Though you were less focussed on his swimming skills and more on how big his chest looked like that, how the muscles in his arms rippled with each movement.

He must have noticed your wide-eyes distraction as he lightly splashed you, laughing at how you flinched in surprise.

Instead of splashing him back, you lunged at him. You wrapped your arms around his neck in a move that was familiar to you now and he was so close, so warm and soon both of your laughter faded into something much quieter, much softer.

You wanted to kiss him.

Stars you wanted to kiss him so bad.

Wet fingers squeezed the back of your neck gently, and had it not been for the helmet you were sure that he would have kissed you. Now, his touch only made you shudder in anticipation.

“You’re cold, love,” he whispered, “let’s get you warmed up.”

Before you could protest he had whisked you out of the water and now that you were exposed to the lukewarm air, you felt like your whole body was shivering. Paz ignored his leftover clothes on the shore and went straight for the ship, rummaging around in the crates until he found a large blanket he could wrap around you.

*

With the thick blanket around your shoulder, the wet strand of hair plastered to your forehead, you beamed at him. And stars how he wished that you could see him smile back.

But you could not. Not yet, at least, and so he sat you down on a patch of dry grass and went to work on making a small campfire. With the planet being almost completely abandoned, he knew that no one would interrupt our time here and he wanted to make you comfortable.

Once the flames were flickering to his satisfaction he sat down next to you, enjoying the heat on his skin, drying him off. When he noticed you shuffling next to him, he tensed. He did not want to move even one muscle in fear of disturbing you.

With a few movements, you had opened the cocoon you had wrapped yourself up in and held your arms out to him, biting your lip shily. The question was clear and without any hesitation he moved closer to you, taking the blanket from you so that he could wrap around the both of you.

His arms were around your shoulders and when you climbed sideways on his lap, still clad only in your wet underdress, his heart stopped. There it was again. This intimacy that he carved when he was with you and he loved it. It made his heart feel like it was bursting.

Your cold cheek settled over his heart and before he knew it, he had closed his arms around you, enclosing you in the blanket. Both of you did not say anything. That seemed to be a theme today but he enjoyed it. He enjoyed knowing that he did not need to talk to you to love your presence. That words were not needed to be intimate with each other.

He continued staring into flames, the fire slowly but surely heating him up and casting everything in a red-golden glow.

When the flames died out and you still had not said anything, he grew worried.

“Mesh’la?” he asked and you only hummed in acknowledgement, barely interested in what he had to say.

Gently, he tilted his head down to see that you were already half asleep, buried against his chest. You had fallen asleep on him, again, and for a moment he imagined what it’d be like that if it was always like this. If the rooms you both would share as spouses would have a fireplace too and every evening you would curl up on his chest in front of the flames, talking about your day until your eyes drooped closed and he could carry you into you shared bed.

Chuckling, he stood up, careful to keep you in his arms. With your eyes still closed, your arms slung around his shoulders as you buried your face further beneath the blankets and into his chest. He was just entering the darkness of the hull when you started to speak again.

“Can I sleep in your bed?” you asked half asleep and he froze. But you did not notice and just continued to mumble, “You are always so warm – so safe. Never slept better than that night.”

“Of course, mesh’la,” he answered in a whisper and carried you to his captain’s quarters without another thought. You had slept with him more than once now and just last night you had slept in his bed as well. You had told him to trust your judgement and he would do as you had asked.

With you settled on his bed, he returned to the outside to make sure that the fire was put out correctly and collected his and your clothes.

Back on the ship, he activated the ground security protocols. Just because this planet was half abandoned it did not mean that he would take any unnecessary risks.

When he came back to his room, you were still lying atop of the blankets just like he had put you there. Your eyes were half-closed but you were clearly fighting against the sleep in your system.

“C’mere,” you stretched your arms out to him.

Beneath his helmet, he smiled at you and shook his head. “Got to clean up a little, mesh’la.”

Careful not to make too much noise, he set down the pieces of his armour and switched out the lights.

In the dark of the room, he debated on whether or not to remove his helmet.

It would be a big step, although you could not see him and were most likely already asleep. Still, the back of his head was plagued with the interpretations of the creed. How one should never remove one’s helmet in the presence of others.

But clearly, that was not the only interpretation to live by? Clearly, there were other Mandos out there who lived successfully without keeping the helmet on at all times.

Ultimately, he decided that it would be safe. You had always respected his boundaries and he let you sleep in his bad for maker’s sake. Besides, maybe he would show his face to you sooner rather than later? If he was bringing you to the tribe, an exception in this small matter could be made, surely.

When he lifted the helmet off his head, he took a deep breath.

This was his favourite moment of the day. When he could finally breathe fresh air that was not filtered by his bucket. In the last few days, he had kept it on more than usual, a small price to pay in order to have you this close, but it was a welcome treat to feel like he could stretch his face again.

“Paz? Where’re you?” your words were muddled from sleep as they carried through the dark room and he could not hide his grin. Silently, he joined you in his bed, making sure to cover the both of you in his blankets.

“I’m right here, mesh’la.”

As if it was the most natural of things you slipped his blankets also over him and pressed yourself against his chest, evidently seeking his warmth. He could feel the goosebumps on your skin and rubbed his hands along your back. You were so small sometimes but now, without his helmet on, he felt like you were the one that mattered the most, that carried the most weight in his heart.

“You still cold?” he asked and he felt you nod against his chest.

“It’s alright though, I’m always cold.”

Blindly he fished for his cape on the floor until his fingertips caught on the worn fabric. It was certainly thick enough to serve as a secondary blanket as he smoothed it over your form.

You hummed, your voice dripping from comfort, “Smells like you.”

His heart flutter at your words and he tangled your legs together. And, for the first time, he was able to brush his nose along your hairline as he had dreamt of doing.

And when he fell asleep he knew that he never again would want to miss this.

*

When you woke up, you noticed that you were not freezing like you usually were which was enough to wake you up some more.

Why were you not freezing?

Why were you feeling quite toasty and comfortably warm?

When you opened your eyes, you could not see anything. But you felt the weight of not one but two blankets on top of you.

There was an arm wrapped around your middle, pulling you into Paz’ chest and you froze, your heart skipping a beat. Suddenly, everything came rushing back to you. How you had fallen asleep on him at the campfire, how he had carried you into the ship and how you had asked him to sleep in his bed and how he had agreed.

Now, he was like your own personal heater behind you.

His broad chest was pressed against your back, the only thing separating you the thin fabric of your underdress.

As you shifted, he grunted, his hand on your belly flexing until he pressed on your abdomen to get you closer to him. Your ears heated up at the feeling of him – all of him – behind you. But he seemed to asleep still, if his calm breath at the nape of your neck was anything to go by.

Wait.

You felt his breath on the nape of your neck.

You felt his breath.

He must have taken off his helmet. Stars, your heart was racing now.

He had never done that before and you knew that it was an incredibly big step in the Mandalorian culture. You knew what he was risking.

Immediately, your mind filled with anxious questions. It was pitch black in the room and you could not even see anything but were you allowed to turn around anyway? Or was just the mere presence of him without his helmet enough to toy with the line of the rules??

“I can hear you thinking, you know?” he teased from behind you.

You could feel your cheeks heat up at how gravelly his voice sounded from sleep. It was surprising how deep it sounded even without his helmet on – as if it was the same but then again not similar at all.

“I have never heard your voice,” you allowed yourself to say and when his hands pushed you into him some more you gathered your courage and turned around to face him. Although there in the dark there was nothing there for you to face.

But his hands still settled on your waist and you felt his thumb rubbing circles on your ribcage. He didn’t say anything for a while, just holding you close and you registered how your head had been cushioned on his bicep the entire time. Had you slept like this? Wrapped around each other as closely as possible and without his helmet in the way?

“Do – Do you like it?”

“What?”

“My voice, do – is it … nice?

You knew that he could not see your smile and so you carefully raised your hand until your fingertips brushed the bare skin of his face.

“I like it a lot,” you whispered in the dark as your fingers traced the bridge of his nose, “You could keep talking at me for hours and I would happily fall asleep.”

“Am I that boring?” he teased, nuzzling into your palm, and you giggled. You had never heard him joke before. Or perhaps you had but this felt like the first time. This felt like a whole new chapter all along, with his skin against yours and his lips on your hand.

“No,” you replied, still smiling, “it’s because it’s a nice voice, it's deep and rough and – and it makes me feel safe.”

You could feel his shaky exhale against your fingers as your words seemed to punch the air out of his lungs. In an attempt not to pressure him for an answer, you gently traced your fingertips over his nose and to his eyebrows, trying to conjure up an image of him in your mind and failing.

“It is all I ever want,” he confessed and you could feel his face moving under your fingertips as he spoke, “I only want to keep you safe.”

Shifting closer, you grin as his hands wander to your hips squeezing the flesh there.

“You do a good job of that,” you promised him and buried your face in the crook of his neck. This time you were able to feel the scruff on his cheeks rubbing against your skin, you were able to drag your nose up his throat and along his jaw, resisting the urge to mouth at him.

This was your favourite place now.

Paz’ hand came to your knee, pulling it over his hip similarly to how he had done in the lake and you shuddered. It brought you flush to him and a heat to your blood.

“Is that alright, mesh’la?” he asked, his hand tracing patterns on your skin and you nodded against him. This was more than alright. This was how you wanted to spend the rest of your days – right her cuddled up to him and surrounded by warm blankets.

Now you just needed to make sure that that was what he wanted too. 

“Sleep some more,” he murmured into your ear, “You need it. I will wake you when it is time.”

When your eyes fell closed again, you noticed that you had ended the day the same way it had begun: In Paz’ arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	7. Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On your way to Corellia, you admit to Paz that there is something you would like to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: this whole chapter is basically just smut! explicit sexual content, dirty talk, oral sex (m receiving), cum play, vaginal fingering, nipple play, slight dom!Paz, dry (wet?) humping, spanking (2 slaps), also softness and fluff and feelings and a lil’ bit of yearning for good measure
> 
> What is that? A surprise chapter on a Saturday? *gasp* I could not wait any longer. I would like to apologize for how long this hiatus has taken me. The next part will be out on the 19th and from then, I should be able to go back to regular updates. Thank you for bearing with me! As always, please let me know what you thought of this!

“You … you mentioned that you had sex before?”

“Where did _that_ come from?”

You looked at him in surprise, your eyebrows shooting up. You were curled up in the co-pilot’s chair, the most comfortable position you could be in. The flight had been going for a few hours already and you felt like it would be twilight now but the view of the stars had not changed at all – they never did.

How long it would take for you to reach Corellia still was a mystery to you. There were so many stops Paz made on random planets, even if it was just for a night, to make sure that your route could not be followed. It was nice, in a way, because it meant that you got to spend more time with him in the clam that was offered by this journey.

Somehow, you had moved into his bunk permanently. It was not even a question anymore where you would sleep each evening. When you got ready in the refresher, brushing your teeth, Paz would always appear right when you were done gently grasping your hand and pulling you towards his bunk. Now he did not even need to do that anymore. Whenever you were too tired and went to bed earlier than him, you would automatically cuddle up in his bunk, waiting for him. Sometimes he sopped on the threshold, just staring at you which made you feel shy but you also knew that it was a positive kind of staring.

The kind that, when he got moving again, he undressed and wrapped himself around you so tightly it felt like he would never let go.

And yet, waking up and falling asleep in Paz’ arms every night was a kind of luxury you would never take for granted.

The humming of the ship around you was your constant companions during those nights and days. Whenever you were not busy reading or just hanging out, you watched him train or let him touch you how to clean your blaster.

Now, though, your ears burned at the question about your past sex life. Which was ironic because … well, this was Paz. The man whom you had shared most of your experiences with. If there was anyone who would not judge you, it was him.

He was sitting in the pilot’s chair, pulling levers and pressing buttons as he shrugged, “I was just wondering, we never really talked about it – about what your experiences were before … me.”

You wriggled in your chair, pulling the scarf closer around your shoulders like a blanket. “I never …”, you swallowed, “There are a lot of things I never did.”

Sensing your discomfort, Paz immediately stiffened. “You do not have to talk about it, mesh’la,” he said, “I did not want to make you feel pressured.”

You smiled at that. There he went again, always worrying about you, making sure you were comfortable.

“No, it’s not that,” you shook your head, taking a deep breath, “It’s just … I don’t want you to think I’m stupid,” you admitted quietly, worrying that you sounded as ridiculous in reality as in your head.

Paz scoffed, his visor still fixed on the stars ahead but reaching his hand out, offering it to you. “I would never think you are stupid, mesh’la,” he said, “especially not when it is about something so personal.”

You let his words sink in, mulling over them in your head over and over and over again.

“It’s been 25 years since I have kissed someone.”

“ _What?_ ”

“It’s been 25 years since I have kissed someone,” he repeated stoically, and then added, “or been kissed for that matter.”

You looked at him, the shock probably still written on your face. You could see his throat bobbing beneath the cowl, the only visible sign that he was nervous. You knew how much it must have taken out of him to admit something so personal to you and your heart warmed.

And then you realized: you did not think any different of him. Not at all.

So why would he feel different about you?

“You are the first person who ever made me orgasm.”

He choked, a funny sound through his helmet, and you giggled as he so obviously tried to regain his composure.

“Are you telling me,” he cleared his throat, “Are you telling me that no one ever tried to get you off?”

“Not really,” you shrugged, “I mean he tried, I guess? But it did not really… work for me? We were both young and it was awkward and I think we were both happy when it was over … And since then, its been just me and, well, you now.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, although you could still see how tense he was. “So – that was your only experience?”

“Well, you know of the other one,” you replied drily, trying to blend out the hurtful words the man had said to you that night.

Paz growled next to you, muttering something under his breath which, you were sure, was not very nice. His hand tightened on your knee but you were not even sure if he noticed it.

“What was that?” you asked him, threading your fingers through his. Immediately his grip relaxed and he turned his palm up to clasp your hands together.

“I said I would still rip his head off if I could.”

You chuckled at his words, at how petulant he sounded, and raised his hand to your mouth.

“I would much prefer you to have you here with me, you know?” you said against his skin.

“Have you ever been eaten out?”

You masked your surprise at the question with a kiss to his knuckles, “No.”

He hummed in thought, not saying anything.

You turned to him with furrowed brows, “Why are you asking?”

“Because, mesh’la,” his visor turned to you, fixating on you, “I want to know all the firsts I am going to be for you.”

The flat honesty in his tone took your breath away for a few seconds.

Technically you knew that whatever you two had would continue for some time. After all, none of you had said otherwise, but to hear him say that. To hear that he planned on doing more things with you was a kind of confirmation you had not been prepared for.

“Well, if we are on the matter of things I have not experienced yet,” you started, “and that I want to try – fingering is actually one of them.”

“What?”

“Well, Akiva sent me some … video recommendations,” you explained bashfully, “and – I, uh, I watched some of them and there was one that I really liked and I thought,” you took a deep breath, “I thought we could try it?”

Paz chuckled and shook his head, “Why does it not surprise me that Akiva had some play in this?”

“You don’t find it … weird?” you asked hesitantly, trying to get your heart to stop beating so fast. You had never talked to him about the holovids you watched sometimes when you were all alone and you had never been quite sure if that was a normal thing to do when you were kind of seeing someone.

“What? That you watch porn? Mesh’la, most people do and I will be the last one to forbid you anything you find pleasure in,” you could _hear_ the grin in his words, “Especially if it leads to me being able to touch you again.”

“You, uh, you know I like you touching me, right?” you asked in a murmur, “I – there’s no … I don’t want you to only touch me when there are new … _things_ to explore.”

“I think I knew but … it is different to hear you say it,” he finally admitted, blindly cupping your cheek as his visor was still focussed on the numbers on the display, although you had a feeling he wasn’t concentrating anymore, “And who knows? Maybe you can show me one of your favourite holovids sometime, hm?”

*

You did not really know how the day had passed. You had spent quite a bit of time in the cockpit, just talking, until Paz had decided that the autopilot would take you where you needed to go. It was amusing sometimes because you never saw a difference in flying when he was sitting in the cockpit or when he had the autopilot switched on. Which was a good thing, surely, but you also never understood why he was sittings o long in the chair, not doing anything when he could just as easily put on the autopilot.

Either way, it was soon to boring for you to just remain dozing in the pilot’s chair, especially when he was not there anymore.

Paz was undressed, his armour neatly arranged on one of the crates as well as his outer tunic. He was just dressed in his pants and socks while he was laying on the floor, lifting weights above his torso. Low grunts escaped him at the effort of it and you were rooted to your spot at the door, gaping at him while your face heated up.

He was all sweaty and big and … oh stars, the way the muscles in his back bulged as he pushed himself up from the floor. Your heart dropped in your stomach as you felt yourself becoming wet. You wanted to know what these muscles felt like when you gripped his shoulders, when you held him to you as he pushed inside you, how his whole body would tense when he came inside you …

Your eyes widened in surprise as your thighs clenched. You had never felt it this sudden.

Paz huffed and stood up, only now seeing you in the doorway. His chest was glistening from sweat, heaving with breaths as he tried to calm himself. He tilted his helmet at you. “Everything alright, mesh’la?”

“Now.”

“What?”

“I want to try it now,” you said hoarsely, making a few steps towards him, your eyes fixed on his scars, his muscles, the tendons in his neck that you got to see now.

“Here?” you could see his Adam’s apple bob as he cleared his throat, “But, mesh’la, I’m all sweaty and –“

“Exactly, you breathed out, your chest heaving as you bit your lip, “Please, Paz. I want it … _now_.”

You did not have to tell him a second time. With a growl, he lunged at you, big hands on your ass, pulling you into him while your mouth planted kisses on his chest.

“I will never get enough of you, love,” he hissed through the helmet, his hands cupping your ass before wandering your back to your shoulders.

You could feel him growing against your belly and your hands dipped to his belt, fumbling with it. There was this sudden desire to see him, feel him, taste him. Images filled your head of how he had come on your belly and how, at that moment, you had wanted nothing more than to have him fill your mouth again.

His forehead pressed against yours, his hands massaging your back. “Paz, I wanna try something else too,” you murmured just as you managed to open his pants, “Can I – Can I do that again?”

You wrapped your hand around his cock and moaned at the sight. He was hot and heavy and thick just like you had remembered. Veins were running along his shaft and you could already spot a pearl of precum at the tip.

“Do what? Use your word, mesh’la,” he growled, laying his larger hand over yours to help you stroke him. Stars, it did _things_ to you, seeing him so large and in charge of you. The heat in your belly only intensified as he tightened your grip around him and moaned.

“Can I suck your cock again, Paz?” you asked, ears burning with embarrassment and want, “I promise I want it, I really _really_ want it.”

“Well, if you ask this nicely,” he teased you, leaving your hand o stroke him on your own, “Should I sit down somewhere?”

“No, stay like this,” you said, dropping to your knees unceremoniously. The training mat softened your fall somewhat and was thankfully not as hard as the metal floor underneath it. Grasping the edge of his pants you pulled them down, giving you more access to him.

“Kriffing stars,” he murmured. One hand went to stroke himself while the other tiled your face up, making you look up at him. You had the perfect view of the underside of his cock, it being almost in your face and you swallowed harshly, your hand wandering up his thighs to grasp him.

“Mesh’la … love, this was about you, how … why –“

“Because I want to,” you replied, a hungry look in your eyes, “Because – because all I dreamed about after seeing you come was that I want to taste you again, I want –“

You exhaled sharply as he pulled your face closer to him, his tip bumping against your chin, then your cheek leaving a wet trail behind. You licked a broad stripe along the vein. His tip was already beading precum and you were filled with pride that it was because of you. You had this effect on him.

“Stars,” he groaned, his hands finding their way to the back of your head, “Don’t stop, love.”

You hummed, not intending to stop anytime soon. You wrapped your lips around the tip, lightly sucking on it and swirling your tongue around him. He tasted salty and he sounded divine.

Slowly, you started bobbing your head, trying to take him deeper. You remembered to breathe through your nose, inching him deeper and deeper into your mouth. When he hit your throat, another groan left him that went directly between your thighs.

“Kriff, I love seeing you take me like this,” he mumbled, his thumb stroking over your cheek, “Can I – you wanna take me deeper again, huh?”

With your mouth full of him you only managed a slight nod but it was enough for him to know your answer.

“Good girl,” he praised you, thrusting his hips once, twice until he was so deep you gagged. But instead of pulling away, you put your hands to the back of his thighs, keeping yourself as close to him as possible.

You blinked up at his visor, your mouth stretched to what felt like its limits and swallowed around him. He twitched in your mouth and you moaned. It was intoxicating in a way. Having him at your mercy.

“Know what I love the most about this, mesh’la?” he asked through clenched teeth his fingers moving under your jaw, touching at your throat and you choked, “I know I am not small and you – kriff, every time you let me fuck your throat I can see it. I can _see_ how deep you take me.”

His fingertips pressed lightly against your skin and your eyes flew open. Him pressing against that spot, you could _feel_ your throat tighten around him. It was not uncomfortable but knowing that – that he was so big he could see himself bulge your throat was, kriff, it was _hot_.

“Just like that,” he whispered, “There we go.”

His movements had grown hectic now and you focussed on relaxing your throat, taking him as deeply as possible. You looked at him with wide eyes, tears streaming down your face and swallowed and sucked and moaned around him until he came down your throat.

You could feel his cum filling your mouth but with his cock still in your mouth, it was hard to swallow.

His chest was moving heavily up and down but his hands on your hair tightened, pulling your face from his cock. You gasped for air, a drop of cum spilling out of the corner of your mouth and you immediately closed it, not wanting to make a mess.

But Paz’ hand tilted your head back and up. “Can – can you show me?” he asked quietly and it took you a moment to realize what he meant.

Your ears burned in shame but you wanted to be good for him and so you nodded. Slowly, careful not to spill anything, you opened your mouth wide, showing him the pool of cum in your mouth. The rumble in his chest made all of it worth it.

“Kriffing stars, how lucky can one man be,” he muttered, gently tipping your jaw closed and you swallowed. For a second, everything was quiet between you, your heart beating frantically in your chest, your body trying to catch its breath.

“My turn,” he growled finally, falling to his knees before you. You were still very much out of breath and felt quite dazed. You knew your hair must look a mess, that your cheeks had to be stained from your tares and your lips glossy from a mix of your saliva and his cum. Still, after the pulled his pants up, his hands were gently on your as he pressed you to slowly lay down on the mat.

Before you could blink, he had ripped your clothes off your body, baring you to the cold air on the ship. It made you nipples harden even more, made your thighs clench in anticipation, made your breath catch in your throat as his large hand spanned around your ribs.

“So, this is what you fantasised about, huh?” he asked, coming down to lay next to you. He was leaning on his side so he was still towering over you and you felt like he was caging you in. Instinctively, you angled your body towards him, offering yourself towards his touch.

You bit your lip and nodded.

His hand wandered between your wet thighs and he pressed one finger inside you. Slowly, as if to test if you would give way for him. And by the stars you did.

You moaned and spread your legs further. Feeling _his_ fingers inside you was different somehow. Of course, you had had your own fingers before and the toy too. But this – this was another person, not just a toy, and that person made your heart beat faster. You looked up at his visor helplessly as he leaned over you. His finger was still gently moving in and out of you, sometimes leaving you to spread your wetness up to your clit.

“Does that feel good?” he asked, his voice sounding strained.

You nodded wordlessly, angling your hips so he would hit just a little bit different – a little _deeper_ – but his movements were and remained shallow and you whined.

“More please,” you gasped, “I – another finger …”

“Whatever you want,” he replied, his forehead pressing against yours. The metal felt col against your overheated skin but you loved how sought out your closeness. How, even with his fingers in your pussy, he still wanted to be close.

But then his hand left your body and your brows furrowed in protest. Your walls clenched around nothing and a small whine escaped you at the loss.

“I want to sit differently,” he explained, shifting his position. He sat up fully now and spread his legs wide before gently pulling you in between them. You just let him do this thing, happy as long as his hands were on you.

When he was happy with your seating, you were leaning with your back against his chest, your legs spread so wide they were almost hooked over his broad thighs. The best part, though, was that now he had two hands free to play with you. And play with you he did.

Immediately, one hand came up to cup your breast as his thumb and forefinger started to roll a pebbled nipple between them,

The other hand wandered down your belly to your pussy, continuing where he had left off. You mewled as he proceeded to push two fingers inside of you. There stretch was definitely there now and for a moment you were worried that it might hurt even with how embarrassingly wet you were. But his thumb immediately found your clit, circling over it and distracting you until your walls had adjusted to the new size of him inside you.

“Good?” he asked, tweaking your nipple between thumb and forefinger again, a little harder this time. You only managed to nod breathlessly, elated that you had tried this. How had you never experienced this before? How could you have missed this?

“Look at that,” he marvelled, slipping his fingers along your bottom lip. You whined as he dragged them away, chasing his digits with an open mouth. You wanted to taste him on your tongue again.

“I didn’t know you had an oral fixation, love,” Paz chuckled, returning his fingers to your lips.

Your tongue darted out to lick at the skin, “A what?”

“An oral fixation,” he repeated, “It’s when something really _really_ likes having things in their mouth,” he emphasized, just as your lips closed around his fingertips.

Your eyes widened in realization. You were not sure if that was exactly what this was but he was also … not wring.

“Or perhaps you are giving me a fixation on your mouth,” he cursed, “Stars, one day I’m gonna stuff my fingers in your mouth while your pussy’s stuffed with my cock, how does that sound?”

 _Good_ , you wanted to answer, _really good_. But then his fingers started moving again. Your eyes rolled back in your head and fluttered closed just as your mouth hung open. Breathless gasps were escaping you around Paz’ fingers on your tongue which he had not moved away. Instead, he curled his fingers inside of you and you moaned. Loud.

Your back arched as you turned your head to bury it in the crook of his neck.

“More,” you asked around his fingers, “Please, Paz, please, more, I need –“

“Use your words, mesh’la,” he teased you, pushing his fingers on that spot that made you see stars, “Be a good girl and use your words, yes?”

“Please let me have your cock,” you begged him, pushing your hips down against his hand, “Please I’ll be so good, I promise, I don’t – I don’t need anything special, I just – I just need you.”

Behind you, he chuckled, pulling his fingers out of you only to push them right back in, making you keen. “So greedy,” he chastised you, “So needy for my cock when I already told you, you won’t get it here on the ship.”

You whined, “But I – I promise I’ll be good –!”

“I know you will be good,” he assured you, his fingers scissoring inside you, making your breath hitch at the stretch, “I know you will be such a good girl when I fuck you, won’t you? Oh mesh’la, I can’t wait to see your face when I make you cum on my cock …”

“Feels so good,” you mumbled, gasping when he pressed further inside of you, “You – it feels so good, please don’t stop.”

Paz’ helmet pressed against your temple, a cold metal kiss, as he murmured in your ear. “Good girl,” he whispered, his thumb brushing over your clit, making you twitch, “Letting me hear how you enjoy yourself.”

You spread your legs further for him, sucking on his fingers and reaching your own hand up to your breast while the other grasped at his thigh. His chest was warm against your back and although the ship was cold it felt like your body was burning.

“C’mon, love, come for me, you’re doing so good,” he whispered in your ears, “Tell me what you need, I only want to make you feel good.”

His fingers slipped out of your mouth and down to join his other hand. He spread you lower lips apart, granting him more access and your world was spinning.

“M-More clit please,” you asked him. You were emboldened by his words, no longer feeling shy when he was asking you what you wanted and he immediately followed your plea.

His thumb started rubbing circles over your clit, stimulating you to the extreme. That’s when it hit you.

Waves of pleasure washed over you, carrying you onto the clouds between the stars, making your whole body feel calm and numb and floating.

Paz’ hands did not leave you.

They only slowed their movements, riding you through your high before leaving you. You could see his fingers glisten in the light as he wiped them on his trousers. You were so weary now, your body feeling kind of heavy and ready for a nap even though it was not even time for lunch yet.

But Paz made no movements to stand up either. He just wrapped his arms around you, pulling you more into him and dipping his helmet against your temple. The movement was so tended it made you smile.

You tilted your head up to kiss his neck, his chest, wherever you could reach, “Thank you, Paz.”

“Thank _you_ ,” he replied, gruffly. He leaned his head back, subtly giving you more access to his throat which you immediately used to explore him with kisses, “You were kriffing amazing, mesh’la. It’s barely midday and you almost sucked the life out of me.”

You giggled at how tired and surprised he sounded at the same time. Slowly, he leant back until he was lying flat on the training mat, pulling you with him. You hummed contently, not minding your state of undress when one large hand came to the small of your back, caressing the skin there. You placed your head on his chest, drawing patterns across the scars you found there.

Your eyes drooped closed and you could feel how his breath evened out too. It was so peaceful and calm with the white noise of the humming engine around you. At the edge of your consciousness, you could feel how his other hand grabbed yours on his chest. He took hold of your fingers and gently led them to the edge of his helmet.

Your breath hitched in your throat as he guided them to the small gap, making your fingers brush against his skin and his lips. You could feel his hot breath against your skin and you swore your heart

He pressed a gentle kiss against your fingertips. “You deserve the world, love,” he whispered and you could feel his lips move against your skin, “And I aim to be deserving of you one day.”

“You already are, Vizsla,” you murmured, kissing his chest, “Do you think we have time for a pre-lunch nape?”

He laughed, a full belly laugh that made his and your body shake, “Yes we do, mesh’la.”

*

_“You deserve the world, love, and I aim to be deserving of you one day.”_

His words echoed in your mind still. Whenever you had time to drift off in thoughts, his voice was right there, making your heart beat faster just like it had at that moment.

You hummed, polishing your blaster before making sure that the safety was really on and putting it back in the weapons crate. It had been a day since your rather … spontaneous delving into new territory. After a prolonged nap on Paz’ chest, you had eaten some lunch and spent the day in the cockpit, reading or talking or just looking at the stars.

All the while his mumbled words had bounced around your head on endless repeat.

_“You deserve the world, love, and I aim to be deserving of you one day.”_

Did this mean what you thought it meant?

Could it be that he really, truly, felt for you what you felt for him? Not a physical desire but an emotional connection?

You had been mulling over for his words for what felt like an eternity and yet there had not been a real chance to talk to him about it. Since this morning, when you had greeted him freshly showered and dressed, at breakfast, he had been suspiciously silent only a grunting sound escaping him when he had seen you.

And you wanted to know why.

As you stepped into the cockpit, Paz only fleetingly looked at you before turning back to the dashboard. Humming and beeping from the engines filled the air and you tilted your head to the side.

Again, you heard this strange choking sound from him, like he was clearing his throat beneath the helmet. When you looked at him closer, he was awkwardly looking straight out of the windows. From the stiffness in his back, it was obvious that he was actively avoiding your gaze and your heart plummeted.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, mesh’la”, he replied, not turning around. But he was not able to fool you. Especially not when it came to this.

“That’s a lie and you know it,” you said, “You have been barely talking all day. I just – please tell me what it is and then I leave you in peace.”

“… your skirt.”

“My … _skirt_?”

“It’s the one you wore when,” he cleared his throat, “When you first went down on me, mesh’la. Ever since I saw you this morning I could barely concentrate, my head is just filled with … with these thoughts.”

“And – what kind of thoughts?”

Paz did not answer. He just sat in his pilot chair, stoically facing the window as the stars reflected on his visor.

“Paz,” you repeated quietly but determined. Your heart was pounding in your chest and you felt like you were going to be sick from nervousness. But this was Paz. Hearing him so freely admit that – that you turned him on was refreshing, it was exciting and you wanted more.

So, you walked closer to him until you stood right by his side. His visor turned up to look at you, his hands clenched on his thighs.

“I thought about you on your knees like that night,” he stated and your breath caught in your throat, “I thought about how pretty you looked with my cum on your face, how you swallowed it all up like a good girl that you are. I thought about how you begged for my cock yesterday, how you let me touch you.”

His hands relaxed as he switched on the autopilots and instead turned to you. Large fingers settled on your skin as he guided you into his lap without any apparent effort. Your eyes were wide as you straddled him, gliding your hands up his chest plate to the edge of his collar.

“I – I think about it too.”

“You do?” he sounded genuinely surprised beneath that beskar helmet.

You bit your lip and nodded. You wanted to tell him in detail about the things you had dreamed of but suddenly you felt a little shy and so you continued to play with the fabric of his collar. But his hands on your hips tightened and pulled you closer to him. With your skirt now gathered high up on your thighs you could feel him already half-hard in the confines of his pants which only spurred you on.

“I think about how big you were,” you whispered, “I – I liked how you just guided me through it, how you praised me how you made me feel safe, I – “, you exhaled sharply, “I liked when you called me a good girl.”

Paz groaned.

It was a loud sound that cut through the quiet humming of the ship but it did not startle you. It only made you carve to hear more. His hands pushed you down onto him and it was like you could feel him growing. You hummed with a lazy smile, grinding down onto him again and enjoying the feeling of him so close.

His body heat alone made you shiver and knowing what lay beneath that armour only made it better.

“The things you do to me, mesh’la” he murmured, “Can’t wait to show you the tribe, show you my home, you will love it, fit right in, and then I can take you on the bed as you deserve.”

His words made you wetter than you could put into words and as you continued to grind against each other you were sure that he had to feel the heat from your core. Somehow, your shirt was pulled to the side, baring one breast but then it was not enough. You wanted his touch, wanted to be as close as possible. His hands on your hips flexed as you leaned back, unbuttoning it on your own before discarding it somewhere behind you.

“Stars, look at you,” he praised you, big hands wandering up to tweak your nipples, making you gasp, “Undressing just for me, hm?”

“How would I deserve it?” you asked instead, leaning into him and scrambling to somehow get his shirt up, so you could touch some skin.

“Gentle,” he whispered while you could feel the ghost of his helmet along your neck, “Gentle and loving and soft and then, when you feel up to it, you deserve to be fucked into the mattress until the only name you can say is mine.”

Your hands fiddled with his pants only spurred on by the image she put in your head. When you finally had them open, you already knew your pupils were dilating as soon as you saw his cock. He was big, bigger than you remembered, and you whimpered at the feeling of him in your hand.

His hands left your chest wandering _down down down_ until they could pull your panties to the side. Rough fingers ran fingers through your folds.

“You are so wet but I’m still too big for you now, mesh’la,” he murmured, as if to himself.

Then, one broad hand went down to your pussy and spread your lips apart much like yesterday. You gasped in surprise, not having expected to be this exposed. For a moment you wanted to ask him what he was doing, if he was going to finger you again, but then you decided against it. You had a feeling that whatever he would do – it would be good.

And it was.

With your lower lips still spread, he pulled you up his belly until his shaft was trapped in between his stomach and your wetness. Your eyes bulged out of your head. You had never been this close. He was hot against you, smooth and hard and stars when he started moving you along his shaft your whole body shuddered.

He was so much closer now you could almost imagine this would be the real thing.

Your breath came in heavy pants as your body tried to work through these new and overwhelming sensations. You bunched your skirt up in one of your hands, holding it up to your chest as to not have it in the way. Your eyes fixated on the way his shaft disappeared underneath your pussy, how it glistened from your wetness.

“How does it look?” his deep voice asked you, his hips rising off the chair for a moment to push you harder against him.

“Big,” you murmured, not taking your eyes off him, “And … good, kriff Paz it feels so good. Don’t stop, please …”

His head rubbed deliciously against your clit and your whole body spasmed. His hands fell to your ass pushing and pulling you, taking the work away from you. Your head sank to his shoulder and you turned your face so you could whimper into his neck. It was all so good, so overwhelming, so new, so big.

“You are doing so good for me,” he hissed into your ear.

A slap to your ass made you jump in surprise. But soon the sting turned into pleasure and you found yourself arching into him, pushing your ass out for _more_. But Paz did not indulge a second time. Instead, he began guiding your moves again, pushing you along his dick, the movement smoothed by your wetness and his precum.

Pretty soon you had figured out the rhythm both of you needed and began to move your hips on your own accord, hoping that his hands would be free now.

“It is all I need,” he sensed your need and gave you another spank and you keened, “you on my dick and the stars around us. All I need, I swear.”

With the last bit of effort, you could muster, you pulled his collar down and started to kiss his skin wherever you could reach. His groan went straight to your core and you could feel yourself clench around nothing as you drowned him in your wetness.

The approaching orgasm made your body stiffen and loosen at the same time. While your head was overrun with words and images, no words would leave your mouth so instead, you clawed at his skin, sinking your teeth into the flesh of his shoulder.

“You gonna cum for me?” he asked breathlessly, his hands now moving you along again, taking control of everything and you let him, “Be a good girl and cum on my cock. C’mon, you can do it, can’t you?”

“Paz”, you moaned into his neck. Your body went stiff as your world exploded behind your eyelids.

You did not want to imagine the wet mess between your legs as your body went slack, falling right into him. You let him move you as he praised you, whispering filthy words in the most tender of tones.

This was the first time where you felt him ready to cum. He grew harder, hotter if that was not a product of your imagination, and with a groan, he pushed you so close his blunt tip caught at our entrance as he came. You gasped at the feeling. Not only of him so close but also of the sticky fluid between your lower lips.

Your ears heated up as you spotted a few drops on his stomach as well. Heavy breathing filled the room and you watched as one of his hands came from your ass to your hip, his thumb spanning all the way to your clit, rubbing his cum right into your bundle of nerves.

“Kriff, can’t wait to mark you up,” he grunted, his chest heaving. You whimpered at the slight overstimulation as you slowly became aware f your surroundings. His pants were still just pulled to under his knees. Your skirt was bunched up to your hips, your chest still completely exposed. You had never felt this chaotic and yet you would not change it for the world.

“That was – “ you tried to find your voice.

“Amazing,” he finished for you, his other hand softly rubbing on your back. “You are amazing, mesh’la.”

“Will you tell me what it means? That word you’ve been calling me?”

His hand on your back slowly wandered over your side to your face, gently cradling your cheek. You closed your eyes and smiled at the tender touch.

“It means beautiful,” he explained softly, his rough thumb brushing over your cheek, “You are beautiful.”

Your heart stopped before it started to race again. But as you shifted, a loud squelching sounded from the fluids between you, destroying any chance at romance. You winced, the pressure on your folds a little too much and Paz chuckled.

“Looks like we made a mess,” he joked, carefully lifting your off his lap. Your skirt fell over your legs and as you pulled up your panties they covered the stickiness but still, you felt … icky.

“Let’s clean up,” he suggested, “and then I will make you dinner, does that sound good?”

“It sounds very good,” you smiled, quickly leaning down to press a kiss against his beskar cheek before rushing to the refresher.

*

A quick shower and a change of clothes later, you returned to the small kitchenette. Like that one morning, Paz had laid out some food for you – a few ration bars, fruit and even a steaming mug of soup.

Your heart warmed at how meticulous he had set it up. And it warmed even more when you saw a little wilted flower lying in the middle of it – his attempt at a romantic setting within this metal ship.

“I already ate,” he explained as he saw you lingering on the empty space on the table, “With the helmet and all … it can be quite difficult.”

Your smile was so wide you were scared to scare him with your enthusiasm. But – he was just so sweet. Setting everything up, putting a kriffing flower on the table. How would you ever be able to not love him?

As you sat down, he followed suit, settling down on the chair opposite you. It occurred to you, at that moment, that even though you had spent a lot of time together, you had never really sat down at the table together. It felt weirdly special now. Like a date.

“What’s your job in the tribe?”

“Huh?”

“Well,” you munched on a piece of bread, “I am not sure if Din actually ever said that you were a bounty hunter, I just always assumed you were.”

He chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest, looking casual and relaxed. “I am not a bounty hunter, I am a teacher.”

That did not surprise you at all. Actually, it made you grin because it was exactly what you had thought of when he had taught you how to shoot.

“You do not look surprised.”

“That’s because I’m not.”

“Why?”

“Because you were so patient with me when you taught me how to swim,” you explained, still smiling softly, “and you knew exactly what to say when you explained the weapons to me. It was clear that this wasn’t your first time.”

He huffed out a laugh, the sound slightly crackling through the filter, “You’re very observant, mesh’la,” answered carefully, “I do teach some of our aspiring warriors in the covert. I make sure that the next generation is as protected as this one, if not more.”

“Will you go back to work when we’re at the tribe?” you asked curiously.

“Probably,” he shrugged, “We won’t be there for long, though, and I – I want to show you the life there, maybe I could take you with me to some classes if you’d like?”

You smiled gently at him. You were sure that you must look utterly in love with him and you were. “I’d like that very much, Paz.”

“Good,” he murmured, leaning forward in his seat, brushing over your hand on the table, “That’s good, mesh’la.”

Hearing him call you that, brought something else to the forefront of your mind. Your ears heated up at the thought but you needed to ask him, needed to be sure of what he had said.

“So, mesh’la means beautiful,” you echoed, your heart bursting as you thought about how long he had been calling you that.

“It does,” his fingers brushed over your palm. His voice sounded soft and you wished you could just curl up into his chest again. It had become your favourite place. “Wished I could have told you that earlier.”

“How much earlier?”

“From the first moment I met you I knew you were something special,” you could hear the amusement in his voice, “the way you waved that blade in front of my face, I will never forget.”

“I thought you were an intruder,” you tried to defend yourself, laughing, “If I had known … I never would have done that. Din just didn’t tell me that you would be coming.”

“Sounds like Din,” he muttered. After a moment of silence, he added, “I … I actually was worried that you might be intimated by me because of … my size.”

“Your size never scared me, Paz,” you whispered, “it – um I find it very attractive, to be honest.”

“You do?” he asked, obviously pleased with himself. His back straightened and his chest puffed out and had you not been so embarrassed by admitting your very early attraction to him, you would have laughed at his demeanour.

“I do,” you said and leant forward, resting your chin on your hands and looking at him with a playful smile. The ship was humming around you, there was good food on the table and Paz in front of you.

Now you only needed to tell him you loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello on tumblr! @maybege I also have a lot of Paz asks and blurbs on there that probably won't be published here as well as updates on when the new parts will be posted :)


	8. Reciprocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For your mission on Corellia and your journey to the covert, you get a new addition to your travel party; collecting the supplies does not go quite as smoothly as you’d hoped and Paz decides to ask you for something he wants to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so so excited for you all to read this chapter! I hope you all like it as much as I do, please let me know what you think! For those who might have missed it: The Favour is now on a bi-weekly update schedule which means the next update will be on November 9.
> 
> Warnings: explicit sexual content, jealous!Paz, use of blindfolds, oral sex (f receiving), handjob, dirty talk, soft!Paz, yearning and softness

Corellia was as dirty and seedy as you always heard it was.

You had not even left the ship yet and you already wanted to leave this forsaken planet. Why couldn’t the supplies be stored somewhere … nicer? Somewhere safer?

Paz was still getting ready. He had spent the remaining hour before the landing with sorting different weapons and checking his armour again and again. It was interesting to watch him. It reminded you of the time before you both had started to travel together. Back then, he had been just preparing for missions with Cara and Din. But now, he kept looking at you too, brushing his hands against your when he was reaching for you, keeping you entertained with small talk.

It filled you with a warmth you could not yet describe, this … domesticity.

The spaceport he had landed in was incredibly busy and crowded. Everyone looked like they were ready to shoot each other constantly and it smelled, your nose scrunched up, it smelled horrible. As soon as you had made your way down the ramp, you made it your mission to stay close to him. You did not like the look of any of this.

In the shadow of the ship, Paz remained standing there, occasionally checking his vambrace. In a nervous gesture, you pulled your scarf closer around your shoulders. You wanted to ask him what was going on, why you did not move, when you heard footsteps getting closer.

“You’re late,” a voice said from behind you, clearly aimed at Paz. You whirled around, stepping even closer to him. It was a young man that had joined you. You did not know him but he seemed at ease around you as he added with a grin, “And _you_ are pretty.”

“And you are?” you asked, the confusion clear in your voice.

The newcomer was clearly armed and you had never been so relieved to feel Paz’ beskar clad chest against your back. As your eyes roamed over the man you noticed that, strangely enough, he was wearing Mandalorian armour too. He still lacked a helmet but the rest, the chest plate, the shoulder pauldrons, was distinctly Mandalorian.

Despite your clear hostility, the young man grinned happily at the both of you, absolutely not disturbed nor intimidated by your words.

Behind you, Paz said something in Mando’a which you did not understand but at least the boy’s grin disappeared immediately and he straightened his posture.

Paz put his hand on your back, “Mesh’la, this is Krok, he’s one of us. He’s training to become a warrior.”

The boy, or rather, _Krok_ , looked confused from the big blue man to you. “Mesh’la?” he echoed, “does that mean you ...?”

Your ears burned from embarrassment. Now that you knew what it meant, you also knew that Krok knew it too. Having Paz call you that in public in front of another member of his tribe made you feel giddy but also a little shy. You did not know him but he immediately knew how significant you were to Paz.

“It does not matter what it means,” Paz interjected, not taking his hand from your back, “what matters is that we get the supplies as quickly as possible and then we get out of here. Did you do what I asked you to?”

Krok’s eyes lit up as he nodded eagerly and you smiled at how excited he was. “Yes! I’ve got the route all mapped out,” he explained, “The troopers don’t really diverge from their assigned patrols unless there’s a commotion going on.”

He pushed a few buttons on his vambrace and a map lit up in the space in front of you. “As long as we avoid those, we should be in the clear,” Krok pointed out a few marked routes on the map, indicating the trooper’s usual locations.

“What if we encounter them anyway?” you asked reluctantly, the plan sounding too good to be true.

Krok seemed to be surprised at your questioni, probably not having excepted the small companion of the Great Paz Vizsla to actually question him. But he gathered his wits quickly, “They’re not always armed. They are weak. They just don’t want you to know it.”

He looked towards Paz expectantly and you suppressed your smile at how badly he seemed to want to impress Paz. Having experienced him as _your_ Paz these last few weeks, all soft and cosy and domestic, it was funny to see him being respected as this authority figure that was to be feared.

But neither Paz nor Krok seemed to notice the detour your thought process had taken. Paz only nodded once towards Krok, signalising his approval before turning towards you. From a holster in his hip, he got out your blaster. “You remember my lesson?”

You nodded and took the weapon from him, fastening it on your hip.

“Alright, so the warehouse is just around that corner,” Paz explained, pointing to the exact location on Krok’s map, “We’ve got the speeder to transport the goods, I will be the one driving it back to the ship, it draws too much attention if we all do it. Krok, you will get her back to the ship – _safely_ , understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

*

You drove to the warehouse together on the little speeder that Krok had organized. The atmosphere was tense although not really negative. You could feel Krok vibrating with excitement next to you as he bobbed his knee up and down, up and down up and – Paz’ hand brushed against yours. You smiled, stretching your fingers out encouragingly until he fully grabbed your hand in his.

“Just two hours and then we will be back on the ship,” he tried to soothe you, slightly squeezing your hand. You could not _wait_ to get out of here.

When you finally arrived at the doors of that warehouse, you breathed a silent sigh of relief. You had not seen a glimpse of the troopers and you could not be more thankful.

There were guards stationed in front of the complex that looked no less intimidating than any troopers you might encounter though. But they did not say anything as Paz handed them the data crystal that Umino had given him on Cantonica.

Entering the building, the first thing you noticed was how huge it was. You could only faintly imagine the ceiling at the top. There were crates everywhere, stacked into unimaginable heights and you saw more than one armed guard patrolling through the rows.

You wondered if all of the crates you saw were really just supplies. Probably not. Umino’s reputation as a notorious drug lord surely did not come from nowhere. It probably came from right here.

Paz slowly drove the speeder into the warehouse and to the row the guards walked him to. There, below a few hanging lights, dozens of crates had been stacked on top of each other, clearly labelled as _Vizsla Supplies_.

Paz and Krok hopped off the speeder and started to get to work on the bigger crates. In the meantime, you took the slightly smaller ones and carried them to the speeder as well. Together, you three were quick to load up all the boxes until nothing was left.

With his hands stemmed into his hips, Krok grinned from ear to ear at the image before him. You could not see Paz’ face but the pure joy on Krok’s face worried you. How badly must the tribe be in need that they were so happy for a few more supplies?

“Alright, we got everything, I will drive to ship and get everything loaded up,” Paz announced, his hand resting on the blaster by his hip as he stood in front of the controls. He looked hard and cold, standing up there all alone while you were still standing a few paces away with Krok by your side.

“I’ll see you in a few,” he nodded towards you before driving off through the doors into the busy streets. His silhouette was swallowed up by the grimy darkness and hooded figures and you sighed.

Next to you, Krok seemed as chipper as ever, “Let’s go then, race you to the gates?”

You did not say anything.

When you reached the gates to the outside, Paz was already long gone and like the lovesick puppy that you were, your heart ached for him. You would feel much safer with him by your side instead of the youngster that skipped next to you like this was an exciting class trip.

Did he even know what was at risk? Did he know the danger you were running from?

Walking through an array of dark back alleys did not make it better. You knew that Krok was leading you through the narrow streets because that way you would be able to make sure no one could follow you that easily. But all you could think of were troopers waiting at the end, caging you in with nowhere to escape. And Paz would not even know …

“So, how do you know Paz?” you asked in an attempt to distract yourself from the negative feelings that threatened to take a hold of you.

Krok was quick to answer, almost stumbling over his words in excitement, “He’s been training me since I was a boy, he’s awesome! This is my first mission on my own and my buir says that if I do my job well, maybe Paz could take me on for more difficult tasks.”

“He seems to be very important in the tribe,” you mumbled distractedly, taking a right turn and breathing a sigh of relief when you saw no one else at the end of the street.

“He is! He is the most badass warrior we ever had, I heard he defeated a whole troop of stormies on his own!” Krok continued, “When we had to leave, he was the one organizing it with the Armourer, he wouldn’t leave until the ships were full.”

Your steps faltered. He had been one of the last ones to leave his home? Your heart broke at hearing this, at imagining it. Because you could see Paz do that too well. You could see him making sure everyone was safe until he would bring himself to safety. It spoke of his character, of who he was, but you also thanked the stars that he had survived. Where would you be now if you had never met him?

“So how do _you_ know, Paz?” Krok asked you curiously as you continued your way through the labyrinth of alleys.

As you stepped through the mouth of the street you recognized that you had reached spaceport from the other side. You could even spot the ship from afar!

But before you could make your way to Paz and ultimately avoid the question Krok had posed you, you heard some rhythmic steps and panicked. Because there, heading right towards you, was a group of troopers, doing what seemed to be a patrol.

Quick hands grabbed you and pulled you back into the alley as Krok tried to keep you both out of their visions.

“They can’t see me,” you gasped out, your heart beating so fast it hurt, “They can’t see me, they’ll think the little one is here and –“

The steps came closer and closer and it felt like you would pass out from nervousness at any moment. Krok did not seem to fare any better, his eyes open wide in shock as he seemed to think of possible solutions.

“Can I kiss you?” he blurted out.

“ _What_?”

“They won’t pay attention to us, public displays of affection make people uncomfortable,” he hissed quickly, his eyes jumping to where the troopers came closer, “I learned that from Paz.”

The thumping grew closer, you could hear their voices clearly now. Paz had taught him. Paz had trained him and trusted him with you. That had to say something, right?

As the white armoured men entered the alleyway, you grabbed Krok by his shoulders and pulled him towards you. The young man caught on immediately and pressed you into the wall so as to shield your body from view.

He kissed you, then, and you reciprocated, highly aware of how the troopers walked past you, chatting among themselves. Krok’s lips moved sloppily against yours and you did not like it in the least. The worst thing was that all you could think about was that Paz would be a better kisser. If you ever got to kiss him, that was.

When the troopers had gained some distance to you, Krok’s lips stopped moving but his hands remained on your shoulders, just waiting for the enemy to disappear completely. As their footsteps grew quieter all you could hear was your heavy breathing and you opened your eyes, wanting to make sure they were completely gone before hurrying towards Paz.

You wanted nothing more than to be in his arms and leave this horrible, horrible planet.

You heard Krok yelp and then, he had suddenly disappeared.

Your body flinched in fright, the reaction too delayed, when your eyes found him again, right next to you, suddenly a bit higher than before.

“I told you not to touch her,” Paz growled, pressing him against the wall by his throat, “And you dare lay a hand on her?”

Krok mumbled something, his hands desperately trying to free himself. But Paz would not hear any of it. He replied something in Mando’a, low and dangerous, and the anger radiating off him was palpable in the air.

“Paz, stop, he didn’t do anything against my will,” you tried to explain gently, touching his upper arm and trying to move him away, “I wanted him to.”

That seemed to get him out of his rage. Paz’ body immediately relaxed, letting Krok go who fell to the ground with a cough. Slowly, his visor turned towards you and your breath caught in your throat.

“You – you _wanted_ him to kiss you?”

The absolute pain in his voice wrecked you. He sounded so hurt, so defeated, that for a moment you wondered if he had been shot from somewhere. But then your brain caught up with you.

“Well … no, not like that;” you rushed to assure him, your hand gliding down his arm to hold his hand, “But he didn’t force himself on me either.”

You went on to explain more, to tell him about the troopers and how they could not see you under any circumstances but Krok interrupted you with a cough.

“We need to get back,” he wheezed out, “The sooner the better. They could come back at any moment.”

Paz did not say anything more on the matter, only turning around and starting to walk back to the ship. But he did not let go of your hand.

Only when the ramp was safely locked up behind you, did he let go of you, his fingers brushing against yours. Now that you were safely inside, out of any immediate danger from the troopers, you could see that he had unloaded all of the supplies already. In fact, you had never seen the hull so full of crates that you could barely find a path through them.

That was probably why he had come for you, it shot through your head, your involuntary detour must have taken quite some time. Enough time, at least, for him to be done with everything and to grow worried for you.

Only to find you kissing someone else.

Paz did not say anything as he busied himself with getting the ship ready for take-off. But he did not need to say anything for you to notice how tense he was, as if he had all these emotions bottled up in his chest. It bothered you, knowing he was uncomfortable and you couldn’t do anything against it. If you had been alone right now, at least you would have been able to sit him down, to talk to him in private. But with Krok present, it seemed like all three of you were caged in this uncomfortable atmosphere with no outlet for it.

Speaking of Krok, the young man did not say anything either. Gone was the happy demeanour from a few moments before, instead, he was sitting on a crate, all pale and shuffling his feet in shame. He looked like a kicked puppy and you could not help but pity him. He had spoken so full of admiration of Paz, to think that the large warrior was angry with him must have taken quite a toll on him.

As Paz left for the cockpit and Krok followed him, you took the chance to escape to the refresher. With the swishing of the door behind you, you were finally completely alone. Your hands trembled as you washed your face, more than happy to finally get the grime of the planet off you and the taste of Krok off your lips. You just wanted to leave this day behind you already.

When you felt the ship start to move underneath you, you could not help but be relieved. Paz had not revealed where the covert was but you were sure it would take a while to get there. Enough time for you to talk to him in peace and explain the situation.

It had never occurred to you that you might get in a situation where Paz would be jealous. He was always so calm, so controlled in everything he did and … it was just you, wasn’t it? Him being jealous required a certain amount of affection he had to hold for you but more you thought of it the more it seemed plausible. The hurt in his voice, the aggression towards Krok, paired with the fact that he had wanted to kiss you, had told you about it – Paz Vizsla was jealous.

And you were determined to talk to him about it.

When you entered the cockpit, a little cleaner and a little less emotional, you spotted Krok slumped on the co-pilot’s chair. The tension in the air was palpable and you knew that Paz was grumpy just from the way he sat in his chair, all straight and business.

Krok did a double-take when he saw you standing in the doorway. And when you motioned for him to leave you and Paz alone he seemed all too happy to comply. You heard him mumble something about the inventory before he brushed past you with a nervous smile. Now it was just the two of you, alone in the quiet of the cockpit.

“I would like to talk about what happened back there,” you started softly, sitting down on the chair that just seconds ago had been occupied by Krok, “W-Were you jealous?”

“What,” he scoffed, “I wasn’t jealous I was just – I was – not that.”

The way in which he so easily dismissed your question let you deflate immediately. What little confidence and hopes you had had been crushed into dust. Maybe … maybe he did not like you that much then, the anxious part of your brain contributed, maybe he _didn’t_ like you enough to be jealous?

“Oh, sorry, I just thought, well I thought maybe –“ you trailed off, so embarrassed that your assumption had been proven wrong that you stood up, ready to leave.

Large hands on your hips hindered your leaving though and you stood frozen. Slowly, he pulled you back to him until you sat down in his lap. His arms gently wrapped around your waist and you started to think that maybe he liked having you close like this. Almost automatically your arms went around his neck, pulling yourself closer to him.

Paz sighed heavily, his forehead coming to bump against yours. “I’m a fool, mesh’la. I was not jealous, not at first when I thought he had put his hands on you against your will,” he admitted, “But when you said that you had wanted him to kiss you,” his hands flexed on your waist, “I _was_ jealous. So very much. Because – Because I cannot kiss you just like that and I want to. I want to kiss you someday and I know that there is a way but it’s complicated and when I saw you two I just – there are others who can just kiss you whenever they want, who _you_ can kiss whenever you want. I cannot offer that to you right now.”

Hearing him so vulnerable, it made your heart ache. He _wanted_ to kiss you. He _was_ jealous. He _did_ care about you. The way he admitted all of this as if he had truly believed that you would just … leave him now that you could kiss someone else. As if the only reason you were with him was that you had no other option available.

“Paz,” you whispered, leaning your forehead against his helmet, “It doesn’t matter who else I would be able to kiss when – when I only want to kiss you,” your hands brushed along his neck, finding that gap in the cowl and burying your fingers beneath the fabric to trace patterns along his skin.

His hands gripped you tighter, pulled you even closer as he let out a shuddering breath, “You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that.”

“I can say it again and again, if you want me to,” you offered quietly with a smile on your lips, “Tell me how I can make you feel better.”

He shifted underneath you, his hand disappearing from your hip to rummage in a small bag that had been placed on the dashboard.

“There is … something I would like to try,” he held up a long piece of fabric, looking at you expectedly. Your eyebrows furrowed for a moment – did he want you to sew something? – until you realized what it was. A blindfold. He wanted to blindfold you.

It made sense the more you thought about it, of course. You were not allowed to see his face under any circumstances. But if you could not see, then he could kiss you, right? Stars, he could kiss you. He could _kiss_ you.

Your heart skipped a beat (or two) and you wished Krok was there to make a misplaced joke just so you could be sure that this was real, that you weren’t dreaming.

Meanwhile, Paz seemed to interpret your silence in a wholly different direction. “Only if you trust me, only if you want to,” he assured you, lowering the long piece of fabric on his lap, “But I – I would like to kiss you, I would like to … _reciprocate_ the pleasure you have given me.”

The meaning of his words was clear. He had taught you how to give a blowjob and now he wanted to pleasure you in the same way. You were too shocked to really say anything, so you settled for a quick nod. How could your mouth be too dry and too wet at the same time?

But despite the racing of your heart and the nervous pit in your stomach, you knew you wanted it. You wanted to kiss him and you wanted to feel his mouth on your skin – on every part of it.

“That,” you swallowed thickly, “That sounds good.”

“You sure?” he asked, concern colouring his voice, “I don’t want you to do this just because of my feelings, mesh’la.”

Leave it to Paz to be worried about you again. You stood up, walking to the door of the cockpit to get a head start. Your legs felt shaky at the prospect of finally being able to kiss him but you had also never felt this determined.

“Paz, you have no idea how much I want this, I –“ you sighed in frustration, any eloquence escaping you, “please, okay?”

Before you could blink, Paz was standing in front of you, crowding you towards the exit as his chest rumbled, “If that’s so, then I’d suggest you go back to our room and I will quickly check in with Krok, yeah?”

You nodded breathlessly, your eyes wide and your tongue darting out to wet your lips. Then you turned around and walked to his – your room. _Our room_ , he had said.

It made your heart flutter as the doors opened and you were faced with what was now your room too. It should not be such a surprise since Krok had been allowed to settle in what used to be your room. But Paz verbally acknowledging that this was your shared space made you feel strangely warm.

The room itself was still cold and quiet as always whereas you felt way too hot and filled to the brim with anticipation. You were nervous. And excited. This whole situation was oddly similar to how all of this had started. Only now he had been the one to ask and you were the one exposing yourself.

Had he felt like that too, that night? Vulnerable and afraid but also so very excited?

Sitting on the bed, all by yourself, you were able to hear Paz’ talking to Krok, telling him that the two of you would retire early.

The implication that you would stay in the room for quite some excited you. It made you clench your thighs. What had he planned for you? Was he really going to spend all night with you in the bed? Was he going to pleasure you for just as long?

Worse things could happen.

You had barely registered his heavy footsteps nearing the door when he entered and the door behind him closed. It was so quiet, both of you too nervous to really say anything. You stood up, walking towards him when you stopped, confused and unsure about your own actions.

In his left hand, he was holding the blindfold, the fabric long and shimmery in the low light. It looked soft and you wondered if he had specifically purchased it for you. For a moment, both of you just stood there, quietly staring at each other.

“I – apologized to Krok for my behaviour today,” Paz said, “And I told him we would be here for the rest of the night … just in case.”

You bit your lip, still staring at him. He was so big and yet you saw how he had his shoulders dropped, how his body was completely relaxed to make him seem less threatening. You took a deep breath.

This was happening. This was _really_ happening.

You would be able to kiss Paz.

Your eyes trailed over his form. Over his broad shoulders, over his bare hand that had settled on his belt that hung low on his hip. Over the shields on his thighs and just how deliciously thick they seemed to be. You had never considered thighs to be a particularly sexy body part but seeing him standing there you couldn’t help but imagine grinding down into that piece of armour.

The sexual tension in the room was unbearable.

Finally, he stepped closer to you, audibly swallowing, “Will you undress for me, mesh’la?”

You were sure you had never undressed this quickly in your life. Then again, you only had to strip off your dress and your panties before you were naked as the day you were born. Your ears burned at being this exposed and even though he wore the black visor, you could feel how his gaze travelled along your skin.

But it did not make you feel uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, actually, when his hands reached out to trail down your spine to your hip, your whole body shuddered in delight. He was so close now that you could feel him brushing against you, the front of his armour so cold it made your nipples pebble.

His hands were warm on your hips as he slowly turned you around so you stood with your back to him. “You are beautiful, cyare,” he whispered in your ear.

Then, he pulled the fabric over your eyes and gently tied it at the back of your head. Your whole world being shrouded in darkness only made you all the more aware of how loud your heart was beating in your chest and how your breath seemed to echo around the room.

“Is this comfortable?” he asked you softly and you nodded.

It was made from velvet that felt just as soft as it had looked and you wondered where he had gotten it from.

But your thought process was interrupted when you heard a high-pitched hiss, as if someone opened a pressurized bottle, and then – a deep breath.

He had taken his helmet off.

Somehow, the knowledge that, just behind you, Paz was standing without any covering on his face, made the urge to kiss him that much stronger. The same hands that had turned you away from him now guided you to turn around again, gently pulling you closer to him. You felt the full length of his armour against your naked skin but his face was bare, it had to be.

And when his nose nudged against yours, you gasped. The simple touch was enough to ignite the flames inside your belly and your heart. He was so close. He was so _real_.

Warm hands came up to frame your face, his strong nose trailing along your cheek.

Everything he did was soft and gentle as if he needed to learn what it was like without the helmet. You barely moved, letting him trace your face with his fingers and his nose, his lips brushing against your temple. And when his warm forehead settled against yours, you knew that this was real.

“Hi,” you smiled.

He breathed out a laugh, then, before his lips descended on yours in a soft kiss.

Goosebumps erupted all over your skin. His kiss was slow and careful as if he was getting used to the feeling again. His lips were rough and dry and warm and as your arms wrapped around him and landed on the back of his head, you smiled into him.

Carefully, you started to return the kiss, moving your lips against his slowly and relishing in how he pulled you closer with a grunt. He had no facial hair but you could still feel the stubbles. He had to have shaved and you smiled at the thought of him doing that just to kiss you. Then, thoughts started in your head of what a beard could feel like between your thighs and feeling between your legs grows hotter.

As his hot tongue slipped into your mouth you hummed, resisting the urge to wrap your leg around his hip. Your naked body pressed against the cold metal of his armour and you gasped against his mouth, surprised by the feeling but also unwilling to part from him.

Only when breathing became a necessity too important to ignore did you reluctantly part from him. But even then, his lips chased you and you could feel his mouth brushing against yours as he let his forehead fall against you.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do that,” he whispered, his breath washing over your face and you could not help the relieved smile on your face. This time, _you_ nudged your nose against _his_ , kissing him again and immediately opening your mouth for his tongue to taste you.

His hand wandered from your face to your waist, pressing you closer still and this time, you _did_ whimper at how the cold metal pressed against you. Paz froze immediately in his movements, cursing to himself.

“Kriff, did not want to make you uncomfortable, love,” he murmured, rubbing up and down your arms in an attempt to warm you up, “Are – will you lie down for me?”

You nodded and let him guide you onto the bed. When he arranged you until you were kneeling on all fours on the soft blankets, you felt your breath catch in your throat. Was that – was that really how he wanted to see you? So very exposed?

“Stay like this,” he instructed and you did. With the way your legs had been spread, you were pretty sure he could see how wet you were. Shivers ran down your body in anticipation and you did your best not to shift too much.

Behind you, you heard him chucking his armour and his clothes to the floor. Your fingers grasped at the bedspread and you tried to concentrate on how it felt on your fingertips rather than what it would feel like to have his mouth on you.

When you heard him coming closer to the bed, your heart beat so fast you were sure you might faint any second. Was it normal to be this nervous?

“Already so wet for me,” he mumbled, his hand palming your ass. A warm hand pressed on your shoulders, forcing you to lower your torso until your cheek was smoothed against the comforter, your ass still high up in the air. Had you felt exposed before, now you felt like he was presenting you on a silver platter. When his large hands wrapped around your thighs, pulling them further apart, you squirmed.

You could feel his breath on your most sensitive parts and it was cold and hot and wet and he was so very close. His lips landed on the back of your thigh, kissing it and when you felt his tongue dart out, you tensed. No one had ever – and certainly not from behind. And what if – what if you smelled weird or tasted bad? What if he did not like it?

But as always, Paz seemed to know exactly what you were thinking. His hand came up to the side of your leg, rubbing the skin.

“Calm down, mesh’la,” he murmured against the skin of your thigh, “Just let me make you feel good, I promise.”

You had no doubts about him keeping his promise, you never had. So, you took a deep breath and nodded. It was difficult to get your body to relax but Paz just waited patiently, his breathing fanning against your skin. And even though the blindfold kept any light from your eyes, it helped you to close them anyway. As your breath grew slower, your body grew more pliant.

This was Paz. You knew him. He wanted to please you. He only ever _had_ pleased you until now. There was no way you would be able to ruin this. If you did not like it you could always just tell him, he always made sure to listen to what you wanted.

When your face sank into the pillows a little more, Paz took it as a sign to continue. Slowly – carefully – his tongue touched your fold and you flinched. You were not prepared for it to feel this – this _good_.

His hands soothed you by rubbing up and down your ass, spreading you even more apart.

“Good?” he asked, his voice a growl.

“Yes,” you whispered shily, your ears burning from pure arousal.

Another touch to your slit followed. This time it lasted longer as he moved his tongue between your lips and to your clit. You could _feel_ how he moved through your wetness and you inhaled sharply at the tingling sensation that quickly spread from your abdomen to everywhere.

This was so different from what your fingers had felt like or how his cock had rubbed against you.

His tongue moved around your clit in a slow circle, igniting a fire that burned through you. Then, his mouth disappeared from between your legs and the feeling of loss was hard to ignore. You resisted pushing your hips back, not wanting to embarrass yourself.

It was silent except for your deep breathing and you heard him rustle behind you, followed by a low groan. You wanted to turn around, to hear better what he was doing but then he spoke up again.

“You taste divine, mesh’la,” he said followed by a kind of wet sound and your heart stuttered as you realised that he was pleasuring himself right behind you, “Will you let me make you cum like this? Will you let me taste more?”

You barely registered the words he was saying, too distracted by the rhythmic pull of his hand on his shaft. He was – stars, he really was fucking his hand while you were spread out for him on his bunk. He could just, slip right inside you if he wanted, like _you_ wanted, and the thought brought another wave of wetness to your pussy.

“Uh-huh,” you managed to get out, your whole body warm with the arousal pumping through your veins.

His hands returned to your bum and you smiled when you felt his mouth lower onto you again. Slowly, he mouthed at your pussy, his tongue darting out to lick your clit. You could not help but push back this time, grinding your hips back into his face almost involuntarily as you breathed out a moan. It would have been embarrassingly loud for you, had you not been so turned on.

His rough cheeks scratched at your thighs and you felt rather than heard him moan. The deep sound vibrated through you to your every core and you did not know what do to, how to deal with these feelings that rushed through you.

Paz opened his mouth wider, enveloping you in his heat. He licked around your entrance, just barely grazing your fluttering hole. You were panting into the sheets now, shuffling your knees wider apart to give him more access.

“Good girl,” he praised you, his voice vibrating through you in a way you never wanted to miss. He adjusted the position of his hands, spreading your cheeks anew and then his tongue dipped _inside_ you and it was over for you.

Your eyes rolled back in your head just as your hips rolled back onto his mouth, wanting – needing – him deeper. A whined escaped you as he went back to mouth at your folds. But then his teeth grazed your outer lips and his mouth wandered up (or down?) to your clit and sucked – hard.

You screamed into the pillow.

You could practically feel your wetness gushing out of you but you were too out of it to care. And it did not seem to bother Paz either. He licked all of it up with a vigour that made you feel even hotter. Smacking sounds came from behind you as he sucked on your folds, kissing and licking them, and it made your cheeks heat up.

One hand wandered down your cheek to circle your entrance and he hummed, his fingertip collecting the wetness there.

“Oh please, Paz,” you heard yourself beg, “Please, please, please, _oh_!”

“Beg so prettily,” he murmured, pressing kisses to your thighs, biting the flesh where thigh met butt and you gasped just as one thick finger entered you, “Clench so tightly around me how will you clench around my cock, huh? Gotta train you to be able to take it.”

Slowly, he kept pushing his finger inside your pussy, your walls giving way for him, and you keened. From this angle, it felt different, deeper somehow, and with his tongue on your most intimate parts, it took you everything not to immediately come.

But Paz noticed. He had to notice. With the way you fluttered around him and how your body tenses, it had to be clear that you were holding back.

And he was having none of it.

“What are you doing, mesh’la?” he asked you teasingly before adding another finger and pumping them in and out of you, “Don’t you want to cum for me? Cause I do, I want to see you come on my tongue.”

You whined in response, pushing back on his fingers, trying to have them hit _that_ spot.

You could feel his breath on your pussy again before he muttered, “Be a good girl and come on my tongue, yes?”

His thumbs spread you apart even more, then, and as his tongue descended on your clit, circling and licking it, you were convinced your saw stars – reals stars. When his tongue was replaced by his mouth, sucking your clit, you screamed and then everything was just … gone.

The only thing you could feel was the way the bedspread rubbed on your nipples, his fingers inside you slowing down and how his mouth let go of your clit to press gentle kisses to it instead. You were trembling, aftershocks running through you so strong you were sure you were just coming again and again and again, the pleasure not taking any mercy on your body.

Paz’ ministrations kept going through all of it, carefully slowing down until he stilled just as your breathing had grown much calmer. A teasing bite in your butt cheek made you smile and he pulled his fingers from you with a wet sound.

Kisses wandered up along your spine to your shoulder until he finally arrived at your mouth, coaxing your lips open with his tongue. He was warm and big, almost completely enveloping you and you could taste yourself on him which made it even better.

“I can’t feel my legs anymore,” you mumbled, your cheek still pressed to the bed as he brushed his fingers on your cheek. As he leaned down to kiss you again, you could feel his erection on your ass and you wiggled teasingly, feeling drops of precum on your skin.

Paz growled and nipped at your jaw. “Careful, little one,” he warned you, “don’t want you to take on more than you can handle.”

“You said that when I was sucking your cock,” you reminded him, too blissed out to be embarrassed about your language, “and then I was choking on it and loved it.”

His groan was loud in your ear, “Stars, the things you make me want to do to you, mesh’la.”

Still, he moved away from you and you whined, pushing your ass up to chase him.

“This is all about you,” he reminded you, getting up and presumably turning off the light. You heard the typical _click_ and then his footsteps returned.

“Would you like to keep the blindfold on? Then we can sleep like this,” he whispered, crawling up on the bed and you turned to lie on your back. You felt his side pressed against yours and relished in his body heat.

You hummed when he turned to lie on top of you, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck as he leaned down to press a kiss to your cheeks.

“Only if you kiss me some more,” you replied cheekily, your hands meeting the scruff on his cheeks. You could feel his mouth move into a grin and you tried to imagine how boyishly happy he looked like this. Would you ever be able to truly see it for yourself? And if not, was this not enough? Knowing how soft and gentle he was around you? How happy?

“That can be arranged,” he whispered against your lips and kissed you again.

His kisses were languid and lazy and wonderful. As your movements grew deeper, your tongues more adventurous he rolled back onto his side, pulling you into him. You sighed as he kissed your cheek, your forehead, your jaw and you wished you had the courage to tell him how much you loved him. How he made you feel warm, cherished, and you never wanted to stop.

“You know – I am glad that others never made you cum,” he admitted quietly, “It means that I am the first to show you that experience, the first to show you what it is like to be eaten out, to make you feel good.”

 _The only one_ , you heard him say and you smiled.

“I know I should not be this possessive, that I have no right to claim you as mine, but by the stars, knowing that I am the only one in the galaxy who got to taste you,” he groaned and you shifted, squeezing your thighs together, “It’s a privilege I will never underestimate, cyare, and I thank you for it. That you trust me this much, that – that you let me pleasure you like this …”

Slinging your arms around his shoulders you pushed yourself against him, your breasts squishing against his chest.

“Should I tell you a secret?” you whispered against the shell of his ear, his breath on your neck, “I like that you are the one to show me these things, too. Like that whatever I wish for, whatever I want you to do to me, you are just as glad to do them to me as I am to experience them.”

“What are the things you want to do?” he asked, nibbling at your bottom lip. For a man who had not kissed anyone in so long, he had quickly gotten to know the spots that made you clench your thighs and sigh against him.

“I –“ you gasped at the way he mouthed at your neck, how his hands wandered from your waist to your ass, pressing into the bitemark, “I want you to take me everywhere you want, I wanted you to take me in the lake that day, want to know what it is like to fuck in an alleyway or – or what it is like to ride someone and I – I want you, Paz. All of you.”

He bit into your neck, grunting, pushing his hips into yours and you moaned at feeling him hard and leaking against your thigh.

“So mesh’la is a little exhibitionist, huh?” he grunted, “Who would’ve thought?”

His mouth swallowed your moan, kissing you so deeply you wished you never had to come up for air. Your hand glided down his strong chest, feeling the textures of his scared, down his belly to wrap around his cock. You still marvelled at how big he was, one hand not being enough to completely surround him.

“Mesh’la, what?” his voice morphed into a groan when you began to stroke him.

There was a feeling of pride in you at how utterly destroyed he sounded. With the blindfold on you could not see anything but you used your hands to slowly guide you around, stroking his shaft in one hand, cupping his balls in the other.

“I – I want to make you come, too,” you whispered into the dark, blindly searching for his lips again, “Will – can you show me? I want to make you feel good, Paz, you took such good care of me.”

You heard him groan and thought it was a shame that you could not see him. That you could not see how his eyes shone when you pleasured him, if they fluttered closed just like yours. But at least you had his real voice and that was more than enough.

You felt his large hand carefully close around yours. “Like that?” he asked against your lips and you nodded against him with a smile.

He guided your hand along his shaft, sometimes changing the speed, sometimes the intensity, and you tried to remember every little thing about it. His hand was so big it easily closed around yours and you could feel him sometimes swipe his own thumb across the tip. His face was turned towards you and you were so close your noses were touching and you could feel how shaky his exhales had gotten.

“Stars, love,” he muttered, tilting his head to kiss you again, “Kriff-kriffing love this, love yo-“

He kissed you deeper then and you got lost in it. Your tongues were mingling together, his scent was in your nose and as your kisses grew slower again, they did not lose their passion. You smiled, trying to shuffle closer to him without ceasing the movements of your hands.

His hand around yours sped up and you could feel how his cock grew harder in your hands.

Paz pulled away from your lips, panting, “Kriff, I’m gonna –“

“Please,” you murmured against him, kissing the corner of his mouth and wandering down until you could bite at his throat, “Please come for me, Paz.”

He groaned loudly into your ear and you were sure it was the sexiest sound you had ever heard. His whole body tensed next to you, you could feel his balls drawing up in your hand and then hot liquid spilled all over both of your hands, some even landing on your hip in drops. Everything was silent except for his heavy breathing next to you as he turned his head to kiss you again.

“Let me get something to clean you up,” he whispered against your lips before shifting away from you. The bed dipped and lifted again as he stood up, rummaging somewhere at the end of the room. You just remained lying there, basking in the feeling of your own orgasm and how it had felt to bring him to one as well.

The bed dipped again and you felt his hand wrapping around yours, softly wiping your hand clean before pressing kisses to each fingertip. You stretched out on the bed with a satisfied smile, wiggling your fingers until you could lightly scratch at his scruff.

“Will you come back to bed now?”

“Anytime, love,” he replied easily and your heart skipped a beat at him calling you that. You were his love.

You could hear the rag land somewhere but you did not care when his warm body settled down next to yours. He pulled the blanket over both of you, making sure your body was completely covered and you snuggled into him. It was nice, the warmth of the blanket and the heat of his skin against yours. He was so warm …

Teasingly you rubbed your cold feet against his shins and he hissed, followed by his arms closing around you, pulling you onto his chest, “You cold, mesh’la?”

“Not when I’m with you,” you replied tiredly, eyes closing behind the blindfold, your fingers caressing his face.

“You did not have to do that you know,” he whispered after a while, kissing your temple, “I – I was happy just having pleased you.”

“I know,” you said into his chest, yawning, “I just wanted to.”

*

You did not really register when you had fallen asleep but when you woke up, Paz was awake as well. You had snuggled closer to him during your sleep and now you were stretched almost completely across his chest and you could feel his lips against your temple. You smiled.

“How was it for you?” he asked you lowly, your head still bedded on his chest. You looked up to where you knew the ceiling was even though you could not exactly see anything. His fingers traced a pattern on your upper arm, up and down, up and down, up and down …

“It was really good,” you answered honestly, “Better than I thought it’d be.”

He hummed, “Good, then all the research was worth it.”

You perked up at his words, “ _Research_?”

He shifted beneath you and for a moment you were afraid that maybe he had trained his skills on another person before. But then again, this was Paz. Paz who had always been honest with you. Paz who had said he only wanted to kiss you, no one else.

“Well, I wanted it to be good for you, so I asked Akiva for some recommendations and she sent lots of … very informative videos.”

You giggled at the thought of him watching porn just for you, just to please you.

“Well, then I have to thank Akiva too,” you murmured, stretching up until your lips brushed the scruff on his chin. You felt his face turn towards you, the bristles of his shaven beard tickled until it was his lips that laid upon yours.

A shiver ran down your spine as his tongue swiped across your bottom lip, asking for entrance.

“I had no idea what I was doing, mesh’la,” he sighed as he mouthed at you, “Never thought I would come this far but I wanted to please you, wanted taste you.”

“I forgot what it was like before,” you admitted suddenly, your ears heating up as the words registered in your head, “I mean before … before we went on this journey.”

Paz’ fingers on your arm stilled and you immediately worried that you might have scared him away with that statement no matter how true it was.

“If … If you want, it could stay like this,” he said finally, “After we go back to Din and Cara, I mean. I know we haven’t talked about that but I – I don’t want to go back to the way things were. I _can’t_ go back now, mesh’la.”

“Good,” you breathed what racing heart, grinning from ear to ear, “I can’t either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	9. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first half of your stay at the covert is much more of an emotional rollercoaster than you wished for it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: slight angst, reader has culture shock and anxiety, fluff, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, size kink, praise kink, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, cream pie, also the council is a bitch™, Paz is a romantic, so much other stuff that I probably forgot
> 
> I decided to post this chapter early because of two reasons: (1) What a week, honestly. (2) This is the longest chapter I have ever written (and probably will write) and it has cost me so much energy and emotions and I love it. So many things come to fruition in this chapter and it is my baby. While I always ask for feedback, this one has a special place in my heart and therefore I beg you: Please leave a comment, be it in the replies, the tags, an ask or a reblog, I do not care. This chapter has drained me of energy and emotions these past few days and posed as a refuge of the crazy scary shit going on. Knowing what you thought of it would make my day.
> 
> I would also like to give a special shoutout to @aerynwrites who was so kind and read over one very important scene in this chapter and gave me her feedback on it!

“I don’t want to leave here,” you mumbled tiredly.

You were not sure how long you had been awake but to be honest, you did not care either. You wanted to stay here forever, feeling his mouth pressed against the skin of your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your naked form. You had woken up with his hand cupping your breast almost lazily and you had smiled at how content you had felt like this.

It was strange to wake up into darkness but it had become your comfort overnight, the fabric soft over your eyes. Besides, having him naked and helmetless next to you was wonderful and perfect and everything you had dreamed of, so you could make that small sacrifice.

“It will just be three nights, mesh’la, and I promise then you will have me all to yourself again,” Paz replied from behind you. His voice was still gruff from sleep and somehow that made him even more attractive.

But you ignored the building heat in your belly. “It is not about that,” you tried to explain and turned on your other side to face him despite still wearing the blindfold.

The movement brought you closer to him, your chest pressed against his, and Paz hummed satisfied. His hand found its way from your back down to your butt, pulling you even closer.

“What is it then?” he asked.

“Will – won’t the other Mandalorians be suspicious of me?” you asked carefully, your fingers running over the raised skin of his scars, “I mean you and Din have known me for so long and they don’t. What if they don’t like me?”

Paz sighed heavily and you felt his breath on your lips. “They will love you, mesh’la,” he assured you, “they will love you because I – because you are important to me. And then they will love you for who you are, how kind you are, how smart. Remember Tomax? He loved you as well, didn’t he? And he’s a hard shell to crack.”

You hummed, still unsure but slightly calmed. But Paz would not let that stand and soon you felt his lips on your jaw, his teeth grazing the skin there as his hand squeezed the flesh of your ass.

“Do you know what I also remember?” he asked as his kisses wandered down your neck to your breasts.

The blanket was pushed off your body and you gasped as the cold air hit your skin. His hot mouth closed around one nipple and he lightly sucked. You moaned, your hands automatically reaching to the back of his head and pushing your chest further into him.

It felt – magical. Who could have known that such a small amount of skin could be so sensitive?

When he let go, you could feel his breath over the wet skin and hear the grin in his voice, “You promised me I could mark you up back at Umino’s party, remember?”

“And where do you intend to mark me?”

“Here,” he teasingly nipped at your jaw, “here” another nip at your neck, “Here” his voice got lower as he sucked on each of your nipples, your gasp echoing in the room, “here,” his fingers dug into your hips, your legs spreading almost involuntarily, “and I might just mark you up here,” he growled, his fingers dipping into your folds, swiping through the wetness there, “but that won’t be my mouth, mesh’la.”

His words stole the breath out of your mouth You wanted him. You wanted his touch on your body, in your body, whatever he would be willing to give you.

The reply you had prepared was cut off before you could even open your mouth. A long _beep_ went through the ship as the system announced that there were 20 minutes left on auto-pilot. Your heart jolted in your chest. Being close enough for manual controlling, that was _close_.

Paz’ forehead fell against your belly with a sigh. His hands squeezing your hips as if to appease you – or him. “Guess the marking will have to wait for later, hm?”

He pulled away quickly from you, then, and you whined, stretching your arms out to have him come back. You heard his chuckle but the next thing that followed was the hiss of his helmet and gentle hands on your face that pulled the blindfold off.

And even though you were pouting, as soon as you saw his helmet and the way his shoulders relaxed as he saw your eyes, you smiled. “Paz.”

“Mesh’la,” he whispered, his forehead falling against yours, “As much as I regret to say it, but it is time to get dressed.”

The wistfulness in his voice made you giggle but you sat up anyway, hurrying to the dresser and starting to get dressed. It excited you that your clothes were in his now, your – room and you could not help but sneak some glances at him. It was fascinating to see him put on his armour piece by piece until he was standing in front of you as broad and tall and untouchable as the day you had first met him.

Only now he was not untouchable.

“I’m – I really enjoyed last night, Paz,” you said, gently taking his hand and rubbing your thumb over the leather of his gloves, “Thank you.”

“I enjoyed it too, cyare,” he whispered and raised your hand to his chest plate, right above his heart, “Now let’s get going before Krok crashes us somewhere.”

With a chuckle, you followed him out to the cockpit where Krok was already waiting. It was weird, leaving this room behind because it felt like you were leaving your own little sanctuary you had created overnight. But with how Paz squeezed your hand, you knew you could go back whenever you wanted to.

“Good morning,” you greeted the young man, trying to be extra friendly after how downcast he had been last night, “did you sleep well? I know the bunk can get a little cold sometimes, I hope that did not bother you?”

As soon as Krok saw you, the brightest blush erupted across his face, even turning the tips of his ears a burning red. “G-good,” he cleared his throat, avoiding your gaze as much as possible.

Silence ensued as you tried to figure out what was going on. Was he still sad? But why would he blush then? Maybe he was embarrassed? But what could possibly embarrass him about seeing you after last –

Your eyes widened just as Paz started to chuckle right next to you. Accusingly you looked at the big man settling into his pilot chair, switching up controls as his shoulders shook in mirth, “You knew!”

The thought that Krok must have heard you last night was more embarrassing than you could ever have imagined. All the sound you had made as Paz had pleasured you … Oh stars, hopefully, he had not heard you talking!

“What can I say,” Paz sounded smug, “the walls on every ship are thin, mesh’la, but I am sure Krok is not mad, isn’t that right Krok?”

“Yes, Sir,” Krok replied immediately, straightening in his seat. Then, he turned to you, “Really, it – my old roommate used to bring in his hookups all the time, I found some noise-cancelling programming in my headphones – it is no big deal.”

The fact that he even had to use noise-cancelling programming made you want to become invisible forever. But you detected no lie in his words and while he seemed embarrassed, he also seemed to get over quickly so you offered him a tight smile and nodded.

Paz seemed to notice that you were still pondering over it, so he changed the topic. “You can call me Paz, Krok, all my students do.”

Krok’s face lit up, “St-student? Does that mean I – thank you, Sir, I mean, Paz, I mean …”, he breathed out a laugh, his eyes wide like a child’s and you could not help the grin on your face. His happiness was contagious.

“Do you want my seat?” he asked you, “I – I’m gonna make sure my blasters are clean for the – the lessons.”

Krok left with an ear-splitting grin. You smiled after him, almost cured of your embarrassment and walked to the front of the cockpit.

“You made him very happy,” you stated, sitting down in what had become your seat in the cockpit.

There was always a blanket of a scarf put over the back of it for when you forgot to bring one with you. You had started it somewhere in the middle of your journey but now – more often than not – you found one neatly folded over the back of it every morning and Paz suspiciously not knowing where it came from.

He shrugged, rubbing the back of his head as if he was bashful about your praise. “He deserves it. Krok is a good student and he has a lot of potential,” he explained, shifting the levers in his hands, “besides, the after Nevarro the tribe needs a few more capable warrior and he is ready.”

The mention of the tribe reminded you that you would meet them. Soon. You gulped.

“How long until we're there?” you asked, wrapping the blanket around your shoulders and playing with the frayed edges.

“Quite a while yet,” Paz answered, loading up different maps, “We might be out of hyperspace but getting there is still a bit away.”

You nodded, not saying anything. You felt dizzy. No, not dizzy. You felt sick. There was this heavy feeling in your stomach from nervousness and excitement and it made you feel sick.

Paz had tried to reassure you just a bit ago and you were sure that he was right. He knew them the best after all. But what if he _wasn’t_ right? He and Din were so devoted to their community but what if they did not like outsiders?

What would Paz do if they did not accept you?

“I know you’re worried, love,” he said next to you, his hand reaching out to gently brush your hands in your lap, “But I promise it will be alright. I promise they will adore you.”

You looked out the window and said nothing, the worry too heavy in your heart.

*

Reaching the tribe took longer than you had thought.

Even with the ship being out of hyperspace, Paz’ statement that the covert was still ‘a bit away’ was an absolute understatement. Whatever this planet way, its sun was colouring the horizon a dark purple when the ship even started to begin its descent onto the land.

But no matter how happy you were to finally have some solid ground beneath your feet, you also wanted to remain in this infinite space of waiting that actually having to _face_ the covert.

Despite your hopes, the closer your arrival came, the worse you felt in terms of nervousness and anxiety. And no matter what he did, Paz could not take it from you. He had settled his hand permanently on your and you had continued to play with his fingers, holding his hands, drawing patterns across his knuckled. It had helped you somewhat to distract you from the burning your heart.

When was the last time you had felt this anxious?

It only got worse when a strange voice sounded through the cockpit in a strange language. You had flinched, grasping his hand tighter and looked at him like a scared loth cat.

But Paz was not fazed. He simply spoke back in what you now recognized as Mando’a and you realized that it was the communications channel. _It was the communications channel._

You sighed.

Minutes later, you stood beside Paz and Krok in the hull, waiting for the ramp to open.

“It will be alright, mesh’la,” Paz repeated again, “I promise.”

You nodded, gripping his hand tight as he pushed the button on his vambrace.

As the ramp lowered, everything became busy. Voices and Mandalorians were everywhere, hurrying inside the hull and unloading the crated. Krok and Paz were greeted with handshakes and booming voices. And you were in the middle of it.

Everything was dimmed and dark and it took you a moment to realize that you were already underground. How was that possible?

Thankfully, Paz never let go of your hand and you took advantage of his size by simply shuffling closer to him, looking for cover from … everything. The strange language filled your ears louder and louder and you started to become scared and somewhat overwhelmed.

Were they asking him about you? Did they ignore you? Which option would relieve you more?

“Djarin warned us you would bring someone,” a male voice boomed through the hangar. It did not sound friendly in the least and you felt Paz tense as he stepped in front of you.

“Jaspar,” Paz greeted the man. He was clearly not happy to see him and you wondered why. The animosity between the two of them was tangible but contrary to Paz and Din this was not the playful kind.

The strange mand was wearing a dark green armour that gleamed in the low light of the hangar. He had a similar statue to Din and so Paz was towering over him. And he did. You watched as he tensed his whole body, making him even larger than he was and you took that as a sign to maybe … not put the attention you.

But as you shifted behind Paz’ arm, the dark green visor flashed to you and you cursed inwardly. You watched as his helmet tilted up and down, mustering you.

“I am surprised to see she is not one of us,” he casually commented, “After all, weren’t you the one to keep the survival of our tribe as the top priority?”

“Don’t see how they can’t go hand in hand,” Paz replied carefully, but you heard the danger in his undertone. He was ready to fight if need be and you wondered about their past. What happened that such a little exchange could have so big of an effect on him?

“Well, I hope you won’t regret it,” Jaspar said, not acknowledging you in the slightest, “See you on the training grounds, Vizsla.”

Paz only grumbled in response and you watched as Jaspar turned his back to you and left through the string of people still unloading the hull.

“What was that?” you asked in bewilderment, turning to him for answers, “And why was he so … mean to you?”

“Just bitter cause I’m more popular with the students,” Paz answered, almost amused, and his shoulders relaxed, “He is a teacher too, you see. Me coming back for a bit, means they want me to teach again.”

You hummed, unsure if that was the complete answer but also not will to dig deeper yet. You would have time enough if it came to that. And hopefully, it didn’t. After all, it was only three nights and two days.

Two days, you reminded yourself, breathing deeply as the others around you continued to speak in the foreign language.

Paz let go of your hand and you looked up at him in alarm. Don’t leave me here, you wanted to beg him and you were pretty sure that your eyes were conveying just that.

“Just one second,” he said, walking a few steps and speaking with Krok who only nodded and took a datapad from Paz.

His steps were longer and quicker when he came back to you, a sense of urgency or excitement in them.

“I left Krok in charge on unloading,” he announced, now definitely sounding excited as he took your hand, “now I think it is time for you to get a tour of this place, what do you think?”

You shouldered your overnight bag and smiled. This was the Paz you knew. This was what you needed. Some time with Paz, away from the bustle, to get used to this new environment.

“Let me show you around, mesh’la,” he murmured, his hand gently pulling you towards the exit, “Let me show you my home.”

*

And what a home it was.

The first thing you noticed was that the whole covert seemed to be underground. There was no natural light anywhere which was not hard to adapt to considering you had been living in a space ship in hyperspace for the past few months. But what surprised you was that the hallways were all lit and spacious.

Even though it was underground, it did not feel stifling.

You wondered if it had been here before or if they had built it from scratch but Paz was too busy showing you everything to also tell you the story of the covert.

There were different sections – public and residential. The public one was where the foundlings were taken care of, where the training and game rooms were situated as well as kitchens and pantries and offices.

And Paz showed you each one. The excitement in his voice was hard to miss as he explained the functions of each space and you could barely contain our smile. This was Paz at his core, in his natural habitat.

“So, these were the public ones. You were already in the hangar, so the next stop would be our home for the next three nights,” he concluded, closing the doors to the empty training rooms, “I don’t live too far from here, being the teacher has its perks.”

You grinned at his light-hearted comment, gazing at him as he stepped closer to you. Slowly, he raised his hand to your shoulder, “Let me carry that, mesh’la.”

As your bag left your shoulder, you rolled your arm, trying to get the soreness out. You followed him into a smaller hallway, watching him as he threw your bag over his shoulder as if it weighed nothing.

“Promise to never let me loose alone in this labyrinth,” you joked quietly, your hand brushing his gloved one as you walked alongside him, “I swear I would never find my way back.”

Paz chuckled, “I promise, mesh’la.”

The walk through the hallways was blissfully quiet as you tried to work through the different impressions you had. Occasionally Paz’ hand would brush yours and your heart would skip a beat. This was all so new but he was by your side. He would not let you alone in this.

As you turned into a long hallway, you heard voices and footsteps that approach you – fast. You frowned and resisted the urge to stop and hide. Those were not stormtroopers. You needed to remind yourself that you were _safe_ here. People running towards you were not a sign of danger here – it was normal.

When you turned yet another corner, the voices now very close, you choked out a laugh.

A bunch of children – foundlings, your head provided – came to a sudden stop before the two of you. Their eyes were big as they looked up at you and Paz, their small face full of excitement and curiosity.

It was silent only for a split moment before a chorus erupted from them.

“Mr Vizsla, where have you been?”

“Mr Vizsla, I am so happy you are back!”

“Mr Vizsla, will you stay, please? Your good night stories are the best!”

Paz kneeled down in front of them, your bag still slung over his shoulder and your heart melted at seeing him like this. Some children came up to hug him and soon there were at least three little toddlers on his lap while one clung to his arm.

“Mr Vizsla, is it true?”

“Is what true, ad’ika?”

“They say that you have brought a pretty woman with you to the covert!” a child announced excitedly, “Can we see her?”

“Can she tell stories like you do?” another child, almost a toddler still, asked, clutching a stuffie in his hands.

You smirked when you heard that those were the rumours about you. That the children were wondering about you. Because if there was one thing you were good at, it was dealing with children.

“Well,” you started, kneeling down next to Paz and smiling at the little faces that looked at you in astonishment, “I have been travelling with Pay for a _long_ time and I can assure you, there was no pretty woman he came here with.”

The children nodded knowingly as if that answered their question. Paz laughed quietly next to you, shaking his head, “I didn’t know you had it in you, mesh’la,” he murmured, his hand wrapping around your waist and you grinned.

The children, seemingly satisfied now that they had solved the mystery, ran off again, playing hide and seek in the infinite network of hallways.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” you asked, gnawing your lip, “What if – what if they get lost?”

Paz chuckled, now holding onto your hand, “They grew up in these halls, mesh’la, they have never known anything else. Don’t worry, they look after each other and we look after them.”

You had reached a hallway now in which all doors were identical. Only random number and signatures on some of them distinguished them from each other and you were positive that this was the residential section now.

Paz came to stop in front of one. “So,” he started, making no move to open the door, “this is me,” did not move.

You looked at him expectantly, hands fiddling with each other. “Paz … you can open the door,” you mentioned, smiling, “I’m excited to see your home. Besides, I can’t wait to get my hands on a real bed.”

Paz chuckled nervously and the doors swished open. It took him a moment to find the light switch but then everything was hued in warm light and you took a step inside.

It was bigger than you had expected.

The room was big, with a bed to one side and a small kitchenette to the other. There was another door next to the kitchen tow hat you suspected to be the refresher. The bed had blue bedding on it, the same dark blue as on the ship, and there was a lamp on one nightstand.

Looking at it, it seemed quite empty and even a bit impersonal but then, he had not been here for so long that was hardly a surprise.

Paz walked to a table with two chairs, setting the bags down and sighing. He stretched his arms as you curiously continued to look around, spotting a few datapads on a shelf and a little screen pad on his bed. Was that how he watched holovids?

“So, this is the kitchen,” he gestured to the kitchenette, obviously attempting to lighten the tension and you smiled, “and, uh, this is the non-existent dining room and office and this,” he turned to the big bed, “is the – the bedroom.”

“Thank you for that very thorough tour, Mr Vizsla,” you teased him and stepped closer to the big man in the middle of the room.

He seemed relieved and automatically, his arm wrapped around your waist, “I know that we talked about this but if you don’t want to share, I’m sure I can find a guest room for yo-“

“Paz,” you gently interrupted him, raising your hand to bury it beneath the fabric of his cowl. You smiled when you realized that you could do that now. You could touch him, just like that, because you were … were what exactly?

“Paz, I am more than happy to share a room with you,” you assured him, looking up at him, biting your lip, “And a bed …”

There was a rumble in his chest, almost like the purr of a loth cat, and your smile widened as his hand dropped lower on your waist. “Mesh’la, I cannot tell you how happy I am to have you here, in my home, I … It means more than you could ever know.”

Your heart skipped a beat at how soft he sounded. The cold beskar of his helmet came down against your forehead and you sighed, closing your eyes. You could hear your heart hammering in your chest as you realized that you could tell him now.

You were alone, he wanted you in his home, his fingers were drawing patterns on the fabric of your shirt.

You could tell him now.

“There was something I wanted to talk about,” you started, your throat felt dry but you forced yourself through it. Now was the time. You could feel it.

“What is it, cyare?” he whispered. One hand came up to the back of your neck, holding you to him. “Please, tell me, love. I –“

“I –“ you swallowed, “Paz, I – I wanted to tell you that I –“

_Beep beep._

Your shoulders sagged in disappointment as Paz cursed, letting go of you and walking towards the datapad on the bed. Blood rushed through your veins. You had been so close – _so close_ – to telling him how you felt.

“I am so sorry, love,” he sighed, swiping over the surface of the datapad, “There is a lesson I need to attend today and the Armourer has asked to see you.”

That made you stop in your tracks.

“The Armourer?” you asked, eyes wide and mouth open, “That’s – she’s very important though, isn’t she? Why would she want to meet me?”

“Just to introduce herself,” he tried to assure you, “It’s a tradition for the alor to meet all the guests that are in attendance, I promise you it is nothing special but I hope that it will make you feel more at ease.”

He walked towards you again, gently bumping his forehead against yours. You were sure you looked like a love-sick puppy and it only got worse as he raised your hand beneath his helmet, his lips pressing the softest of kisses to your fingertips.

“Very well then,” you whispered, “Will you be there when I come home`?”

“Home …” you heard him mumble and it made your ears heat up at how quickly you had just accepted this room as your little home away from home

“I might not be there but I will get Krok to walk you to the forge and accompany you back here, okay?” he mumbled against your fingers, “And I promise I will bring something to eat.”

*

The promise of food was enough for you to happily walk alongside Krok through the hallways. He was nice enough to walk you to the forge and while you would have preferred to be here with Paz, you were glad to not have to be alone.

But when you stood in front of the forge, you found out that it was apparently not a fancy name for a meeting room but a real, actual forge. Hesitantly you looked towards Krok, “Why … why would this be in a forge?”

“It’s where the armourer works,” Krok explained with a shrug, “She forges the beskar for our tribe so … a forge.”

You nodded reluctantly, still a bit intimated by the fact that this was a forge. Weren’t these things dangerous? Why would they want to greet people there?

“You better go in, I am sure she will be waiting for you already,” Krok smiled at you reassuringly, “She is kind, don’t worry. With how much Paz adores you there is no way, she will see past that.”

You smiled at him, grateful for how he tried his best to make you feel better. Krok knew the tribe, he knew the Armourer just like Paz did. Both had assured you it would be fine you now you just needed to believe it.

With a nod, you pushed your shoulders back and straightened your posture, bracing yourself to get to know the woman who Paz regarded so highly.

“It will be fine,” you assured yourself quietly, “It will be fine.”

As you entered the room, you noticed that it did not have the light fixtures as the other rooms had. No, this room was dark around the edge and only in the middle stood the imposing, glowing forge that served as the main light source, casting long shadows in all directions.

You spotted the Armourer quickly, knowing her from Paz’ descriptions. She was sitting at the forge, facing you, her hands resting on her knees. Trying to calm your beating heart you smiled at her, wanting to make a good impression.

Something next to her shifted and as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you spotted three other distinctly human forms next to her.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to process the information. Somehow, you had thought it would only be you and her but maybe you had misunderstood? Which only left you to wonder who they were.

The Armourer called your name, then, her voice clam and yet authoritative in the otherwise silent room. Your steps faltered.

“Sit,” she instructed, motioning to an empty floor pillow around the forge. You sat down, trying to catch a glimpse of the other three faces. The first thing you recognized was the green armour of the man that had talked to Paz at your arrival – Jaspar.

Your heart plummeted. Surely, this could not be a good sign, right? The anxiety you had just barely managed to reign in before reared its head anew and you swallowed harshly, trying to control your breathing.

Besides the Armourer and Jaspar, there were two people who did not wear helmets: an elderly woman and a man that had to be a bit younger than her.

The woman looked at you questioningly, her white hair braided away from her face and her hands rested calmly in her lap. She looked approachable and that reassured you. The man, on the other hand, had a frown on his face and he looked as if he were displeased with you already.

Now you definitely felt anxious.

“Paz Vizsla has brought you here,” the Armourer stated.

You were not sure if that was supposed to be question or not but just to be safe, you nodded.

“How long have you been travelling with him?”

“A few months or so,” you answered truthfully, “He joined Din and Cara and me when we needed help with protecting the child.”

“So, you were the child’s bodyguard?” the elderly woman asked. The man leant forward, watching you with interest in his eyes.

“Uh, no,” you answered, “I was just there to – to take care of him when the others were away.”

Jaspar scoffed and said something in Mando’a. Both the woman and the mand smirked and you felt your heart start to race in your chest. You did not need to understand Mando’a to know that Jaspar had made a comment on your expense. This was not a good sign, was it?

The Armourer did not seem to be disturbed by the other’s comment and continued to sit there motionlessly. “What was your task then?” she asked.

You struggled to find a response that would please her. What had been your task? To spend time with the child, to make sure Din was eating enough and Cara did not get into too much trouble. But was that enough in their eyes?

The man’s gaze did not let you rest and you avoided his gaze.

“Just … just helping out with everything that was necessary,” you managed to bring out. Your voice sounded so small and you heated yourself for it. Why could you not be confident now? You knew you had an essential role in the group, Din had assured you of that more often than you could count. So why could you not convey it to them how you wanted to?

“Are you a healer then?” the man asked harshly.

You flinched. His voice was loud and aggressive and him staring at you only increased the pressure. But your helpless gaze only seemed to agitate him further as he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

You wanted Paz. You wanted to get out of here and curl up into him and disappear into hyperspace. Why was he so mean?

“No, I – I just know my way around a little,” you admitted meekly, “not much though …”

He hummed, obviously unimpressed, “And fighting?”

You shook your head, feeling worse and worse, “No, uh, Paz taught me a little on our way here but not much.”

For a moment, you pondered if you should mention your own blaster, the one Paz had gifted you, just to show them that you were not completely incapable. That you knew things, just not as extensive as Mandalorians did.

But before you could open your mouth again, Jaspar said something in Mando’a that sounded like a question. A question directed at _you_.

“Sorry, I’m – I don’t speak Mando’a,” you said, your brows furrowing. Why would he expect that from you? Did they expect that from you?

You looked towards the Armourer and the elderly woman for some sort of sign – some help? But both of them remained motionless, not saying anything. The woman actually seemed displeased too now and you felt like crying.

To be honest, it was a wonder that you didn’t.

The man stood up, slamming his hands on the edge of the forge and flinched again.

“Vizsla has not taught you?” he demanded, “How dare you, coming before us wanting to join our tribe and not even speaking our language, you –“ he trailed off, spitting something in Mando’a at you that was clearly an insult.

“Kriel,” the Armourer said, lifting her hand and the man grew silent immediately. Your confusion, however, was only growing.

“But I don’t want to join your tribe,” you reflexively said, your lips trembling just like your heart, “I – why would you _say_ that?”

“You don’t _want_ to join our tribe?” the elderly woman echoed, looking as if you had just insulted her to her face.

As the words left her mouth you knew how they must have taken it and you raised your hands in defence, feeling pushed into a corner from all sides.

“No, no I – I didn’t mean it like that,” you tried to explain – probably failing if their looks were anything to go by – “but why – “ your voice broke off as tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, “what is even going on?”

Instead of being offered an explanation, an answer, anything, Kriel spoke again.

“This conversation is over,” he announced, still standing, “The council has never seen such disrespect directed at it. I think it is time that you leave this meeting.”

You wanted nothing more than to defend yourself, to demand answers to what was going on. Why they treated you like this. But your voice was gone and your anxiety was through the roof. You felt struck down and humiliated by these strangers. By people who Paz respected so much.

A sob was working its way up your throat and so you quickly nodded and felt the room, refusing to give this man the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

Krok was waiting for you outside. Paz had probably tasked him to make sure you found your way back. You knew you needed him to not get lost but at the same time, you wished he would not be here. You wanted to be invisible.

He reminded you of an excited puppy, the way he beamed at you when you emerged from the room. But when he saw how distraught you were, his grin disappeared and he looked lost, not knowing how to deal with the emotional mess that you were.

“It – I am sure it was not that bad,” he tried to reassure you but it sounded more like a question than anything. _Even he was not sure if a failure in front of the Armourer could be forgiven_ , your brain deduced ad it made everything worse.

You nodded silently, the tears more prominent in your eyes as you followed him through the labyrinth. The walk to Paz’ room was quiet as you desperately tried to keep your tears and sobs at bay. Krok tried his best to just ignore the situation, you thought, and you were grateful for it.

The meeting had been humiliating enough, you did not add to your misery.

When you reached the door, you did not let Krok say a word before hurrying inside. The doors closed behind you with a click and you were cloaked into cold darkness.

You could hear Krok’s footsteps fading on the other side of the door and it occurred to you then that you were alone now.

Blissfully alone.

Paz was not there yet and you did not want it any other way. You did not want him to see you like that, so shortly after you had failed something that both Paz and Krok had deemed to be un-failable. What would he think of you now that you had embarrassed yourself in front of the council?

What was the council anyway?

You slipped off your shoes and socks blindly, leaving them where they fell and carefully you’re your way across the room to the bed.

As you wrapped yourself into the cool blankets you wished for nothing more than to be back in the bunk on the ship. There, the blankets smelled like him. There, you could cuddle into him and pretend none of this had ever happened.

But it had happened.

You had gotten to know the Armourer and the council and they had deemed you unworthy. They had deemed you disrespectful. They had humiliated you and set you up to fail whatever non-accomplishable task they had set for you in their heads.

More tears streamed down your cheeks and into the pillows as you thought about how Paz might reject you when he heard of your failure.

He had been so excited to show you everything, his home, his people, and you had not even managed to do one thing right.

You sobbed into the pillow, your chest hurting. You just wanted to disappear from this place. Your heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces when you imagined the disappointment in his voice.

How could he love you when he loved the tribe so much?

What would he think of you now?

You had never felt this hopeless.

The last few weeks had been like a dream come true. Spending time with Paz, getting to know him both mentally and physically was something you never wanted to miss again and now … Now it seemed like all of this would be taken from you.

The pillowcase beneath your face was soaked with your tears and still, you sobbed into it, letting everything out, all the hurt, all the despair. It felt like you were mourning something you had not yet had and now never would have.

The doors swished open and you hiccupped, hoping to quiet your sobs enough to make him think you were already asleep.

“Mesh’la, sorry I’m late the foundling wanted to hear a story ab–“ he stopped suddenly and you sniffled into the pillows. He was probably able to hear you in the dark anyway.

“Mesh’la?” he asked more carefully, his voice sounding closer now, “What is going on? Are you crying? Love, what is wrong?”

You sat up. “Please just hold me,” you asked him in a whisper.

You knew that he would be able to see you with his helmet on. And that he would probably see the tear tracks on your cheeks or how your lips were still trembling.

And he did.

Hearing him walking closer to you it was only a matter of second before the bed shifted and he sat down next to you. His bare fingers brushed your hand and your lip quivered. He was here. Paz was here and it would only be a matter of moments before he would leave you again.

But you were not ready to admit your defeat yet. You shifted closer to him and almost immediately his arms went around you pulled you into his chest.

You broke.

You cried your eyes out. You cried for the future you thought you had together. For the life you had wanted to build with him. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did it have to break down now that you loved him?

Paz did not say anything, did not question you any further than he had. He only pulled you closer, making you straddle him and bury your face into his neck. Warm hands drew patterns on your back and you felt the coldness of his helmet against your temple.

You closed your eyes, enjoying being so close to him and tried to breathe through your pain. Maybe none of it mattered? Maybe if you told him, he would forgive you? Maybe he loved you?

His hands left your back for a second and your heart was gripped in ice-cold fear (did he already know? Would he laugh at you and leave you alone?). But then you head a familiar hiss and relaxed against him. He had taken his helmet off – he would not go anywhere.

But you could not pretend nothing had happened. Not when you were crying desperately into his chest. No, you needed to tell him. You could not just wait for him to find out how bad the meeting with the council had gone. That would things only worse and he would feel so betrayed.

So, when his hands returned to your back, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to your temple, you knew you needed to tell him now. Now or never.

You took a deep breath, burying closer into the crook of his neck.

“I love you, Paz,” you confessed into his skin, tears slowly drying on your cheeks, “I love you so much, I need you to know that.”

“You do?” he asked, his voice broken and you swore there were tears running down his cheeks too, running into your hair.

“I do.”

“Why does it sound like a goodbye then?”

“Because –“ new tears formed in your eyes, “because maybe it is.”

This seemed to bring some life into him. Gently, he pushed you away from him and although you could not see him, you knew he was looking at you.

“Mesh’la, what are you _talking_ about?”

“I – was at the council today and they – they don’t like me at all,” you admitted, lips trembling as you tried to hold yourself together, “They told me I have disrespected them and broke off the meeting and – and I know how important the tribe is to you, how much their approval means. And I – I need to tell you because I want to stay with you after all of this is over but if – if that’s something that you cannot give me,” your voice got meek, “Then I need to know now because I don’t want to make a fool of myself any more than I already have.”

He was silent for a moment and it made you feel even worse.

“I am so sorry,” you whimpered into his neck, trying to hide from him and the world, “I ruined everything, I should have – I should have been so much better, I should have made you proud and – and –“

“Oh mesh’la,” he sighed, rough fingertips tilting your chin up to look at him, “All the Mandalorians in the world could not keep me from you now. The council was out of line in questioning you at all. In fact,” he growled, “I don’t even know why they would be there without informing me. You were my guest, you – you were supposed to be greeted, not … not brought to tears. I am so sorry, cyare, I hope you can forgive me.”

“So – you won’t leave me?” you asked him quietly, sniffling. His hands tightened on you and his forehead fell against yours. Your heart felt like it would burst out of your chest at any moment but this time, it wasn’t fear.

It was hope.

“Never,” he vowed, “I would never leave you and please – please don’t leave me either, cyare,” he whispered, his lips moving slightly against yours, “I could not bear it.”

“I won’t leave you,” you promised, smiling despite the tears.

The relief you felt was immense as if a weight had been lifted off you. You had not lost Paz. He – He still liked you no matter what the council said.

“I love you, too,” he finally confessed with a deep breath. He raised his hand to your face, gently cupping your cheek and you nuzzled into his palm, too overwhelmed to say anything, “I love you, mesh’la.”

A giggle escaped you, the tears gone from your eyes. “I love you too,” you shuffled even closer, your lips brushing his, “I love you, Paz Vizsla.”

“I will never grow tired of hearing you say that, cyare, never,” he mumbled, “I – stars, I love you,” he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, “I love you,” one to the corner of your mouth, “I love you,” and finally, on your lips.

It was slow and gentle but you reciprocated the kiss eagerly, lifting your hands to frame his face. You could feel his stubble underneath your fingertips and he groaned when your teeth grazed his lip. You would never get enough of him now. And you did not have to.

Paz loved you. He loved you like you loved him.

Stars, you doubt you would ever be this happy again.

“Can,” you bit your lip, “Can you say it again please?”

Paz laughed against your mouth as your mouth left him and wandered to his jaw, littering every bit of skin you could reach with kisses, putting all your love in them. But Paz’ hands guided your face back up and he pressed his forehead against yours, your breath mingling with his.

“I love you, mesh’la, I will scream into the stars if you want me to.”

*

When your eyes blinked open again, it was still dark. But that did not bother you because you felt Paz’ chest move calmly underneath you. It was like you were back on the ship and you liked it. The dark. The quiet. The warmth of his body seeping into yours.

You were both still clothed but a blanket had been draped over your sleeping form. You smiled. _Paz_. Paz who also had his arm loosely wrapped around your back to keep you on his chest as if you would ever want to leave him in your sleep.

Last night had been spent with kissing each other and whispering _I love yous_ into the space between your mouths. You still could not quite believe it. He loved you. _He loved you_.

You had fallen asleep with your head bedded on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat as he had held your hand to his chest, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles as he whispered sweet nothings against your temple

The grin on your face did not disappear, not even when you briefly remembered the disastrous meeting with the council. Because if that hadn’t happened would you have been brave enough to confess your feelings to him?

Probably not.

“Good morning, my love,” his voice sounded quiet and rough in the darkness and you could hear him yawn, “Are you feeling a little better?”

“A lot,” you replied, swooning at how he had called you his love. _His_. “Thank you for last night,” you mumbled against him, resting your chin on his chest, “It really – I am so happy, Paz.”

“Of course,” he replied, “I – I want you to know that it was never my intention for you to be intimidated or – or _hurt_ by them. If I – If I had known I never would have let you go there without me.”

He sounded vulnerable. Vulnerable and sat and it cracked your heart a little that he felt so guilty for something he had had no knowledge of. Because if there was one thing you knew, it was that Paz would have never let you go to them in the first place, had he known how it would all turn out.

You stretched up to find his lips again, kissing him softly. His stubble scratched your cheeks and your giggle quickly turned into a gasp as his tongue slipped in your mouth. His kisses were more thorough now, his tongue licking along the inside of your cheeks, your tongue, his teeth scraping your bottom lip as his hands pressed your hips closer to his.

“I have a lesson today,” he mumbled between kisses, his mouth wandering to your neck and you suppressed a whimper, “Do you want to come with me? It could be boring but I want – want you to see what I normally do for a living.”

“That sounds wonderful,” you replied, distracted by him sucking your neck, “How long do we have?”

“Not long,” he sighed, pressing a final kiss to your neck before sitting up and taking you with him, “I will have to freshen up a little, we slept almost into lunch, so you might want to eat something before you leave and after the training we have –“ he cut himself off suddenly and you grew curious.

“What do we have after training?” you asked, innocently, letting your fingertips brush that spot behind his ear that he liked so much.

“Nothing,” he denied, “It – It is a surprise.”

“A surprise?” you echoed, dipping down to press a slow kiss to his jaw, “Are you sure you can’t tell me?” your mouth wandered to his neck. You felt him tense, his hands wandering to your ass, pulling you closer, “I promise I can keep a secret.”

“Mesh’la …”, he warned and you hummed, happily ignoring his tone. Instead, you sucked a mark into his skin, soothing it with your tongue. His strong shoulders tensed underneath your hands but he remained still, not pushing you away. He was letting you mark him and it turned you on more than you ever thought. This giant man, just … letting you take the initiative you often had trouble taking.

“I promise I’ll be good,” you whispered against his lips, biting your lip.

He growled, his hands pulling you into him as his mouth slammed against yours. You smiled into the kiss. You had provoked him and you had succeeded.

“I know you’ll be good for me,” he grunted, his hips pushing up and you gasped as you felt him hard against you, “But it will be even better when I surprise you, I promise. Just trust me.”

A pout formed on your lips but you nodded. Until you noticed that he could not see you.

“Okay,” you relented, “But it better be good, Paz.”

Paz lifted you off him so easily, it stunned you. This man who so easily could manoeuvre you like he wanted to really let you do the things you wanted.

Shortly after you heard the hiss, the light went on. They were dimmed but it still took you a little while to adjust to the brightness.

He was standing by the foot of the bed, helmet on but no armour yet and a prominent bulge in his pants that made you clench your thighs.

“I promise, mesh’la,” he growled, his hand reaching into the waistband of his pants, adjusting his … problem, “It will be perfect.”

*

The training rooms had been empty the first time you had seen them.

Now they were filled with young Mandalorians who chatted excitedly amongst themselves. Some were wearing helmets and some weren’t. You even spotted a few pieces of armour on some of the students and wondered if they all had to work for each piece of armour until they had a complete set.

Maybe you would ask Paz about that tonight.

The exciting atmosphere in the room was hard to miss and the volume was loud as you picked up a few strings of Mando’a and Basic mingled together. But as soon as you – or rather, Paz – entered the room, they all quieted down.

In the first row, you recognized none other than Krok, the proudest grin on his face as he waved at you. With a smile, you waved back and stepped to the side, watching curiously as Paz turned into a teacher, rather than your lover.

( _Lover_ , you pondered, _you could say that now. He loved you._ )

“Jaspar had informed me what he taught you the last few weeks,” he announced, walking in front of them with straight shoulders and his hands settled on his belt, “I am here to determine the progress you have made. Let’s run some drills first. Pair up in pairs of three. I want two of you to fight and the third person to stand judge. When I give the signal, you rotate. Understood?”

Mumbles of agreement followed and you watched in amazement as he walked between them, giving pointers and instructions and in some cases, just nodded his head and walked to the next pair. The way all of them moved, so precise and with such force, was fascinating to see.

But your gaze lingered on Paz most of the time, just admiring his form and wishing you could be alone with him and beg him to ravish you. You knew you would not have to tell him twice before he would press you against the nearest wall, slipping his fingers inside you and –

“What do you think, mesh’la? Am I doing a good job?”

You blinked up at him, confused for a second, your mouth gaping open. “You’re doing the best job,” you replied quickly, hoping he had not noticed how flustered you were, “Will you show me some moves too if you have time?”

“I will probably have to reign in these kids,” he tilted his head towards the student, “But I could – wait a second, love – hey, Krok! Come over here!”

Krok, who had been fighting in a group of four, looked up and jogged over to the two of you.

“Can you show her a few basic moves?” Paz asked, gesturing towards you, “Nothing too advanced, Din and I didn’t get to show her too much.”

Krok nodded eagerly, wiping at his sweating forehead. “Sure thing,” he grinned at you, “By tonight, she will be ready to kick your ass.”

Paz laughed, al ow rumble in his chest as his hand feel to your hips, “I will leave you in his capable hands, is that alright, mesh’la?”

He waited until you nodded at him to go before he actually left you, his fingertips brushing along your wrist as he left and it made your heart skip a beat.

Being taught by Krok was exciting and confusing at the same time. He made you take off your shoes and socks and did the same. (“So, we don’t accidentally hurt each other more than necessary,” he explained calmly, “We always did that as foundlings.”)

He mostly showed you fighting stances and the correct way to swing your fist. It was incredibly slow going, especially since there were so many things you could do wrong. But he did not let you feel embarrassed when he corrected your posture for the fifteenth time in a row.

Your favourite moments were when Paz would pass the two of you, taking over the lesson for a few precious minutes and standing behind you, chest pressed to your back as he closed his hands around yours and corrected your posture that way. You swore he pressed his hips into your ass more than one time, killing any and all concentration you had had.

All in all, you really enjoyed yourself and when Paz called the lesson to an end you had the impression that while you had not learned a whole lot of stuff, what you had learned you had understood. And that counted for something.

Krok had left you to get your shoes tied and was talking to his friends in a corner as Paz approached you. His head was tilted to the side and you knew the body language like that back of your hands by now. He was looking at you. And he did not stop.

His hands flexed by his sides and your heart filled with love for him. This man was yours just as you were his. Was there anything in the world that could make you feel better than that?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked him, slipping on your shoes and standing up, “I know this is not the best sports attire but I –“

“You look happy,” he blurted out, hands on his belt fiddling with the buckle, “You – you look very happy.”

“I am,” you answered softly, coming to stop just in front of him. If you concentrated enough, you could hear his real voice now. But Paz cleared his throat and stepped away from you.

“Krok, why don’t you show her around the covert?” he asked loudly and you furrowed your brows, “I am sure she would appreciate a new perspective.”

“But I already had a tour yester-“

“Sounds good, Paz,” Krok answered quickly and loudly, turning to you, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

*

It was not.

In fact, it was more confusing than anything.

No matter how much Krok tried to make it seem as if everything was normal, he was a horrible liar. And as you walked through the tribe, the first things seeming familiar to you, you could not stop the questions that had invaded your mind.

Paz had seemed to happy to get rid of you after the lesson. Why? Did it have something to do with the surprise that he had mentioned? But then, would Krok be really be involved in that?

You threw a glance at the young man who kept on chattering happily about diverse architectural features that you were pretty sure he was just inventing.

Then again, why wouldn’t Paz involve Krok in this? He seemed to trust him a lot more now after the Corellian incident and Krok was kind.

Except, he never stopped talking.

Like, ever.

Krok dragged you to every single stop Paz had shown you’re the day before. The training rooms, the game rooms, the different meeting halls, the halls for the foundlings, everything that you had seen before. Only this time, he spent each break in your walk with talking at least 15 minutes about funny things that had happened to him – or his friends, or friends of friends – at the different spots. And, as much as you liked him, your patience was running thin.

Why were they doing this?

As Krok’s tour neared the two-hour mark, he finally turned around and started the walk back to the residential rooms. But as you walked silently along the corridors, sometimes passing other Mandalorians who seemed to muster you up and down, Krok grew quieter and more nervous next to you even speeding up.

So, something was definitely up, you determined and you smiled. Whatever Paz’s surprise was, you would find out soon and the fact that he prepared it for you made it all the sweeter.

Stopping in front of the familiar door, you turned to Krok. “Thank you for the tour,” you said, “It was very … _thorough_.”

“Don’t thank me, we both know it was just so Paz had time to prepare,” Krok waved off, a blush on his cheeks as he made a few steps backwards, “I will go now, I think, um, we’ll see each other soon!”

You waved him goodbye, chuckling as he started jogging to wherever he was going next. You heard a clatter and a quiet curse from inside the room and halted, your heart skipping a beat and starting to race.

With an excited grin, you started typing in the access code and soon enough, the door swished open.

*

Your breath caught in your throat.

Nothing could have prepared you for the sight that greeted you as you stepped into Paz’ quarters.

The first thing you noticed that everything was glowing golden. There were twinkling lights strung across the ceiling and several candles flickered in the table, making everything seem bright and cosy,

On the floor in front of the bed was a blanket spread out, several pillows placed on it, and on the blanket itself was the most delicious spread of food you had ever seen – and so much of it, too! You spotted bowls of fruits and meats and loaves of bread and dips and there was a bottle of bubble juice and –

And standing in front of you was Paz.

He was not wearing his armour anymore, only his comfortable pair of pants and a loosely buttoned shirt. The helmet was still on his head but it seemed cleaner now as if he had taken the time to clean it.

On the corner of the bed was a neatly folded piece of fabric you recognized as the blindfold as well as some of your comfortable clothes –leggings and one of his shirts you had stolen to sleep in.

You let your gaze drift over the room again. Everything was so beautiful. And Paz had prepared that all – for you. It made your breath hitch, the way he had transformed this impersonal room into what it was now – glowing and intimate.

The large man in front of you rubbed the back of his neck. “I uh, I wanted it to be special,” he explained, nervously shifting from one foot to the other, “Do you like it?”

“It is so beautiful, Paz,” you murmured in amazement, your eyes still flitting over ever new detail you discovered. Careful not to step on anything, you walked to him, grasping his hand in yours and kissing his bare knuckles, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet, love,” he mumbled, sounding almost embarrassed, “How about you take a shower and get comfortable and I heat up some of the food?”

“Sounds good,” you agreed, grabbing the clothes from the bed and heading into the refresher.

Under the shower, you took a deep breath. Was this really happening today? Why did that make you nervous? It was not like it would be your first time. But it will be your first time with Paz, your brain reminded you. Paz who meant so much to you. Paz who loved you.

You smiled and quickly ran the towel over your body.

This was Paz. Paz who had gained your trust and never betrayed it in the slightest. Paz who always made you feel good. Whatever would happen tonight, you would not regret it, you knew that now.

Dressed in the leggings and his wide shirt, you felt refreshed and warm and ready. As you stepped into the room, the delicious smell of roasted meats and vegetables immediately filled your nostrils and you sighed.

Paz stood by the little kitchenette, arranging the different bowls on a tray.

When he spotted you, his movements halted and his voice sounded soft, “There you are.”

“Here I am,” you replied shyly, “Do you need help?”

“Oh no, I just finished everything,” he waved off, carefully carrying the steaming food to the set-up blanket. When he set everything down, he plopped himself on one of the pillows and patted the spot next to him. You smiled, following suit and relishing in how he softly squeezed your knee in reassurance.

“I – Would you mind?” he raised the trusted blindfold, “I thought we could eat together if you like?”

The idea of eating with him made you giddy and so you turned around, allowing him to wrap the fabric over your eyes.

With the blindfold on, everything was dark but it was not hard to get used to it again. Especially when you heard the helmet hiss as he put it down somewhere next to the blanket. His fingers brushed yours and you felt his lips by your ear, “What do you want to taste first, mesh’la?”

Now you understood why he had prepared the dinner the way he had. With your wishes, he filled your empty bowl with whatever you wanted to try and since the food was cut up into small bites from the start, it was easy for you to eat without being able to see.

After you had taken your first bite, your stomach started to grumble and you realized that you had barely eaten over the course of the day. Paz seemed to fair similarly because both of you just proceeded to eat in silence, praising this food or that but never stopping to eat until you were both full.

“This was so _so_ good,” you mumbled, leaning back to rest your head against the bed, popping one of the berries in your mouth, their fruity taste exploding on your tongue, “Thank you, Paz, I hope you know that from now on, you will have to cook.”

Paz chuckled, gentle taking the bowl of fruit from your hands and you grumbled in protest. “I am glad you liked it, cyare,” he said, “Be prepared to defend my cooking skills in front of Din, he hates my cooking.”

“Will you tell me what cyare means?” you asked, turning your face towards his voice, “Mesh’la means beautiful, I know that, but cyare …”

“ … means beloved,” he finished the sentence for you and your breath hitched at how utterly in love he sounded, “You are my beloved, cyare.”

Smiling, you reached out one hand, landing on his thigh and brushing your fingers over the fabric of his pants, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied softly, shifting closer to you. His side was completely pressed against yours now and you relished in his warmth, in feeling his muscles flexing against you, “Open your mouth for me, mesh’la?”

Without question, you did as you were asked and for a second you were embarrassed by how easy you were for him. But then you felt a piece of fruit grazing your bottom lip and you opened your mouth wider, ready to take a bite. Juice coated your bottom lip but then – it disappeared.

Your lips followed his fingers, a whimper escaping you. You felt a rush of air and then the unmistakable sound of someone chewing. He had eaten your fruit!

“Paz!” you scolded him in mock anger and he laughed.

“You can’t keep all the tasty fruits for yourself, mesh’la,” he teased you, “Don’t you know that sharing is caring?”

“Exactly,” you pouted, “Don’t you care about me?”

Paz laughed.

Another piece of fruit touched your lips and you opened your mouth again, your tongue darting out to taste it. But just as the tip of your tongue got the first taste, the fruit disappeared again and you could feel his shoulder vibrating with laughter.

You huffed in annoyance. How could he be such a tease?

But then you smiled because _you_ could be a tease too.

Slowly, you sat up on your knees, leaning closer to him and putting your hands on his shoulders. You could feel his breath on your face and you made it a point to slowly wet your lips.

“Please, Paz,” you mumbled, your hands wandering down his chest, “Let me have a taste?”

His hand came down on your ass, pulling you into him and you threw one leg over his hips, coming to straddle him. His lips descended onto yours the moment you settled into his lap, his mouth opening and his tongue dipping inside to taste you. You could still taste the fresh sweetness of the fruit on him.

Your hands gripped his shirt, grinding down on him, encouraged by his hand massaging the flesh where your butt met thigh. When his hands pulled you into him even more, you moaned, feeling him harden against you.

The need for air became too strong though, and soon the space between your mouths was filled with heavy breathing ad his nose nudged against you and you smiled.

“This one is for you,” he promised as a third piece of fruit touched your lips.

But this time you were suspicious and you refused to open your mouth for him. Steadily, Paz increased the pressure, slightly coating your bottom lip in the fruit juice until you opened up. You enveloped the fruit and his fingers in your mouth, moaning at the taste.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice low and encouraging and you wondered if he was talking about the taste or how his cock pressed against the apex of your thighs just so that it made you want to clench your thighs.

Either way, you hummed in agreement around his fingers. You felt him tense underneath you, his hand and your ass pushing you down and you smiled at the feeling. He was just as affected as you were.

Experimentally, you swirled your tongue around his skin, licking the last traces of fruit off him. As if on reflex, his fingers wandered deeper into your waiting mouth and you hummed, relaxing your tongue and throat in an all too familiar move.

“You minx,” he muttered and you could hear his smile, “So needy to have something in your mouth, him?”

“Only for you,” you mumbled around his fingers, following the movement of his hand on your ass and grinding down on him again. But he did not let you go again. No, he held you there, steadily pressing you against his cock and you gasped. His fingers left your mouth, trailing a wet path down your jaw, your throat and to the fabric covering your chest.

You were sure he could see the outline of your nipples by now. He kissed you again, all tongue and teeth now, and he grunted when your ground against him with a gasp. Your tongues mingled, your hands wandered and your head and heart were so full of him, you swore you never could think of anyone else ever again.

Only him.

As he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, Paz’ hands wandered to the edge of your leggings, playing with the hem and brushing against the bare skin of your hips and belly. You shuddered, opening your mouth wider for him to explore.

“How about we get you out of these?” he asked, his voice gruff and you nodded breathlessly against him.

“Yes please,” your fingers played blindly with the buttons of his shirt as you tried to make sense of your thoughts. It was hard to focus when his lips continued their assault on your mouth and neck, distracting you with much baser thoughts,

“Can you – can we – off,” you mumbled between kisses, tugging on the buttons, and he chuckled.

He helped you to stand up, gently holding you by the elbow until you held your own balance. Without being able to see anything, you somehow managed to take off your leggings. Not that you were elegant in any way, but at least you had succeeded in what you wanted to do.

You kept your panties on, unwilling to part with them yet. Still, you were confused by the nervousness that had taken ahold of part of your brain. How was this so much more nerve-wracking than the usual horny adventures you had?

You heard fabric fall to the ground. Paz’ shirt.

“Are you nervous?” he asked you and his voice sent shudders down your back and right into your core. He sounded deeper now, like when he had gone down on you.

You pondered over his question for a moment. You were nervous, yes, but also excited and there were so much anticipation and hunger building up in your core you did not know where to put all this energy. You could not wait to finally be with him like that. Like you had dreamed and like you had begged him with his fingers between your legs.

“A little,” you admitted with a smile and stretched out a hand to lay on his chest, “But I’m also very happy.”

“Good,” he said quietly. His hand closed around yours, holding you to his chest where you could feel his heart thump, “Me too.”

It calmed you to know that he was nervous too. That this was normal.

“I only want you to feel good, alright? If at any point you want to stop or if you do not like something, tell me,” he stated, “I am a grown man, I can take it.”

You did not know what it was. The soft tone in his voice, the way his hand gentle cradled yours, the fact that he reassured you in being able to back out – but his words made you feel safe and comforted. And your mind was allowed to let go of the worries and just … experience everything.

With a crooked smile, you leant up on your tiptoes to kiss him, soft and gentle and loving. His tongue swept over your bottom lip and you let him in, tasting him. Warm hands let go of yours and instead wandered to your waist, pulling your closer to him until you were pressed against his naked chest.

Slowly, he guided you to the bed and you followed him, all the while occupying his lips with yours. You heard him sit down, settling on the mattress until he gently pulled you to do the same. He was sitting against the headboard, his legs spread open so you could sit in between them. You let your head fall against his chest, turning your face to the side so you could kiss his jaw.

When you nibbled at his throat, a rumble went through his chest and you hummed, feeling the wetness between your legs only growing and growing.

His bare hands brushed different patterns over your arms as his mouth sucked and bit and licked along your throat and shoulder.

Paz shifted behind you, his hands finding the hem of your panties and gently pulling them down your legs as far as they could go. Your mouth still on his jaw, you shifted your weight until you could lift your hips up and pull them down completely, sucking a mark into the space where his stubble faded.

Now, you were just dressed in your shirt and nothing else.

“Good?” he asked, his fingers brushing your inner thighs and you nodded, rubbing your thighs together and trapping his fingers there.

“Very good, Paz, please just – please touch me …”

“I _am_ touching you, love,” he whispered, “You need to be more specific. Tell me what you want me to do to you, hm?”

With your ears burning in embarrassment, you spread your legs wide enough to hook them over his thighs. It reminded you of the position you had been on in the ship and it made you feel confident. You knew this position, knew this scenario and what he could do in it. How good it would feel.

“Want you to touch me here,” you confessed in a whisper, ears burning hotter as you grabbed his hands and led them to your folds, “Please, want you to – to put your fingers inside me.”

“Good girl,” he praised you, his fingers swiping through your folds, gathering your wetness on his fingertips, “Stars, you’re so wet for me already, cyare, you like that, like me touching you?”

“Love it,” you gasped as his thumb landed on your clit, drawing gentle circles around it. It sent vibrations straight to your core and your body felt like it was pulled taut on a string. You arched your back trying to escape the sensation while simultaneously never wanting it to stop. But Paz did not let you go anywhere. His free arm wrapped around your waist, pinning you to him.

His hand was in the perfect position to cup your breast now, his thumb flicking your nipple. His stubbled chin scratched lightly on your shoulder and you imagined him watching what his fingers were doing and it made you even hotter.

As his finger dipped inside you, you moaned, throwing your head back. He sank it in to his knuckle, rumbling behind you and you felt his bulge on your lower back, a wet spot had formed on his pants. You clenched around him

You would have him inside you today. Finally.

“So tight and hot,” he muttered in your ear, nibbling on your ear lobe, “You sure this little pussy can take my cock?”

“I can try,” you replied in a breath, bucking against him, “Please, more, Paz, please, I –“

Your hand flew to your breast that wasn’t occupied by Paz’ hand, teasing your nipple through the fabric of your shirt before pinching it – hard. Both of your groaned – Paz at the sight of you and you at how good the little pain felt.

Another finger sank inside you and you gasped at the stretch. Paz gave you time to adjust to the new size before he started moving, slowly pumping his fingers in and out of. The squelching sounds that came from you would have embarrassed you, had you not been so busy trying to come around his fingers.

You frowned. Something was missing and Pez seemed to notice it too.

“What do you need, love?” he asked, his fingers reaching and curling deep inside you.

“Tell me you’re going to fuck me tonight,” you blurted out, “I – please, I need to know.”

“I’m going to fuck you tonight, mesh’la,” he rumbled in your ear, finger speeding up, thumb pressing on your clit, “I am going to fuck you on my cock until you’re babbling mess and then I am going to keep fucking you, how does that sound?”

“So kriffing good,” you gasped, your fingers pinching your nipples just as he changed the angle of his fingers, suddenly hitting something that had you seeing stars.

The shout that escaped you was more surprise than anything else as your orgasm hit you so hard you could feel your legs trembling.

Behind you, Paz chuckled, slowing the pace of his fingers but still milking every wave of pleasure out of your tired body.

“Good girl,” he praised you, “Coming so sweetly on my fingers, sure you want my cock now? He teased you, “came so hard, might want to take a nap first?”

“Want your cock now, Paz,” you mumbled in protest, “Please, I want it, want your cock, please, you promised, I want it so bad, I –“ you sobbed in pleasure as his fingers left you and brushed your clit, “pleas I’ll be so good, I promise, let you fuck me however you want.”

He turned your head to the side and up so he could kiss you. His lips were soft against yours, his dipping inside you as his fingers continued to gently brush over your folds, keeping you on the edge.

“Oh cyare,” he said against your lips, “So needy for me, love, don’t worry, I will fill you up soon enough.”

He carefully sat up, taking you with him and you grimaced at how wet everything was between your folds.

When he left the space behind you, you grew worried. But as you heard another piece of clothing hit the floor, it occurred to you that he might be taking off his pants. Your walls fluttered around nothing. You decided to take the initiative and pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you completely bare and in the middle of the bed.

All alone, but not for long.

The bed dipped in front of you now and when you stretched out your hands, they were enveloped by Paz’ as he pressed them to his lips. You smiled as his stubble tickled your wrist, his lips pressing another kiss to your palm.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he reminded you quietly, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin, “This is all about you, I don’t – don’t want to rush things.”

“No, it’s’,” you shook your head, “I want it,” you assured him,” Just … go slow, please? I – I don’t know why I am so nervous …”

“It’s alright,” he whispered, kissing you sweetly. The kiss started out as just mouth pressed against mouth but soon tongues darted out and his mouth wandered to your neck, sucking new bruises into the sensitive skin there. You tilted your head to the side, giving him more access and Paz hummed in approval.

In a wave of courage, you spread your legs so he could rest between them and he took the hint. Being so close to you now, he towered over you, gently guiding you to lay down on your back.

His lips parted from yours, his nose dragged along your cheek, “Whatever you want,” he reminded you.

“Please,” you whimpered against him, spreading your legs further. You could feel him rubbing against you – hot and smooth and heavy – and arched your back to get him closer. Big hands grasped your thighs, spreading them wide and guiding your legs up to your chest, leaving you completely bare to him.

You had never felt more exposed and you felt a rush of wetness dripping out of you.

But then – oh, then you felt his blunt head at your entrance, pushing slowly, and you whined. He was so close. So big. You needed more.

Paz’ heavy breaths filled the air, his forehead falling against yours, “I love you, mesh’la.”

He pushed in, the tip of him popping into you, catching in your entrance and you groaned. He was thick and you had forgotten that that was a stretch in and of itself. Paz still, letting you adjust to his size. One hand left your leg to softly rub your clit, careful not to overstimulate you.

“Good girl,” he praised you quietly, “taking my cock so well, I wish you could see it. How your pussy stretches so wide to take me … kriffing stars, think you can take a little more now?”

You nodded helplessly, whimpering at how _full_ you already felt but also so _ready_ to have him inside you completely.

His cock inched in a little more, rubbing against your walls. You could feel yourself fluttering around him, stretching to what felt like the absolute limit.

“Stars, you are tight,” he grunted above you, pulling out a little. The next push was easier, his shaft coated in your wetness. You moved your hands up to your breasts, tweaking your nipples, stimulating yourself to distract yourself from the stretch.

“There we go, play with your pretty tits, mesh’la,” he encouraged you, “You have no idea of kriffing good you look taking my cock like that. Looks kriffing _massive_ against you. Next time I’ll put my helmet on just so can see how your body takes me.”

You were not sure if it was his praise or the mention of a next time or the thought of actually seeing him thrust inside you – maybe a mixture of all three – but it made you wetter. Stars, you could feel how his cock came out wetter and slid in easier as his thrust slowly started to build up speed.

Still, you mewled when his movements remained shallow. Your body was aching for him in a way you had never experienced before as everything in you screamed to have him –

“Deeper, please,” you breathed, your fingers now tugging at your nipples, arching your back to get him further into you, “Please, Paz, I need it – deeper …”

“Deeper?” he asked, the next push already a little further and your body felt like it was floating in the stars, “You sure you can take it, huh? Sure, you want all of my cock?”

“Yes,” you gasped, “ _yesyesyes_ , please, Paz!”

Thankfully you did not have to tell him twice. Just as you begged him, his thrusts grew deeper and stronger and your moans were silenced by his mouth on yours. With your fingers on your tits, Paz’ thumb on your clit and his cock in you, you felt like you would combust at any given moment.

“Gonna come for me, love?” he asked, grinding into you, “Gonna come on my cock, is that it? I know you can do it. Wanted to be good for me, didn’t you? So be good, little one, come on my cock, want to feel you tighten around me like you did on my fingers –”

A helpless whine escaped you as your eyes squeezed shut. You fluttered around him rhythmically, the way his cock rubbed inside you making you see stars. But when he pinched your clit between his thumb and forefinger, you cried out and came around him, clenching impossibly tight and moaning so loud it was embarrassing.

“There we go,” Paz praised against your lips, “Good girl, coming around my cock. Does it feel good being fucked like this, hm?

You nodded eagerly, your thighs trembling around him. His face dipped down, kissing you and you breathed him in. Unable to speak, you enjoyed him fucking you and soon, it felt like he was just coaxing you towards another orgasm.

But you wanted him to come too.

“W-want you to come inside me, Paz,” you babbled incoherently, your body moving with his thrusts as your eyes rolled back in your head. Now that he was filling you, you did not know how you could ever _not_ have him fuck you. No more mouth, no more fingers, just his cock inside you again and again and again until you were full of him.

He stilled inside you, reaching impossible deep and when he twitched inside you, you thought for a moment you would feel it in your throat as well. You whined at the feeling, still oversensitive but also so close to another orgasm.

“What did you say?”

Heat rose in your face and turned your face into the pillows, hoping to hide from him.

“Mesh’la, I am literally balls deep inside you,” he reminded you with a light thrust, hand closing over your jaw and turning you to face him even if all you could see was darkness, “What did you say?”

“Want you to come inside me,” you repeated quietly, hands coming up to his shoulders, playing with the hair at the back of his head, “I – I want you to fill me up, please, Paz, want to feel it drip out of me like in the holovids.”

Paz groaned before resuming his movements. His thrusts were even harder now and you heard the bedframe squeaking as your body moved so much the blankets bunched up around you. His breath was puffing over you as you just took helpless what he was willing to give. The way he rubbed inside you, hitting that spot almost consistently was exhilarating and your fingernails buried themselves in his shoulders.

“I’m gonna fill you up,” he grunted in your ear, “But there is no way I am going to let it drip out of you, you are going to keep that come inside you like a good girl, aren’t you?”

You could not talk anymore. Only incoherent noises left your mouth as his word spiralled you into waves of pleasure. You felt him stiffen inside you, growing even harder and then spurts of warmth were filling you as he stilled above you, keeping himself seated inside you.

He was coming so much, you could feel it flowing out of you, making a mess between your thighs even as he was still inside you. But that was exactly what you wanted.

His forearms were caging in your face and you felt his warmth surround you as his lips came down to gently kiss you.

“Perfect,” he whispered to you, “I love you, mesh’la, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

His stubble tickled you and you giggled, swatting his face way while also kissing him back. So many feelings and emotions ran through you, you hardly knew what to do. You were exhausted and satisfied and fulfilled and relieved and – and loved. By him.

When he pulled out of you, you winced. Immediately you felt and empty and sore and messy, the fluids between your thighs continuing to coat your skin. Paz hissed too, sitting u between your still spread legs. You wanted to closer your legs but his hands held them open as he growled.

Careful fingertips appeared at your entrance, slowly pushing his cum back into you, making your ears burn. He was doing just as he had promised.

“You look so pretty like this,” he murmured, “How do you feel? Do you feel sore?”

“A little”, you answered with a yawn, stretching arms above you, “but also … really good,” you grinned, relief and happiness flooding through you, “I – we did it.”

He huffed out a laugh, “We did, love, how – did you like it? Was it good for you?”

“It was perfect,” you replied honestly, wincing as you turned on your side, wanting to curl up and sleep. Now that the thrill of your orgasms had subsided, you felt tired and nothing sounded better than curling up on Paz’ chest.

“No falling asleep yet,” Paz said gently, his voice coming somewhere from far away and water running, “Want to clean you up a little so you’ll be comfortable tomorrow.”

“’kay,” you mumbled, your body relaxing into the pillows as his hands appeared on your body. A warm washcloth was run over your body and between your legs and you sighed. Actually, that felt really good.

When you felt somewhat cleaner, the softest blanket covered you and you smiled. You heard his rhythmic breaths as be blew out the candles and some clicks as he presumably switched off the lights.

But you could not care less about the lights when he finally crawled into bed next to you. You smiled, searching for his body in the dark by stretching your hand out until it hit warm skin. Immediately, he pulled you into his chest, kissing you softly as he straightened the blanket over the both of you.

“I love you,” he whispered into your ears, just as you were falling asleep.

You smiled.

Everything was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	10. To Be Confident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An angry Vizsla is a triumphing Vizsla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: explicit sexual content, cream pies, hint of a breeding kink, dirty talk, facials, cum play, oral sex (m receiving), size kink, some rougher sex, choking (consensual), aftercare, soft!Paz, lots of emotions, a lot happens in this chapter, Paz with kids, just softness and yearning and a lot of “I love you”s
> 
> Thank you all so much for the lovely and awesome feedback on the last chapter! In this chapter, we get a bit of a resolution as well as Reader finding her voice. As always, let me know what you think!

The next morning you woke up to soft kisses on your neck and shoulder.

You hummed contently, stretching your arms up in the air and turning towards where Paz’ lips were planted on your skin. Although you were facing him, you could not see him, the blindfold still securely tied around your eyes. But you could feel his mouth quirk up in a smile on your neck, could feel how he breathed deeply against your skin, how his fingertips traced invisible patterns on your body.

“Good morning, mesh’la,” he greeted you.

His voice was rough from sleep, gravelly, somehow, and it made your smile even wider. Waking up with him – stars, if anyone had told you about this a few weeks ago you would have hardly believed them but now … now it was the one constant in your life and it was made even better as you felt the soreness between your legs.

His rough lips descended upon yours softly as his large hands wandered down your waist, turning you so you were lying on your back with him looming over you. It reminded you of your position yesterday, of how he had moved inside you, stoking the fire that had built up in your belly, and you could not help the heat on your skin.

You felt so giddy! He loved you like you loved him and he – he had made love to you. After all the experiences you had gathered, it had been hard to believe that sleeping with him would be as good as just being pleasured with his fingers or pleasuring him with your mouth. But it had.

Maybe it was because you were hopelessly in love with him but you did feel more connected to him than before. It was such a strange thing. The last time you had slept with someone you could not get away from him quickly enough. Now you felt like you would never get enough.

As you twisted your legs to wrap comfortably around his hips, the slight twinge between your thighs confirmed it. It had happened. You had slept with him and it had been good, it had felt great and, yes it had been slightly uncomfortable to get him to fit inside you but Paz had been so gentle, so careful to make sure that you would enjoy it too. It made your heart swell with happiness and you sighed in absolute content.

You raised your hand to the stubble on his cheek. “I could wake up like this every day,” you whispered against his lips and his teeth pulled on your bottom lip in return. His grip on your waist tightened and you felt him shift his weight onto his knees.

“Really?” he asked you breathlessly, his mouth opening against yours. You gasped as you felt his tongue lick into your mouth. You felt the sensation from your chest to your core, the tingling covering your body from the inside out. When he ground against you, you gasped again, feeling him hard against your belly.

You had fallen asleep naked and now you saw the advantages of that. Your fingertips moved from his cheeks down his chest to his cock where it was nestled against your belly. There was already a drip of precum on his tip and you delicately spread your thumb over it as you arched your back, trying to get him closer.

“Can I interest you in another round, love?” Paz joked against your lips, kissing along you neck until his mouth reached your breasts, “Want – want you on top this time, want you to ride me.”

“Yes,” you murmured, tightening your strokes around his shaft and trying to grind against your hand at the same time. The discomfort was still there but you also felt so _wet_. You whimpered.

In a rush of movement, Paz had turned you both around, an _oof_ escaping him as your weight settled on his hips, your wet heat gliding along his length. You leant down to kiss him again, enjoying how his mouth slowed down against yours and his hands cupped your tits, brushing over your nipples.

“You sure you’re up for it?” he asked quietly, his fingers moving to between your fold, gathering your wetness up around your clit. You bucked your hips. “You feel swollen, love.”

“I am, I promise,” you insisted, moving against the pressure on your clit, chasing the feeling that built up in your core.

Paz did not say anything but you felt him doing … something to the side until you heard the opening _click_ of a bottle and suddenly his fingers, much wetter than before, appeared between your legs, sweeping through your folds, circling your entrance carefully.

“What is that?” you asked, experimentally grinding against his fingers.

“Lube,” he replied and you heard him coat himself, “don’t want to hurt you after yesterday. You might feel alright but I – I’m still big, mesh’la,” you grinned at how bashful he sounded for a moment, “And I want you to tell me if it’s too much, alright?”

You nodded, feeling a little self-conscious now. It was like he was even more attentive, more focussed on you now that he was worried. And you? You felt exposed, your legs spread wide over his hips. What if you did something wrong? How – how did people even find a rhythm? What if you found the wrong one?

But Paz was not only good at making you feel good, he was also good at reassuring you. His large hands settled on your hips again, his thumbs rubbing your skin as he helped you move against him, guiding the way you ground against his shaft much like he had on the ship.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered through heaving breaths, his hands squeezing you slightly, “I want to see you fuck yourself on my cock, can you do that for me? You want to feel good?”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded. You supported your weight on his chest, feeling his heartbeat under your palm. Slowly you lifted your hips, unsure how you could keep your balance while also guiding him into you. But before you started to helplessly fumble around, one of his hands left your hip and he was the one rubbing the tip of his cock through your folds.

You gasped, automatically sinking down a little and squeaking when he caught on your entrance.

“All in your pace,” he reminded you gently, although his voice sounded suspiciously hoarse.

You nodded, biting your lips as you sank down on him a little more. With this angle, it felt like he was stretching your walls more than yesterday, like he was going deeper than before. It did not explicitly hurt but it was kind of uncomfortable. You lifted yourself up again, wanting to feel him in that spot from yesterday.

“You okay, love?” Paz asked carefully, his fingers playing with your clit and your mouth opened in a moan. Now this, _this_ was something you could get used to.

“Yeah you’re just big,” you assured him, feeling your walls relax. The lube helped a lot and as you sank down on him again, you did not struggle as much. Paz groaned loudly, his hand flexing on your waist as his thumb circled your clit.

“There we go,” he rumbled, “Kriff, love, look at you, taking it like a champ.”

You smiled at the pride and admiration in his voice, completely resting our weight on him now that you really had taken all of him. Experimentally you moved your hips, just a little grind against him, and when you felt his curls brush against your clit you moaned.

“Good girl,” he mumbled, shifting again and you frowned until his breath hit your jaw. He had sat up against the headboard, moving you with him and gripping your hips. Slowly you built up a rhythm, moving your hips up and down slowly, all the while with his hands supporting you. You felt dizzy from the pleasure, from the closeness and soon you settled your forehead against his, your lips brushing against each other.

“I love you,” Paz whispered, his hands holding you to him as your hips started to lose their rhythm, your head too full of him to really focus anymore, “Will you come for me, love? Will you come on my cock again like last night? You did so well, riding me, I can see your thighs trembling, you want to come for me, don’t you?”

You nodded, your mouth open in a moan that he silenced with his lips. The kiss turned desperate as you clung to him, not able to grasp the pleasure that coursed through you. It was now Paz’ turn to thrust up into you and you let yourself falls against his chest, moans escaping you into the skin of throat as only incoherent begging could leave you.

Your body did not know what it wanted, if you wanted to escape from this strange feeling of more pleasure in your core or if you wanted to move towards it. It built like a slow wave that you could see growing and growing and growing and growing until it crashed over you, your legs twitching, babbling incoherent nonsense as you pulsed around him.

His low moan in your ear and the feeling of molten heat filling you, told you that Paz had come too. Your body felt heavy and light at the same time and you fell out of breath against his chest, feeling how he softened inside you, both of your releases escaping you.

“So, I take it you enjoyed last night?” he joked, brushing a strand of hair off your face. You smiled breathlessly at him, still trying to catch your breath, trying to catch up. You felt him inside you which still made you dizzy but in a very good way.

“I – don’t know what to say,” you brought out, looking to where you suspected his face to be.

Now that you could not see, it seemed to make everything around your more intense. Your mind was overwhelmed with different impressions.

Your skin was warm and covered in a light sheen of sweat and everywhere you touched him, it made your heart clench. Your heart was beating loudly in your chest and you were sure that he could feel it too from where you were pressed against him. The room was filled with your quick breaths – although Paz seemed to calm down much quicker than you, damn his stamina – and you concentrated on how his fingertips felt on your shoulder blades.

“I loved it,” you judged finally, “I love you.”

“I love you too, mesh’la,” he replied, his hand sweeping over your back, “And I am happy that you are happy.”

You grinned until he shifted underneath you, jostling your comfortable position on his chest and you groaned, “What are you doing, Paz? I want to sleep …”

“I need to get up,” he sounded as loathe as you felt, “I promised the Armourer I would train some of the foundlings today and I still have a meeting before that about … about some of the supplies.”

A pitiful whine escaped you and you pressed your face closer to the crook of his neck, trying to get his warmth as long as possible before he carefully slipped out from under you. You did not want to get up yet. You wanted to enjoy the thrumming in your body, between your legs. You wanted to cuddle into bed and replay ever single detail of last night and this morning in your head.

“I’m sorry, mesh’la, I really am,” he whispered, his lips pressed to your forehead, “please believe me when I say there’s nothing I want more than to spend the rest of the day in bed with you. How about you stay here? The meeting’s just an hour or so and it’s early still, you need your rest.”

“Can I?”

“Of course, love,” he chuckled, pressing another kiss to your mouth.

It occurred to you then, that he lingered by the bed a long time, trying to say goodbye to you and it made you feel special. Getting out of bed was as difficult for him as it was for you to let him go. You could hear the clothes shuffling and armour clattering as he got dressed and soon enough the blindfold fell away from your face. You blinked against the low artificial lights until you were faced with his dark visor and saw your own wide grin reflected in the black. And although the helmet gave no indication of his emotions, you knew he was just as happy as you were.

His forehead fell tenderly against yours, “Go back to sleep, I’ll be back sooner than you think, love.”

And so, you fell asleep again, cuddled into the blankets and pillows that still smelled like him. The heat in your chest grew when you remembered what had happened between them.

When you opened your eyes again, the light was still on and from your space on the bed, you could see some dust particles slowly floating through the room. Now that you were a little more awake, you truly got to appreciate what Paz had done the night before.

There were some wildflowers in a vase on the table that you had not spotted yesterday. The soft feeling under your fingers was already so familiar because, you frowned, spotting a little whole on the edge that you had sewed closed days ago – Had he brought the bedding from the ship? _Your_ bedding?

You grinned so wide it almost hurt, your heart skipping what felt like every beat until it decided to race like crazy. He was so lovely, so considerate and he had done all of this for you. Because he wanted to make you feel comfortable and safe. And stars, had he succeeded.

Allowing yourself to doze through the morning, not wanting to get up, you lingered in the soft feelings that fogged your mind. Only when the pressure on your bladder got too strong did you get yourself to leave the bed and make a trip to the refresher. There was a piece of your favourite scented soap from the ship on the sink and you chuckled. He had really thought about everything to make you feel as homely as possible.

With him gone to his meetings, you took the opportunity to take an extra long shower and just relax into the day. It was nice not being in a ship in hyperspace but actually somewhere where you felt like you could … settle. You could only imagine how Paz had spent his days here, preparing lessons for the foundlings and living his life in the tribe before he had joined Din and Cara and you. Had he ever thought of these rooms becoming something he would share with someone?

Wrapped up in a soft robe you grabbed some of the leftover food from the night before as your breakfast and curled up on one of the chairs. You relished in the slight soreness between your legs, grinning when you thought that he had definitely not lied when he had warned you about his size.

As you shifted in your seat and winced, you wondered if maybe, just maybe, this morning had been a little too early to pick up your bedroom activities. But he had been so soft, so gentle, and stars you had wanted him like that. The slight discomfort was absolutely worth it.

Heat rose in your face as you remembered some of the things you had seen in the holovids and that you still wanted to try with him – the rougher ones. Would you feel worse than now?

You bit into another piece of bread, your bare legs crossed on the chair when you heard the code being punched in on the other side. You grinned, ready to spend some more time with Paz and surprised that his meeting had not been that long at all.

But when the door swished open, it was not Paz who greeted you.

It was the Armourer.

Your chest tightened with panic and you felt your body go tense. Immediately your mind went over the things she must disapprove of. You were only dressed in a robe, you were obviously caught off guard to see her, you were no Mandalorian. That was what they had told you. You were not good enough.

But Paz loved you anyway. He loved you and he had made love to you. This was his home and he had mate it yours as well, no matter what she wanted.

“How can I help you?” you asked, clearly reluctant to speak to her again.

The Armourer did not so much as flinch at your hostile tone. Instead, she stepped further into the room, resting her gloved hand on the back of the chair opposite you.

“Paz has spoken to me,” she started, “He has been unhappy with how you have been received into the covert and, after some deliberation, I am too.”

She was silent as if that was everything she would say and you furrowed your brows. Was that supposed to be an apology?

You remained silent, challenging her. You might have been surprised the last time you were in front of the council but if there was one thing you had learnt during your time with Din and Cara it was that just because you were in the disadvantage one time did not mean you had that disadvantages all the other times.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, the Armourer continued, giving in. “Please allow me to apologize in the name of the council. We will be happy to have you here with us for the rest of your stay.”

A feeling triumph came over you, slowly patching over the hurt you had felt not too long ago. But no matter how sincere her apology might be, there were still things weighing your chest down. And now you had the opportunity to confront her with them.

“Thank you,” you said, “But I need to say something first. I am not here to join the tribe. I am here because of Paz and he has told me so many great things about living here. I know that I am – I am shy and quiet but I won’t be walked over. The way I was treated yesterday was not fair and I know that. I am accepting your apology because I love Paz and he loves me. Not because any of you deserve it.”

“That was a very long speech for a shy person,” the Armourer commented, clearly amused, “Then what can I do to make you feel more at ease here?”

“I want you to earn my respect. And respect is earned with honesty.”

“Very well then. I will admit I was surprised when Jaspar came to us with the information that you were … not one of us. Paz Vizsla is one of our greatest warriors. The greatest defender of our way and our covert. He has taught generations of future warriors and yet here he comes with such a … tiny little thing,” she trailed off, mustering you up and down and you shifted on your feet, pulling the robe closer around you, “You look as if I can knock you out in one try and I am probably right. To make matters worse, Jaspar seemed to insist on your lack of … capabilities. And it has been brought to my attention that this was entirely wrong. So, I _will_ agree that Jaspar and Kriel were out of line yesterday. Rest assured that they are being reprimanded as we speak.”

It took you a moment to register what she had said. Paz’ position in the tribe did not come as a surprise to you but hearing it from their leader just drove the point home once again. He really was important – and admired, apparently. But what made you even more curious was her mention of Jaspar and Kriel.

“What do you mean, they are being reprimanded?”

“Paz has challenged them for your honour, of course,” the Armourer replied, sounding a confused as you were.

“ _Challenged_ them?”

“He is fighting them,” she explained, “That is how our disputes are settled. Him winning would mean to prove them wrong.”

“Why in the stars would he do that?” you demanded from no one in particular. You were not necessarily scared for him – how could you be when you had seen him in action? But what in the stars had he been thinking? Why had he not told you about it?

“Perhaps it is like you said,” the woman in front of you mused, “You love him and he loves you.”

“I _have_ to see him,” you decided, already walking to your bag in the corner and grabbing a few pieces of clothing, “I will get dressed and then you will take me to him.”

“Whatever you wish,” the Armourer said, clearly amused by your antics, and sat down, “But heed my words it will be rather unspectacular. An angry Vizsla is a triumphing Vizsla.”

You scoffed, “More like a stupid Vizsla,” before disappearing into the refresher. Your mind was racing, as you slipped your clothes on. What did a Mandalorian challenge look like? Would – would he really be badly hurt in it?

The Armourer had no qualms about leading you to wherever the fight was taking place and the more hallways you crossed, the more people seemed to walk in the same direction, chatting excitedly.

When you passed an open doorway, you heard a baby crying and frowned.

But the longer you walked, the louder the crying seemed to get in your head. Was no one there to take care of them? Your heart clenched as another heart-wrenching sound came from behind you and you sighed.

The Armourer did not say anything as you turned around abruptly, hurrying back to where you had heard the baby fussing. It seemed to be the nursery, you noticed somewhere in the back of your mind, but your focus was on finding the child in need.

What you found was a hopelessly overwhelmed Krok surrounded by a group of toddlers and a crying baby in his arms. You would have laughed at the despaired look on his face if the baby was not so unhappy. Instead, you walked towards him, not caring about leaving the Armourer in the doorway, gesturing for him to give you the child.

The baby quieted down, looking at the new person holding them with big eyes and you made sure to hold them close to you. “What are you doing here?” you asked the young man, “Of all the people I thought you would be the first one to attend any kind of fights.”

“I would,” he lamented, “But I was put on foundling duty – it seems everyone wants to see them fight.”

It was clear that he wanted to go too and you smiled.

A small hand pulled lightly on the hem of your skirt and you looked down. A pair of all too familiar eyes looked up to you and you chuckled. The toddlers were the ones from your first tour of the covert, the ones who had been so happy to see Paz again.

An idea entered your head, seeming better and better the longer the foundlings looked at you in awe.

“Why – why don’t you go and watch the match and I stay with them?” you suggested carefully, watching as Krok’s whole face lit up.

“Don’t you want to see the matches?” the Armourer asked behind you.

“They need help,” you answered almost automatically, holding the baby closer to you who had now started to play with the stitching of your shirt, cooing at a loose piece of thread that was dangling in front of their tiny hands.

The Armourer nodded silently and for a moment you thought she seemed to be _impressed_. By _you_.

“Can I go see the match now?” Krok asked eagerly and you laughed.

“Please do, I need someone to keep an eye out on Paz.”

“Mr. Vizsla will win, right?” a small girl asked, a blanket in her hands, “He is so strong I heard he once defeated a mythosaur all on his own!”

“He is,” you agreed softly, watching as Krok and Armourer slipped away, “He is very strong and I am sure he will come back unharmed.”

You continued rocking the baby in your arms, watching as the children all seemed to gather in the middle of the room. They had pulled their blankets and pillows with them and you smiled at the realization that this was not the first time they had done this.

When all of them had settled down, some holding stuffies to their chest, some just shifting on their spot, you walked closer. With all of them looking at you like that, you knew something was up. A bunch of children were never this quiet just naturally.

“Can you tell us a story?”

“A story?” you asked, a bit taken aback. But the children all nodded.

“Uncle Paz always tells the best stories when we’re scared,” a little boy explained.

The image of Paz kneeling down with the foundlings he so easily dwarfed in his presence and telling them story after story made your heart warm and your chest feel oddly tight.

“Well then, I better think of a good one, right?” you smiled, sitting down on the soft floor while making sure the baby in your arms wasn’t jostled too much, “So where do we best get started?”

A chorus of questions flew at you, all ranging from “Did Mr. Vizsla paint his armour himself or is there really blue beskar out there?” to “Can you please tell Mr. Vizsla that we like his stories much more than Mr. Jaspar’s?”

But the question that stuck out to you was that of a small girl, looking at you with the biggest eyes you had ever seen, “Is it true that Mr. Vizsla can defeat a mythosaur all on his own?”

 _I don’t know but I have seen him shoot his way through Imperial troopers_ was the answer that rested on the tip of your tongue but with the baby in your arms and the toddlers in front of you, you were not sure if that was the kind of story you should tell them.

So, you decided to go a different route.

“Oh, it is,” you replied, “See, the day that we met we were chased by a whole herd of banthas and even Din was not quick enough to run from them so Paz came and …”

*

You did not know how long you spoke but as one story turned into two turned into three the baby in your arms was fast asleep and you carefully settled her in the little basin. The children were quiet and absolutely enthralled by your stories, sometimes asking questions but never really interrupting you.

It was a lot of fun and soon your worry for Paz shifted into the background.

When the door behind you opened with a creak, you were too busy telling the children your story to turn around. Krok would be happy for his break to be a bit longer, so surely he wouldn’t mind if you finished your story in peace. 

“Mesh’la –“

“Not now, Mr. Vizsla,” a girl chided him, “The story’s not done yet.”

Your voice faltered and you turned around.

There he was, standing tall and proud and unharmed.

The Armourer stood behind him as well as Krok who was sporting a big grin. But Paz did not slow his steps or leave the room again. Instead, he sat down next to you with a low grunt, one of the children immediately climbing onto his lap.

“I would never dream of interrupting,” he apologized, his head tilting towards you, “Go on, love.”

You smiled and continued your story.

You wanted to ask him about the fight, how it went, if he won. You wanted to ask him why he had not told you about it. You wanted to tell him about your talk with the Armourer and that she had apologized and that, while you were still wary of the council, you felt immensely better than before. You wanted to tell him that his students were absolutely adorable.

One of the smaller foundlings, no more than two years old, waddled towards you, clearly tired and falling into your lap. Your voice did not so much as pause as you continued the story all the while helping him sit up and situating him safely against your chest.

Your eyes drifted to Paz again and again, excitement bubbling up in your chest as he kept looking at you too. How were you supposed to be able to concentrate when all you could think of was this giant man holding a tiny foundling?

You did not know how you finished the story but the children seemed happy enough with it and turned their attention on their teacher.

“Did you win, Mr. Vizsla?”

“Was Mr. Jaspar really very mean, Mr. Vizsla?”

“Did you get hurt? Is that why your beskar is always dark?”

Paz chuckled, raising his hands to calm them down a bit.

“I won,” he answered and hearing him say it finally brought you a sense of relief, “And I did not get hurt.”

“Will you stay now?” one of the children piped up and if possible, it seemed that all of them shuffled a bit closer, expectantly looking up at their favourite teacher.

“I’m afraid he can’t,” the Armourer answered from behind you, “Mr. Vizsla has a very important task he needs to fulfil but then he can come back whenever he wants.”

The child in your lap looked up at you, “You too? Will you come back?”

You did not know what to say to that

“I hope so,” Paz replied for you, his fingers brushing against your knee as he stood up, “She will always be welcome here.” 

Your heart fluttered when no one disagreed with him.

*

“Why are you looking at me like this?”

You were on your way back to your room, the foundlings now happily back in the care of their usual guardian. Paz was walking beside you holding your hand in his as you turned corner after corner. But the longer you walked the more you noticed that he just kept looking at you.

It made you feel strangely excited and it unnerved you at the same time. Maybe something had gone wrong after all and he just could not admit it in front of the foundlings?

“Paz, what is –“

Your question ended in a yelp as Paz took a sharp turn and pulled you into a … wall? No, a closet. Before you could even register anything else you heard a lock click behind you and the helmet hiss and then his lips were on yours. The kiss was passionate, almost desperate and it immediately pulled you in, reciprocating in kind.

“Paz, what – what’s going on?”

“Mesh’la,” he groaned low into your ear, the sound making goosebumps appear on your skin, “By the stars seeing you like this in my _home_ ,” he sucked a mark into your skin and you leant your head against the wall behind you, “Could have taken you as soon as we left the nursery.”

You hiked your leg over his hip, wanting him closer and sighing as you smoothed your hands over his shoulder to the hair on the back of his neck.

A gloved hand held your throat, gently squeezing it before wandering to the neckline of your shirt and pulling it down until you were completely exposed. You gasped as his wet mouth closed over one nipple, sucking and licking it into a hardened peak before blowing on it, the air hitting your wet skin making you shudder. Stars what even was that?

“Paz …” you tried to gather your thoughts, grabbing his face in your hands and pulling him up so that he was looking at you. You could feel his nose brushing against yours and with your legs still draped over his hip you could feel his erection pulsing against you. In the fog of your arousal, you rubbed against him, gasping into his mouth, kissing him again.

“Paz, you are safe,” you sighed happily.

“Yes,” he murmured, nipping at your lip, “Safe and sound and gave both of them kriffing hell for how they talked to you,” he moved to suck on your neck again, his hand cupping your breast, “They will never talk badly about you again, will never dare to insult you like that, I made sure of it.”

“And then I came to see you,” he groaned, pushing against you again, “Taking care of the foundlings, holding little Arnis in your arms, stars, you look so pretty. Wanna come home to that every day.”

“Paz,” you gasped, letting your head fall back, as his lips wandered to that spot behind your ears that made your legs feel suspiciously weak, “You – you want that?”

“More than anything,” he whispered, slowing his ministrations until his lips were just brushing against yours, “One day, love, when we’re ready that – that could be our life.”

You smiled. Your heart felt soft at the images in your head. Holding a child in your arms that was both yours and Paz’. Paz cradling your child to his chest, telling them stories before bed. The idea that this really _could_ be your future if you wanted it to overwhelmed you with a happiness you had not known before.

“It could,” you agreed, kissing him softly as his warm hands gently pulled up your shirt, covering you again.

*

“So … how did it go?” you asked just as you crossed the threshold into the room.

Paz immediately started discarding his armour pieces, rolling his shoulders. “It was good,” he replied, “I challenged Jaspar first. He has always been an easy opponent and it was clear that he was the one who had started it.”

You held your hands out, helping him to sort the pieces on the table, “Why did he start it?”

“Because he is a jealous son of a …” Paz faltered when he saw your look, “He is a _chakaar_ and he deserved what was coming for him. And Kriel …”

“And Kriel?” you asked hesitantly, smoothing over the fabric on his shoulder, “What about him?”

“Kriel is an old fool who let power go to his head,” Paz grumbled, “He refused to acknowledge any wrongdoing and so I had to challenge him. I didn’t challenge Shala though,” he admitted, “She had apologized as soon as I voiced my doubts and she is one of the elders, challenging her would be a great disrespect.”

You hummed, “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to challenge them?”

Paz remained silent for a while, his hands holding yours to his chest. You watched as his thumbs started to rub circles over your skin.

“I –“ he started, pausing again as he searched for the words that seemed to escape him, “When you told me what they had done, you sounded so heartbroken and they had done that. And I – after last night and how happy you were I didn’t want to put you in that mindset again but I also, I needed to confront them to ask them what in the stars they had been thinking and when Kriel and Jaspar refused, there was nothing left except to challenge them and so I did,” his forehead came gently against yours, “Please know that if I had known it would end like this, I would have told you, mesh’la.”

“The next time you do something like this, I – I need to know please,” you whispered, “To think that something could have happened to you and I wouldn’t have known …” you shuddered.

“I promise,” Paz

“Now that we are on the topic of things we need to talk about,” you started, your heart racing in your chest, “I – Remember how you said that I should tell you if there are things I want to try?”

“Of course, love,” he nodded, sitting at the end of his bed and looking at you almost eagerly. If you had not been so nervous, you would have laughed at how excited he was for you to show him what you wanted to do.

With a deep breath, you picked up your datapad from the table and scrolled through the pictures you had saved. Wordlessly you handed him the display, avoiding to look at him until he voiced his opinion.

Your gaze was focussed on the floor when you heard him take a sharp breath in. “Mesh’la … _kriff_ , are you sure?”

You knew what he was seeing. A woman laying on the edge of the bed, her head hanging over it. The picture was taken from above and there, nestled in her throat, was the clear outline of a cock. It was almost perverse in its beauty, and the first time you had seen it, it had taken you a few moments to realize what you were actually seeing but then the thought had not left you.

“I – you mentioned you liked seeing the, uh, seeing yourself in my throat and I – I like it too,” you tried to explain, your hands fiddling in front of your middle, “And when I saw it I thought that maybe – maybe we could do that?”

You chanced a glance at him. His knees had spread further and you swore you saw a slight bulge in his dark pants that made you shift on your feet. Was he still hard from that make-out session in the closet? Was he hard again from thinking about this?

“Very,” you nodded, your eyes hooded as you watched him, “I – please fuck my throat, Paz?”

Before you could even blink, your world was turned upside down, quite literally. You were laying on the bed, your head hanging over the edge much as it had been on the picture. And standing in front of you, above you, was Paz. His thighs looked thick in the plates of his armourer and your hands reached out, wrapping around the back of them to get him closer.

As you looked up you could see not only the bulge that was quite prominently almost in your face but also Paz’ visor, looking down at you.

“Gotta keep the helmet on, love,” he said, almost as if apologizing but your throat went dry at the thought of him being able to freely look at you, “Is that alright with you?”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded, the movement a bit awkward with your head was hanging in the air. Your heart beat in your chest so hard you felt it in your ears. You swallowed harshly as you saw Paz’ big hand palm the tent in his pants before unzipping them, freeing his cock.

Stars, from how close you were you saw the pearl of precum on his tip and the way your mouth opened was almost automatic. Only when he groaned above you did you notice how you had stretched yourself to be closer to him, your tongue darting out.

“Open your mouth for me?” he asked, his voice already an octave lower and before the words had completely left his mouth you had opened your mouth wider, ready for him.

You saw his hips move, his hands slowly closing around your face as he surged forward, burying himself in your throat in one smooth thrust. Your throat closed around him almost instantly and you forced yourself to relax, to not gag around him already. But with how big he was, how full you felt, it brought tears to your eyes and you gagged anyway.

Paz pulled away from you and you gasped for breath. Before you knew it, he had thrust back into your throat and you swallowed around him, your hands flexing on his thighs.

“Kriff, I can see myself,” he growled above you, his hips starting to move faster, “You are treating me so well, mesh’la, look at that …”

A finger trailed from your jaw down your throat and you felt him move inside you. Your tongue wriggled underneath him, gaining you another of his lovely moans and his cock stilling as far in your throat as possible. Your chest heaved as you breathed through your nose, your tears already trailing over your skin.

As he continued to fuck your throat, your thighs clenched and with how your head was angled and your mouth forced to stay open, you started to feel the first trails of saliva escaping the corner of your mess. You were afraid you liked an absolute mess but as Paz pulled his hips back a bit more and you caught the gaze of his visor a low growl emitted from his chest and you choked on him.

“Can I come on your face, mesh’la?” he panted above you, “I – kriff, wanna see you all marked up and filthy.”

He pulled out of you, his hand closing around his shaft as he started to stroke himself and you could not do anything but watching him. Your eyes followed his every move, a trail of saliva connecting the tip of him and your mouth.

“I need an answer, love,” he growled, his grip tightening at the base and you squeezed your legs together, nodding eagerly with an open mouth. And just in time, it seemed.

He came in spurts all over your face, your mouth, and you licked your lips as thick drops ran down your skin. As more and more landed on your face, Paz’ heavy breathing loud in your ears, you closed your eyes, trying to prevent anything from irritating your eyes.

When he had not moved in a long time, you carefully sat up, trying to keep your balance with your eyes still squeezed shut. Gentle hands on your shoulders helped to turn you around, facing him.

“You look so pretty,” he whispered and his voice came from somewhere lower – had he kneeled down for you?

Then you felt his hands leave your shoulders and you flinched as you felt his finger high on your nose, almost the corner of your eye. You relaxed as you felt him free the bit of liquid on your eyes, his wet finger trailing over your bottom lip. Obediently you opened your mouth, letting him feed you his come on your finger with a happy hum.

“Good girl,” he praised you, his finger running over your cheek, gathering more

You felt the bed dipped beside you and opened your eyes, seeing yourself reflected in his visor. You really did look the mess you thought you looked but with Paz’ gentle fingers on your face you did not care. You felt so loved by him, by how his whole body was leaning towards you, his head tilted in that way that let you knew he was looking at you.

“Do you remember when I did that the first time?” he asked, his finger slipping between your lips, “I swore that night, it – it changed everything for me.”

“For me too,” you replied, searching for his eyes as his hand fell away from your face, “I – Paz I loved you so much already and I was so,” you swallowed harshly, tears gathering in your eyes, “I was so happy you agreed to it.”

“Hey, don’t cry, love,” Paz shushed you, a panicked undertone in his voice. His hand went to the back of your neck, pulling you close to him and you willingly followed. With his forehead pressed against yours, you took a deep breath.

“Please … pleased don’t cry, I love you, mesh’la, I will never be as stupid as I was then and let you go. From now on, you will always wake up with me next to you, I promise, okay?”

You nodded, looking at him with big eyes and smiling, “Okay.”

“Now,” he chuckled, “What do you say I make you come, hm? You did so well, taking my load on your face, what do you want me to do? Eat you out? Fuck you? Put my fingers in that pretty pussy of yours?”

“Um,” you shifted, your gaze wandering to where he was already half-hard again, swallowing heavily, “I – I think I want you to fuck me.”

Before you knew it, you were laying flat on your back, your shirt ripped from you and your squeal of surprise turned into giggles as his hands ran over your waist to your chest. The coldness of his helmet touched your collarbone and you giggled again, trying to push him off which resulted in his laughter sounding through the room.

“Get off me, Paz,” you giggled, your hands gripping his shoulders, “You are too heavy.”

But he did not listen to you. Instead, he rested more of his weight on you, “I don’t think you want me to get off you, do you?” he growled, grinding into you, “I think you want me to stay right here, hm?”

His cock was hot and heavy against you, the pressure on your folds exhilarating and you nodded. “Yes,” you gasped, your hands leaving his shoulders and starting to take your skirt off, “Please stay.”

You saw how his visor glanced down, taking in how you had not worn anything underneath it the entire time.

He growled, “My filthy girl, you really do want me to fuck you.”

You nodded, your hands greedily brushing over every part of his body you could reach, leaning up on your elbows to press kisses to his neck and what you could reach of his jaw. His skin tasted salty from sweat and once again you were reminded that he had fought.

He had fought for you.

The blunt head of his cock pushed against you and your eyes flew open. When had he taken off his pants? Your eyes glanced down, taking his size in as he rested between your legs, looking way too big for you.

“You already took me so well,” Paz murmured soothingly, his hand gripping your hip, “You’ll be able to take me again, I’ll be slow, yeah?”

You nodded quickly, fascinated as he started to slowly push into you. Feeling your walls open up and stretching for him while also seeing how _huge_ he was, slowly disappearing into, sent another rush of wetness through your core and you clenched.

Just as he had promised, Paz was slow. Slow and careful as he pushed into and pulled out of you, only going deeper when your walls had accommodated him so far. It was sweet, sweet torture, being on the brink when he had pushed into you and still teetering on the edge when he started to quicken his pace.

As he fucked into you, his body covered you almost entirely. All you could see, all you could feel, was him.

“Can I try something, mesh’la?”

“Uh-huh.”

You felt his hand close around your throat in just the lightest of squeezes and your eyes flew open. Your face was reflected in the black of his visor, you could see how your lips were parted, your face a mess of come and tears, your pupils blown wide. The sheer dominance he exuded over you made you clench around him.

Paz chuckled. “Interesting,” he mumbled with his hand still wrapped around your throat, “when I want you to open up, I just give you my finger to suck on, but if I want you even tighter, I just,” he tightened the grip around your throat, by far not enough to cut off your airflow but enough to have you feel it.

“Harder,” you breathed out, your eyes wide as you spread your legs even further, “Squeeze harder, Paz, please, I –“

He did not even hesitate to obey your request, this time only marginally slimming your airflow and it made everything that much more intense. You clamped so hard around him you were sure you had to hurt him but the groan he let out was loud and rough and oh so delicious to hear. You gasped for air, Paz’ loosening his grip immediately and you came harder than you had ever before.

Wave after wave washed over you as your body was in pure ecstasy of not only him continuing to thrust into you but also of the rush of oxygen in your lungs.

“There we go, mesh’la,” he encouraged you, his hand that had been around your throat now wandering to your clit, “you liked my hand ‘round your throat, huh? Like me to be the one in charge?”

“Y-yes,” you whimpered, pushing your hips up into his, wanting to feel him more as is grip tightened, “I – _oh_!”

With a low growl that vibrated in his chest, Paz came inside you. A lot. Even as your hips feel to the bed, the strain too much on your exhausted body, Paz’ hips followed behind, his cock reaching as deep inside you as possible. Still, you felt his come escape around him and your ears burned when you felt it wetting your thighs.

Your chest heaved as you tried to calm down, your body feeling weightless from all the pleasure. Paz’ helmet fell against your forehead once again, the gesture so intimate and his hands so gentle on your skin it made you feel all warm.

“Good girl,” he whispered in your ears, “You did so well, my love, I’m so proud of you. Will you close your eyes for me?”

You did as he told, a smile forming on your lips as you heard the familiar hiss. Then, his lips pressed against your throat, the very spot where his fingers had been before. You sighed, baring your throat for him as he planted more and more gentle kisses on your skin.

“You wanna take a shower?” he asked lowly, “I got you all – all messy and as much as I love to see you like this, I want you comfortable for bed.”

You grinned at his comment. “Can you come with me?” you replied drowsily, your hands kneading into his shoulders, “Don’t want to leave you yet.”

“If you keep your eyes closed on the way there, then yes,” he chuckled, fishing for one of your hands and pressing it to his mouth, “I can keep the bathroom dark and we can enjoy the shower together, does that sound good?”

“Sounds absolutely perfect,” you answered with a smile, wrapping your arms tighter around him and squeezing your eyes even more closed.

Paz stood up, his hands softly guiding you through the room, his chest warm against your back as he led you to the refresher. Much to his words, he left the room dark and as you heard the door click behind you, you opened your eyes. You could not see the hand in front of your face but it became clear quite quickly that this was Paz’ _home_ – and he knew his way around it even in the dark.

The sound of rushing water startled you but soon Paz’ was pulling you under the water and you moaned at the warm water hitting your back. The large man in front of you let his forehead fall against yours once again and you frowned.

“Does … does that mean something? The forehead touch?” you asked, smiling as his nose nudged against yours.

“It is called a keldabe in Mando’a,” he explained, his voice sending shudders down your back – the good kind, “It’s a – it’s a kiss, mesh’la. A Mandalorian kiss.”

“A kiss?” you repeated, your heart stopping in your chest and then racing, “But you – that night when I – “

Images flashed before you. How you had asked him to teach you that night that felt so long ago, how his forehead had fallen against yours, resting there as he told you he could not take the helmet off. If that had been a Mandalorian kiss already, then –

“I told you, cyare,” he whispered, his lips brushing against yours, “You were so important to me already, I – I loved you then as I love you now.”

Tears gathered in your eyes again and you were happy he could not see them. Although from how softly his lips pressed against yours, his tongue slipping inside your mouth, you had a suspicion he knew how emotional you were.

Your hands wandered up to his jaw, holding you to him as you deepened the kiss even more, completely ignoring that you were standing under the shower. “I love you,” you whispered before kissing him again, “I love you so much, Paz. I can’t wait to be home with you.”

“Tomorrow we will be on the ship again,” he whispered into the curve of your throat, his hands gliding along the skin of your hips up to your neck, gently pulling you into him, “Then we will fly home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	11. Problems And Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting your journey back to Din and the group, you make a grave mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: explicit sexual content, some fluff, some angst, descriptions of a panic attack, conversations about the future, slight cliffhanger ending
> 
> Hello again, it’s been a minute! As some of you may know, I am taking a bit of a longer break from tumblr and at first, I thought I would include Ao3 in that but after a lot of soul searching I found that, at least at the moment, it is only tumblr that I am anxious about and so I will continue to post my work on here whenever it is finished. Not much to say about this chapter other than I am kinda proud of it and I hope you like it! As always, let me know what you think!

“Mesh’la …”

“Hm.”

“Mesh’la, cyare, you need to get up,”

“I don’t want to,” you mumbled into your pillow, holding the blanket to your chest, “’tis so comfortable.”

The voice chuckled and your eyes fluttered open only to be met with the dark blue beskar helmet of your lover. Paz was already completely dressed in his armour, not a piece looking out of place and you sat up, blinking the sleep out of your eyes.

“What time is it?”

“Later than I had planned,” Paz admitted, standing up now that you were awake and walking towards the bags that sat on the small table, “But I know how much you needed the rest.”

The air was cold on your naked skin as you held the sheets up to your chest.

“You only need to get dressed and then we can be on our way,” Paz explained, “I know this is a little rushed but I don’t want to stay too long when –“

“When they might still search for me,” you nodded, understanding what he meant. You allowed yourself a moment to mourn the warmth and comfort of the bed before you threw them off your body. Quickly you jumped off the bed, hurrying towards where you had laid out your clothes for today.

You rushed to climb into your panties, slipping a tunic over your head in record time. But just as you were about to step into your skirt, your body already yearning for the way the soft fabric would keep you warm, big hands stopped you, wrapping around your middle and pulling you into a beskar-clad chest.

“Cold, mesh’la?”

It was hard not to hear the teasing in his voice as the cold metal of his helmet landed on your shoulder. You were thankful that he had taken off his gloves, his skin radiating warmth through the thin fabric of your tunic.

“Not if you let me get dressed,” you replied, cheekily wriggling your ass against him to get the space you needed to pull up your skirt.

With a playful smack to the soft flesh, Paz let go of you, his laughter sounding strangely scratched through his helmet. “Sorry, cyare, can’t keep my hands off you,” he murmured, his hand softly grabbing yours his as his thumb brushed your knuckles, “Did – did you sleep well?”

You thought back to how you had spent the night wrapped up in each other, your legs tangled together just as your head had found the space between his neck and shoulder. You smiled.

“I slept very well.”

Paz stood there, his head tilted to the side and you copied him, a small frown on your face as you tried to decipher what he must be thinking at that moment. “Is everything alright, Paz?”

“Y-yeah,” he cleared his throat, straightening his posture before busing his hands with folding the dark blue blanket together, “Was just thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked easily, putting on your shoes.

“About yesterday.”

The way his answer was clipped let you know he probably did not want to talk about it anymore and you respected his unspoken wish. Although you were curious now. Yesterday had been so eventful, what exactly had he been thinking about?

His fight? The foundlings? That conversation in the closet? Or the way he had fucked you until you had seen only stars behind your eyes?

“So, what’s the plan today?” you asked instead, shouldering your bag and taking the folded blanket from him, “Where’s the next stop?”

“I …. I don’t know yet,” the large man admitted and you could not hide the surprise on your face. Until now, it had always seemed like Paz was one step ahead, one step further on the map than anyone else and for him to now admit that he did not know where he would fly you to next?

That was unusual.

But you did not say anything. Not yet anyway. Paz had never led you astray and he would not start now. Right?

With the room now completely emptied of your belongings, you looked back. It looked just as it had the day you had arrived and it sent a pang to your heart. Next to you, Paz did not move from his spot, his visor fixed on his … his _home_.

“Will you miss it?” you asked softly, reaching for his hand.

He squeezed your hand. “It’s alright cyare, I will not miss it. Home is never a place, it’s a person, your family and …” he trailed off, lost in his thoughts and you frowned again when he did not seem to have any intention of finishing his thought.

What was going on with him?

You kept it to yourself as you were walking down the hallways to his ship. Your fingers buried in the soft bedding, already looking forward to sleeping in the bunk that had become so familiar to you now.

“Do I need to be worried?”

“What?”

“Do I need to be worried about you?” you repeated your question, still looking ahead, “It’s like you … I don’t know, you’re different this morning. If you want to stay another day, Paz, we can, we just –“

“No, it’s fine, cyare, I promise,” he protested calmly, “I just – the conversation we had yesterday about children, it didn’t leave me.”

At his words, your heart skipped a beat. He was thinking about that conversation.

“Me neither,” you responded shifting the blanket in your arm, “Maybe we could … talk about it when we’re on the ship?”

“That sounds good, mesh’la,” he nodded, his visor already reflecting the bright lights ahead, “I – I’d like that …”

Much like the day of your arrival, the harbour was filled with lots and lots of Mandalorians. Only now it seemed like they were waiting for you. As soon as they spotted you two arriving, the chatter died down and … a line seemed to be forming, right at the very entrance to your ship.

You recognized the Armourer first, standing tall and proud as she waited for you and Paz to come to her.

“Paz Vizsla,” she said, loud and clear, and now even the last conversations died down as everyone looked to the man next to you, “You are leaving us yet again.”

“As is my duty.”

She inclined her head, declaring the exchange over before she turned to you. She said your name just as loudly and you braced yourself to remain standing just as proud and not let the surroundings intimidate you.

“It was an honour to get to know you,” she declared before adding, a little softer, “And it will be an honour to welcome you back into our covert, should you choose to return.”

Something about her acknowledging you like that – officially announcing her approval in front of everyone who was there – it made your heart feel that much lighter. You nodded with a smile, not finding the words to properly thank her.

You got it now. This was her official apology.

Next to her, two much more unpleasant men waited to say their farewells.

Of course, you should not be surprised. Paz had told you after all that he had won the fights. That he had demanded an apology for how they had treated you.

That was how you came face to face with the councilmember who had made you cry.

“Safe travels,” Kriel grumbled, his face showing his disdain for his situation. Then he fell silent.

You could feel Paz looming behind you, his chest plate touching your back, and you did not want to imagine how threatening he must look to those who did not know him.

Jaspar stuck his elbow into Kriel’s side, hissing something Mando’a and you smiled, patiently waiting for the man to find his words again. You were not one to gloat in the misery of others but after how he had treated you, you could not help but feel a little rebellious. If he thought you would make this easy on him, he was sorely mistaken.

You would make this as easy on him as he had been on you.

“I ... also want to say that I am … _sorry_ ,” he reluctantly brought out, “My treatment of you was disrespectful and not worthy for a guest of our tribe. I will aim to do better in the future.”

“You better,” Paz grumbled behind you and you tried your best to not snort in laughter at Kriel’s indignant facial expression.

“Thank you,” you said, nodding your head, “I appreciate your apology.”

Next, it was Jaspar’s turn and you turned to him with a lighter heart. He did not seem to be so averse to apologizing to you. Or rather he was not brave enough to openly oppose both Paz and the Armourer. He was a coward, just like Paz had said.

“I am sorry,” he said, point-blank. With how straight he was standing, his visor not moving one bit, you were not sure if he was even looking at you. At least it was something.

Paz growled something in Mando’a behind you, stepping to the side as if to grab the other man by the neck but you stopped him.

Your hand shot out, landing on his cuirass with a clank just as he had rushed forwards. Paz froze.

“Don’t bother,” you whispered, fixing Jaspar with your gaze, “We can have that conversation when we come back.”

Paz relaxed behind you, his hand finding its way to your waist instead. He gently pulled you along, closer to the ship, closer to the end of the line.

Krok was the last one waiting for you, a sad look on his face as he shuffled his feet. “When you said I’d be your student I didn’t really think about the fact that Jaspar would be the one who teaches in your absence,” he grumbled to Paz and you smiled.

“Say what you will about Jaspar but he will take your education seriously,” Paz assured the boy, amusement swinging in his voice, “And I am sure that you succeed as a warrior despite him. You have potential. Don’t waste it.”

To say Krok’s face lit up would be an understatement. The boy was positively glowing at the compliment from his idol, so much so that he could only stammer out his farewell words, his mouth split wide in a grin.

“Goodbye, Krok,” you said, “It was a pleasure meeting you.”

And as you turned your back to the gathered Mandalorians, you knew that you had meant it.

*

It did not really click until you were in the atmosphere, the stars becoming blurry around you. You had really left the covert behind. It was just you and Paz again.

A heavy breath escaped you and Paz did the same, relaxing back into the pilot’s seat. The cockpit was silent except for the quiet beeping of the ship and you took a moment to just appreciate the peace and quiet.

“So, what do we do now?” you asked quietly, not wanting to invade this sacredness of the space, “Where will we go?”

“I think, it’s time we talk to the others,” Paz explained, punching in numbers and coordinates into the navigational system, “C’mon over here, they should see you too, love.”

He stood up, waving you over to him where he was standing. Curiously you did as he told you to, feeling his hand carefully guide you until you, too, were in the viewfinder of the camera. It looked comical, the way he was looming over you and you heard him chuckle.

“Hello there, little one,” he teased you, his hand coming up from behind you and sweeping over your shoulder to your jaw, cupping your chin and gently pulling your back so he could press his cold forehead against your neck.

Your shivered but did not move away from him, not when he seemed to be need thing the physical contact as much as you did.

“I’m not used anymore to have layers between us,” he whispered and you could hear the yearning in his voice that you felt in your heart, “I just want to touch you, mesh’la.”

“You can touch me when we know where we’re going,” you murmured, looking to where the device was building up a connection to the Razor Crest, “We have so much time then.”

“You’re right,” he rumbled, his hand drifting to your hip, “So much time to make you come in our bed. I can’t wait.”

Before you could reply, the picture flickered and you watched with a hammering heart as your friends appeared as little holograms on the dashboard. Cara and Din were standing there, hands on their hips while Din also held a small bundle with big ears.

“It’s good to see you,” Cara greeted you with a broad smile on her face.

You could not help your smile as he reached his little hands towards you as if wanting to be picked up by you. Your heart was hammering in your chest, your fingers twitching by your side. You missed the little one.

You wanted nothing more than to hold him to your chest and feel his ears twitch against your chin as he looked up at you.

“It’s good to see _you_ ,” Paz replied, “Good to know you’re not rotting in some cell somewhere.”

Din did not react to the jab but you did see how his helmet tilted ever so slightly as if he was amused. “I heard you ran into some complications,” he said instead, “What did you get up to when being left to your own devices, vod?”

Paz grunted next to you and you felt his hand low on your back. “Jaspar got what was coming for him.”

“Good to know, never liked him anyway,” Din muttered, “But now that you’re out of there, I think it’s time you come back to the ship.”

Paz shifted next to you, his hand wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Technically, you knew that they wouldn’t be able to see Paz’ hand on your back. But the fact that he did it so casually as if he wasn’t afraid at all for them to see it made your stomach do flips.

Din’s words evoked a twisted feeling in you.

On the one hand, you couldn’t wait to go back. To spend your days with your favourite people and play catch with the child. On the other hand, that meant giving up this precious time you had with Paz – all alone. While you doubted that your or his feelings would change, going from a ship you had for yourself to sharing one among five people was a big step.

“Very well,” the man next to you nodded, “We will set course to Tatooine, Tomax promised I could leave my ship with him when it came to it. We should be there in a few days, don’t get lost.”

He went to end the transmission but then the child cooed loudly, reaching out to touch him and you watched as his movements slowed.

“Hello, little one,” you said with a smile, “Did you miss us?”

The child started babbling almost feverishly as if he knew he did not have enough time to relay all his experiences to you and it made you tear up how happy he sounded. Din bobbed him up and down, trying to calm him down.

“That’s the most he’s talked in days,” he commented and your heart broke.

“Well, get ready for him to never shut up,” Paz stated, “We will be home son, ad’ika, yeah? You get her all to yourself, then.”

Cara chuckled, talking over the child’s talking, “We will be waiting for you, see you soon!”

The child’s babbling cut off and you whimpered at the sudden silence. Your heart was reaching for him and you could see Paz leaning his forehead against the dashboard, clearly not unaffected by the display of emotions from the child.

“Let’s get going,” he said just as he started to correct the course of the ship, “Don’t want to keep the little one waiting longer than necessary.”

*

The first day on the ship was spent getting everything in order, adjusting back to life in these small quarters.

You had not thought that it would take any adjustment at all – you had only been on land for roughly three days after all – but you noticed quickly that you were wrong. The mere thought of opening the door and a having a whole covert to explore made your feet itch with the need to walk. A need that was not easily fulfilled on the ship.

At least with the crates gone, the hull was free to move in and you soon spotted Paz laying down his training mats and getting to work. You settled on a bench nearby, not even pretending to read the datapad n your hands. You were just watching him as he took off piece after piece of armour until he was only left in his clothes and helmet.

How weird, it was, you thought, that the last time you had seen him like this was only a couple of days ago and now so much had happened, so much had changed. You had confessed your feelings and slept together and you had grown in a situation which you were sure you would not have been able to deal with just a year ago.

It felt like an eternity.

And while Paz got busy doing push-ups and some other exercises, you were distracted by the almost conversation you had had this morning.

Having a family had always been something you wanted, it had not even been a question. And after that conversation in the dark a few weeks ago, you knew that Paz, too, wanted children. Only you had never really explicitly talked about the very real possibility that came up now that you two were … together.

It made your heart race, beating strongly in your chest as you tried to gather the courage to talk to him about it. Especially after that display of affection and – and _lust_ when he had seen you with the foundlings, you knew that he must have some desire for children with you.

With a groan, Paz stood up, not even a drop of sweat anywhere on his body. “What is wrong, mesh’la?” he asked, walking closer to you, “You seem lost in thought.”

“So … children,” you started, ungraciously bringing out your thoughts that had been bugging you ever since this morning.

Paz froze, clearly cautious in his movement as if he did not want to scare you away. (As if he ever could.)

“Yes, children, mesh’la,” he repeated, sitting down next to you. He rested his forearms on his knees, leaning forwards.

“With me?” you clarified, embarrassed by how squeaky your voice suddenly sounded.

“Yes, with you, my love,” Paz chuckled. He turned to face you then, taking your hands in his and you wondered if he was as nervous as you about it.

“I know we talked about it a little,” you started, “But after yesterday and what you said about – about the foundlings, I was wondering …”

“Wondering what?”

“I,” you frowned, “I don’t even know. I guess I was just taken aback by how real it could all be. I – I want children, it’s just …”

“It’s never been a possibility,” Paz finished for you and you nodded, looking at how small your hands were compared to his. How small a child’s hand would look next to him …? Your heart skipped a beat.

You smiled, “Exactly.”

“Well, just know that – that if you ever _want_ it to be a possibility,” Paz said, his thumb running over your knuckles, “I would not be opposed to it.”

“That sounds good,” you whispered and, in the silence, you swore that under his helmet that Paz smiled too.

*

The second day, on the other hand, you could not keep your hands away from each other.

You did not know what it was. As soon as you woke up in his arms, you did not want to leave him. You buried your face in his neck and pleaded for him to stay and Paz, too, seemed reluctant to get up at all.

“How long ‘till we’re there?” you mumbled into his chest, your eyes still closed as your fingertips drew patterns over his belly.

“Two days or so,” he grumbled, pulling you closer to him, “Don’t want to leave the bed until then.”

Your giggles were muffled by how your face was pressed against his bare skin but you could feel him chuckling as well, his hands sweeping up to your shoulder blades, his fingers splaying out to touch as much of you as he could.

“You don’t have to,” you replied, cheekily pressing a kiss to his skin, then another and another and another …

“If you keep that up I just might to take you up on that,” he growled, shifting, and you squealed when he pulled you on top of him. He pressed his forehead against yours, the cold steel of his helmet preventing you from being close to him and your heart ached.

You wished you could kiss him again, wished the blindfold was not packed away in a crate too far way to reach it now, wished you could feel him …

His hands wandered to your hips as he sat up, effectively making you straddle him and you grinned as you felt him growing against you. An experimental grind against him later, Paz’ hands had you pinned to him, holding you down against his bulge as he ground up into you.

“What do you think you’re doing, love?”

“Making you take me up on that offer,” you teased him, leaning down to mouth at his neck. The groan he let made you clench. With your naked chest pressed against his, you could feel him gripping his shaft, running the tip through your wet folds and you sat up on your knees, allowing him to line up with you.

“Your wish is my command,” he grunted as you started to lower yourself on him.

Curiosity flared up in you and as he pushed into you slowly, your walls fluttering around him, you looked down. Seeing him disappear in you, pared with the feeling of being stretched so impossibly wide and his harsh breaths in your ear – it made your heart race and your body heat up.

You could feel your slick coating him, helping you take him in stride and as you sank down on him completely it felt as if your breath had been knocked out of you. Paz’ visor was fixed on you and you wondered what you must look like to him, all wide eyes and gaping mouths as you tentatively started to move.

Paz panted words in Mando’a that you did not even try to understand, too busy to move your hips on top of his and relish in the feeling of him hitting so deep it felt like he was rearranging your insides. But what you did fleetingly catch were words like mesh’la and cyare that filled your heart with warmth.

“I love you,” you gasped against him, rocking against him again and again, chasing that feeling that you knew only he could give you, “I love you, Paz.”

“I love you too,” he groaned, his hands pulling you closer to him, forcing him even deeper and your eyes rolled back, “Love the way you clench around me when I’m that deep, love how I can feel that you’re close. So _close_ , you’re fluttering around me. Come for me, love, I need to feel you squeeze me real tight before I can fill you up.”

“Paz!” you gasped at his words, quickening your pace. His hands supported your body as he did his best to meet your thrusts. You pushed your hand between your legs, fingers seeking out your clit, rubbing it furiously as you chased your high.

“What do you need?” he asked breathlessly, visor fixed on where you were touching yourself.

“Need - need to kiss you,” you whined, head clouded with pleasure, “I want to kiss you, Paz, please …”

Paz hummed against you, “Close your eyes, love.”

You frowned and when you saw how his hands went to his helmet, your hips faltered, “Without the blindfold?”

“I trust you, mesh’la,” he whispered, “just keep your eyes closed.”

And you did.

You squeezed them shut so hard it almost hurt but you did not want to betray his trust and, even more, you wanted to kiss him. The kiss was slow and intimate, your tongues dancing around each other as Paz’ pushed you down on his cock.

You could feel your high nearing, your walls clamping around him and then –

The ship lurched.

Or rather, it felt like it was giving out from beneath you. You screamed, trying to grasp onto something to keep steady and your eyes went wide in shock before you knew what you were doing.

But it was already too late.

Your eyes were open and you were _looking_.

Stars, you were _looking at him._

The first thing you noticed was dark eyes. Dark eyes and dark hair and there was a scar on his forehead that you want to trace with your fingertips and you wanted to kiss the crinkles next to his eyes.

It was quiet for a moment as you both looked at each other, shocked and scared and trembling.

Before you could say anything, anything at all, to apologize, Paz had grabbed his helmet from beside him and put it one before depositing you from his lap and onto the bed.

“Pa –“

He ran out of the room, pants in hand, not letting you finish.

And so, you sat there, any spark of arousal gone and instead replaced by pure dread. You had betrayed him, betrayed his trust and had looked at him when you knew you should not have. Tears gathered in your eyes. What were you supposed to do now? What could you do now? How angry he must be at you …

You started sobbing in earnest, then. You knew that the Mandalorian Creed was very strict about these things and more than once you had heard Din say that he would kill any living thing that saw him without his helmet. Was that the rules Paz had to follow too?

He loved you, he had said so himself, so surely, he would not kill you but – you hiccupped – what if he would set you out on some nearest planet and never talk to you again?

You tried to catch your breath, tried to get rid of the tight feeling in your chest but it just would not go away. Tears were streaming own your face, unceremoniously dropping from your chin as you tried to avoid the spiral of guilt and despair that you found yourself in.

And all for what? A kiss? Because you were too greedy, too needy to have him close to just go one time without kissing him.

“No worries, it was just an autopilot adjustment, proves that I should have gotten out of bed after all but at least it should work fine for no- mesh’la?” Paz froze in the doorframe, looking at your form on the bed.

You slapped your hand over your mouth, trying to keep your crying at bay but seeing him so nonchalant broke your heart. How was he not worried about this?

Paz practically ran over to you, kneeling down in front of the bad and taking your hands in his, “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head, taking a deep breath. “I saw you, Paz,” you confessed quietly, “you trusted me and I _looked_ at you and I am so sorry. I never – never wanted to betray you like this. I have ruined everything …” you trailed off, new tears running down your cheeks as you whimpered.

For a long while, Paz said nothing, just brushing your knuckles. The longer it went on, the more horrible you felt. You really had ruined everything, hadn’t you?

“I’ll pretend it never happened,” Paz finally stated, his voice sounding determined, “No one has to know but nothing will happen to you while I’m alive and I’ll be the last person to ever do that to you.”

“I - I don’t want you to break your Creed, Paz,” you protested quickly, “I – Do you really want to do that? Pretending it did not happen? Could you really live with it?”

He sighed as his shoulders dropped in defeat, “No. No, I couldn’t.”

New tears gathered in your eyes and you felt your bottom lip trembling as you tried to hold yourself together, at least a little.

“Look, mesh’la, I could never _ever_ hurt you and I’m too – you mean too much to me now. I love you,” he swallowed, his thumb gently tracing over your knuckles, “we could say the words and you’d be my spouse and I could take off my helmet for you. But, but if you don’t want that, and that’s absolutely in your rights to not want that with me, just say so and I’ll – we’ll find a way. I promise we will.”

Your breath hitched as you looked at him in shock.

“Mandalorian courtship has always been on the shorter side,” Paz continued, “we know when someone is it for us and I know you are it for me. I have known for quite a while but I also know that it is a big decision and – mesh’la, I am ready to have children with you and I am ready to marry you. When – when you looked at me, I didn’t even notice for a moment that this is not how it’s supposed to be … yet.”

You giggled through your tears, more desperate than actually amused but here you were, naked in his bed, crying as he talked about marrying you as if it was something he would have you convince you to do. As if that was something that had never crossed your mind before.

“I love you, Paz,” you brought out, “I do and I – I am so scared now and confused and I don’t know why – why this is all so much right now. But I know that I want this. I want your children, I want a family and a future with you. I do.”

He looked up at you quickly as if he was actually surprised by your answer. But he nodded and squeezed both of your hands before standing up.

“I’ll let you think about it, alright? You don’t need to decide right now and I won’t be angry if you say no, just keep that in mind, please,” his fingers brushed over your cheek, “I meant what I said, mesh’la. No Mandalorian could keep me from you now.”

You nodded, running your hands over your cheeks to calm yourself down a little. He did not want to leave you on a strange planet. He wanted to marry you.

“I’m going up to the cockpit, okay? You take all the time you want, love, we have enough water reserves for a nice long shower, if you like, hm?”

You nodded again, watching him walk away and leave you to your own thoughts.

It was in the shower that you finally were in the headspace to think clearly. The warm water was running down your back and you took great care in washing your face of any of the tears. Now that the anxiety was slowly fading, you got to see just how much you had already spiralled.

How did you think that he would talk to you about children one day and then abandon you on the nearest planet the next? Paz would never hurt you. Never.

Anxiety really was a pain in the ass.

Your mind went back to his … you hesitated to call it a proposal because it was not. Maybe a proposition?

Your mind went back to his proposition. He had thought about marrying you. He said that he had known for a long time already and something about that statement made your heart feel like it was flying out of your chest.

Your instinct reaction would be to say yes, to accept. You doubted that you could ever love anyone as much as you loved him and these past few weeks had shown you that he felt the same for you. You felt safe and heard and to imagine a family with him came as naturally as walking.

It was quicker than most people’s courtships on your planet, that was for sure. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you wondered if your parents might judge you for it. If Din and Cara would judge you for it. After all, they had sent you away as two partners in a mission and you were sure that they did not expect you to come back married.

But you loved Paz.

You loved his laugh, loved the way he touched you so gently (and rougher, when you wanted him to), loved the passion he had for his job and the love he had for the children around him. And he loved you.

Why did it matter what other people would think? Why would you give them the right to judge you like this?

They had not lived the life you had lived, they had not experienced how loved you felt by him.

You shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, towelling your body dry. The more you thought about it, the more excited you got. A life with Paz. What more could you wish for?

Throwing on your dress, you walked to the cockpit, each footstep echoing in your heart. You felt like you would burst at any moment with nervousness.

Paz was sitting in the pilot chair, his back to you, as he muttered to himself in Mando’a. You could see him working on something at the dashboard, turning around when he heard your footsteps.

“There you are,” he greeted you, his voice soft, “You wanna sit down? I got you another blanket, it seems the heater is having some problems.”

You took a deep breath, “Paz, will you marry me?”


	12. Dreamscapes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paz takes you to a place you know all too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the lovely and awesome feedback on the last chapter! In this chapter, we get a bit of a resolution as well as Reader finding her voice. As always, let me know what you think!
> 
> Warnings: explicit sexual content, cream pies, hint of a breeding kink, dirty talk, some rougher sex, exhibitionism, semi-public sex oral fixation, finger sucking, protective!Paz, also Paz gets a little aggressive (not towards the reader) and there is a physical altercation

You had never seen Paz move so fast.

“A-are you sure, mesh’la?” he asked, coming to stop right in front of you, a suspicious wavering in his voice, “I don’t want to pressure you into anything you’re not ready for … This is certainly not how I planned on doing it.”

You blinked in surprise, a slight smile on your lips, “You thought about it?”

Paz let out a heavy breath, his hand coming up to your elbow and guiding you to the chairs. “I did,” he sat down and you followed, “I, uh, ever since Tatooine, actually,” he confessed, “I just wanted to show you that I could be a good match.”

 _Tatooine_ , it echoed in your head. Tatooine, the very first stop you had made on your journey. He had been sure then. While you had still doubted he could ever feel something more than friendship for you, he had known he wanted to marry you.

Your throat felt dry and you swallowed past the lump, trying to get your emotions in check.

“So … are we getting married?” you asked, your voice trembling ever so slightly as Paz tilted his head, standing up and holding his hand out to you.

“Looks like we are, love.”

You grinned, unable to hide your excitement as you took his hand. He pulled you up with a force that almost had you flying against his chest and you laughed. He caught you, holding you by your hips just as his forehead lowered against yours.

“Ready for your wedding, mesh’la?”

“What?” you asked surprised, “Don’t you have – don’t we have to prepare some things?”

“Not really,” he shrugged, “Or do – do we? Do _you_?”

“Well, usually we dress up for the occasion and go somewhere nice and rings are exchanged and –“ you stopped realizing that it would be most unlikely that you would get to do any of the traditional wedding things from your planet.

Your shoulders fell, a disappointment you had not expected coursing through you. You loved Paz and you were happy to marry him. But somehow the idea of just doing it on the ship, not making a big fuss about it, it felt underwhelming in a way.

This day would be special no matter what you did but then again … you did not want it to feel rushed.

Noticing your dilemma, Paz bumped his forehead against yours, pulling you out of your thoughts as he took your hands in his.

“I don’t have a ring but I know you have that you have this pretty dress that you love and I could fly us to somewhere nice if you like?” he suggested, “This is your wedding, too, mesh’la, and I want you to enjoy it.”

“But Tatooine,” you argued, your initial itinerary in the back of your mind, “Can we really keep the others waiting that long?”

Paz scoffed, “The way I know Din’s luck paired with his navigational skills, we could take a detour to Coruscant and he would still be the one to keep us waiting.”

He was right and you felt bad even as you laughed. Din had horribly bad luck and the Crest never seemed to get through one trip without getting at least a little damaged. His estimation of Din’s travel time was therefore not that far off.

“Okay,” you nodded with a smile, “Do you know any places that would be close by?”

“I have just the place in mind, cyare,” Paz rumbled, “Go get your dress, it will only take a few hours tops before we’re there.”

*

Paz had never spent so long to polish his armour. The last time he could remember even being marginally close was the first time he had donned his helmet. Ever since the helmet had left the forge he had kept it secure in his bunk, polishing it every chance he got with an excitement that had soon given way to routine.

Now, though, he felt that excitement stirring up again.

He knew you did not care what he looked like. Knew that you would marry him even if he looked like he just came out of a Coruscant sewer. But he wanted to look good for you.

As soon as he had seen how you skipped towards your room in search for your favourite dress, he knew that he wanted to do what he could to elevate his looks as well. Which meant that not only did he take the longest shower of his life, he also made sure to trim his beard and somehow get his hair in order.

You had seen him already but that had been … unprepared and unintended. For the first time, you would see him as your husband, Paz wanted to look good for you. He looked at himself in the reflection of his beskar, taking note of the various scares that littered his face and body. Each and every one presented a story he would be able to tell you and later your children. Suddenly everything seemed very _very_ real.

When he had been younger, he thought that there would be a fear of rejection when it came to revealing himself to someone. That taking off his helmet for someone was something forced rather than voluntarily because why would he ever want to take his helmet off for anybody?

Yet on the day he was marrying, Paz was not afraid. You loved him. And, after the few seconds that you actually had seen him, you had not rejected him. You wanted to marry him. And how could he ever feel afraid of a future with you?

He took great care in polishing his helmet and chest piece, followed by the shoulder pauldrons and the various other pieces. His parents would be proud.

A beeping from the cockpit altering him that the ship was nearing the atmosphere of the destination world got him out of his thoughts. He hurried to put on his armour again, throwing a last glance into the mirror to make sure that he looked alright.

The next time he would look into a mirror, he would be a married man.

Just as he threw himself into the pilot’s chair, the manual controls switched on. It was a smooth entry into the planet’s atmosphere and he was happy to see that there were no clouds anywhere. You would have the perfect view.

“I know this mountain range,” you said from behind him, your hands on his shoulders, “Is this – Is this what I think it is?”

Paz kept his eyes on the ship’s landing sequence, making sure to find the spot he had had in mind. “I might’ve been hoping that you would agree to marry me, mesh’la,” he admitted, “And you liked it so much when we went swimming here … It’s the perfect detour.”

“It really is,” you agreed and he loved to hear the happiness in your voice, “And the weather is wonderful, look at all that sunshine!”

“I might just have to take you swimming again,” Paz chuckled, lowering the ship carefully onto the ground. Only when the ship slightly jolted upon impact and then stood still did he allow himself to turn around and face you.

And thank the stars he had not done so earlier, it felt like his brain was fried.

“You – you look stunning, my love,” he brought out, his voice suddenly sounding so small and unsure when in reality, he had never been surer in his life.

His compliment brought the biggest smile onto your face and his heart was hammering in his chest when you twirled around, showing him how the skirt of your dress moved with you. It was a light blue, the colour of the sky right now, and it did not escape him that you choose blue for your wedding dress. Blue like his armour.

“You look good, too,” you returned, your eyes drifting over his appearance and he sat up straighter, hoping you would take some note of the work he had put into cleaning everything.

Your hand reached out, a finger brushing over his chest plate and Paz pulled you into his lap. Not wanting to go a minute longer without having you close. His hands went to your waist, holding you steady while your finger traced an invisible pattern on the beskar.

“Did you … polish your armour?” you asked, unsure, “It looks so much … more reflecting now, like Din’s.”

“I did,” he confirmed, sounding proud as he watched you handle his armour with such care, “It’s our wedding, after all, I want to look presentable to you.”

“You look _very_ presentable,” you said cheekily, pressing a kiss to his beskar cheek and even though he knew that he could not feel it, he felt his blood rushing to his cheeks.

“Shall we go?” you asked, holding your hand out for him and he took it. With a push on the controls, the ramp lowered to the ground and as you walked down Paz was scanning the surroundings. Just like last time, everything was completely abandoned except for a few birds.

The mountains were stretching up into the sky, the water gently lapping against the little shore. He could hear the rustling of the leaves all around you and your hand found his automatically as you walked to the shoreline together. For a moment you just stood there, taking in the magnificent view that presented itself to you.

“Mandalorian wedding vows just need to be spoken for them to come into effect,” he explained, “I will start and then you repeat after me, okay?”

You nodded turning to face him. There was a slight smile on your face and he saw how your shoulders raised and then dropped with a heavy breath.

“Ready?” he asked, almost breathlessly, his heart hammering in his chest. You nodded, taking both of his hands, letting them hang between your bodies.

“Ready.”

“We are one when together,” he stated, “We are one when apart.”

“We are one when together and we are one when apart.”

“We will share everything.”

You nodded, “We will share everything.”

His thumb brushed over your knuckles, almost done. “We will raise warriors.”

That brought a smile to your face, a look in your eyes as if you two were sharing a secret and somehow Paz felt like you were. “We will raise warriors.”

The words hung between you for what felt like an eternity in which all Paz could think of was that you were now married. You were his wife. He could show himself to you.

He was the happiest Mandalorian in the galaxy, he was sure of it.

“Close your eyes,” he told you, his heart beating faster than the Razor Crest could ever fly, “I would like to kiss my wife.”

You closed your eyes, eagerly tilting your face up and he smiled when he saw how your lips pouted. Gently, he guided your hands to his helmet and, with interlocked fingers, lifted his helmet off his head. It landed with a _thump_ somewhere on the ground beside his feet.

As he blinked against the sudden brightness of the sun, Paz took a deep breath of the fresh air. You still had your eyes closed and his eyes wandered lower, seeing how your chest rose and fell quickly. Maybe you were still afraid of accidentally seeing him? Maybe you were as nervous as he was?

“You can open your eyes now, love … _riduur_.”

Your breath was shaky as your eyes fluttered open and before the nervousness came up, he leant down and kissed you softly. He had always love dhow soft you were under his hands, under his mouth and now in the knowledge that you were his spouse, it made everything better.

*

Pulling away from the kiss and opening your eyes was a revelation. Because there, smiling down at you, was Paz. Your husband. He looked so happy, grinning from ear to ear, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks.

You took him in. The way his polished armour shone in the sunlight, the way his dark eyes returned your loving gaze, how his face moved. For all the time you had known him, you always read his mood in his body language. To now see it plainly written on his face made you feel as if everything you had ever done led to this very moment.

Leaving your home planet? Agreeing to accompany Cara and Din on their mission to protect the child? Agreeing to stay with them even when they had gotten support from Din’s brother in arms? All of it had led you here.

“What do you say,” the man before you smiled, large hands wandering down from your cheeks to your shoulders, “You want to go for a swim, love?”

You laughed watching as his eyes crinkled with his grin as well. The joy on his face could make you cry from happiness.

“We can just go in our underwear, I think,” Paz said, looking up at the sun as if that would tell him the water temperature.

With a cheeky smile, you slipped out of your dress. “Who says I’m wearing any?”

As his head whipped back to you, you made a dash for the water, naked as the days you were born.

“You little -!” Paz shouted with a laugh, starting to take off his armour piece by piece while the water splashed around your ankles as you got further into the water.

Your laughter echoed around the mountains and you let yourself sink into the water, making sure not to stray too far away – your swimming expertise was not the greatest, after all. The water was cool against your skin but not uncomfortably so and from the safety of the lake, you watched as Paz hurried to get out of his clothes.

It was almost comical how he stumbled buck naked into the water. Cursing against the sudden cold but it was not long before he was fully submerged, strong arms and legs carrying him forward as he swam to you. There was a dark look in his eyes, completely the predator, and you giggled, lunging yourself backwards to escape him.

“I don’t think so,” he growled, his arm snapping forward and his hand closing around your wrist, not ungently, “Come back here, you little minx.”

You giggled as he pulled you back against him, your back pressed against his chest and his mouth coming down to your shoulder, kissing a trail up to your jaw. “They say that in some world sirens lurk beneath the waters,” he whispered into your ear, “luring innocent sailors to their deaths with their beauty.”

“Are you saying I’m luring you to your death?” you teased, tilting your head to the side to give him more access.

He was a strong swimmer and you allowed yourself to relax against him, the arm around your waist keeping you upright and above the water.

“I’m saying I would not be surprised if you lured men into the water, looking like this,” he murmured, his hand coming up to squeeze your tit, “You’ve certainly lured me into the water.”

You hummed. “I know that tale, do you know what else they’re saying about sirens?” you turned around, slowly wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, your gaze fixed on his lip, “They say to be kissed by a siren makes a sailor invincible on the sea. He’ll never drown.”

Paz’ tongued darted out to wet his lips and you used your grip on him to pull yourself a little out of the water, closer to him. Your nose nudged his and his eyes fluttered before his dark gaze fixed on you.

“Do you think my siren would grant me a kiss?” his hand not holding your waist came to hold you by the back of your neck, pulling you closer, “You think she’d want me to swim with her forever?“

You did not answer him verbally. You just lowered your face until your lips met his in a slow kiss, the water lapping at your chests. It was slow and quiet, not heated at all as you pulled away, gazing into each other’s eyes. Paz’ mouth quirked up on one side, gifting him this sort of half-smile that made him look younger and more carefree. You traced your fingertip down the bridge of his nose, leaving behind a drop of water on the tip of his nose. “You look so ...”

“Dashing?” Paz provided with a grin, “Handsome? Perfect? Bringing-you-to-your-knees-beautiful?”

You lightly slapped him on the chest, laughing at his jokes and he leant forward, catching your lips in a kiss again. This one was hungrier, his tongue brushing over your bottom lip and your mouth opening to let him in. Your legs wrapped around his hips under the water and you felt him stiffening against your inner thigh, making you moan.

“Remember what you said you wanted to try?” he growled into your ear, pulling you flush against him. You shivered as his teeth nipped at your neck and shook your head, “Remind me.”

“Said you wanted to know what it is like to be fucked in a lake,” he murmured, his hands wandered to your ass, “It just so happens … we’re in a lake, mesh’la.”

You hummed, lightly pulling his bottom lip between your teeth. He pulled away from you, your lips greedily chasing his.

Paz chuckled, “It gets a bit shallower over there, love, don’t want to risk you drowning.”

“Well, I had a wonderful swimming teacher,” you quipped, nonetheless swimming to where he had pointed, “I don’t think he’d let me drown that easily.”

“I don’t think so either,” Paz

“Perfect,” he mumbled as he spotted what seemed to be a natural bench formed by boulders within the water. With smooth movements, he swam to the place he had looked out for your adventure and when he sat down he motioned to his lap with a grin.

Although you did not voice it, you were happy for the little reprieve. Swimming was hard and it exhausted you, the near-constant fear at the back of your mind that if you failed, you could very well drown. (Which, of course, you wouldn’t because Paz was right there but your brain did not care about such trivialities at the moment.)

When you climbed onto his lap, his hands immediately went to your hips, helping you pull you up against him and you gasped as your new positions had the water be only up to your navel. You had not minded being naked in the water, the feeling of being covered still there. But now your nipples pebbled at the sudden temperature drop by the light breeze in the air and you felt exposed with the water dripping down your chin to your shoulders and chest.

You let out a shuddery breath, your forehead falling against his as Paz’ eyes dipped down to your chest. Slowly you wrapped your hand around his shaft, pumping him. You bit your lip as you saw him growing in your hand. You had never really paid attention to it, mots times being too busy to get some friction on your most sensitive parts. But now, with the quiet lapping of the water in the background, you watched fascinated as his chest heaved and you felt him grow harder under your ministrations.

“See what you do to me?” Paz asked, his breath laboured and looking down to where your hand was working him before looking back at you, his dark eyes full of lust, “I swear you just need to look at me some days and I am hard as a rock.”

You barely brought out a smile, your eyebrows knotting in concentration as you sank down on him, gasping at the stretch of him. Paz groaned, the loud sound echoing around the mountains and you flinched as a herd of birds screeched in fright, escaping the tree canopy and flying over your heads.

Out of instinct, you hid your face in the crook of his neck, his hands splaying over your back as he tried to shield you. Only when the birds had passed, did you both pull away from each other with a nervous chuckle.

“Guess we disturbed the neighbours,” Paz joked, his hands dipping below the water, holding your hips, “One of the many risks of being out here in the open.”

You hummed, slowly lifting your hips as you leant forward to kiss him again. Something about the way he had referred to you being out here in the open … completely naked while anyone could walk by, it made you even wetter. The prospect of being seen how desperate you were for him, how good he made you feel … heat rushed to your face and as your lips parted, Paz grinned.

“Is that what you like?” he murmured, “Being taken out in the open when anyone could walk by and see just how needy you are for me?”

“Paz …”

“No, I want to hear you say it,” he cupped your breasts, his eyes hungrily roaming over them as his thumbs brushed over your nipples, “Tell me what you think about that, love.”

“I – I –“ you faltered, crying out when he held you down on him, the water lapping at your skin, hot from embarrassment, “I just want to come, Paz, pl-please let me come.”

“Just imagine it,” he said, his thumb not stopping its movement, “All these cantinas Din always takes us to, I could just … pull you into the back alley and make you fuck yourself on my cock and you would, wouldn’t you?”

You clenched around him.

“Yes,” you gasped out, throwing your head back as you felt his thumb circling your clit, “Yes, I would, I – please I want to come …”

“Good girl,” he rumbled, pressing directly on your clit and you whimpered, “Come for me, love, come all over me. I want to fill you up.”

And he did.

Just as you clamped around him, squeezing your eyes shut and biting your lip to keep from screaming, you felt him stiffen inside of you before he let out a low groan, his head leaning back as his shoulder lost all tension and he painted your walls white.

It took you a moment to come down from your high, your breath slowing down as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling yourself closer to his chest.

“I love you,” you mumbled, pressing lazy kisses against his wet skin, “I love you so much.”

“Cyare,” he sighed, pressing his lips against your temple, “I love you too.”

You closed your eyes, enjoying his warmth and the closeness. The sun was high in the sky, making your feel warm and comfortable even as you were sitting naked in the water. Your nose brushed against his throat and you smiled as you felt his stubble against your skin.

His heart was beating in his chest and it was the most magnificent thing to feel it against yours. Wrapped around each other, it felt as if no time was passing at all, as if you two were in your bubble outside of time and space.

“Not yet,” he whined, pulling you to him again, “Want to stay like this with you.” _Forever_.

“Me too,” you whispered, “But I’m cold and my fingers are getting pruned.” As if to prove your point you held up your fingers to his face, your fingertips already showing the wavy indentions that came from being submerged in water for too long.

Paz kissed all of five of them before shifting you carefully off his lap.

Both of you winced as he slipped out of you and with some surprise you noticed that he had been inside of you this whole time still. Now though you felt strangely empty and you shuddered as you both separated to start swimming back.

The only thing that kept you swimming to the shore – rhythmically moving your arms and legs just as Paz had taught you – was the thought of curling up into him as soon as you were back on land.

And Paz, too, seemed to want nothing more than to be out of the water. You noticed that whereas before he always took great care to swim behind you, now he was almost struggling to slow himself down enough to be right next to you.

Your arms were aching by the time your toes touched the sandy ground and you were more than happy to finally be out of the water. With jittery legs, you made your way to where you had dropped your clothes. No matter how warm it might have been, getting out of the water made you feel cold and exposed and you felt you looked more like a drowned loth cat than the siren Paz had compared you to earlier.

The crunching of the sand and stones behind you told you that Paz had gotten out of the water as well and you laughed as he shook his head free of any residing water droplets, although not with much success. You took a step away from him, not wanting to be met with any of the droplets.

You looked around you trying to find something to dry yourself with but Paz seemed to have thought of a much more comfortable solution. You watched as he spread out his cape as a makeshift blanket on the sand, letting himself fall down on it before patting the spot right next to him.

“Will you join me, riduur?”

You nodded with a smile, walking over to the place where you had said your vows just earlier that day. As your knees met the ground, Paz took hold of your hands, guiding you to lie down with him until he was lying on his back and you were resting on his naked chest. The sunshine was warm on your bodies, slowly drying you the longer you laid there.

From somewhere further off, you heard the birds chirp but other than that it was peacefully quiet and you took the time to just relish in it.

His body was still dripping wet, as was yours, but he looked so handsome to you with the sunshine reflecting on the little drops of his skin. With your head settled on his bicep, your fingertip followed the imaginary pattern between the drops on his skin, brushing over the scars on his skin.

Just like the first time, the prominent scar on his chest caught your eye, now being able to see it in broad daylight. It looked even worse than it had the day you patched him up and your heart clenched at the thought of how painful it must have been for him.

“I got it in my first battle,” Paz said quietly, noticing how your touch lingered on it, “I was just a freshly appointed warrior and the covert was attacked and I was so – so sure of myself …” he trailed off, “They dropped a bomb and the shrapnel, it – it was just barely caught by my armour. Pure luck,” he almost spat, “I was so disappointed in myself. So blinded by my pride, so … so _stupid_ ,” he sighed, “Three days later I woke up in the healing rooms in a different covert and I could barely lift my arm for weeks. It took me months to retrain my strengths and get back out there.”

The frustration in his voice – the bare pain – made you swallow harshly as you turned your head to look up at him. You did not know what to say. Did not know if you would be able to take the hurt away from him.

“I am sorry,” you whispered, kissing the healed skin, before looking up at him again, “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you survived it and I am glad that you’re here with me. Will – will you tell me more about the other ones?”

Paz hummed, tapping his chin where a thin, short line was visible just through his stubble, “This is a happier memory,” he shared with a smile, “I was playing a prank with Din. We were in our final year of training and we decided to, uh, throw colour powder at the tutors of a younger class,” he laughed, “Safe to say they chased after us and I tripped and fell on my face. It was the funniest thing according to Din and he had to laugh so hard they caught up to him too.”

It was not hard to imagine a younger version of him and Din chasing through the covert, their laughter sounding through the walls. Seeing them playing pranks on others? As serious as they were now you could still not completely deny the possibility of something like that happening again when they would be together in the covert.

(Maybe you would convince them to play a prank on Jaspar?)

“And this one?” you pointed to a smaller scar on his shoulder, lightly brushing over it.

“Got it when I was proving myself as a warrior,” he told you, pride swinging in his voice, “At the end of your training you participate in a fight that the elder match for you. You don’t have to win, but you have to hold your own and if the council is satisfied with your abilities, you get chosen to be a warrior.”

“I get it that you won?” you asked with a smile.

“Oh no,” Paz shook his head, “I lost – horribly at that. Got nicked with a vibroblade,” he motioned to the scar, “But I held my own and The Armourer assigned me to be a warrior almost immediately. I thought I could never happier.”

“And then?” you asked, the tone of his voice making you fear a sad turn of the story. 

“Then I met you,” Paz replied, a smile on his lips, leaning down to kiss you softly, “And I had to eat my words. But I don’t mind that. Not one bit,” he murmured against you.

Your hand found its way to the back of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair and when he laid back down again, you followed, settling completely on top of him, pressing kisses all over his face until his smile morphed into a grin morphed into laughter.

*

You were dozing off on his chest when you felt his movements take another direction. Slowly, his fingers drifted over your middle to your hips, to the bump on your left one, to be exact. You shuddered when he directly touched the implant under your skin.

“Is, um, is it one of the long-lasting ones?” he asked quietly.

You turned your head to rest your chin on his chest, looking at him. He had one arm under his head, pillowing him from the hard ground. His eyes were looking up at the sky, seemingly not noticing you but you knew he was watching your every move. The way his chest was slightly puffed up, how exaggeratedly relaxed his fingers were ... he was nervous.

“Five years,” you answered, “But I already had it for four and then some. I might need to get a check-up in a few weeks, just to see if everything’s alright and get a new one if necessary.”

Paz hummed, a smile tugging at his lips and it was the same for you. Your words hung between you. If necessary.

Both of you were thinking about the opportunity it presented but did not speak it aloud. With Paz warm hand on your middle, you finally dozed off, thinking about what a great father he would be when the time came. You had seen him with Grogu and with the foundlings, how they adored their Mr. Vizsla and how much value he took in them being safe and cared for.

Your imagination did not have to stretch far to imagine him with a small bundle in his arms, rocking your child to sleep. It made you feel warm all over. Maybe you would even return to the covert for some time? Just to rest from all the travelling while getting used to life with a little one? You smiled.

Paz would surely like that, if just to take his revenge on Jaspar. You could spend your days with the little ones, telling stories and playing and teaching them things and visiting their dad at work. You could at home, as a family and visit Uncle Din and Baby ever day you wanted to.

Life would be good.

“What are you thinking of, my love?“ Paz asked you, his hands wandering to your back.

“Just thinking about – well, when we have a family, do you think we would make back to the covert?” you asked, carefully glancing up at him through your lashes, “It – it might be safer and we could build a home and –“

“Yes.”

The word was quiet but determined and you saw the genuine happiness in his eyes when he continued, “I – we could extend our rooms, could add a nursery and – and a true living space for us and the little ones and,” his voice almost broke, “Mesh’la, if you truly want that, I’d be the happiest man on earth.”

“I do,” you said, supporting yourself on your elbows above him, “It’s … nice to know we have the same idea about the future, I think.”

“Very nice,” he agreed, slowly sitting up until his lips met yours, even then continuing and arranging you until you straddled his lap. His skin was dry and warmed by the sun and you dropped your mouth to his shoulder, just brushing your lips over his skin.

The sun was already making its descent, the surface of the lake rippling with golds and reds from the sunset and you watched as the stars already threatened to make an appearance.

“We will need to leave soon,” Paz commented and you hummed, your lips brushing up his jaw to his chin, finally pecking his lips.

“I can’t wait to see them again,” you grinned, standing up and going to where you had dropped your wedding dress, “Do you think it’ll be long before we reach Tatooine?”

You slipped on your dress turning to find Paz smiling at you, already dressed in his shoes and pants, his armour pieces gathered in his arm. “A day, tops,” he predicted, “It won’t be long before we will see them. Are you ready?” he asked, nodding to the open ramp of the ship.

You took one last look at the lake and nodded. “Always.”

*

Your eyes fluttered open as the ship beneath you rumbled. You were familiar enough with flying now to recognize it as the ship preparing to land. But when you opened the fully, the atmosphere that greeted you looked nothing like Tatooine.

“What’s going on?” you mumbled, wrapping your scarf-turned-blanket tighter around you. As soon as Paz had

“Need to fill up on fuel,” Paz grumbled, clearly displeased with himself, “I thought we’d make it to Tomax like this but apparently not.”

He reached for his helmet, now positioned on the dashboard. Now that you were married, he kept the helmet off when you were alone and since you were the only ones on the ship it meant that you got to see his face when you fell asleep and when you woke up. A luxury you had not yet gotten used to.

“There’s a cantina just over there,” you said, pointing to the building, “How about I get us something to go while you do the stuff here?”

“Sounds good, mesh’la,” he nodded, visor scanning for some of the spaceport worker, “I’ll meet you back here in ten?”

You nodded, already making you way towards the cantina. The spaceport was full of people and more than once you had to sidestep someone or else they would have run into you. Your nose scrunched up at a penetrating smell when one of the spaceport workers passed you.

The cantina was – quite contrary to the spaceport – almost empty. Only a few patrons were sitting at some of the tables. The bar was situated in the middle of the room and you were happy to see that they had some deliciously sounding lunch on offer.

“One number 13b and a 9c to go, please,” you ordered at the bar, the barkeeper only humming noncommittally before turning to prepare your food.

It was a bit of a wait but you did not mind, occasionally shifting your weight forwards and backwards while looking around the cantina. The ceiling had some intricate designs carved into it, a nice way to pass the time while you waited.

When the barkeep finally came back, your lunches in hand, you paid him before turning around, wanting to rush back to Paz. You were already late as it was.

But instead of being faced with the light of the entrance, you almost ran into another waiting guest. Your nose scrunched up, recognizing him as the spaceport worker that had passed you just outside the cantina. He was leering down at you and you swallowed back your fear, glancing to the entrance behind him.

“How much?”

“Oh, it was just five credits,” you replied, motioning to the signs behind the bar. You made a step to the side, wanting to leave but he followed your movements – effectively blocking your path. You froze.

“Not the food,” the man scoffed, “For _you_.”

“For me?” you echoed, feeling small and panicked, “W-what – I am _not_ on sale. Let me through”

Fear gripped your heart. The barkeeper was gone somewhere or maybe he just ignored your situation, you were not sure. You cursed yourself for not taking your blaster with you. Damn it, the one time you were leaving the ship without Paz and you forgot to take your weapon with you? Paz would be so disappointed.

“C’mon, I’ll pay you well,” the man said, touching your shoulder and you flinched away, his hand falling in the space between you. His eyebrows furrowed in a displeased frown and you held the lunch boxes in front of your chest, trying to create a barrier between you.

He opened his mouth again and you did not even need to hear him to know it would be something mean, something threatening, something that would make your blood freeze in your veins.

You needed to get out of here.

Presented with a chance – the only chance, for all you knew – you just barrelled through him, hurrying towards the entrance trying not to look back at his angry shout. Of course, though, your desire to make sure he was not following you won and just as you turned your head, you ran into an all too familiar chest.

“Slow down, love, what’s going on?”

You could have cried from relief, “Paz!”

Heavy hands settled on your shoulders and you saw how Paz’ visor wandered from your fear struck face to the angry man behind you.

“are you alright?” he rumbled, pulling you closer, “Tell me you’re alright.”

“Yes,” you nodded against his chest, “Just – please let’s get out of here, okay?”

“Where do you think you’re going with her, Mando?” the man shouted, turning a few heads of the remaining patrons who had so far ignored your situation, “I paid for her time already!”

You swore you could hear Paz’ teeth crunch as he turned around, completely stiff. “What did you say?”

Not realizing his mistake, the man continued, “I said I already paid for her time. Wait for your turn, if there’s anything left of her when I’m done, that is,” he laughed, throwing his head back and you shrunk behind Paz.

“Can we please just go now?” you whispered, “I want to go home.”

“Not yet,” Paz growled, lunging three steps forward and grabbing the man by the collar. Your breath caught in your throat, eyes going wide as you watched your husband pummel the man into the bar.

“If you ever touch her, speak to her, even so much as _look_ at her ever again,” he hissed, “I will kill you. Understood?”

The man whimpered under the pressure and Paz shook him, the cups and plates clattering on the surface, “Understood?”

“Yes! Yes, just let me go, please …” the man pleaded, his fingers closing over Paz’ hands to try and pry them off his throat. He looked pathetic, you thought with a little bit of satisfaction.

Paz huffed, not letting go of the man. In a giant swoop, he had wiped him over the bar, all kinds of dishes falling to the ground before the man himself followed with a quiet whine.

The cantina silently stared at him – yourself included.

Paz’ chest was heaving as he stalked back to you, still completely the predator, and you gasped. You could practically feel his gaze on you and you pressed your thighs together at the simple display of strength.

Why had that turned you on?

“Let’s go,” Paz murmured, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and steering you outside, the lunch boxes still in your arms. Your heart was pumping in your chest, a mixture of adrenaline and fear and excitement and … arousal.

Paz’ big hand on your waist, his quick breaths in your ear, did not help one bit. Especially when, instead of to the ship, he led you into one of the alleyways just off the cantina.

“Paz …”

He did not say anything, just led you further into the alley – a dead end, you saw – behind some crates. Without a word, he took the boxes in your hand and put them on top of the crates before facing you.

It did not escape your notice that you were trapped by the wall in the back, the cates on your left and Paz in the front, completely enveloped on all sides. Nobody could see you and yet you heard the bustle of the street just a few steps further.

He took another step forwards, crowding into you and you bit your lip, your legs shifting.

“Tell me you’re alright,” he asked, his gloved hand gently closing around your throat, just holding you, “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” you whispered, a slight smile on your lips, “I am alright, Paz.”

He hummed, his thumb coming up to your lower lip, “Good.”

“Turn around,” he instructed quietly, “Bend over. Want to see your ass

You felt your blood rushing to your face, embarrassed at how turned on you were ta the prospect of what was to come (or rather, who). But as you turned around, your back brushing against Paz’ beskar, his bulge already pressing against you, your eyes met the dirty wall of the cantina and suddenly you wanted nothing more than to not touch the wall.

Reading your thought, Paz moved behind you. “Here,” he said, pressing his gloves into your hands, “Is that okay?”

You nodded, slipping on the too big gloves. The leather was soft against your skin and still warm but it meant that when you finally pressed them to the well, bending over in front of him, it was Paz’ bare skin that touched you as he flipped up your skirt.

You heard him sharply inhale, probably already spotting the wetness on your underwear.

“Mesh’la,” he murmured, his hands cupping your behind, squeezing sharply, “Don’t worry, I’ll buy you new ones.”

Before you could ask him what he meant, his hands had taken hold of the sides of your panties, literally ripping them from your body. The cold air that met your skin made you shudder and you could feel a new wave of wetness rushing through your core.

On the plaza, someone was shouting out the prices for fuel.

“Look at you, so wet already,” Paz murmured, his fingers softly trailing down to your folds, gently probing them.

“All for you,” you gasped out, pushing back against his fingers, any shame forgotten, “Pl-please fuck me. Need you so bad, you were – kriff, you looked so strong …”

“Knew you were thinking about it,” he chuckled into your ear, fingers fumbling with his belt, “You kept squirming as if I was already fingering you … maybe I should’ve.”

“Pa-!”

Your cheeks were flaming hot with embarrassment – he was not wrong though, your brain provided – but even as you wanted to scold him, he shoved his fingers into your open mouth. Four thick digits that kept you quiet and you could not help but suck on them lightly, getting the taste of him in your mouth.

“I need you to be quiet when I fuck you in public, love,” Paz gently reminded you, pushing his cock against your ass, “We don’t want anyone to hear how good I’m making you feel, do we?”

Obediently, you shook your head, taking the chance to wriggle your ass against him as well. He was already hard and leaking and so hot against you, it made you ache. Why couldn’t he fill you already? Why was he taking so long? You just wanted him!

Your tongue swirled around his fingertips, just like it would around his cock and you heard him groan behind you, his fingers reaching deeper into your throat. They muffled any sound you made and so you felt safe enough to genuinely moan when you felt his cock line up with your entrance.

Unable to wait any longer, you tried to wriggle closer to him, to get some more friction, some sort of stretch that would fill the emptiness in you.

“All in good time,” Paz soothed you, rubbing the head around your wet folds, “I will fuck you soon enough, mesh’la, no whining.”

And then he pushed inside you.

The moan that escaped you was embarrassingly loud around his fingers and you could feel some drool escaping your lips, your ears heating up. He was so _big_. The slow push of him stretched you to your limits, your body working its hardest to adapt to him quickly and even then, you felt like your breath had been punched out of your lungs.

“There we go,” he praised you, “Taking all of my cock, mesh’la, good girl.”

You hummed, pushing back against him and moaning again.

“Does it turn you on?” he asked teasingly, “Just a few steps away everyone would see how you let me fuck you out in the open and I don’t even think you’d mind. You’re just that needy, aren’t you?”

You whined, pushing back but he pulled away from you after just three thrusts, leaving you empty and cold and clenching. Even his fingers left you, smearing spit all over your chin and your body screamed for him.

“P-Paz please,” you begged, “Please I want …”

“Want what?” he teased you, standing so close behind you, you could feel the cold of his armour, “Use your words, mesh’la, what do you want, hm?”

“Want you to come inside me,” you gasped out, “Please I want – want you to fill me up and fuck me and – and I want you to fuck me, Paz, please fuck me. D-don’t care who hears it, just want your cock …”

Paz chuckled behind you, slowly pushing back inside you and you moaned. Without his fingers filling your mouth the sound was jarringly loud in the alleyway and you tried to cut yourself off.

“Seems like I’ve got to keep this mouth stuffed, hm?” he murmured, “Much like your cunt, mesh’la.”

His other hand wound its way around your waist before drifting between your legs. “Stars, you’re just so _wet_ , love,” he cursed, his thumb finding its way to your clit, circling the bundle of nerves teasingly, “You really are my little slut, aren’t you?”

By now you were sure you were gushing around his cock, your eyes rolling back in your head as your body locked up around him. “Yes,” you hissed around his fingers, relishing in the stretch of him, “J-just yours. C-can you please, I –“

“What?” he asked breathlessly, thrusting into you, “What do you want?”

“Come inside me,” you gasped out, “please!”

“Yes,” he gasped, his voice raspy through the vocoder, “Gonna – gonna come inside you, fill you up with my come u-until you’re swollen with my child.”

As soon as the images filled your head, you came around him, gasping and clamping, your fingers scratching against the wall for purchase.

Paz was groaning behind you, his thrusts speeding up before he buried himself so deep you felt like you could feel him in your throat. He stilled, his cock twitching inside of you as he filled you with his cum and you let your head fall forward, your body still heaving from your orgasm.

You stood like this for a while, Paz softening inside you, his hands still in your mouth and between your legs respectively, not moving but simply holding you to him. He was so close you could feel his breath on your shoulder, sending goosebumps down your back.

A small crash on the plaza pulled you out of your thoughts, trying to stand up. You were still in public. There were still only crates keeping you from being seen by everyone who let their gaze wander into the inauspicious alleyway.

Paz seemed to share your thoughts and pulled out of you, both wincing at the separation. “Good girl,” he praised you quietly, holding you steady as you tried to find your balance, “You okay?”

“I am so sorry,” you brought out, turning to face him, your skirt falling over your hips again, “I am sorry, I forgot my blaster and then he was there and I – I didn’t know how –“

“Are you hurt?” he cut through your rambling, “Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head.

Paz sighed, his forehead falling against yours, “You did the right thing, mesh’la. You got out of the situation and you _ran_. I am proud of you.”

“I should have brought my blaster with me,” you cursed, nonetheless closing your eyes and leaning against Paz.

“There is no reason to apologize, cyare,” he soothed you, his hand slowly rubbing your back, “You could not have known and I should have remembered, too. I am sorry I did not come sooner,” he sighed, “Let’s go back to the ship, hm? I can kiss you and – and hold you without this helmet on.”

“Please tell me we don’t have to walk too long,” you mumbled, leaning against your husband, “I swear I don’t know if my legs can carry me anymore.”

Paz chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist as he slowly guided you back to the busy street, “No worries, mesh’la, just a few minutes and you can curl up in your chair.”

It was only when you felt a suspicious wetness drip down your thigh that you noticed that you had left your ripped underwear back in the alley.

Well, that just served as an excuse to buy a new one, didn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello over on tumblr! @maybege


	13. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited with your family, you and Paz start to think about having your own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: explicit sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink, slight cockwarming, dirty talk, fluffy fluff fluff
> 
> This is it, folks. The last part. 
> 
> This story has brought me so much joy and was my introduction into the Paz Pit which I have not left since. Thank you to everyone who has supported this story. It really means the world to me. Saying goodbye to a story is hard and I do feel strangely empty now, especially since this has been my project through the second wave. But I am also very proud and very happy because it feels like Mesh’la and Paz’ journey is complete. I would love to hear your thoughts on this final chapter and I hope you enjoy it!

“Paz, if you continue like this, I won’t have any underwear to wear by next week,” you scolded him, picking up your lacy pair of panties that had not withstood Paz hurried hands and had instead simply been ripped in half.

“You won’t hear any complaints about it from me,” the man in question answered, a mischievous grin on his face that made you roll your eyes even if you were grinning just like him.

Paz was laying on your bunk, his arms crossed behind his head as he watched you. It was the beginning of a new day and he had woken you up with his mouth between your legs, holding your thighs open as he licked and sucked on your clit until you were sure your voice was hoarse.

The blanket barely covered his body and, faced with your ripped underwear dilemma, you debated whether to return to bed to him or continue getting dressed just to tease him a little more.

With the way his eyes roamed over your naked body, you decided on the latter, going in search for some underwear that was still wearable.

“Where are you going, cyare?” he called, pleading, “Won’t you join me?”

“We will land soon,” you reminded him, fishing a fresh set of clothes out of the crate in the corner, “And I want to look good for when we see them again.”

“You could wear one of those shirts you like so much,” Paz suggested, “The little one likes the patterns on the sleeves.”

Surprised you turned around to face him.

“What?” he asked, seeing how your eyebrows were raised in surprise, “I noticed you, mesh’la, even before I got the courage to speak to you. The little one likes to trace the patterns, doesn’t he? I’ve seen you rock him to sleep like that before. I am sure he will be happy to have his favourite babysitter back …”

It felt like your heart had grown in size as you watched him, just casually looking at you, obviously not knowing why you had gotten so emotional. He had taken notice of you before. _Detailed_ notice. And not about you but about the little one as well.

“Mesh’la, are you alr –“

With three long steps, you were on the bed again, letting yourself fall against him and pressing your lips against his, your panties still around your ankle.

Paz hummed, his hands immediately wandering to your waist, reciprocating the kiss. His body was still warm from the bed and you shivered at the temperature difference, your chest aching to be pressed against his warm skin.

“I love you,” you whispered against his mouth, throwing your legs over his hips, your underwear flying away somewhere, and he was quick to sit up, pulling you further against him, “I love you so much, Paz.”

“And I love you, cyare,” he whispered, his lips drifting to your neck. Your eyes closed as you bared your neck for him, enjoying the way his warm hands glided over your skin.

But just as he started to nip at a specific spot, soothing the mark with his tongue, the alarm sounded from the cockpit and you whined. Paz sighed, frustration clear as he helped you off him. “Looks like we will need to say goodbye sooner rather than later.”

You smiled sadly.

*

“Do you have everything?”

You nodded, throwing a last look into your backpack before closing it, “I think so.”

Paz had landed the ship a few minutes ago and you could already feel the heat of the sand planet seeping into the hull.

It was one last tour through every room, making sure that you had everything you needed with you and that nothing important was left behind. Once you were on the Crest, it would be almost impossible to get back. You knew Din did not like to visit one place too often.

You had watched as Paz, his helmet still on the nightstand, rolled up the dark blue bedding on the bunk and something in your heart hurt at the sight of the bed that had become so familiar without its signal colour.

He snapped the fabric to the top of his bag, securing everything in place before raising his face and looking at you. There was an unspoken pain in his eyes that you only knew too well.

“I will need to put the helmet on,” he said, nodding to the object, beskar gleaming in the dim lights, “I – Can I kiss you again, love?”

Without a word, you stepped closer, only stopping when you could feel the coldness of his beskar armour against your chest. Slowly, he lowered his face until his lips brushed against yours and you smiled, pressing closer.

It was the kind of kiss that made your toes curl and your knees buckle. Not necessarily from the passion but from the pure emotion that was poured into it.

Paz’ hand held you by the back of your neck, keeping your close to him while your hands tried to find purchase in his cowl.

When he pulled away, you followed him – _chased_ his lips – with a whine, watching through half-lidded eyes as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Tonight,” he promised, pulling the helmet off his head, “Tonight we can kiss again, cyare.”

“I can’t wait,” you whispered, lifting his gloved hand to your lips and pecking his knuckles, “Do you think they are here yet?”

Paz shook his head, letting go of your hands and putting on his backpack, “I would’ve seen him by now. We’re the first ones. Ready?”

You nodded, following him as you walked towards the ramp. Paz punched in the code in his vambrace and with a creak, the ramp lowered.

Immediately, sand flew in your face and you grimaced, wrapping your scarf in front of your mouth and hooking your arm through Paz’ as he guided you down. The wind, caused by the ramp being lowered, died down soon enough and when the creaking started again, you could only turn around to see the ship closing for the last time in presumably a long time.

“We will return somdeday,” Paz promised next to you, “It is only a matter of time before Din will have enough of us.”

“You really think that?”

“Stars, no,” he laughed, squeezing your hand, “But he would let us leave if we wanted to … if you wanted to. Wherever you go, I go, mesh’la, that’s the deal now.”

You liked the sound of that. Always being with him.

As you walked the short stretch to the house, you could already spot someone familiar working on one of the walls. You smiled as you spotted Tomax, his baby in his arms as he seemed to make sure none of the walls had cracked from the dry heat.

“Tomax!” Paz bellowed, one hand raised in a wave.

“Well, look who it is!” he shouted, the baby babbling in his arms, “We did not expect you for another few hours.”

“You did not expect _Din_ for another few hours,” Paz corrected him with a teasing undertone in his voice and you smiled. Now that you were closer to seeing them again, you could sense Paz’ mischievous brotherly love making an appearance again. How excited he must be … and how horibble he was at hiding it.

“True,” Tomax grinned, slapping him on the shoulder, “Come on inside, friend. And it’s good to see you again, mesh’la.” He winked at you, a friendly wink, not a flirty one and you smiled, feeling already comfortable back with Paz’ friends.

You made sure to keep the dark blue bedding to your chest, not wanting to get any sand on it, as you descended the stairs into the living rooms.

“Look who’s here!” Tomax announced your presence and you were immediately greeted by a smiling Kea who hugged you and Dreks who just nodded at you (thank the stars).

“How have you been doing?” Kea asked you, taking the bags from you and setting them down by the door, “I have to admit, I was worried when we did not hear from you in so long …”

“The supplies reached where they’re supposed to be?” Tomax asked Paz who nodded.

“Took a few days off in the middle,” Paz explained and you could feel his gaze on you, “A … vacation of sorts.”

“Leave it to Paz Vizsla to take a vacation during a mission,” Dreks scoffed.

“He kept me safe,” you blurted out before you knew better, already feeling heat rise to your cheeks as all eyes turned to you, “I mean he … he would’ve done anything to keep me safe. The vacation was just a nice bonus.”

“Yes,” Paz nodded, “I would’ve.”

You did not see the knowing look Tomax and Kea exchanged.

A babble sounded from the baby and Kea grinned. “There is someone who is especially happy about your return,” she announced, letting Tomax deposit the kid in her arms before walking towards you, little chubby arms reaching out for you.

“Hello again,” you greeted her, “You probably don’t remember me but we met before.”

The baby gurgled and you smiled, “Can I hold her?”

“Of course! And no worries, Deena here has just eaten,” Kea told you with a wink, “Here you go, little one.”

The weight of the baby was a comfort to you and you smiled, sitting down on the bench at the table and shifting her closer onto your lap. Big eyes looked up at you, seeming especially fascinated with your fingers and you wriggled them before her face, giggling as she went to grab them.

“She’ll be a strong one,” Paz said, his bulky frame sitting down next to you, his thigh touching yours. Beneath the table, his hand landed on your knee, his thumb brushing over your leg and you smiled.

It was like whatever was between you was your own little secret and it was … fun.

“Oh, she will be,” Tomax agreed, settling down on the other side of the table. He eyed you both suspiciously, “She learned how to crawl the other day,” he chuckled, “We can hardly keep track of her these days.”

The baby in your arm gurgled again, grabbing onto your finger before releasing it again, obviously wanting to play chase. You obliged with a smile.

“So, you’ve been travelling for a few weeks, huh?” Dreks asked, leaning forward and eyeing you intensely.

You swallowed harshly. You had not forgotten the comments he had made the last time you had been here. And certainly not how he had barged into the fresher when you had been barely dressed Paz’ hands on your chest …

“Quite a few, yes,” you replied tensely, forcing yourself to smile. Paz’ hand on your knee tightened.

Dreks hummed, a small smile on his face as he tilted his head, his eyes wandering down to your cleavage, “And, tell me, did Paz fuc–“

“Will you let me hold her, _riduur_?” Paz interjected loudly, sending a glare to Tomax’ brother.

You could feel the air being sucked out of the room and nodded, carefully handing him the baby.

Dreks looked suspiciously pale and you secretly enjoyed the way he was so scared. _Serves him right_ , you thought, _not knowing when to shut up …_

Paz cradled Deena in one arm against his chest, the baby happy to stare at his blue beskar in wonder, while his other arm wrapped around your shoulder.

“Riduur, huh?” Tomax started, grinning from ear to ear, “I _knew_ something was going on! Just friends my ass, ha!”

Kea laughed, “He’s been bothering me for weeks with it,” she revealed, setting down some refreshments before settling on her husband’s lap, “He was so sure the notorious Paz Vizsla had found a wife.”

“And he has,” Paz grunted, “Now, can we go back to normal please?”

You smiled at him, reaching over to wriggle your fingers above Deena’s face again. She giggled, grabbing your fingers gentle before letting them go again.

“You’re good with her, mesh’la, Paz murmured.

“What? Thinking of our own children?” you teased him, heat rising to your cheeks because you could not deny that seeing Paz with this little bundle of joy _did_ things to you. A lot of things.

“I asked him about you the first time you were here,” Tomax said, smiling benevolent, “Will you at least tell us when your big day was?”

“Last week,” Paz answered and even with his helmet on you could tell he was grinning from ear to ear. Probably because you were too.

“How romantic,” Kea sighed dreamily, “Did you get married in the covert?”

Both of you laughed, a snort escaping you at the thought of marrying in the covert.

Would the council even have approved of it unless Paz had fought for it again? You could not imagine having the happiest day of your life with the people in attendance who had denied your place next to the man you were marrying. Not even after they had apologized.

“Not the best of experiences, huh?” Tomax joked and Kea looked at you knowingly, “Was it Kriel?”

“And Jaspar,” you added before relenting, “It is all resolved now, though, but …” you shook your head, “I don’t think either one of us could have imagined marrying there, right, Paz?”

Your husband nodded, his visor now fixed on the little girl in his arms. She had taken hold of his hand, fascinated by the texture of his gloves against her fingers and you watched fondly as he took off one glove, letting her play with it.

He would be the best father …

A bell sound rang through the rooms and you felt Paz stiffen beside you, obviously looking out for any sign of danger. But Tomax and Kea seemed perfectly relaxed as Tomax got up to the panel beside the stairs.

“It seems your friends are here already,” he announced, a buzzing sound coming from the top, followed by heavy footsteps.

Kea had the foresight to take Deena from Paz’ arms, both of you standing up to, after months of travels, see your friends again.

No words in your language nor any other, you doubted, could describe the joy you felt at seeing your friends – your family – again.

It was as if it started in your chest, the excitement, the happiness spreading throughout your body until the tip of your toes tingled and your cheeks hurt from smiling. Your heart was beating so loudly in your chest, a kind of nervousness accompanying your anticipation because what if they had not missed you as much as you had missed them? What if they were not as happy as you were?

You saw Cara first, her boots coming into view from the stairs, then her legs until her entire body was there and you could see the grin on her face. She had not changed one bit. Her arms were just as muscular although you were sure that there was another tattoo that had joined the others.

She was followed by Din, his armour gleaming even in the low light that came in from the skylights.

And in his arms, he held the little one. His big eyes looked around curiously, mouth _awing_ as he spotted the high ceilings and the way the light illuminated the thousands of dust and sand particles that flew around. You saw him stretch out his little hand, wanting to catch one of the gold flecks and his ears falling as it disappeared just as it passed into the shadows.

“Ner vod,” Din said, his visor falling on Paz and that was when the baby seemed to notice all the eyes staring at him.

He noticed Paz first, the dark blue beskar probably catching his attention through its colour and familiarity. His ears perked up, eyes opening wide as he gurgled, his hand leaving its mission to catch the sand but rather to direct his buir to go to his uncle.

But as soon as he spotted Paz, he also spotted you and you could have cried at the happiness on his little face. “Blah!” he said, ears wriggling from side to side in excitement as he urged his dad to walk quicker, little legs kicking as much as he could, “Blah!”.

You chuckled, tears collecting in your eyes, “Hello, little one.”

That seemed to seal the deal for him. It was as if his little body was vibrating with energy, wriggling from side to side in an attempt to get out of Din’s grip. Din only huffed out a laugh, the sound scratchy from his modulator, and set his son down on the sandy ground.

And the child was _off_.

You had never quite seen him walk so fast and for a brief moment, you wondered if maybe that was something he had learned in your absence, something you had missed while away with Paz. But then he hugged himself to your leg, soft ears brushing against your calf as he looked up at you, a toothy grin on his mouth.

Immediately you leant down and picked him up, hugging him to your chest and pressing kisses all over his little face. “Oh, I have missed you so much,” you laughed, as he nuzzled himself against your cheek, trying to imitate your movements, “Hello, little one, how have you been? Oh, I promise I’m never going to leave you for this long. Have you been good? Did your buir take good care of you? And Aunt Cara, yes?”

“He has talked about your every day,” Cara revealed to you, walking over to hug Paz, “He kept wandering to your bunk every morning in search for you.”

It broke your heart.

The baby cooed in your arms, his little palm falling against your cheek. A feeling of pure unfiltered happiness filled you and you tilted your head, “Is that –“

“Him?” Din asked, “Yes, believe me, we’ve got _quite_ a journey behind us.”

“It’s good to see you again, Djarin,” Paz said next to you, pulling Din into a crushing hug, beskar clashing against beskar and you winced through your smile at the ringing tone in your ears.

The baby rested his head against your shoulder, little hands grabbing onto your blouse as tightly as they could and you rocked him slightly. “Don’t you worry,” you whispered, “We won’t leave you again so quickly.”

“Mesh’la,” Paz appeared in front of you, “Will you let me say hello to my nephew as well? I am sure Cara and Din will be happy to greet you.”

You hummed, carefully transferring the little one into Paz’ arms. The child threw you very suspicious look, clearly unsure whether to be sad about leaving your arms or happy to see his big uncle again. In the end, he decided for the latter, cooing up at the blue helmet and smoothing his little cheek against the cool beskar. You swallowed, your eyes taking in how very small the child looked in Paz’ arms, and how much smaller a newborn might look …

_By the stars, get your act together._

With a smile, you turned to your two friends. Cara was grinning from ear to ear, her eyes darting from Paz to you then to Paz again, much like Tomax’ had the first time he saw you again. You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, not sure why you would be embarrassed about what she was thinking.

But then again, she _had_ known about your infatuation with Paz, him calling you any kind of pet name while in her presence would cause her to look like that probably – even though she did not know what it meant.

Din, on the other hand, knew _exactly_ what it meant.

“I suppose I should not call you mesh’la then,” he stated drily, his head tilted to the side. You knew his jokes when you heard them and this was one of the rare occasions when you saw his shoulders tremble with a suppressed laugh. He was teasing you.

“I suppose not,” you quipped, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth, as you looked over to Paz, “That’s reserved for him.”

“I would hope so,” Paz grumbled, holding the little one high up in the air, little arms and feet wriggling as he laughed.

“Careful, he just ate,” Din warned him while walking up to you and hugging you. Being hugged by Din Djarin was something you always enjoyed. He gave good hugs, strong arms pulling you into his chest, not the kind where you were wondering if it counted as a hug at all.

“I missed you,” he said, “I hope Paz did not give you too much trouble?”

“None at all,” you replied with a smile, “I missed you too.”

“Me too?” Cara asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her grin wide, “Because, let me tell you, _I_ certainly missed my favourite roomie.”

“Oh absolutely,” you laughed, “Come here.”

The next few minutes were filled with laughter and hugs and the little one suspiciously eyeing Tomax and Kea’s baby. His eyes wandered from the gurgling girl in Kea’s arms to Paz and you as if he was analysing the chances that you had replaced him with a new baby.

But Paz would not have it, instead rocking the little on in his arms and rumbling something in Mando’a. A sight that made you weak in the knees.

“So …” Din stated next to you, “mesh’la, huh?”

“Yes,” you smiled, still watching Paz, now balancing each kid on his knee, letting them get to know each other, “Mesh’la.”

*

Saying goodbye to Tomax and Kea and their little family was bittersweet.

You were more than happy with the knowledge that you would never again have to see Dreks for the near future. But admittedly you quite liked Kea and the vibe she gave off. She seemed fun and knowledgeable in the areas when it came to being wed to a Mandalorian as a non-Mandalorian.

You could have used her council.

But as sad as you were to leave them, you were so much happier to be back on familiar territory. Even the darkness of the Crest was something you had missed as you watched the ramp open, sand flying everywhere.

Paz and Din were walking ahead, talking quietly between themselves and you smiled. They were so happy to heave each other back and it brought out a side of Paz’ that you had not even seen back at the covert. Din truly was his brother and vice versa.

The baby was being happily carried in your arms, looking around curiously but quietly, his little fingers slightly digging into your forearm as if making sure you were still there while also ensuring that you could not leave again so easily.

Cara was strolling next to you, having offered to take your bag, a weight you had happily given over to her.

As you entered the cool hull of the Crest, you closed your eyes, the familiar smell of gunpowder, oil and metal filling your nostrils. You were truly back home.

“Do you want me to take your bag to our room?” Cara asked, holding the bag up to you.

You froze.

 _Our room._ Your room. The one you had shared with Cara before you had left on this crazy journey. The one she was expecting you to move into again now that you had returned.

Your mouth gaped open, no words coming out,

“About the rooms,” Paz began, his deep voice filling the silence, “I think there might need to be some … _rearrangements_.”

Cara’s eyebrows shot up and Din’s head tilted to the side, his body frozen in what he had wanted to do as he slowly turned to face you. Your friends mustered you expectantly and you felt your heartbeat speeding up. You were not really sure why you were nervous about them finding out. You loved Paz and you were not ashamed of the marriage you had with him.

To be honest, you were even looking forward to having some sort of privacy again. Privacy in which he could lift his helmet for you. Privacy in which you could indulge in the nocturnal activities that had become a habit for you two.

“Do tell,” Cara said her hands on her hips and an amused smile on her face.

“We are married,” Paz put it bluntly, “We took our vows last week and I would prefer it if mesh’la would sleep with me. In our room.”

It was silent for a moment in which both Din and Cara just continued to stare at you. But you felt Paz’ body behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist as he met their looks, completely unbothered.

“I knew it!”

Cara grinned, turning to Din and holding out her hand. The bounty hunter only shook his head with a sigh, fumbling for his wallet.

Confused, you furrowed your brows. “What do you mean you knew it? _I_ didn’t even know it!”

“Oh please,” she scoffed, a happy twinkle in her eyes, “Don’t think we didn’t notice the night you disappeared into Paz’ room and only appeared the next morning.”

Heat rose to your cheeks and you ducked your head.

“So, you bet against us?” Paz asked his brother.

“Not against you getting together,” Din clarified, throwing a few credits in Cara’s palm, “Just against you being married so soon. Thought it’d take you longer to work up the courage to ask her.”

You smiled, secretly knowing that it had been an accident that had gotten you so far. Din was probably right. Paz would have waited a bit more to propose to you.

Bothered with the – in his eyes – boring conversation, the child squirmed in your arms, reaching down towards the floor.

“You want to play?” you asked him, carefully setting him down and smiling widely as he immediately went for his favourite silver ball.

“His, uh, his name is Grogu,” Din revealed a little awkwardly.

You eyebrows shot up in surprise. You certainly had not expected that. You had so gotten used to the child having no name that his actual name now sounded … strange on your tongue.

“ _Grogu_?” Paz snorted next to you, earning him your elbow in his side as you murmured to not make fun of the baby’s name.

“What?” he asked, “All I’m saying is … his parents could’ve been a bit kinder when it came to the name selection.”

“I think it sounds wonderful,” you defended it, “It is just as unique as him,” you knelt down, facing your nephew, “Grogu?”

He chirped, turning to look at you and his ears perking up. When he met your gaze, he grinned, some other sounds leaving him in excitement. Almost as if he was praising you for knowing his name now.

You laughed, looking up at Paz, “Isn’t he just the cutest?”

He looked down at you, silent, his hand twitching and your laughter faded into a small smile.

You wondered what he was thinking about. If he was thinking about the foundlings back at the covert – the ones that had called him Mr. Vizsla so sweetly and begged for him to stay – if he was missing them. If he was thinking about a day where you two would start your own family, where the parent’s kindness in the naming process turned out to be _your_ kindness.

“Well, next to finding out my nephew’s name, did you run into any trouble?” Paz asked, looking around the hull, breaking eye contact but still making sure you got up alight by offering you’re his hand, “It seems the Crest is fine, at least.”

“Not too much. Some weird man wanted to take him,” Din shrugged, “Talking about wanting to train him.”

“He was a Jedi,” Cara corrected him, “A very popular one at that. A Skywalker.”

“ _The_ Skywalker?” you echoed, your eyes wide as you watched the little one – Grogu – drool all over his favourite toy, “He wanted to train him?”

“Yes, but Grogu did not want to,” Din said, a fondness in his voice that he only had when he spoke of his son, “He chose to stay.”

You all watched Grogu play with the ball, rolling it around and magically rolling it back to him, all the while babbling happily along, almost as if he was talking to himself.

How crazy to think that such a tiny being was the reason all of you had found each other. Had gotten together on this ship and formed this friendship that felt more like family than anything you had ever known.

Paz’ fingers brushed against yours and you smiled, teary-eyed, as you interlaced your fingers.

Now that you were back with your family, everything would be alright.

*

“Hm, this looks much more comfortable with you in it,” Paz grinned as he closed the door behind him.

It had been a long day and you had spent hours talking to Din and Cara, catching up on everything you missed.

Cara had even taken you aside for a hug, telling you how very happy she was that you and Paz had figured things out and that she was sure he would make you very happy. (“But if he doesn’t,” she had added, “Just tell me and I will take care of it.” And you had not doubted the sincerity of her words for even a second.)

Din had initiated the flight sequence and soon the Crest was back up in the stars, your day filled with unpacking everything, playing with Grogu and rocking him to sleep. Because, as toddlers were wont to do, he now refused to let you out of his sight.

If you were not there when he closed his eyes, he simply would not rest, it was that simple.

And so, you had settled down with him on one of the crates, holding him in your arms as his eyes had fluttered closed. It was heartbreaking to see how strongly he tried to stay awake, afraid that if he woke up, you would be gone again.

But you continued to lull him to sleep with your tales of the different planets you had seen. How the skies had sometimes vastly different colour and how the stars shone somewhere even during the bright hours of the day. And soon, his little eyes had closed, his breath puffing against your hand as he held it in a tight grip with his two smaller ones.

“I did not think he would let you go that easily,” Paz had commented as he watched you carefully transfer him into his little pod, “The little one, he – he really missed you.”

“He missed you too, you know?” you had said, fondly looking down at the dozing little creature, “He kept looking out for you. Always wanting to see that blue armour before he would settle down.”

Paz had hummed, his heavy arm draping around your shoulders as he had pressed his forehead against the top of your head. “You will be a great mother one day.”

You had only smiled, leaning against him before you had joined Din and Cara in the cockpit.

And now you were ready to spend your first night in your new home on the Crest.

Well, not exactly new.

A lot of it looked like the first night you had spent here. The room was smaller than the one you had shared with Cara but the bunk was bigger – even if bigger was relative seeing as your bulk of a husband had trouble fitting into any bed.

You had gone into the refresher first, coming back freshly showered and dressed in your favourite nightgown only to find that Paz had already put the dark blue bedding on the bunk.

“Now it’s truly home,” he had announced as you had caught the happiness in his voice before he left to freshen up himself.

You had curled up in the soft blankets immediately, your freezing feet thankful for the covering and your nose buried in the pillows as you closed your eyes and tried to imagine what it had been like when you had knelt in front of this very bunk.

But now he was back and as soon as he latched the door closed, his helmet came off, revealing a grinning Paz underneath, his cheeks dark from the stubble. You smiled, reaching out your hand to touch him. He obliged, leaning down and nuzzling your palm before pressing a kiss there.

“If anyone would have told me before all this that the first night back on the Crest I would come back to find you in my bunk I would have paid them all the wealth in the galaxy to know how I would manage it,” he whispered, his eyes soft as he looked at you, “You truly are a blessing, mesh’la.”

“As are you,” you replied quietly, scooting towards the wall and making space for him, “Won’t you join me, riduur?”

He groaned, his eyes closing, as he unlatched his shoulder pauldrons and set them down on a little table to the side, “Call me that again, mesh’la and you won’t leave this bed for quite a while I can promise you that.”

“Who says I want to leave the bed?” you teased, welcoming him by wrapping your arms around his shoulders, kissing his shoulder blades up to the back of his neck as he sat down on the edge of the bunk to take off his boots.

“I say it,” he replied, his cuirass joining the pile of beskar, “I know the first thing you want to do is play with the little one. And the first thing I want to do is to see it.”

“Am I just imagining or,” your hands trailed over his shoulder to his chest, your chin resting on his shoulder as you watched him take off the pieces on his thighs, “are we in baby fever?”

“Baby fever?” he asked, tilting his head as you kissed his jaw softly.

“It’s when you want to have a baby,” you explained, nipping at his skin, continuing to lavish him in kisses until he hummed, “All you can think about s what it’d be like to have one of you own. To see your partner with one. Because I – I fear I have the baby fever.”

“Then I fear me too,” he answered, his head turning so he could press his lips against yours, “Now let me undress, mesh’la, and we can gush about babies all we want, how does that sound?”

“Heavenly,” you sighed exaggeratedly, letting yourself fall back into the blankets dramatically.

Paz only chuckled, his hands going to his belt and you bit your lip as he pushed his pants down. One of the fun things about expanding your family would certainly be the _making_ of said family.

When he was completely undressed, he turned to you, a wolfish grin on his face as he loomed over you, slowly crawling on to the bunk. “Now,” he growled, “What was that again about babies?”

You giggled as he pulled the blanket from your body, trying to kick him off but he caught your ankle in his hands, spreading your legs and sliding between them.

A stabbing pain shot through your hip suddenly and you hissed, pressing your hand to the source of the pain, hoping somehow that that would stop it. It didn’t.

Alarmed, Paz sat up, “What is it?” he asked, panic lacing his voice as his eyes frantically searched your body for an outward sign of injury, “Cyare, tell me, what’s going on?”

“My implant,” you hissed, sighing in relief as the pain slowly let off, “I think this is the warning that I need to get it looked at again.”

His eyes followed yours, landing on where your hand was still pressed against your skin. You watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “Y-you think it stopped working?”

“Soon,” you said, experimentally lessening the pressure of your hand and, when the pain did not return, letting go of the spot altogether. You let your self fall back into the bunk, Paz’ warm arms already waiting for you. “Din mentioned we will have a fuel stop a few systems over, I am sure they will have a medcenter there as well.”

That answer did not seem to satisfy him and Paz settled next to you, facing you as his large hand slowly drifted over the small bump on your hip. “I don’t want this to hurt you,” he said, a frown on his face, “ _I_ don’t want to hurt you.”

“It doesn’t hurt me,” you tried to calm him, “it was just a warning shot so to speak. I will talk to someone at the medcenter and I am sure we will have it figured out in no time.”

“Hm,” he brought out, carefully pulling you closer. You grinned, amused by how one yelp of pain was enough for him to barely touch you in fear of inflicting pain.

“It is fine,” you assured him, pressing another kiss to his lips, “I am fine. I promise.”

“I hope so,” he whispered, his forehead falling against yours as you drifted off to sleep, “I really hope so.”

*

When you opened your eyes the next time, the clock on his nightstand told you it was barely early morning. Early enough, at least, for you to sleep some more and that was exactly something you planned on doing.

But then your eyes fell to Paz – or rather his chest – beside you. He had cuddled into you in his sleep like he always did, his arms and legs wrapped around you, pushing your face into the crook of his neck and his lips brushing against your temple.

That’s when you had an idea.

First, your lips landed on the sensitive skin of his throat. Then the spot behind his ear, followed by where his jaw met his neck. You kissed every single spot you got to reach before carefully detangling yourself from him so you could reach his lips too. He grumbled, his hand falling to your hip, pulling you closer.

“What are you doing?” he asked, one eye peeking open and his voice still deliciously rough from sleep.

“I am kissing my husband awake,” you murmured, your lips dragging along his throat and he groaned, “I can do that now.”

You could not see the grin on his face until he had rolled you underneath him, his hands pinning yours besides your head as he looked down on you. His eyes wandered appreciatively over your form, lingering where the neckline of your nightgown was gaping open, revealing the soft skin of your breast.

“I’d like to be woken like that every morning,” he said, ducking down to kiss you. You gasped, trying your best to rise up on your elbows to get closer but his grip was unrelenting, forcing you to take what he was giving, nothing more, nothing less.

His tongue darted over your bottom lip before dipping inside your mouth, tangling with yours. “Stars, you are pretty,” he said breathlessly between kisses, “My pretty mesh’la.”

You hummed, looking dreamily up at him.

His gaze turned soft and thoughtful then, clearly off somewhere in his own world and you squeezed your hands around his to get his attention back. “What are you thinking about?” you asked.

“Just … if we have children Din will never shut up to them about how he brought us together.”

You laughed. The way his face was scrunched up in genuine discomfort, the idea of his brother teasing him about it bothering him, made him look absolutely adorable.

“I am sure he will be too busy trying to keep Grogu from cuddling them to death.”

He tilted his head in agreement, “I had not thought about that.”

A chirping from beside your bed made you frown, looking questioningly up at Paz who only shrugged. He leaned over the bed, looking to see what was causing such a ruckus before throwing the blanket over his head.

“What are you doing?” you asked perplexed.

“It’s Grogu,” came his muffled answer and another chirp seemed to agree with him.

“But the door –“ your gaze drifted to the door he had locked last night only to find that it was leaning open. Peculiar.

You leaned over the bed, catching the gaze of a wide-awake Grogu.

“Good morning. little one,” you greeted him, reaching one hand out to stroke one of the ears. He chirped again, grifting you a toothy grin as he raised his arms in an upwards motion.

You laughed, “You want to join us, hm?”

A confirming babble.

Paz stumbled out of bed, the blanket still safely held over his head like a cape as he walked over to the table, putting on his helmet. Grogu turned around to face him, raising his arms towards him as Paz wandered back to the bunk.

“Now come here, little one,” he sighed, scooping him up with just one arm and your heart clenched at the sight, the little foundling immediately cuddling against his naked chest.

Paz held the blanket out to you as he climbed back into bed, leaning against the pillows. You shifted closer to him, resting your head against his shoulder and watching as the little one shakily stood up, feet planted in the middle of his chest.

“Isn’t that too heavy?” you asked him worriedly but Paz only chuckled.

“Light as a feather, mesh’la, don’t you worry.”

The child looked at both of you as if wanting to make sure he had your attention before starting to babble on. And on. And on. And on. His ears twitched occasionally, his hands making motions as if he was deliberately gesturing and as he kept on talking – sending an adorable glare to Paz when he had the audacity to interrupt him to trail one finger along his ear – you realized something.

“Is – is he giving us a lecture?” you whispered into your husband’s ear.

“I think he is,” Paz nodded, “He wants us to know we should never leave him again, isn’t that right, ad’ika?”

Grogu chirped, grinning now that he was happy you understood him.

“Don’t you worry,” you murmured, “We don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon, Grogu.”

*

A few days later, as you entered the ship, Cara already greeting you with a relieved smile.

“Finally!” she exclaimed before quietly adding, “Paz is going crazy over there. He has been taking Grogu for some cuddles and I think his worries rubbed on the little one. You should talk to him.”

You nodded, thanking her fort telling you before quickly walking over to Din to tell him of what you knew.

Today was the day of the fuel stop.

Paz had been brimming with nervousness as the landing came closer and closer, asking you at least a dozen times if he really should not accompany you. You assured him ever single time.

Going to the medcenter was an uneventful procedure, especially when it came to standard issues such as contraception. You knew you had one of the most popular implants, safe and secure and treatable all over the galaxy if there were issues to handle with it.

The droid had scanned the implant and, much like you had suspected, the pain you had experienced a few days ago was a warning signal that it was about to expire. Nothing to worry about, therefore.

With the walk to the centre and a bit of wait time, you had overstayed the time you had estimated at first but you knew that the Crest would wait for your safe return, not bothered by your delay of barely ten minutes.

Or, at least most of them would not be bothered.

“Paz?” you peeked your head into the room. True to Cara’s word, Paz was pacing the length of the small room, little Grogu in his arms who seemed more worried about his uncle than anything else.

He had his back turned to you, seemingly muttering under his breath.

“Paz?” you murmured again, fully stepping into the room. The speed with which Paz whipped around made Grogu squealed in excitement, his little hands dancing in the air as he gurgled for his uncle to do it again. But Paz seemed only to look at you.

“Mesh’la,” he murmured, “How did it go? What did they say? Are – are you okay?”

“I am,” you confirmed with a smile, “I, uh, they couldn’t renew the chip here. They removed it to make sure I would not get any more of the warning pains but they did not have them in stock. We need to wait a few days until we reach Naboo. They have them on stock there.”

“Does Din –“

“Yes,” you answered quickly, “Din already knows. I talked to him before I came here.”

He said nothing, Grogu munching on his own fingers in his uncle’s arms.

“A few days, huh?” he asked into the silence, standing a few feet from you. You did not know why but the tension reminded you of the time before you had confessed your feelings – the unspoken looming over both of you, threatening to collapse any pretence you had built up.

But why did there need to be pretence in the first place?

Paz was your husband, the person you trusted the most in the whole wide galaxy. The one you wanted to have a family with.

So, you suggested what had been in your heart all along, “We – we could just try.”

Paz did not say anything.

“We’re ready, I think,” you mumbled, “We could let fate decide if – if this is the time and when it’s not we still have the rest of our lives to expand our family. I – I could still get the implant on Naboo but we’d have at least one night to try.”

“One night,” he nodded slowly, his helmet tilting to the side, mustering you up and down.

You felt strangely hot – hot and nervous – under his gaze. Almost like the first time. Voicing your idea had taken a lot of courage out of you and to be honest you still did not feel like it was over, this baring of your deepest desires.

Grogu gurgled, both of you finally realising that you were still in the presence of the little one.

“I think it’s time you go to your buir now, ad’ika,” Paz chuckled, carefully setting him down, “This is adult time now.”

You snorted, “Adult time?”

“Yeah,” he growled, stepping closer to you, “Adult time.”

Grogu waddled away, happily chattering to the walls as if they could listen and when he crossed the threshold, Paz hurried over and latched the door.

The atmosphere shifted, something primal filling the air and you swallowed, your throat feeling dry. His back was to you, his broad shoulders, his arms, everything about him seemed suddenly so much more breath taking, so much _bigger_. He was filling the room out, not only his body but his mere presence with you.

Nervousness settled in your gut as he kept facing away from you. No, not nervousness. Anticipation.

It was silent safe for the hiss of his helmet as he lifted it off his head. You swallowed, eyes drifting over his dark hair – your mind immediately projecting images of tiny newborns in your arms, dark tufts of hair on their heads just like their father.

Paz did not look at you as he walked over to the table, setting his helmet down with a quiet clank. His hands had tightened around the helmet and his face was lowered as he seemed to take a few moments to think. His shoulders were rising and falling rapidly and the more time passed the more you felt like the prey to him.

The good kind of prey.

The kind of prey that he would devour wholeheartedly. The prey he would shatter to pieces only to put you together again and again and again …

You squirmed where you stood, your thighs clenching.

His head lifted, dark eyes meeting yours. “Are you sure?” he asked and stepped closer to you His voice sounded like it dropped several octaves and your heart skipped a beat.

You looked at him and nodded, confident in your decision, your eyes already half-lidded as he stopped in front of you. His eyes went to your neckline, seeing how your nipples had pebbled under the thin material.

A low hum left him as he raised his gloved hand, one finger slowly tracing your jaw.

“I want you naked on this bed by the time I’m undressed,” he murmured, his finger drifting down your throat, “Can you do that for me, mesh’la?”

“Yes,” you gasped, “H-How?”

“On all fours,” he replied, his finger pushing your neckline to the side, eyes immediately going for your bared chest, “Face in the pillows, ass in the air,” his hand fell to your hip, “If I am going to breed you, I am going to it right. Understood?”

“Yes,” you breathed, your chest heaving with breaths.

He turned around then, his hands getting to work on taking off each piece of armour.

That’s when the reality kicked in.

You were really going to do this. You were going to try for a baby. You grinned.

You swore you had never undressed so quickly in your life, the fabric falling unceremoniously to the floor. You could pick it up later. Or tomorrow. Tomorrow sounded good.

The comforter was soft on your skin and you hummed as you pressed your cheek into the pillows, widening your knees until you had found a comfortable position. The cold air made you shiver, especially since you were already so wet that it felt like betrayal not to have Paz pressed up against you.

No matter how comfortable your position was, though, now you could not see what Paz was doing or how far along he was in taking the amour off. Although by the clanking of the beskar, one after another, you would say he was just as eager as you.

Then the sounds and your breathing stopped, listening intently to his quiet footsteps as he approached the bed.

“Good girl,” he said, his voice behind you and goosebumps pricked your skin as his fingertips brushed over the globes of your ass.

Without preamble, his mouth met your pussy and you keened, not having expected him to pleasure you like this again. Overwhelmed by the stimulation, you rocked forward trying to escape his face but his hands gripped the flesh of your ass, pulling you tight against him as his tongue flicked your clit, his teeth grazing your entrance.

“C’mon,” he said against you, his voice sending vibrations to your core, “I know how hard you can come from this. Want you wet and ready for when I put a baby into you.”

The edges of your vision got blurry as tears filled your eyes, everything making you shudder in pleaser tenfold. One hand smacked your ass before his hands dipped between your folds, swirling in your wetness and pushing inside you shallowly.

Almost out of instinct you pushed back, slowly starting to rock your pussy against his face, his mouth, his tongue and your cheeks blazing form the heat. “There we go,” he praised you, “I knew you would be good for me. Isn’t that what you are? Good for me?”

“Yes,” you mumbled into the pillows, “I’m good for you, Paz, s-so good.”

“Kriffing right you are,” he responded, sucking your clit into his mouth, your thighs spasming as you lost all tension in your body, “Letting me put a baby in you. A little warrior for us to raise.”

It did not escape you that he was referencing your wedding vows. Really, it did not.

But with the way his tongue was licking over your folds, his fingers pushing inside you, slowly stretching you to prepare your body for his cock, your eyes rolled back in your head as you just … came.

Wetness coated your legs and you heard Paz moan, getting more frantic in his endeavour to lick it all up.

“Taste sweet like honey,” he commented, his hands spreading our cheeks apart so he could reach you more easily. You whimpered, already on the edge of overstimulation before he had even done anything close to fucking you.

“You okay, love?” he asked, his mouth leaving your cunt and his hands soothingly rubbing the back of your thighs, “You’re … you’re really sensitive today.”

“I – I don’t know,” you gasped, trying to catch your breath, “I think it’s because I … like the idea of this.”

“Of what?” you could hear the grin in his voice as he slowly plastered his chest to your back until his lips were right by your ear, “Of me fucking a baby into you?”

You whimpered.

“That’s what gets you going, huh?” he teased, his hands slipping between the comforter and your body, cupping your tits, “Thinking about these getting bigger? Heavier? Full with milk for our baby?”

You nodded, “Uh-huh.”

His fingers tweaked your nipples harshly before leaving them, wandering to your belly, “Thinking about this getting bigger and bigger? Your body growing to accommodate my child in you?”

“Yes,” you gasped, pushing your ass back against him, moaning when you felt him hard against you, smearing precum over your skin, “Yesyesyes, all those things I just – please breed me, Paz.”

“With pleasure,” he growled, his body leaving yours and you whined before you felt his hands on your waist, “Gonna pump you so full, it will drip out of you for days.”

He guided you to turn around, climbing onto the bed.

His cock was hard and leaking and another rush of wetness rushed to your core at seeing him like this, lust and love in his eyes as he looked you over. He leaned down, kissing you sweetly as his hands ran all over your skin, from your thighs over your belly to your chest, playing with your hard nipples. You moaned.

“I love you,” he breathed against you, his knees widening and so pushing your legs wider as well, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you murmured, your hand coming up to cradle his cheek, thumb rubbing over his cheekbone, “Do – Do you think it’ll work?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed, his forehead falling against y our as his forearms rested next to your head, encasing you completely, “But I want it to work.”

“Me too,” you gasped, your fingers spreading yourself open for him, eyes fluttering closed as he nudged against your entrance, “I – I want your child, Paz. I want a family with you.”

He groaned, pushing forward with a loss of self-control and you moaned as he split you apart, your body trying to adjust to the size of him. You mewled, your hands surged up to grip his shoulders, nails digging into his skin until he hissed. If possible, his eyes got even darker. His thrust grew deeper, longer and when his hips met yours, you wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting to keep him close.

“I don’t want to take chances,” he growled, thrusting inside you and you gasped, “I want to fill you up again and again until I’m sure you’ll be swollen with my child. Is that – is that okay?”

You were sure your eyes were as wide as plates, your mouth open in a gasp as your body rocked from his thrusts, “Yes.”

Another thrust, deeper this time, hitting your very end and making your see stars.

“Yes, Paz,” you breathed, plaint in his arms as you tried to keep your body from imploding, “Put a baby in me. _Pleasepleaseplease_ fill me up, want to drip from you, want – want to be so full there’s no chance I’m not pregnant.”

He hissed, his thrusts quickening as his hips snapped against yours again and again. The sound of flesh slapping flesh filled your ears, hearing how wet you were had he parted you time after time.

“’m close,” he announced, out of breath, against your temple, “I’m close, mesh’la, what do you need to -?”

You did not let him finish, simply put your hand between your legs, two of your fingers forming a V and feeling how wide he was splitting you open while your thumb drew quick circles around your clit. You could your body steadily working towards a new crest, the wave getting higher and higher, almost seeming impossible to climb but then Paz slammed into you, hitting a spot so deep you were sure you had never felt it before as he came.

Your vision went black for just a moment, your body letting itself fall into unthinkable depths as every single muscle you could think of locked up, clamping your around him so hard you were sure you could never move again. And you never wanted to move again.

You wanted to stay here forever, with Paz inside you, panting in your ears he filled you up and your body took you on a ride of unknown pleasure.

Was it because you did not have the implant? Because you wanted a child? Because Paz wanted a child?

You did not know but it felt different. Good different.

Comfortable silence filled the space between you as you both tried to calm down. When your vision cleared you blinked up at him, your eyes wandering over the wrinkles in his forehead, his dark eyes, his soft lips.

He had never looked more beautiful than in this exact moment.

You kissed him.

*

His heart was beating fast in his chest, the rush of adrenaline and pleasure still pumping through his veins as he tried to catch his breath.

He was still inside you, still enveloped in your warmth, and stars, he did not want to leave. Not when he wanted to keep you full of him until your belly would swell with his child – _ren_ , his brain added, with his child _ren_. Not when he wanted to wrap you up in his arms and never leave.

Your chest was heaving just as much as his, your hand resting above his chest, fingers drawing small circles on his skin.

“I don’t want you to leave,” you said quietly, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss against his skin.

Paz let out a heavy breath, supporting himself on his forearms above you and enjoying the way his whole body was pressed against yours. “I don’t have to,” he replied, “We could … I could stay here if you want.”

“That sounds nice,” you nodded. The way your eyes fluttered shut … Paz smiled. He knew the signs of your post-coital nap by heart now and before you could slip off into dreamland, he let one of his hands wander to your hip.

“It might be nicer to turn around,” he suggested, whispering into your ear, “Don’t want to crush you.”

You hummed, nodding sleepily and wrapping your arms around his neck. It took some manoeuvring and giggles from you but soon enough Paz was lying down, you splayed on top of him with him still very much buried inside of you.

“How are you feeling?”

“Happy,” you replied, sounding completely sated, your cheek pressed to his chest, “Happy and in love.”

Paz smiled up at the ceiling, knowing that you could probably interpret his silence correctly. His heart swelled in his chest as he put his hand on the middle of your back, staring to write letters of the possible names of your future children on your skin.

And there, with you sleeping in his arms in the bunk where it has all started, Paz was unconditionally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello on tumblr! @maybege

**Author's Note:**

> vod = brother
> 
> chakaar = corpse robber, thief, petty criminal - general term of abuse
> 
> utreekov = fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead)
> 
> mesh’la = beautiful
> 
> Come say hello on Tumblr! @maybege


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